Can we all just stop what we're doing and be honest for one goddamned minute here?
Motherhood is some tough shit. Fatherhood, too. All of this is true for parenthood in general.
But you know what?
If you have kids or little ones you love so much you consider them your own*, I want you to know that you're doing a fucking kick ass job at it. Don't let anyone ever try to convince you otherwise.
Even on your worst day when you forget it's your turn on carpool duty and Benny the hamster escaped his cage only to turn up dead in the washing machine and you completely lost your shit because you just stepped on a Lego that little Susie refused to pick up … even THEN, you're still doing great.
Just remember that every parent under the stars has their highs and lows. I promise you June Cleaver lovingly uttered “Fuck off, you heathens!” under her breath to Wally and Beaver at some point.
Sure, there are days where we all feel guilty for feeding our little ones processed food off of BPA-laden plates. But recognize you love that little kid enough to make sure they have food in their belly.
And when you are so stressed out and angry that you have to step away from the situation and hide in the bathroom with a package of Oreos? You are smart enough to grasp the power of a “me moment” and how it’s essential and healthy for everyone at some point each and every day. And sometimes their lives depend on that moment of reprieve. (Plus sometimes you simply don’t want to share your Oreos.)
And when you're having a rough day and feel like the world’s worst Mom, so you throw some cartoons on the TV and lock yourself in the shower to have a long, hard cry? You care so much that you don’t want your children to see how sad you are, so you give them some time with their favorite colorful characters.
The point is, even when you feel like you’re failing, you’re doing a great job. Everyone takes their rightful turn behind the wheel of the proverbial struggle bus of parenthood at some point.
I’ve been the mom-to-be in that holistic, hippy-esque birthing class.
I’ve also been the mom who had an epidural within five seconds of walking into triage.
I’ve been the mom to make organic purees for her children.
And I’ve also been the mom who let her kid eat a Goldfish cracker off the dirty floor while shopping at Target.
Don't worry, it didn't kill him.
I’ve been the mom whose had her shit together and the one who runs to the grocery store in her pajamas because I simply can’t exist as a functioning member of society on any given day.
And I’ve also been the mom who was so distraught after giving birth, that I didn’t know my up from my down and I was truly terrified of fucking my daughter up beyond comprehension. I now know that I had been exhibiting some of the signs of postpartum depression and truly wish I’d had a friend in that moment to encourage me to talk to my doctor about what I was experiencing. If you feel like you, or someone you love, could use a little postpartum support — don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help from your doctor. You’re not alone. You’re a part of the league of extraordinary moms and simply reaching out to ask for help exemplifies your greatness and strength.
But the beautiful part is all of these “moms” are perfect. And right. And doing what is best for their baby in that given space and time with what they’ve got.
And that, right there, is motherhood at its finest.
There is more than enough competition out in the world, we need to stop comparing ourselves to the pristine images that litter magazines. And Facebook is this facade of what we want people to see rather than the reality that is our beautiful, disheveled life. And don't even get me started on Pinterest. Each time I log on I'm reminded just how gloriously I'm failing at life just because I can't repurpose a vintage towel rack into a wine bottle holder (look that one up — it's pretty amazing!).
I guess what I'm saying is that as women, we are all on the same team.
We need to spend less time judging each other and more time building one another up.
So regardless of if you had a water birth or c-section or totally abused the little epidural button in between contractions like me, let's celebrate the fact that we are raising some incredible, tiny human beings.
Keep on kicking ass, Mom.
* Barring any abductions or cult families. Because that’s simply not cool, yo.