I had an incredible dream that night.

I walked into the house after a long day at the office. I undid my tie as I walked through the door and popped open the top button on my collared shirt. Rome was sitting on the couch with her paperwork on the coffee table. Her heels were slipped off her feet and tucked neatly under the table.

I stood at the edge of the living room and stared her down.

She met my look with her usual feistiness. “How was your day?”

I wasn’t in the mood for small talk. I wasn’t in the mood to be equals. I just wanted to be in control. “Don’t speak.”

The feistiness stayed in her eyes, but she didn’t open her mouth again, obeying me like the good submissive she was. She knew I was in the mood to be more than just her boyfriend. She knew I wanted to dominate.

“On your knees.” I didn’t need to tell her twice.

She moved to the floor and sat on her knees, her hands resting on her thighs. Defiance was in her eyes because she didn’t want to obey me. But she listened to me anyway, knowing this was what I needed.

And that made me rock-hard.

I stripped off my jacket and tossed it on the ground. Then I moved to my shirt next, taking my time as I undid each button. Despite her discomfort, I made her wait. She would sit there as long as I wanted her to. Now she was the submissive, and she had a job to do.

I dropped my shirt then undid my belt. I felt the leather in my hands and pondered if I should spank her for no reason whatsoever. I liked striking her hard, making her cry and beg for more at the same time.

But I didn’t.

I tossed the belt to the floor then undid my slacks. I dropped everything on the ground and kicked off my shoes. A metal leash appeared from nowhere, and I approached her with the open collar in my hands.

She eyed it with hesitance but didn’t object.

Because she didn’t have a choice. I was the one in charge. I closed it around her neck and rested the collar on her shoulders. The leash was in my hands, the cold metal quickly warming under my heated skin. “Up.”

She rose to her feet, still in the dress she wore to work that morning.

I walked up the stairs with her in tow. I guided us to the playroom that didn’t exist in my home. A stack of chains sat on the table, and I grabbed the one that would be perfect for what I wanted to do with her.

I leaned against the foot of the bed with the leash still in my grasp. “Undress. Eyes on the floor.”

She averted her gaze and unzipped the back of her dress. She yielded all the power to me, this mighty queen laying down her armor and bowing to me. She removed her dress and let it slip to the floor. Her bra came next, revealing her gorgeous tits that I would soon be clamping. She peeled her panties off next and kicked them aside.

Seeing her submit made my hands clamp around the chain, my knuckles turning white. “Come here.”

She walked to the bed, her gaze still on the ground because she’d never been told otherwise.

“On your stomach.”

Completely naked, she crawled onto the bed and lay flat, the curve of her ass contrasting against her level back.

I grabbed the extra chains that I needed and clasped her ankles together. Then I chained her arms behind her back and forced them to rest along the steep curve. She was bound and ready to be enjoyed.

I crawled on top of her with a throbbing cock. I kept one hand on the leash like she might try to run away. The lube was handy, so I squirted it into her ass then massaged the small hole with my fingers. She was tense in anticipation, knowing my cock felt even bigger in her asshole.

My cock ached to be inside her as the minutes passed. My fingers felt her hole slowly loosen, growing used to the intrusion in the rear. Her breathing was heavy and irregular, sometimes aroused and sometimes frightened.

When she was loose enough, I shoved my huge dick inside her and stretched her unexpectedly.

She moaned when she felt the fullness in her back entrance, her moan mixed with a cry of pain.

“You know the safe word.” She had the power to get out of this anytime she wanted. But she never uttered the word because she wanted me to enjoy the fun. She wanted me to get what I needed. Every time I did, I could go longer periods without having it. It worked in her favor.

I yanked on the chain and forced her chin back, my cock buried deep inside her. “Beg me to fuck you hard.” I tugged on the leash until her face was nearly pointed to the ceiling. She gasped for air because she could hardly breathe.

“Please…fuck me in the ass.”

I released the chain and pounded into her hard, fucking her ass like a toy. I rocked the bed and banged the headboard against the wall. With every tap, I fell deeper into the moment. My woman was completely submissive to me, doing anything I asked without asking a single question. She let me do incredible things to her, allowed me to have complete control over her.

It was the greatest turn-on of my life.

I couldn’t last long, not when my fantasy was coming true. I listened to her release moans that were quickly followed by cries because I was fucking her so hard. She enjoyed it, but it hurt at the same time.

I couldn’t last any longer. I came with a moan.

And that’s when I woke up.

My eyes popped open, and I saw the dark ceiling. My cock twitched as I came under the sheets, my come landing on my stomach. My body immediately jerked, and an uncontrollable moan escaped my mouth. I was half asleep so I couldn’t think clearly. My hand wrapped around my cock, and I jerked myself as I finished.

Oh, fuck…

I stared at the ceiling as I caught my breath, still high from the incredible orgasm that shook me to the bone. It took me a moment to realize exactly where I was and who I was with. Rome was fast asleep beside me, having no idea what just happened.

Like a teenager, I had a wet dream.

Jesus Christ.

I kicked off the sheets then cleaned myself off in the bathroom. There was so much come I didn’t know how I produced it all through a lucid dream. The door was shut and the light was still off, so I gripped the counter and leaned against, the images of the dream still faint in my mind.

I came hard with Rome—but not like that.

I was dreaming about the woman who was already in my bed, about the things I wasn’t allowed to do with her. I thought I could defeat this, ignore my instincts, but perhaps that was wishful thinking.

Maybe I could never conquer this.

I wasn’t betraying Rome because all of my fantasies were about her. But when she asked if I had doubts about our relationship, I gave her a sugarcoated answer—just the way she did to me. We both had our secrets from one another, but all couples did, right?

I walked back into the bedroom and got under the sheets, still smelling a hint of my seed stuck in the fabric. Hopefully, she wouldn’t notice because she was used to the smell at this point.

I turned my head and glanced in her direction, relieved that she was still dead asleep beside me. Her face was beautiful when she slept, in the midst of peaceful dreams. She had no idea what kinds of thoughts existed in my mind. We saw two women making out for Jackson’s enjoyment, and that didn’t surprise me at all. Rome, on the other hand, wasn’t sure how she should react.

Now that I was wide awake, I couldn’t fall back asleep. My body was still hot from that dream I’d had, so erotic and dark. I’d give anything to do that to Rome in real life, to have her submit to me with a simple command.

Maybe there was a way I could still make that happen.

* * *

I had a phone meeting with a donor on the other side of the world, so I took the call while Rome prepared dinner in the kitchen. I could smell the shrimp on the stove along with the vegetables and rice. She didn’t need to pay her portion of the mortgage because she definitely compensated in other ways.

I ended the call just in time to eat. The plates were on the table along with two glasses of wine. I sat across from her and enjoyed my dinner like I did every night, feeling like a married couple rather than something less serious. But the comparison didn’t bother me. The idea of forever with this woman excited me rather than terrified me.

“How’d the call go?”

“Good. I got him to pledge a lot of money.”

“How do you do that?” She swirled her wine before she sipped it. “To get people to hand over cash like that?”

“I’m pretty charming.” My mouth stretched into an arrogant smirk so she knew I was kidding.

“You are very charming. Where did you learn?”

“It’s not something you can learn. It’s something you just have.”

“I guess that would explain why Jackson’s a shithead.”

I chuckled before I drank my wine. “Great insight.” I took a few bites and liked the flavor. Rome knew how to mix things together without making anything overly potent.

She stirred her rice around before she finally took a few bites. She chewed slowly then straightened her posture in the chair, as if she was preparing to say something. “Can I ask you something personal? Something you probably don’t want to talk about?”

Even if I didn’t want to talk about it, she could still ask me anything. “What’s on your mind?”

“I was thinking about what I saw in Jackson’s office the other day…”

The two women?

“I know you’ve been a Dom for most of your life.”

All of my life.

“But…have you ever done other things?”

“Such as?”

“Like…been with two women at once?”

I was surprised she asked the question since the answer was pretty obvious. “Why do you ask?”

“I just…I’m not sure why. I know I don’t really want to know these things. What you’ve done doesn’t change where we are now. I guess I’m just curious, and I know curiosity killed the cat.”

“Do you want me to answer your question?”

She took a few more bites as she considered the question. Then she dabbed her pretty lips with the napkin. “Yes, I do.”

The question wasn’t difficult to answer. “Many times.”

Her expression didn’t change into one of disappointment. She’d obviously been expecting it. “Did you ever do things where you weren’t the Dom?”

It wasn’t something that could easily be turned off. It was a part of who I was. It was why I struggled to deal with her bossiness sometimes. My anger got the best of me, and I blew up when I shouldn’t. “Other than with you, never.”

“And a woman has never asked for more?”

Not even Isabella. All she wanted was to be my sub again. “No. I made my intentions very clear. Besides, women prefer me as a Dom.”

“All the time?”

I nodded, knowing Isabella couldn’t get enough of it.

She still seemed skeptical of that. She eyed me with hesitance before she took another bite of her food.

My hand automatically formed a fist on the table, my inner Dom clawing to the surface. I wanted to command her to get on her knees and suck me off until she choked. I wanted to tell her I would be her Dom whether she liked it or not. If she tried to run, I’d just chain her up.

“Everything okay?”

Rome’s sweet voice forced my hand to relax. I eyed the food in front of me, reminding myself how happy I was just to have dinner with her. This sensation came at the most unexpected times. In general, I was happy and satisfied. I learned that I enjoyed making love when it came to the right woman. I enjoyed holding her while we slept together every night. I enjoyed everything about what we had.

But I would always want more.

* * *

I’d considered my plan several times and knew it wasn’t solid. Rome could react in many different ways. She could tell me I had a serious problem and our relationship would never work. Or she could be tempted by the dark side and join me.

I wouldn’t know until I tried.

I waited a few hours after dinner before I mentioned it. She was already in one of my long t-shirts as she sat on the couch, her hair pulled over one shoulder and her eyes on the TV. In a few hours, we would make love then go to bed.

But I had other plans.

I grabbed the remote and turned off the TV.

Rome eyed me, knowing it was too early for bed so I must want to say something.

“There’s something I want to show you.” I rose from the couch and grabbed my keys from the entryway. “I don’t want to answer a million questions. I just want you to give me a chance and trust me.” I inserted my hands into the front pockets of my jeans.

Rome’s expression didn’t change, but she was definitely caught by surprise. She watched me by the door until she rose to her feet. She looked at the ground as she considered the request. Her feet guided her to the stairway adjacent to the entryway. When she looked at me, the hesitance thudded in her eyes like a bright light. But she must have taken my words to heart because she said, “Let me get dressed.”

* * *

I drove us to the private parking area in the back of Ruin.

The second we pulled into the spot and I turned off the engine, she knew where we were. She eyed the building before she turned back to me, disappointment written all over her features. She was a smart girl and had connected the dots instantly. A quiet sigh escaped her lips, loud enough that I could hear it in the car.

“Trust me.” I knew she could ask me to take her home at any moment. If she did, I would have to do as she asked. I was a Dom who wanted to be obeyed, but strangely enough, I wanted her to have the power. The second she wanted something, I would give it to her—even if I didn’t agree with it.

When she didn’t speak, I knew she was trying to keep an open mind.

We walked to the back entrance where I used my key card and code to get inside. My arm immediately shot around her waist as I guided her through the crowded club. Music blared overhead, and couples paired off together on the dance floor.

I guided her upstairs to the playroom and located the one I’d specifically reserved for the evening. I slid my key card inside, and the room opened to a small area with a leather sofa. It faced a glass window that looked directly into a playroom, which was fully furnished with everything a consensual Dom/sub encounter could need.

Rome eyed the room, not having a clue what we were doing.

I grabbed her hand and guided her to the sofa. We both sat down, and I held her hand on my thigh.

We looked into the empty playroom.

Rome was patient for several minutes, not saying anything as she expected something to happen. But eventually, she grew tired of the unknown. “Calloway—”

The door to the playroom opened, and a man and a woman walked inside. Jet was a good-looking guy with a powerful body, a fierce expression, and experience in the lifestyle that made him a respected Dom. With him was a woman who had been one of his favorite subs over the past year.

“On your knees.” Jet issued the command with ease and pulled his shirt over his head, revealing a chiseled physique similar to mine. He gave her directions of what to do, having her behave in the exact manner he preferred.

I explained what we were doing. “They know we’re here. But they can’t see us.”

“And why are we here?” She spoke quietly like we could be overheard.

“I want you to see what it’s like, sweetheart. You won’t give me a chance yourself. But maybe if you watched, you would understand.”

A quiet sigh escaped her lips, her disappointment evident. “Calloway—”

“Just consider it. I’m not asking you to do anything but watch.”

“I’m not gonna watch two people have sex,” she argued.

“You’ve never seen porn?” I challenged, knowing even an innocent virgin like her must have touched herself to a good video every now and then. “It’s not any different. In fact, they want to be watched. It’s a fetish of theirs.”

“It’s still—”

“Rome, I’m asking you to do this for me. Isn’t that enough?” I’d made a lot of compromises for her. It wasn’t out of the question for me to ask her to do this in exchange.

Her eyes were glued to Jet and Jasmine through the window. Rome was obviously uncomfortable with them getting undressed, but once she relaxed, she would feel aroused. She would want what they had—but with me.

Jet stood naked at the foot of the mattress and looked down at Cynthia. “Suck me off. Now.”

Her hands were in front of her with a sash, and she rose up to put his dick in her mouth. Jet gripped the back of her head and forcefully pulled her mouth over his length, hitting her in the back of the throat as he fucked her hard. Saliva dripped down her jaw and splashed onto her knees. She breathed whenever she had a chance but committed herself to sucking him just the way he wanted.

Jet played with his balls as he shoved his cock deep inside her throat, nearly making her gag a few times. When he was about to come, he pulled her mouth off his length and gripped her by the hair. “Hands in the air. Now.”

She lifted her arms to the ceiling.

Jet fastened the shackles above her to her arms then suspended her inches above the floor. He snatched a whip from the stand then slapped her unexpectedly on the ass.

She cried out as she swung forward, her ass already marked red.

Rome immediately looked agitated, like she couldn’t handle it.

I gripped her thigh and kept her steady. “Give it a chance.”

“You want me to whip you, baby?” Jet asked as he positioned himself behind her, his cock still long and hard.

“Yes,” she answered.

“You’re gonna have to be louder than that.”

“Yes,” she yelled.

“You’ve been a bad girl, huh?” Jet came up behind her and gripped her by the hips. He kneeled down and kissed the area between her cheeks, licking her pussy as the whip remained in his hand.

She rolled her head back, her face tilted to the ceiling. “Yes…”

Jet ate her out for a few moments, worshiping her body with his tongue. He sucked and licked, bringing her to the edge of bliss.

I eyed Rome out of the corner of my eye, hoping for some reaction. Her cheeks were slightly tinted, but I wasn’t certain what that meant.

Jet stepped back with the whip. “You’ll come when I tell you to come.” He struck the whip across her back, making her swing forward with the momentum.

“Oh…”

He whipped her again, pacing back and forth as he admired the red mark down her back. “Do you understand me?” He whipped her again.

“Yes…” She moaned as the tears bubbled in her eyes.

“Yes, Sir,” he corrected. He whipped her again.

The arrangement continued until she received ten lashes. Her back was marked with the red lines, but they were superficial and would fade by the following morning. He moved his arm with ease, striking her far gentler than I had with some subs.

He stepped in front of her and wrapped her legs around his waist then shoved himself inside her, having an easy entry because she was soaked. “Baby…you feel so good right now.” He fucked her hard as she hung from the ceiling, her hips grinding with him as they moved together. He sucked her nipples into his mouth and even bit them from time to time. Every time she seemed to be hurt, she was quickly reabsorbed back into the moment.

Watching him fuck her with such intensity reminded me of my passion for Rome. I wish I were fucking her like that at this very moment. I wasn’t aroused by Jet or Cynthia. But I was turned on by the idea of having that kind of relationship with the woman right beside me.

My hand moved to her thigh, and I slowly slid up her dress, migrating to the apex of her thighs.

She turned to me, her lips parted like she’d been breathing heavier than usual. Her cheeks were rosy and her nipples hard through the top of her dress. I recognized that look from all the times I’d fucked her.

She was turned on.

I knew it.

I moved my mouth to hers and kissed her as we both listened to Jet fuck Cynthia into oblivion. My tongue moved into her mouth until it met hers. They danced together with desperation, our mutual arousal combining. My hand continued up her thigh until I felt the lace of her underwear. I stroked it gently until my fingers pulled it to the side and exposed her glistening sex. The second I touched her clit, I felt the moisture. I rubbed her gently before I turned aggressive, making her pant and moan for me. She may have been thinking about Jet and Cynthia a moment ago, but she was certainly thinking about me now.

I fingered her and rubbed my thumb against her clit as I continued to kiss her. My hard dick pressed against the inside of my jeans as he ached for release. I wanted to fuck her senseless right then and there. Feeling her arousal across my fingertips, knowing she was hot for the same reasons I was, was a fantasy come true.

I was finally getting what I wanted.

If only I had done this a long time ago.

Jet and Cynthia were now irrelevant to me. They did their part, and now they were forgettable. I was a much stronger Dom than Jet could ever be. If Rome was turned on by that, wait until she saw me in action.

I lifted her from the sofa and carried her out of the room, still kissing her as I moved across the hall and got one of the playrooms unlocked. The door shut behind us, and I dropped her on the bed. I practically ripped her dress as I got it off, needing her to be naked as quickly as possible.

She unclasped her bra for me to speed things along, and I yanked her panties off and spotted the sticky arousal that soaked the fabric. My jeans and shirt were gone, and now my hands started to shake. I could finally have her the way I wanted her. Now I didn’t know what to do first.

But then I snapped into action.

I snatched a handful of cable ties. “Turn over.”

She did as I asked.

A thrill ran through my body immediately, making me tingle and go numb. Seeing her obey was the sexiest thing I’d ever witnessed. She didn’t fight me. She just listened.

Fuck, I wasn’t going to last long.

I stuck her ass in the air then yanked her wrists to her knees. I secured the cable ties around both her wrists and ankles, keeping them together so she couldn’t move. She looked stunning that way, a sub ready to be spanked.

I needed to punish her. She’d made me wait so long for this. My chest was about to explode from the anticipation.

I pressed my mouth to her entrance and tasted her, feeling her arousal all over my tongue. I sucked her clit and ate her out like she was a feast prepared just for me. Her moans echoed in the room, growing louder and louder until she was on the verge of coming. I purposely sucked her clit harder to bring her to the very edge.

Then I pulled away.

Her moans turned into a whimper of devastation.

My hand moved to her ass, and I rubbed her cheek, my cock ready to burst at the sight. In a few seconds, my palm was going to mark her fair skin, turning it red. The outline of my hand was going to be imprinted on her skin until the following morning. “You deserve to be punished, Rome. You’ve teased me for so long.”

She breathed deeply as she felt my hand glide over her ass. Her hair stretched down her back in loose curls, contrasting against her white skin. She glanced at me over her shoulder, her lips still parted with arousal.

“You have a lot of making up to do.” I smacked my palm against her ass hard, making her jolt forward with the momentum. The clapping sound echoed in the playroom, music to my ears. My cock twitched at the same time, eager to be inside that wet cunt.

She gave a yelp as she shifted forward, not expecting me to spank her like that. She held herself up on her arms and stiffened.

My hand wrapped around her hair, and I yanked her head back, making her look toward the ceiling. “Men like me don’t wait, Rome.” I spanked her harder, leaving a mark on her ass where my hand struck her.

She shifted forward again, her neck strained since I had a hold of her hair.

I rubbed her other cheek, ready to make it just as red as the other. My cock slid between her cheeks because he desperately wanted to be inside her. I hadn’t even fucked her yet, and I’d never been this hard-up, this excited. I raised my palm to strike her again.

“Don’t.” She fought against the cable ties that secured her wrists to her ankles. “Stop.”

We hadn’t established a safe word yet, but when a woman told me to stop, I stopped. I wanted to keep going—more than anything else in the fucking world. My cock wanted to ignore her protests and suffer the consequences later. But the decent man inside me took control. I undid both of the cable ties so she could be free.

She immediately moved away from me on the bed, covering her chest with her arms like she didn’t want me to look at her. Tears were in her eyes, and she pulled her knees to her chest, hiding her figure even more.

It killed me.

Naturally, I wanted to wrap my arms around her and protect her from all of her fears. But there was nothing I could do when I was the one she was terrified of. I grabbed my boxers and jeans and pulled them on, not wanting her to know that I was still hard for her. It would take me at least half an hour to come down from the high she just gave me.

I sat on the other side of the bed and waited for her to speak first, giving her the opportunity to say whatever she needed to say. I was devastated she’d pulled away from me. Did I hit her too hard? Did I do something to frighten her? Didn’t she trust me enough not to take her somewhere she couldn’t handle? “Sweetheart, talk to me.”

“Why do you enjoy hurting me so much?” Her voice was heavy with impending tears. They didn’t fall from her eyes, but they were bubbling under the surface. “Why am I not enough for you? Why do we always come back here?”

That was too many questions for me to answer at once. “You liked watching Jet and Cynthia. I thought you would understand that the relationship is beautiful. It’s passionate. It’s sexy. I want that with you.”

“I thought what we had was already beautiful…”

“It is,” I said quietly. “And I do cherish what we have. I just want more sometimes. I thought if I showed you what it was like, you might feel differently. And you did. We can argue all you want, but you were soaked before I even touched you. Explain that to me, Rome.”

She held her tongue.

“Rome,” I pressed. “Don’t deny it.”

She opened her mouth to speak but closed it again. Minutes trickled by, but she still didn’t say anything. “I did like it. I did think it was sexy. But when I was on the bed…and you were hitting me…it made me feel worthless. It made me feel weak. It made me feel like someone you could abuse because I’m inferior to you. And it reminds me of…a lot of things. The fact that you enjoy hurting me so much just breaks my heart.” She sniffed, and a tear finally came loose.

Now I regretted bringing her here.

I scooted to her side of the bed and wrapped my arm around her. “It’s more than that, Rome. It’s about trust. It’s about you allowing me to do these things. I would never truly hurt you. I would never give you more than you could take.”

“But why does it have to be this way at all?” she whispered. “Why can’t we just be a normal couple that makes love? Why can’t we have rough sex sometimes? Why do we have to go to this dark and disturbing place? I love you, Calloway. I just want you.”

I pulled her into my chest and pressed my lips to her hairline. I wanted to tell her I felt the same way, but I just couldn’t do it. She’d been so patient with me, but I couldn’t cross that line. “I’m sorry. I really think if we tried a few times, you would realize it’s a beautiful relationship. It doesn’t make you weak. It’s the opposite, Rome. It will make both of us strong. We don’t have to do it all the time—just sometimes.”

“I don’t want to do it at all, Calloway.” Her tears stopped, and her voice became stern. “I’m sorry. I know this is something you want, but I just can’t do it. It goes against everything I believe in, everything I stand for. A woman should never have to put up with a man laying a hand on her—”

“It’s not like that. Don’t paint me a woman-beater.” I wasn’t like Hank and knocked her around because she said something to piss me off. “I spanked you so you would feel good. If you really fell into the moment with me, you would feel that pleasure.”

She shook her head like her answer would never change. “I don’t want this, Calloway. If this is something you can’t live without, then…” She couldn’t finish the sentence because it was too painful. “I understand.”

Experiencing the high, even for a moment, reminded me how much I loved being a Dom, how much I loved being in a playroom. But I knew I would never have the same experience with anyone else. “I can’t live without you, sweetheart. You know that.”

She finally looked at me, her eyes still wet.

I kissed the corner of her eye and sighed, disappointed this dream was taken away from me. But I’d tried to make it work between us. I’d tried to show her it was more pleasure than pain. But her past, her struggles, clouded her mind so much that she couldn’t truly feel the exhilaration. “I’m sorry I brought you here. I’m sorry I pressured you.” When I held her against my chest, I felt her melt like she always did. Instead of storming off and saying I was an asshole, she stuck by me. If she was willing to put up with my transgressions, I needed to put up with hers. Otherwise, we would lose each other.

And I couldn’t survive that.

I kissed her temple. “Let’s go home.”

* * *

We didn’t have sex for two days.

I could tell she wasn’t ready for it. Every night when we went to bed, she purposely turned away from me, her body language telling me everything I needed to know. Whenever she kissed me, it was always quick and passionless, like if she gave me more affection than that, it could give me the wrong impression.

But honestly, I didn’t really want to have sex either.

Which was a first for me.

After having my fantasy in my grasp and losing it, I was too devastated to want anything. I had Rome on the bed with her ass in the air, her hands tied to her ankles, and I had the luxury of spanking her so hard my palm left a mark.

And then it was taken away from me.

Just like that dream I had, the experience was absolutely incredible. I’d never felt more alive than I did in that moment with her, when she allowed me to do whatever I wanted. Knowing her pussy got wet for the same reasons my cock got hard was everything I wanted.

But that was over.

Now I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know where to go from here. I could just walk away from Rome and pick up a sub in a few hours.

But, fuck, I didn’t want another sub.

I didn’t want another woman.

I only wanted her Rome.

So how did I rectify this? How did I fix this?

I didn’t have a clue.

I was sitting at my desk in the office when Jackson called me. Perhaps he’d made a decision about my mom. I took the call and stared out the window. “What?”

“Geez, you’re in a bad mood.”

I let the insult roll off my shoulder. “What?”

“Are you a parrot now?”

My hand formed a fist. “You have something to tell me, asshole? If not, I have shit to do.”

“Whoa, alright,” Jackson said. “I heard through the grapevine you took Rome to Ruin a few nights ago. But you didn’t stick around. What happened?”

Jet must have mentioned it. “I don’t want to talk about it, Jackson. I’ll talk to you later.” I moved the phone to the base.

“Whoa, whoa. Hold on. Don’t hang up on me.”

The only reason why I put the phone back to my ear was because he was my brother.

He must have known I was still around because he spoke again. “I’m not being nosy—”

“Sure seems that way.”

“Judging from your tone, it didn’t work out.”

It blew up in my face. I only got to spank her twice before the fun was over. “No.”

“She just wasn’t into it?”

“She was.” I knew that much. Her pussy couldn’t have been that wet for no reason at all. “But her beliefs hold her back.”

“Her beliefs?”

“She thinks it’s sexist and abusive. She thinks by allowing me to do that to her, she’s accepting disrespect. Hank messed her up real bad, and I suspect there was even someone before that who screwed her up too. She doesn’t trust me enough to go down this road.” I sighed into the phone, unable to hide my sadness.

“That’s too bad. I’m sorry, Cal.”

I heard the sincerity in his voice. It wasn’t very often when he acted like a compassionate human being. It was a good color on him. “I know.”

“What are you going to do, then?”

“Same thing as before.” I would have to fight my urges and beat off from time to time when the temptation became too much. The rest of the time, I was happy.

“You’ve been doing that, and it’s obviously not working.”

“If you’re suggesting I leave her, I can’t do that.”

“Because of Hank?” he asked.

“No.” Because I couldn’t live without her—plain and simple.

“I don’t understand. I couldn’t just turn it off, you know? I couldn’t just change who I am.”

“She satisfies me every night. It’s just every now and then when I want something more extreme…I take care of it in other ways.”

Jackson knew what I meant. “I don’t know…that’s a big sacrifice.”

I didn’t see any other way. “We broke up once before, and I was far more miserable than I am now. It’s definitely the lesser of two evils.”

“Maybe you can wait a few months and try again. Or maybe even longer than that.”

She was too stubborn to change her mind. After the sight of her tears, I never wanted to cause her pain again. I got so much pleasure out of smacking her ass, but so much depression when she cried afterward. “No. It’s over.”

Jackson was silent over the line, accepting my circumstance.

“Isabella came to my office about a month ago.” I wasn’t sure what possessed me to say that. I’d be lying if I said her words hadn’t affected me. The Dom inside me had been coaxed to life, piqued by her offer.

“What’d she say?”

“She wanted me to be her Dom again.”

“How is that new?”

“She said she wanted me to control her, tell her what to do. But we don’t need to have sex. We don’t even need to touch.”

Jackson finally caught on. “It’s not a bad idea. You can take your dominance out on Isabella. It’s not cheating if you don’t touch her or beat off to her.”

“Yeah…” Something in my gut told me it was still wrong.

“You get the best of both worlds, right?” Jackson asked. “You get Rome and all the vanilla, boyfriend bullshit. And you can get what you need from Isabella, the stuff Rome refuses to give you. I think that’s more than fair.”

Rome would never go for it. “I don’t know…”

“And she doesn’t even need to know. If anything, it would be better for Rome. She would never have to worry about BDSM popping up again. It would be gone for good. And if she’s not willing to give you what you need, then she shouldn’t be surprised that you’re getting it from somewhere else. I think it’s totally fair.”

The more Jackson sided with me, the more tempted I became. But no matter how strong my urge was, I could never assuage the guilt sitting inside my stomach. If she went to an ex for needs I couldn’t fulfill, I wouldn’t be happy about it. But then again, I would always give her what she needed, so that would never happen.

And she wasn’t willing to go that far for me.

“You should go for it. It’s not like Rome would find out anyway. Say you’re helping out at Ruin a few nights a month. You know the code here. No one is going to spill your secret, not even Isabella.”

I worked my jaw and rubbed my fingers across the stubble. “Have you thought more about Mom?” The fact that I was even considering this innately wrong idea made me feel like an asshole. I changed the subject to hide the pain in my stomach.

Jackson quickly changed his tune. “I don’t know, man…”

I didn’t push him either way. I wasn’t good at persuading people like Rome.

“Seeing her like that just makes me feel like shit.”

“I’m not a fan of it either.” But I manned up and did it anyway.

“I hardly talk to people I know. What am I supposed to talk to her about?”

“She’s a human being, Jackson,” I countered. “She just lost her memory. It’s not like she turned into a squirrel.”

“But you still know what I mean, Cal. Don’t act like you don’t.”

I rubbed my fingers across my chin and stared at the city outside my window. I gently shifted my chair from left to right with my foot on the ground. My mind wandered to my mother and then back to Rome. “Let me know what you decide.”

“I already said I didn’t want to do it.”

“Well, I don’t accept that answer, Jackson. So think about it some more.” I dropped the phone on the base without taking my eyes off the view from my office. I had emails to write and phone calls to make, but now I didn’t feel like lifting a finger.

I didn’t feel like doing anything.