Jackson called me at work later that week. I assumed he wanted to tell me he would visit Mom more often, but that wasn’t how the conversation went.

“Do you think you could swing by and help me with a few things?”

I didn’t want to take Rome back in there again. When we’d dragged Jackson out of there, it was still awkward. There was no way we could both set foot inside that place and not think about what happened in the playroom. “Can’t we take care of this now—over the phone?”

“So, I’m supposed to read off everything to you?” he asked incredulously. “No, I’ve got more important shit to do.”

I rolled my eyes because I knew we were back to where we were. He was going to act like the conversation we had about Mom never happened. “How long is this gonna take? Can I leave Rome in the car?”

“Just take her home. You’re telling me she can’t be alone for thirty minutes?”

I didn’t like it when she was alone for even one minute.

“Hank obviously isn’t a problem anymore. You scared that bitch-face off for good. So drop her off and stop by, alright?”

“Fine.”

Jackson hung up without saying goodbye.

Wish I could say I was surprised—but I wasn’t.

I was only going down there because I was attached to Ruin. Even if I wasn’t running it anymore, I still cared about it. I wanted it to be in good hands. That place had been home to me for so long. I met a lot of friends there, a lot of submissives. It definitely had a place in my heart, as strange as that sounded. If Jackson needed help with a completely different business, I would have hung up a long time ago.

I finished the workday then picked up Rome at her office. We made it to the elevator without touching, but once those doors were shut, I cupped her face and kissed her on the lips. There was a camera in the corner, but that didn’t stop me from doing whatever I wanted.

I pressed her against the back wall as I kissed her, our bodies slowly descending to the ground floor of the building. Rome didn’t tell me to back off. She kissed me with the same slow passion, her lips giving me purposeful kisses that were innately sexy. I wished I could stop by her office whenever I wanted, just for a kiss, so making out in the elevator would have to suffice.

When we hit the ground floor, the doors opened and we walked to the car.

“I’m going to Ruin for about thirty minutes,” I announced once we were in the back seat. “Tom will drop you off at the house then come pick me up.” We were already on the way to Ruin, moving in the opposite direction of my home.

Rome didn’t seem concerned about it. “Okay. I’ll get dinner started.”

Even though she didn’t ask any questions, I elaborated. “Jackson said he wanted me to help him out with a few things.”

“You’re the best person to ask. You ran that place for years.”

I wasn’t sure if I expected her to disagree with my decision, but I was surprised by her reaction all the same. “You’ll be okay at the house by yourself?”

She had the nerve to roll her eyes. “Calloway, I’m not scared in the least. I’ll be perfectly fine.”

Rome’s fearlessness was what attracted me to her in the first place. When Hank assaulted her, she fought back and got away—multiple times. She didn’t roll over and play dead. She had a fire that couldn’t be put out with a fire hose. “Okay.”

Tom pulled up to the club and waited for me to get out. I turned to her. “I’ll see you soon, sweetheart.”

“Alright.” She leaned over the seat and kissed me on the mouth.

The second I felt her lips, I wanted to go home. “Don’t tease me, alright?”

“If I wanted to tease you, I’d do this…” She yanked down the front of her dress, showing her perky tits.

My face hardened with frustration and arousal.

“Don’t worry.” She leaned back and crossed her legs. “They’ll be ready for you when you get back.”

“Better be.” I got out and shut the door behind me. The bouncer immediately stepped to the side and allowed me entry with just a nod for a greeting. I buttoned the front of my suit as I walked into the darkness. Even though it was still early in the evening, there were already people dancing under the black light. Music thudded from the speakers and immersed me in the world I’d been born into.

I walked to the office and hoped I wouldn’t run into Isabella on the way. I hadn’t seen her since she dropped by my office about a month ago. I was ashamed to admit she tempted me, not because I missed her or wanted her, but because I wanted that relationship with Rome.

I rapped my knuckles against the door before I walked inside. “Where do we start?”

Jackson left the desk and walked back into the hallway. “Follow me.”

We crossed the bridge that overlooked the first floor and headed to the other side of Ruin where the playrooms were stationed. Jackson fished out his key card then walked to one of the playrooms reserved for either of us or VIPs.

“What’s this about?” I asked, trying not to jump to the wrong conclusion.

“You’ll see.” He got the door open and stepped into the dark room.

I followed behind him and waited for the lights to be flicked on.

Jackson hit the switch then pressed his body against the door, as if he was blocking it.

I didn’t like that one bit. “What are you doing?”

He crossed his arms over his chest then nodded to the center of the room.

Isabella sat on her knees, wearing a leather top and leather shorts with black heels on her feet. Her hair was in a braid over one shoulder, just the way I liked. As if we were back in time, she was ready for me.

I turned back to Jackson and practically snarled. “What the fuck, Jackson?”

“Just listen to me before you flip.” He raised one hand like that might steady me. “You let the Dom go free sometimes. If you bottle him up for too long, bad shit will happen. Trust me on that.”

“Move away from the door, or I’ll make you.”

Jackson held his ground even though he knew I could kick his ass. “There’s no harm in it. Be who you are then go home to Rome.”

“What the fuck?” I snapped. “I thought you liked Rome?”

“I do like her—a lot,” he countered. “Which is why you need to do this. If you don’t balance out your needs, it’ll never work between you two. You can be a good boyfriend to her most of the time—but not all the time. You’ve done everything you can to make Rome budge, but she won’t compromise. If she doesn’t want anything to do with the lifestyle, then fine. But she better expect you to get it elsewhere.”

I wasn’t sure what caused me to hold my tongue. I stared my brother down before I looked at Isabella, who was on her knees with her gaze averted like the perfect submissive she was.

My hands formed fists.

My knuckles turned white.

My breathing became sporadic.

Like a child tempted with candy, I struggled to resist.

“There’s no sex.” Jackson left the door when he realized the cogs in my mind were turning. “There’s no touching. But you get to be who you’re supposed to be. I’m doing this because I’m your brother. Rome is great, she really is. But you need more than that. If you aren’t going to give her up, then at least this will make you happy—for the long term.”

I wanted to say no and walk away. There wasn’t an obstacle in the doorway, so all I had to do was storm out. Even if Jackson was in the way, I could just knock him to the side. The only reason why I was still in that room was because I wanted to be.

And I knew that.

Jackson watched me carefully, knowing the devil deep inside me was rearing its horns and coming to life. “You aren’t doing anything wrong. You can just tell Rome you’re coming to Ruin to help me with a few things once in a while. It’s not totally a lie…in a way.” He came to my side then looked at Isabella. “You know she’s the perfect submissive. She wants to be punished. She wants you to rule her. You want it…she wants it. Just do what feels right, you know?” Like the devil, Jackson sat on my shoulder and whispered terrible things into my ear. He tried to manipulate me with his persuasiveness, understanding me better than almost anyone else. “It’s not cheating, Calloway.”

But it wasn’t right either.

My hands couldn’t stop shaking.

I wasn’t aroused, but I was still on fire. I felt the heat spread throughout my entire body, the unfulfilled need sweeping over me in a wave. Rome was my whole world, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t need more.

I did need more.

Jackson waited for me to do something, to make a decision. When he grew tired of waiting, he went to the stand of whips and floggers and searched through the inventory until he grabbed a dull gray whip sitting on the far right. He grabbed it and examined the texture of the leather in his hand, feeling the material in his fingertips. He smacked the whip gently against his hand as he tested it.

His eyes locked to mine before he walked back toward me, the whip clutched in his hand. He stopped in front of me then extended it, offering it to me.

I eyed the whip without taking it, feeling my hands shake with adrenaline. Seeing that whip tested my resolve. I wanted to whip Isabella so hard, to make up for the months that I’d been doing nothing but vanilla. My breathing grew more erratic, and I slowly felt my mind slip away, the carnal monster inside me taking control of the man underneath.

Jackson grabbed my hand and forced the whip into my fingertips.

When I felt the leather, I knew I was a goner.

I automatically squeezed it, making my knuckles turn white around it. My breath came out shaky, my chest aching when the air left my lungs. The sweat that formed on my face and my neck suddenly felt overwhelming. I wanted control, craved it with my entire being. I wanted to punish Isabella for all the things Rome wouldn’t allow me to do to her. I disintegrated into a new world, a void that was only black and full of nightmares. My compassion and humility slipped away, an arrogant bastard remaining behind.

I tested the whip in my hand then circled Isabella, coming behind her and staring at the bare skin of her back. Fury suddenly overtook me, remembering all the rage I worked so hard to repress. Violence was my craving, and I didn’t want to stop until I got it. Rome was no longer on my mind as the beast came forward. “Up.” I spoke with more authority than I’d had in the last nine months. It felt right. It felt real.

Isabella rose to a stand, her eyes still on the floor.

Jackson leaned against the wall and smiled.

I pulled my arm back then unleashed a powerful force, smacking her hard right along the back. I hit the skin and turned it blood-red, doing enough damage to the skin that it would last until morning.

And I slipped away.

Isabella cried out then moaned an instant later, feeling the pain and enjoying it at the same time.

I finally felt like myself. I finally felt like Calloway Owens—the Dom.

I truly felt alive.

So I whipped her again.