Cassie

 

At the first mention of Nikolai’s name, my curious ears perked up. I continued to wipe down the espresso machine and pretend not to listen in on Nora’s phone conversation with Spencer. I’d been dying to know more ever since Nikoli dropped his bomb five days ago, and then left for Houston. Someone had actually tamed the Russian Beast for a while. Or maybe she hadn’t and that’s why they split? But now she was dead, and there was a little boy whose world was falling apart. What would happen to him? Was Nikolai involved in his life? Was he a good father or a shitty, absentee one? Would he move back to Houston? He’d only moved up to Washington a few months ago to help Spencer open and run the new sect of Teller Corp.

I wasn’t obsessing, just, like I said, curious. I thought I had Nikolai pegged. All lone wolf. The last guy in the world who would do the wife and family thing.

“Make sure he knows if he needs anything, I’ll do whatever I can to help,” Nora was saying. “What time does their flight get in?”

Nothing juicy, so I focused on cleaning the portafilters, until a minute later I heard the word investigation leave Nora’s lips.

Investigation?

“That’s so awful. They don’t know who or why?” Nora’s eyes shifted to mine, catching me watching her a little to raptly. I looked away, even though there wasn’t much point in feigning disinterest. We both knew it was bullshit.

When she hung up with Spencer a few minutes later, I kept my back to her. I wasn’t going to ask, even though I was dying to. Nora spared me from having to. “The police are investigating the accident. It might not have been an accident.”

“What?” I turned around. “Not an accident? Like someone caused it? Someone killed her?”

“Possibly, but they’re having a hard time determining the cause since the entire vehicle went up in flames.”

“Shit,” I muttered. That was an awful way to go. “I can’t even imagine…” I shook my head. I didn’t even want to try.

“I know. Nikolai’s coming back today, and he won’t be alone. His son will be with him. I’m sure they’re both going to be having a hard time with this, so be civil please.”

“Nora, I know I can be a bitch sometimes, or all of the time around him, but I’m not completely coldhearted.”

“I know you’re not, but sometimes you use not caring as a defense mechanism. You can be a little insensitive,” she grimaced like that was the nicer of the adjectives that came to mind.

“Ouch.” That felt a bit harsh.

“Maybe you don’t even realize you do it. I’m just telling you what I’ve noticed. I think it’s a defense mechanism to keep people away, because you don’t want to let anyone get close again.”

“Thank you, Dr. Nora, but you don’t have to worry. I promise not to say anything ‘insensitive’.” I turned and snatched up my towel again.

“Cass,” Nora sighed, “I didn’t mean—”

“Don’t apologize now. It’s not like you’re wrong.” I scrubbed at the counter a little harder than necessary.

“Look, we should have a girls’ night soon. You, me, Em, Reggie. We’ll go out and have a good time. I think some fun would be good for you.”

“I don’t really have time for fun right now.”

“Cassie, all you do is come to work and go home. When was the last time you did something for fun?”

“I had to focus on school, and now I should be focusing on getting a real job, or I’m going to be a barista the rest of my life. I need to build my resume and start filling out applications.” I wiped up spilled coffee grounds and thought about how much I didn’t want to be doing this every day. Plastering a fake smile on my face for customers, serving them their coffees, and chai teas, and smoothies, while the ones who knew who I was stood there and judged me. I was just over people. The last thing I wanted to do with my evenings was go be around more of them.

“It’s one night. One night to hang out with your friends like we used to.”

“Things haven’t been like they used to be in a long time, Nora.” You got married and Em found Cam.

God, I sounded bitter even in my own head. I didn’t begrudge them their happiness, I really didn’t. No two people deserved to be happy and leave the past behind them more than those two. It was just hard to explain to them that even though they were getting on with their lives, I felt stuck. I’d graduated in June, which was a miracle in itself. The last few semesters were a struggle, but I’d thought, if I could just get to graduation, I’d be able to start the next chapter of my life. Yet, here I was, three months later, my degree in hospitality and management collecting dust, because now I couldn’t stand the thought of getting into the hotel or restaurant business and dealing with more people.

I couldn’t keep this up forever, though, no matter how much I loved having Nora for a boss. But Google had failed to turn up any plausible or promising career ideas that required zero interaction with people. Not unless I wanted to become a reclusive writer, and I didn’t. I also didn’t want to die alone with a house full of cats, but Cat Lady-ville was exactly where I was headed if I didn’t get over my trauma.

I used to be such a likeable and friendly person. I think. Maybe even too friendly when it came to the opposite sex. That’s certainly what was said about me. “Bad girl” gets mixed up with the wrong guy and nobody is surprised. I think half the reason my parents decided Florida sounded nice was because it was far, far away from the opinions here.

“I’m going to take my break now, if that’s all right,” I told Nora.

I could see there was so much more she wanted to say, but she nodded. I tossed down the rag and peeled off my apron before slipping outside for some fresh air. The sun was out, but it did nothing for the fall chill that nipped at my nose and fingers. I hugged my arms around me and leaned up against the brick building, letting my head fall back and my eyes close. I breathed in a lungful of cold air and shivered. I watched people on the street, going to and from jobs and appointments and lunch dates and whatever else consumed their days. I wondered if any of them ever felt like I did, like they were just going through the motions and it was all bullshit.

Was I having an existential crisis? Is that what this was?

One thing was certain, I was cracking.

Pink cheeked and nose dripping, I returned to the warmth of the coffee shop to finish out the last two hours of my shift. The only face I was glad to see the rest of the afternoon was Jeannine’s when she showed up to work. It meant I’d survived another day and could go home as soon as Nora finished her office work in the back. Jeannine and I made boring small talk until a couple came in. I let her take their order since she was new and still getting the hang of the register, and then I helped her make their drinks.

“Enjoy the rest of your day,” she told them as she handed over the hot coffees and we watched them head for the door just as it was being shoved open by someone else. I met a startlingly familiar pair of pale blue eyes. The owner of them was a stranger to me though, but immediately I knew who I was staring at. This strange person was tiny, with chubby, dimpled cheeks, and couldn’t be more than six or seven years old. The dark hair and blue eyes were a dead giveaway. Those were some dominant genes, but of course they would be. His genes probably bullied all the other genes until his took over. This kid could only belong to one person, though the larger version of him was nowhere in sight.

Mini Nikolai stood there, just inside the door, glancing around apprehensively, until his gaze met mine. Where the hell was his father? I offered him what I hoped was a reassuring smile, and he returned it with a timid one of his own and let the door fall shut behind him. Those dimples came out a little more and I think I might have melted on the spot. He was the first guy to get through the layers of ice and steel with just a smile since . . . well . . . since his father had that night.

Nikolai burst through the door a second later, a scowl on his face, a scowl which was directed at the little boy who’d turned to look up at his father.

“Eli, you can’t take off like that. I asked you to wait until I got off the phone.”

“I’m sorry, but I have to pee bad and you said Aunt Nora would give me a cupcake. Is that her?” He looked back over his shoulder at me. This time his smile was less timid with his father standing behind him. His face was suddenly full of confidence. It must come from knowing that nothing in the world could be scarier than his big, intimidating father. Nothing would ever touch that little boy while his dad was around. All it took was witnessing this little two second interaction between them for me to be sure of that. Fuck, this whole protective father thing only made him hotter and fiercer and . . . I shook those thoughts from my head. They were not what I needed.

“No, that’s the dragon lady who guards the cupcakes,” Nikolai grinned. The relaxed smile Eli had put on my face, hardened into a glare I shot at his father. He ignored it and looked at Eli. “Do you still need to pee?”

The kid nodded, and Nikolai pointed at the bathroom off to the right. “The bathroom is right there. Make sure you wash your hands and I’ll see if I can wrestle a cupcake away from the dragon lady for you.”

“She doesn’t look like a dragon lady to me,” he muttered softly, sparing me one more curious glance, before scurrying off to the bathroom.

Once he was out of earshot, I returned my glare to Nikolai. “Real cute.”

“Careful, always scowling like that will give you wrinkles.” He walked up to the counter.

“But it’s only you that I scowl at,” I replied in a falsely sweet voice.

He put a hand over his icy heart. “Now you’re making me feel special.”

“Don’t. You’re not.”

“It’s true,” Jeannine chimed in. “She really does scowl at everyone.”

I shot her a dirty look.

“Well you do.”

Nikolai covered a snicker.

“I can’t help it if I have resting bitch face,” I grated out.

“Pet, I think it’s only resting bitch face if you’re not doing it on purpose.”

“I’m not your pet. And shouldn’t you go check on your kid? Make sure he didn’t fall in?”

He shrugged. “He can swim.”

“Great parenting skills,” I muttered.

He ignored me. “Where’s Nora?”

“In the back.”

“And she left you in charge out here? No wonder there are hardly any customers.” He made a show of looking around the almost empty shop.

“It’s a slow time of day,” I informed him, annoyed and wondering why I was even bothering to argue.

“I’m sure it is. Can you go grab Nora for me?”

“I’ll get her,” Jeannine offered so helpfully with a bright smile.

Nikolai turned to her, a big smile on his face as well. “Thank you, sweetheart. At least someone around here is helpful.”

I rolled my eyes and tried not to gag as Jeannine swooned her way to the back. “Be careful with this one. He bites,” I warned her as she passed, not that I thought it would do much good. She was under his thrall.

“Only because you wanted me to, pet,” he retorted. “And don’t act like you didn’t like it.”

I heard Jeannine’s giggle around the corner. This playing nice thing was going to be harder than I thought. I was ready to call him every disgusting name I could think up, but he was saved by the reappearance of his too adorable kid. Is that what Nikolai had looked like as a child? If he was ever a child. I still wasn’t convinced the beast wasn’t spawned fully grown.

Ignoring Nikolai, I moved to the display case that held the cupcakes. I pulled one of the last remaining chocolate ones from the shelf and reached for a little disposable plate to set it on. Eli’s eyes were on me, or more accurately, they were fixed on the cupcake in my hand, and there was and excited light in them.

“You like chocolate?” I asked him.

He nodded emphatically, and I held it out to him. “These are the best chocolate cupcakes in the entire world. A magic cupcake fairy bakes them for us, and this is the last one today, so you’re lucky.” He reached forward, but then stopped himself and shot a near begging look up at his father, who gave a short nod, and then nothing held Eli back from the cupcake.

“Go pick a seat, kiddo,” his dad told him.

Eli did as asked. The second his butt was planted in one of the leather upholstered armchairs in the corner, he tore into the cupcake with an enthusiasm I could appreciate. He seemed like such a sweet kid. Nikolai probably didn’t have anything to do with that.

Nora appeared with Jeannine and hurried around the counter. She caught Nikolai in a hug that I could tell made him uncomfortable. Not a hugging guy that one.

“How was your guys’ flight?” she asked, releasing him.

I stole a quick glance at the clock. It was time for me to get out of here. My mind jumped to dinner and I began creating a mental shopping list for the grocery store. I wondered if I could convince Grandmama that burrito Wednesday was a good follow-up to taco Tuesday.

“What time are you out of here today?” Nikolai asked Nora.

“I’m here until close tonight. Why?”

He glanced over his shoulder at his son who was licking chocolate frosting from his fingers. Raking a rough hand through his hair, Nikolai faced Nora again. “I have to go look at that house you and Spence found for me, and hopefully sign papers. My apartment isn’t real kid friendly so I’m hoping to get us into a place as soon as possible. Then, I need to see about getting him into school next week, and a bunch of other shit I have to figure out. Just didn’t want to have to drag him along. Kid’s got to be exhausted. Hasn’t been sleeping well. He’s trying to handle all these new adjustments,” Nikolai blew out a deep breath. “He’s actually handling it all a lot better than I am. He’s a tough kid, but he can only take so much.”

“Yeah,” Nora said softly. “You’re welcome to leave him here, but I don’t know what kind of babysitter I’ll be if we get busy. I might be able to scrounge up some coloring books, or I can give him my tablet to play games on, but I don’t know how much fun it’ll be for him to sit here.”

Nikolai let out another sigh, debating Nora’s offer, and suddenly I found myself making a different one before I could stop myself. “I can watch him.”

They both looked at me. Nora like I’d grown another head and Nikolai like I’d just threatened to steal his kid.

“It was just a suggestion.”

Nora’s surprise turned to a smile. Nikolai was still scowling at me. “I don’t think so,” he said.

“Okay, sorry for trying to help.” Don’t know what came over me, but it wouldn’t happen again.

“Come on,” Nora jumped in. “Cassie’s great with kids.”

He raised a skeptical brow at her.

“She has a lot of babysitting experience, don’t you?”

I shrugged when he turned his doubtful expression on me. “Babysitting funded my high school years and bought me my first car,” I informed him. My services were widely utilized by the families at Grandmama’s church where she pimped me out. Until I got said car and newly found freedom, and then I had better things to do.

“I’ll just take him with me,” Nikolai said.

I glanced over at the kid, sympathy tugging at my heartstrings, thus proving I still had them to tug on. “Nikolai, I’m not going to take him to a bar or a strip club. We’ll just go to the park or see a movie or something. He’ll have fun, you’ll be able to take care of your errands, and I’ll return him to you in one piece, I promise. Unlike you, he’s safe from any ill intentions I may have.”

“See, that doesn’t make me trust you.”

I threw up my hands. “I like how you act as if I’m the untrustworthy one here. You’re the–”

“This isn’t getting us anywhere,” Nora butted in.

I drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Look, I’ve never lost or broke a kid. Well, except for Timmy Lee, but he was a brat, and really one out of about twenty isn’t bad.”

Nikolai’s face remained stony.

“Obviously, I’m kidding. I promise he’ll be fine. After everything he’s been through, he could probably use a day to do kid stuff.”

Nikolai glanced over at Eli again. When he looked back at me I could tell he was wavering.

“Nikolai, he’ll be fine.”

“I want you to text me everywhere you go. I need to know where you are with him at all times, and you never take your eyes off him. Got me? And no more sugar.”

“Yes, sir.”

The little furrow in his brow deepened. “I mean it.”

“I promise to follow your orders, but this means you’ll actually have to give me your number. You know, since you forgot to give it to me before you threw me out of your hotel room that night. I guess it’s a good thing I wasn’t waiting for your call.” I gave him a little smirk. I probably shouldn’t have said that, but I couldn’t resist.

Instead of responding to my dig, he just drew his wallet from his back pocket. He pulled out a few twenties and what appeared to be a black business card. He handed them to me. “Keep whatever you don’t spend, and my number is on there.”

“Don’t you want mine?”

“Already have it.”

I frowned but didn’t bother asking how he’d got my number.

“I should be done with everything by six. You plan on driving?”

“Well, yes, that is how I got to work today.”

He ignored my smartass tone. “You’ll need his booster seat. I’ll go grab it from the truck.” He left me standing there with Nora and headed for the door, making a quick stop to kneel beside Eli’s chair. He said something, pointed at me and Eli nodded. Then Nikolai stood and exited the shop, returning a minute later with a Batman booster seat.

The seat was handed off to me, along with several more stern warnings regarding Elijah and how there had better not be a scratch on him at the end of the day.

“He’s a boy. They get scratches. What do you want me to do, wrap him in bubble wrap?”

His only response was a hard stare.

“Fine, no scratches. Got it.”

Nikolai reluctantly left the shop and I plopped down in the seat beside Elijah. “So, do you like swings?”

That got me another heart melting smile and an enthusiastic nod. “They’re my favorite. I like to go so high it feels like I’m flying.”

“They’re my favorite too, and I happen to know where the best swings in the whole city are. They go so high it feels like you can kick the sky. Do you want to check them out with me?”

Judging by his eager reaction, I was pretty sure I’d just made a new friend for life. Kids were so much easier than grown-ups.