He doesn’t mean to twist the knife. But his words cause so much pain. What’s worse, he’s only loved two women who are identical, yet his heart belongs to one. And it’s not me.

It was a mistake to come here. I hoped I could change his mind because of Reed. Use his guilt against him. God, I was naïve and stupid. I’m not this person. I’m a stay-at-home mom who volunteers on PTA, bakes all day just so I can hand goodies out to everyone the next day. Sweet, loving, everyone’s best friend, volunteer of the year… that’s me.

Now, I’ve ruined everything.

Kase and Reed joke around in the living room and I gravitate toward the kitchen. Doing what I do best, baking. Searching the cabinets, I’m surprised to find a lot of the ingredients. I sigh to myself, forgetting that Ellie is probably here a lot. I wonder if she enjoys baking as much as I do? My eyes flicker to Kase’s muscular body. At least I know she doesn’t bake for him very much if she does.

“Is there a store nearby? I want to get a few things.”

Kase glances up at me with a brow cocked. “There’s a small market next door. Do you want me to run and get something?”

“No. Stay here and hang out with Reed. I’ll be right back.”

His quizzical expression stays on his face. He’s wondering if I’m coming back. Under the circumstances, running away sounds ideal, but I’d never leave Reed. He’s the one stable thing in my life. He’s always been. Knowing one thing in a world of unknowns holds a lot of power. He’s a part of me. I worked hard to build a solid life for him even though mine was broken.

It'll be hard sharing him with Kase. Another reason I wanted us to be a family. My heart aches when I imagine him around Ellie. It’s selfish of me to hope she’s decided the situation is too much and breaks up with Kase. I can see the determination in his eyes though. He won’t let that happen.

For ten months, I wondered how he had left me so easily after my accident. Piecing together the puzzle when my memory returned, I recall him coming to see me once. And then I never saw him again. It wasn’t until Wayne told me what happened—that he thought he killed his dad—and wasn’t left with a choice other than to leave, did I understand. I don’t blame him. I blame my dad. Hearing what my dad was capable of, the man who would move mountains for me, broke a piece off my heart. My heart has taken a beating lately.

The quaint small beach town is lovely. It’s not home, but it’s beautiful here. The red brick buildings rich in history, the thick greenery everywhere reminds me of home in spring after we get hit with heavy showers. I’ve never smelled salt, but the humid air is filled with it. The dark clouds out over the ocean, look turbulent yet fascinating, leaving you wanting to sit and watch the storm unfold.

It's my life.

“Good afternoon, Ellie,” the door greeter says as I walk through the automatic doors. I freeze and stare at him. His genuine grin fades. “Are you feeling okay?”

“I… I’m fine.” I want to ask if I really look like her, if he can find anything different about me. Kase can tell us apart, why can’t everyone else? I’m an intruder. It’s like déjà vu when I first lost my memory. I hated it then just as much as I hate it now. Reliving the feeling makes me sick to my stomach. I peek at his badge and say with a polite smile, “Have a good day, George.” I avoid eye contact with anyone else in the store.

Two more people greet me—Ellie—before I could get back to the apartment. I’ve abandoned any thoughts of walking down to the beach to give Kase and Reed some time alone. I can’t pretend I’m someone else. It’s not worth my sanity.

“That was quick,” Kase says, coming into the kitchen, tugging each bag open to peek inside. “Whatcha’ making? And do you need any help licking the bowl?”

“Hey! That’s my job,” Reed exclaims, coming in behind him. He jumps up and down when he sees the ingredients. “Mom! You’re making peach cobbler! Kase, wait until you try it, it’s so freakin’ good.”

“Um, watch your mouth, or you’re not getting any.”  He looks down away from my pointed glare but hides a smile.

“Actually... I’ve had it before. It’s still one of my favorites.”

I place the vanilla on the table and look up. Why am I doing this to myself? I know it’s his favorite dessert, at least it was. If I tell him it’s also Reed’s, maybe he won’t assume I did it on purpose. He doesn’t understand the need I have to make him happy.  

“It’s Reed’s, too.” I smile.

“No, it’s not,” Reed barks. I narrow my eyes at him to stop, but he keeps going. “I love your triple chocolate cheesecake.”

“Sweetie, I thought you loved my cobbler?” My words grate out between my teeth.

Way to be inconspicuous.

“I do, Mom. I love it,” he replies, his voice robotic and slightly scared.

“Great.” I turn around, ignoring the strange looks they’re both giving me and begin pouring ingredients into a bowl. If I don’t acknowledge how stupid I’m being, we can all forget this ever happened. Right? A cloud of flour erupts from the bowl due to tossing it in too fast, followed by laughter as I dust my shirt off. I twist my lips, staring at the cackling duo sitting at the bar. “Y’all think that's funny, huh?” Their heads bob in unison. The spoon clinks the steel bowl as I stir the flour, salt, and sugar together. “Hmm, I have a little too much dry ingredients,” I say right before I reach into the bowl and flick some right at their faces.

We break out in laughter when we notice Kase’s white cheeks and lips. He puffs the mixture out of his mouth, a wicked smile tugs on his lips.

“It’s time to add the wet ingredients.”

Pulling the sprayer off the faucet in front of him, he presses down the button and water sprays all over my shirt and then he turns it on Reed. Squeals and laughter ring about the apartment. By the end we’re all coated in a flour paste, the place is a mess, our cheeks all hurt from laughing so much and we just made our first family memory.

There might be a chance after all.

Two hours later, the kitchen is spotless, void of any evidence of a flour fight and we’re enjoying peach cobbler and ice cream. This day has turned out better than I ever expected.

“Can we go to the beach after we’re done?” Reed asks.

“That sounds like a great plan. You coming with us?” He looks at me with a smile.

I nod. I will go anywhere with you.

The smile plastered on my face scares me. I’m putting too much stock into a little play time. He was just having fun. It doesn’t mean he’s choosing me. He’s choosing her.

When I walk out of the bedroom, he’s answering his phone. He jerks forward off the couch, his shoulders tense and I know the call is about her. The smile I couldn’t stop before, drops off my face and disappointment from my unrealistic future sets in, again.