Garrett

After the pain I caused, I knew that I didn’t deserve to find love. I had left my lucrative career on Wall Street, fast paced playboy lifestyle, and the bottle behind. I had been back on my family’s ranch for over a decade now. Completely comfortable in my role as the fun uncle, the supportive brother and non-profit business owner. But my past mistakes still haunted me.

I did my penance every single day, but I found so much joy in running my business that even my work made me feel guilty. I founded Hope Reigns—a horse therapy program for children of recovering alcoholics. And now, everyone thought I was a great guy. A stellar model citizen.

And they wanted me to find love.

Wes, my wiser older brother told me, “You have to forgive yourself, Garrett. You must move on.”

“Never. Not after the mess I made. I can’t risk that.”

Jessica, the fiancée I had left behind, said, “You aren’t the same person you were ten years ago, Garrett. None of us are. You must forgive yourself. You can find love again.”

“Never.”

And Mama, precious Mama. In her soft gentle manner, she had told me, “Never say never, sweetheart. That’s usually when love comes to find you.”

And just when I hit my ten-year anniversary of chosen celibacy, I met Bella.

Her baby blue eyes had widened in fear the first time I helped her young son up onto the Palomino horse. A tendril of her red hair wrapped around her finger, twirling nervously. Her teeth biting into her plump pink bottom lip in the cutest way.

She was as nervous as an untamed horse, skittish even. Her uneasy nature, and earthy, natural, make-up free beauty instantly had me wanting to wrap her in my arms to protect her. Mine to tame.

And I knew I did not deserve to entertain the thought of holding her in my arms for even a moment.

As much as I wanted to make her mine, I knew I would never love again.

That still didn’t stop me from watching her fire red hair flowing down her back, thinking to myself, ‘red on top, red on bottom’?” What I wouldn’t give to find out. To pull that faded denim from her waist…

“Damn, Garrett, get ahold of yourself,” I muttered aloud, kicking at the loose Texas dirt with the toe of my worn leather boot.

But of course, just when I was trying to clean up my thoughts, she bent over, right in front of me, to pick up a penny that she had found. She had one of those upside-down heart shaped bottoms. You know the one—tiny waist, slim hips, then that curve just hits you out of nowhere—bam!

Her favorite light blue jeans went right up into the cleft of those full bottomed cheeks. How I wanted to run my fingertip down the seam of the back of those Levi’s, all the way…

“Heads up, that means it’s lucky.” She turned to me over her shoulder, flashing her dimpled smile and holding the penny out towards me.

“Lucky you,” I said, tearing my eyes away from where they shouldn’t be and flashing her what I hoped looked like a wholesome grin.

Yeah, that penny was the only one getting lucky around here. Choosing my monk like lifestyle after my sordid past, I knew it had been too long since I had been laid. I didn’t even know how to act like a normal person around Bella in those jeans.

It wasn’t just that I wanted to unzip those Levi’s, pulling them off and making her moan with delight. That was the old Garrett. He had been dead for over ten long years.

I wanted Bella. All of her. Mind, body and soul. I was in love with her.

And so, I was relieved to hear that after seeing her twice a week for months this would be her and Oliver’s last session. I could let her go and probably never see her again after today. Going back to my sexless thoughts and pure days, focused on my business and continue to make amends to my family.

Her baby blue eyes flashed at me as she interrupted my thoughts. What she said next made my heart stop beating.

“Hey, Garrett, you guys hiring?”

The words were out before I could make up a polite lie. “As a matter of fact, we are.”

Throwing that gorgeous, fiery mane over her shoulder, she held up her penny once more. “Maybe it is my lucky day, then.”

And that was when my world stopped, tilting on its axis. Changing everything as I knew it.

We were hiring. And Bella would be a perfect fit. There were currently no women working at Hope Reigns. Carrie, my brother’s wife, helped when she could, but she was teaching full time and just wasn’t available like we needed.

If she came on board, Bella Buchanan would be working directly underneath me. Damn, I mean under me. I meant—for me? You can take the playboy out of the mansion, but his mind is just never going to get clean, even if he is. Sobriety is one thing; sexuality is a whole ‘nother beast to tame.

And ever since Bella had shown her face on The Lonestar Cattle Company’s Ranch, I had found it to be an untamable monster.

Maybe there was something to be said about forgiveness, redemption, second chances. I was starting to hope so. Because I had the feeling that working beside Bella every day was going to be the breaking point for my purity.