Chapter 2 – Tyler
“Try me.”
She was looking distraught, and I don’t know why, but there was an urge inside of me to go to her, hold her and tell her that everything was going to be okay. That’s what she needed, by the looks of things. She just needed someone to hear her out and help her see that everything wasn’t as bad as it felt. I wanted to be that person for her, although I couldn’t remember a time that I’d wanted to do that for anyone else.
“I couldn’t, really, Tyler.”
“It’s my hour. That’s what you’re always telling me, and I’m more than willing to give it up. I want to hear how you’re doing, Camilla.”
I’d never called her by her first name before and it felt a little strange. I liked that it was more intimate, but I wasn’t sure how she felt about it.
The title that I gave her seemed to help her to open up. No longer was I her patient, I was her friend. That was what I wanted. Well, I wanted to be more than her friend, but I would settle for less to get in the door. It wasn’t the first time that I’d thought of Camilla in more than a doctor sort of way. She was too beautiful to be just that to me.
“Okay, Tyler. I’m going to tell you something that I haven’t ever told anyone.”
“Are you talking about that patient that you were seeing?”
Her face screwed up like she’d forgotten that she’d told me about it. “Yeah, it’s about him.”
“So did you break up with him? When we were talking in the car, you told me about him stalking you.”
“Well, I’m not one hundred percent sure, or I wasn’t then.”
“And now you are.”
Camilla nodded and put her head down. I didn’t know if it was because she couldn’t meet my gaze, but I had a feeling that it was about more than what she was saying.
“Yes, he’s stalking me, watching me right now, most likely. It’s really creeping me out.”
“So why don’t you just break up with him? I thought that was what you were planning on doing?”
That was when I finally saw the woman break in front of me. She was usually so strong, helping everyone else, but now she needed some help of her own. Camilla looked like she was going to lose it if someone didn’t help her soon. I couldn’t turn away from her, and for the first time ever, I didn’t want to. Instead of running far away when I saw a woman start to cry, I moved to her and leaned down to hug her. It wasn’t proper, but it was the right thing to do at the moment.
“It’s going to be okay, Camilla. Just tell me what’s going on.”
“He won’t let me go. I tried to tell him that it’s best that we go our separate ways.”
“Then what happened?”
“He just told me that it wasn’t like that and I didn’t have a choice. He said that I was his and if I tried to break up with him or change anything, then he was going to out me.”
“Out you?”
“I can lose my license for having a sexual relationship with a patient. It’s frowned upon… God, I can’t believe that I’m telling you all of this.”
She tried to wipe the tears from her eyes, but I stopped her and did it myself. I didn’t want the moment to go away. It was the moment that I’d been waiting for. Now it was here, and before I could stop myself, I was pulling her towards me and holding her in my arms. She felt like she was supposed to be there the whole time, and there was nothing that I could do to take that feeling away. I’d always known that there was something different, special, about her, but it was then that I really felt it. The first kiss brought not only a symphony in my ear, but pleasure to my lips.
Camilla moaned into my mouth before I swallowed up the sound and her body melted against me. I lifted her arms up to wrap around my neck and then she used the hold on me to push her body alongside mine. It felt good. She felt good, maybe too good.
I felt her small hands pushing against my chest, and though I didn’t want to stop, I did. It occurred to me what I was doing, but I didn’t want to stop. If she would just have given me a sign that I could keep going, I would have.
“Tyler, I… I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t say anything. I just thought that you needed a kiss.”
“Was that the only reason that you kissed me? Because I needed it?”
“No, I kissed you because I’ve wanted to do that for a while. I’m sorry that I did it then. I could have picked a better time, but there’s no time like now.”
She didn’t answer me, but sat back down in her chair, while I made my way to the other side of the room. I had a feeling that I’d taken it too far, but I wasn’t going to regret it. Not one bit. Nothing that got her into my arms was ever going to be regretted.
“We can’t do that again, Tyler. I have enough to worry about without getting involved in another can of worms.”
“You’re looking at this all the wrong way. I wouldn’t be like that.”
“I know, Tyler, but I just can’t. Thank you for listening to me, but I have to figure this out myself.”
“I worry about you, Camilla. You’re not as tough as you like to pretend.”
She looked off, a bittersweet smile on her face. “I know. I try to be, but ever since that shooting, I’m starting to realize that I’m not as strong as I want to be. I wish that I could just brush everything to the side like you do. I just don’t have it in me, I don’t think.”
“You don’t want to be like me, Camilla. I wish I could feel more. Most of the time I think I’m the one who’s wrong and everyone else is how it’s supposed to be. I would give anything to be a little more normal.”
She shook her head, not sure what I meant. I never talked about my sense of inadequacy with anyone, never wanted to show my vulnerability, but with Camilla it was different. I knew that she wasn’t going to judge me, and I needed that more than good advice. I wanted to give that to her as well, because it was a wonderful gift.