The tux wasn’t mine.

Just my fucking luck.

The jacket was too tight over my arms and chest. It must have been Josh’s. I figured Bryce mixed them up when he left my tux in a pile of formal wear bundled on my bar. My bartender said he was pissed when I didn’t show for the rehearsal dinner.

Except I had been there.

And I witnessed everything I needed to see.

I ripped the jacket off, but the rest of the tux fit like shit too. I’d have to fix it at the church.

If I went.

I spent all night trying to figure out what the hell to do, and every twisted thought in my head led to the same resolution.

I had to get Mandy back.

I was an idiot for leaving after she told me about the baby, and an even bigger idiot for trying to sort through this shit without her. Christ, it had only been two days since she revealed the truth to me. How the hell had she dealt with that monster of a secret for three months? Alone.

It still pissed me off that she hadn’t told me, but it didn’t matter now that the truth was out.

Mandy was mine, and I’d be damned if I sat by and let another man take her from me.

The church was packed. The wedding party had crashed inside one of the Sunday school rooms. I hauled Josh out of the clouds of hairspray and shrieking, tipsy bridesmaids attempting to fix Carmen’s melted hair extensions. He wasn’t happy about swimming in a tux two sizes too big for his scrawny ass frame.

I patted his shoulder and pointed him towards the bathroom so we could switch.

“There you are!” Bryce charged at me. “Where the fuck have you been?”

Suddenly my best friend sounded like his former, non-wedding planning self.

“Sorry,” I said. “Something came up.”

“Dude, this is my wedding. If it isn’t perfect, Lindsey is going to have my balls for the next fifty years, if she doesn’t kill me first.”

“I know. I’m here now.”

I searched over the insanity that was the staging room. Music played, panty hose ripped, wine bottles toppled. If it wasn’t for the church, I’d have thought the scene was out of one of my old parties.

I couldn’t find Mandy. That didn’t mean anything. Knowing the Prescotts, they tossed her into the rafters to light the candles with flint and steel or ordered her outside to trim the grass with a pair of manicure scissors.

“Where’s Mandy?” I asked. “I gotta talk to her.”

Bryce actually flinched. “You didn’t hear?”

“Hear what?”

“I thought she would have told you. There was a…problem earlier.”

A problem?

Oh no. My vision hazed, and my heart nearly ripped from my chest.

Something was wrong. What if I got her upset? She was stressed. What if I hurt her?

Jesus fuck, what if something happened to the baby?

The kid was so new to me, but goddamn did it feel real. I’d sulked in the middle of the night, pissed and raging after the rehearsal dinner. I didn’t know what to do, so I hopped in the car and toured Target’s baby section. I bought the cutest damned onesie I could find.

Green, cause Mandy didn’t tell me the gender. Not that it mattered. I just wanted the baby

And I wanted to raise him or her with Mandy.

My voice caught, ragged and pained. “What happened? Is she okay?”

“She had a fight with Lindsey at the salon. She’s kinda…” He apologized with a shrug. “Uninvited to the wedding.”

“What?”

“It’s been one hell of a day.” Bryce slapped my shoulder. “Thanks for showing up. We’re lining up in fifteen minutes.”

Son of a bitch.

I couldn’t stay for this. Knowing Mandy, she’d be goddamned radioactive now. I wasn’t about to let her get upset and endanger herself or the baby.

“I gotta go find her,” I said. “Sorry, Bryce.”

“Nate, no!” Bryce trembled uncontrollably. “Please, dude. Find her after the ceremony. Don’t leave or Lindsey will kill me.”

I already wasted enough time fucking with my own idiocy. I hated to dick around more, but I couldn’t screw over my best friends.

I’d call her. Make sure she was okay. Then, as soon as they said I Do, I’d be gone.

“All right. Josh and I gotta switch tuxes.” I pointed him towards the bathroom again.

“No. Stay here. Sandra has to go over the routine once the ceremony starts. You weren’t at the rehearsal. You don’t know what to do.”

I grunted. “I walk Carmen down the aisle and stand on your side of the altar. It’s not rocket science.”

“It’s a wedding. It’s worse! Change here.”

“What?”

“I swear to God, Nate—”

“Fine.” I waved him off. “Whatever. Josh, strip.”

Josh was a nervous kid who went into accounting because he didn’t like working in open spaces. I hated causing someone’s nightmare to come to life, but we didn’t have a choice. His fingers trembled just unbuttoning his coat.

Our shirts switched first. I kicked off my shoes and unbuckled the pants, but Lindsey’s shriek echoed over the church.

“Oh, no you don’t, pretty boy!”

Bryce panicked upon seeing his bride and turned away, hiding his eyes. I wasn’t lucky enough to have permission to flee.

Lindsey tripped over the layers upon layers of fluffy white lace and whatever they used to puff the wedding dresses out like old-school princesses gowns. She poked a finger in my chest then aimed south.

“Oh no. I know what you’re firing down there. Your pants stay on.”

“These…aren’t my pants.”

“Well, you’re not getting in Mandy’s anymore, so forget it.”

“Thanks…” I gritted my teeth. “But I’m trying to get in Josh’s now.”

Lindsey snorted. “Well, at least he doesn’t have a uterus. Knock yourself out before you knock someone else up.”

If my pants weren’t at my ankles, and if every bridesmaid I’d slept with wasn’t staring at the moneymaker I used to knock up the bride’s innocent little sister, I’d have let Lindsey know exactly what I thought of her damn wedding. Instead I kicked the trousers to Josh and worked on buttoning the dress shirt.

That’s when I saw the son of a bitch.

Mandy wasn’t here, but her knight-in-shining-armor dared to show his face. Granted, I couldn’t fault the best man for attending his brother’s wedding, but he had a lot of balls to confront me.

Too bad mine were bigger…and very nearly on display for the bridal party.

Rick wasn’t a classy bastard, but he thought he was witty. He glanced at my boxers and gave me a goddamned smirk.

“So who’s the lucky lady today?”

I didn’t give him the pleasure of an argument. This was only gonna get settled one way.

I reared back and swung, punching him clean on the cheek.

“Jesus fuck!” Rick howled and staggered backward.

Rick wasn’t a physical guy, but he never backed down from a fight. Today was no different. He leapt at me, pushing at my chest.

“What the hell is your problem?”

The bridesmaids all squealed a different octave of drunken harmony. Rick swiped for my jaw, but I dodged his punch.

I decked him again. “What the hell are you doing proposing to Mandy?”

Rick made the mistake of getting too close. I captured him in a headlock and rammed his back into the wall. A crucifix fell, and the wedding party shrieked. Bryce tried to peel me off his brother.

“I gave her an option!” Rick swore. “In case you didn’t!”

“Fuck you! You had no idea what I was going to do!”

“Neither did Mandy!”

Jesus. I’d put his goddamned head through the wall. We grunted, and I blocked his kick.

“I trusted you, man. When Jada hit on me, I turned her down because I knew she was your wife. But the instant Mandy gets upset, you offer to marry her? What the fuck!”

“I wanted to be there in case you didn’t take responsibility.”

The rage stiffened my spine. I launched at him, pummeling him with three more blows.

“That’s my baby!”

The bridesmaids abandoned their posts, kicked off their shoes, and rushed me with their bouquets. A nasty arrangement of roses smacked my head. They hadn’t stripped the thorns. The barbs dug into my ear and ripped. Another bridesmaid whipped my ass with her bouquet. A third bit my elbow.

Lindsey screamed at us both, an empty champagne bottle raised for the final blow on whichever one of us assholes she punished first.

A startled voice squealed from the doorway. The room silenced. Rick and I froze.

“What are you doing to each other?”

Mandy rushed between us, pushing us apart. She stared at me and Rick, her eyes wide with shock.

“Nate, what are you doing? Why are you fighting? And why aren’t you wearing pants?”

Rick shoved me away. “Don’t worry about it. We’re fine.”

We were so far from fine I couldn’t spit to reach the line he crossed. He straightened his tux and tossed me my pants.

“Nate just had a crisis of conscience,” he said.

I rushed him. “You son of a—”

Mandy stopped me with a hand to my chest. “Stop it! We’re all friends! Back off.”

My anger dissolved. Mandy wore the same hideous bridesmaid dress as the other girls, but only she filled it out right. Her silken, dark skin complimented the god-awful teal, and the soft curls of her hair fell over her shoulders and chest. She was the most beautiful woman here, but she flinched away when I reached for her.

“Don’t,” she whispered. “I can’t believe you’d hurt Rick. What’s wrong with you?”

“You know what’s wrong. We have to talk.”

“Now?”

“Yes, now.”

She shook her head. The bride stormed towards us in a cascade of taffeta.

“Now isn’t the time, Nate.”

“What are you doing here?” Lindsey pointed at her sister. “I thought…I thought you weren’t coming.”

I expected Mandy to tear up. Instead Lindsey immediately wept. She fanned her face and stomped a foot. Mandy took her hand.

“I wasn’t going to miss your wedding,” Mandy said. “Even if you didn’t want me here now, I think we’d both regret it when we’re all old and grey and cranky.”

“Speak for yourself, noodlearms.” Lindsey sniffled. “I’m already cranky.”

Mandy’s lip trembled. “I know you are, muffinbutt.”

The girls hugged, holding each other tight. Rick thought he’d get a handshake out of it from me.

I wasn’t as forgiving as noodlearms. He’d have to buy a round for me first.

Mandy pulled away from her sister. “I brought you some things.”

She reached for her purse, offering Lindsey a gold class ring from the front pocket.

“Something old,” Mandy said. “You used to wear this all the time.”

Bryce swore. “Goddamn it, Lindsey. I thought I lost that damn ring.”

Lindsey clutched it to her chest. “No. I stole it after our first anniversary. Sorry, babe.”

Bryce grabbed it from her hands, shoving it on his finger with a grumble.

“Something new.” Mandy gave an apologetic shrug as she handed her sister a red air freshener for a car rearview mirror. “I was…kinda in a hurry at the gas station.”

Lindsey tucked it into her bouquet. “It’s okay.”

Mandy offered her the picture of our sonogram. “Something borrowed. I want that back.”

“Oh…” Now she sobbed. “This is amazing.”

“And something blue.” Mandy smirked handing her a folded card. “Or…something indigo.”

The sample wedding invitation looked as hideous now as it did then, but Lindsey actually smiled.

Mandy shrugged. “I couldn’t let you get married without some luck.”

“And I couldn’t get married without my little sister.” Lindsey pulled her into a hug. “I’m sorry I yelled and banished you from my wedding.”

“I’m sorry I let you think you could banish people.”

Sandra broke up the girls, flittering between the two of them before lamenting that Mandy’s hair would have to stay down while they walked the aisle. She clapped her hands.

“We’re officially behind. Let’s move it! My baby has to get married!”

She hustled from the staging room, leading the bridal party. Damn it. I reached for Mandy, but Rick already took her arm.

Mandy didn’t look at me, and Rick’s nose still bled. She gently touched his swollen brow, repeatedly apologizing for my behavior.

Fuck. She was going to hate me.

I had to talk to her, but the music strummed from above. The church’s string quartet group began their set. We took the stairs and waited for our cues to head into the sanctuary.

My eyes never left Mandy.

I searched for her between the ruffles of teal and half-busted bouquets. She waited for her cue in silence, and she walked arm-in-arm with Rick as Maid of Honor and Best Man.

He was responsible. He was kind and caring. He might have taken excellent care of her.

But I wasn’t losing Mandy to him. I couldn’t.

She took her place beside the altar, and her eyes averted from me. My pulse beat out-of-sync to the music.

How could I have been so stupid?

The instant she’d told me about the baby, my heart split in two and grew double in size, beating for her and my unborn child. I should have stayed. She deserved better than my shock, and she deserved more than a proposal of convenience.

I never planned to settle down before, but now I couldn’t imagine a life without Mandy.

I blew my first chance, but I wouldn’t ruin the second.

If she’d take me back.

The bridal procession filled the church. The pews packed with family and friends. They stood as the wedding march strummed.

Lindsey was a hellcat, a raging bitch, and the craziest damn woman I knew, but she did look beautiful. She held her father’s arm and trembled while she walked down the aisle. Conrad hugged her before giving her arm to Bryce. She held on and whispered something in his ear.

No harsh words. No fighting.

And once Mandy pulled the ribbon with Condolences scrawled in beautiful calligraphy from Lindsey’s bouquet, we were good to go.

I hadn’t listened to one of the father’s sermons in years. Hell, I’d ducked out of the church on Easter and Christmas when Mom wasn’t watching.

I never once believed a word out of my father’s mouth…

Except when he delivered surprisingly good advice.

The last thing I wanted was to trap Mandy in a marriage because we had a child. The only thing that might have made it worse was marrying her to save face in the community. I left home specifically to avoid those types of obligations. My father had demanded I live a life of respectful piety and perfection, and he tortured me with that fate for eighteen years.

Mandy worried she’d be caught in a loveless life. I avoided the opposite. A life of fear.

My child would never feel trapped like that. Not as long as I lived.

“Dearly beloved…”

My father extended his hands over Lindsey and Bryce.

“I am honored to stand before you today, witnessing the marriage of Lindsey Prescott and Bryce Washington. I’ve had the privilege of watching this lovely couple grow from children into the beautiful adults they are today, and I am so happy they are beginning their lives together.”

I didn’t buy my father’s fake sincerity, especially when I knew what he’d say if it were me and Mandy at the altar instead.

Mandy stared at her sister, clutching both of their bouquets in trembling hands. She actually listened to Dad’s sermon on love, life, and commitment.

She believed it.

Every word.

Mandy wanted nothing more than that life of romance and devotion, a life I never thought was possible until I fell for her.

She watched, captivated.

And I imagined it was us before the altar—her eyes wide, her smile perfect, declaring her true feelings to all who would listen.

Dad rested a hand over the bride and groom’s hands. “Marriage is a gift. Most times it will be hard. Sometimes it will be painful. But, given the chance, it will become your greatest joy. Just as you’ve grown together as childhood friends, you will now explore this new world of love and commitment as partners, with all of its surprises and challenges.”

I snorted. Rick frowned at me, but I didn’t care.

I just had the biggest surprise and challenge of my life thrown at me, but there was no one I’d rather handle it with than Mandy.

Hell, I didn’t think life could throw anything crazier at me. Even if it did, I’d do everything in my power to ensure she experienced only happiness, pleasure, and love.

If that was marriage, what did I need a ring for?

“You’ll find your relationship isn’t simply an agreement between two people to live in harmony,” Dad said. “As a wife, you will comfort, guide, and support your husband—even when it is hard to trust…and harder to imagine his commitment. And, as a husband…” Dad paused for just a moment. “You will have a great responsibility. You must become more than a man.”

I looked up. My father’s glance was quick, hardly enough for Bryce or Lindsey to notice.

But I did.

And I seized a breath for whatever was coming.

“You will become a husband to a wife. A lover to a woman. Eventually a father to a child. And while those things may sound like three separate duties, you’ll find they are one. These responsibilities are what define a man, and you must demonstrate this honor to the woman you love.”

How?

It didn’t surprise me that Dad answered. He loved the sound of his own voice, but goddamn, I was glad he talked.

“How do you do this?” Dad smiled, patting their hands. “You love her. Simple as that.”

Well, fuck. I already did that.

There had to be more, right?

“Now, I understand you’ve prepared your own vows…”

Wait.

Dad stopped preaching, but it couldn’t be that simple.

My feelings for Mandy were complicated, a tangled mess of ill-intentions that created life-changing consequences for both of us.

But maybe that’s what love was?

It wasn’t Lindsey’s wailing tears as she pledged undying, forever devotion to her snuggle-buddy bear. And it wasn’t Bryce awkwardly reading a speech Lindsey must have written for him.

Love was what I felt for Mandy.

Responsibility. Desire. Protectiveness.

And if she hadn’t figured it out yet, then it’d be up to me to show her exactly the type of life we’d make together.

Lindsey and Bryce finished their vows, prayed, and listened to Mandy offer a teary reading from that same damn verse in Corinthians everyone always cited.

I was supposed to give a second reading, but I knew a better passage. I walked to the lectern without a Bible. Years of my father’s tutelage and forced Bible studies at night ended with me memorizing most of the book. The passage hadn’t made sense until now.

The church silenced for me. I looked only at Mandy.

“1 John 4:18.” I said. “There is no fear in love.”