Chapter Seven
December 18th
Willow
Deciding to meet this whole thing with Gunnar head on, I pull to a stop in front of his house. Today, I will finally make him understand that there is nothing between us and there never will be. I can’t let it happen, even though I want to more than anything in the world.
Gunnar is amazing. He’s sweet, even when he is trying to tell me what to do. The way he looks at me makes me think he is willing to give me the world. The only problem is, I’m not willing to take it. I know, the minute I take what he offers, I will open myself up for pain again. This time, I’m not sure I can handle it.
Climbing out of my car, I look around the busy yard. People are everywhere. There are a few men working on the roof and other guys bricking the side of the house, but I don’t know any of them. Finally, I see Major standing on the porch with a hammer in his hand. As soon as he notices me, he lifts a hand and shoots me a quick smile. I wave back, pasting on a fake smile, and walk in his direction.
“I’m guessing you’re looking for my brother?” he asks as he steps down from the porch and walks toward me.
Nodding, I attempt to smile at him. “Yeah, is he around?”
Pointing toward the barn, he answers, “He went out to the barn a few minutes ago. Hasn’t come back in yet.”
I look to the freshly painted barn and shake my head. It’s huge, not quite as big as my dad’s or Tucker’s, but huge just the same. What surprises me is that it is done and has been for quite a while, according to Hadley. If it was me, I would be more concerned with getting the house finished first, but I guess men have different priorities.
Before I can say anything, he comes to stop in front of me and looks into my eyes. “I like you, Willow, always have. That feeling is going to change if you hurt my brother. He’s a good man, and he doesn’t deserve to be treated like shit.”
His words are like a punch in the gut, reminding me of the way I acted. After our last night together, I ran out on Gunnar, like some kind of bar fly trying to escape a bad hookup. He was still asleep in his camper when I snuck out the door. Even worse, I scared the shit out of him by walking the three miles to my house all by myself.
When Tanya and Hadley threw a fit, telling me how worried he had been, I sent him a text letting him know I was safe but nothing more. Since then, I haven’t even taken his calls. I treated him like nothing but a piece of meat, going to bed with him then leaving. I never thought I would be that girl, but I guess I am.
“I don’t want to hurt him,” I mumble, breaking eye contact. “I’m just not ready for the kind of relationship he wants.”
“Then tell him that and walk away. Don’t keep coming back for more,” he says with a shrug. “You can’t keep dangling the carrot in front of him, giving him a bit of you, then pulling back and pretending it didn’t happen.”
Not knowing what else to say, I turn away and make my way to the barn. Major’s words keep playing in my mind, reminding me of how stupid I have been. With every step I take, thoughts of my time with Gunnar run through my mind. Every smile, every laugh, every single time he touched me. It doesn’t seem fair to make him pay for what Deacon did, but I’m just too scared to take the chance of him doing the same.
Even though I know I shouldn’t want him, I have been a miserable mess without him. It’s like a part of me is missing when he’s not around. Ever since the night I snuck out of the airstream, I have been a complete bitch to everyone, even my best friends and my dad. So much so, they all told me to come talk to Gunnar. Granted, my dad threatened he would go talk to the man himself, promising all kinds of bodily harm to the asshole who had turned his little girl into such a mess.
Reaching the barn, I shake off my thoughts and step inside. My eyes immediately go to one of the stalls, where Gunnar is leaning against the railing. He is facing away from me, one arm resting on the top rail, with his phone to his ear. I start to say something, to get his attention, but his words stop me in my tracks.
“I know I should have called before,” he says, running a hand through his hair. “A lot has been going on here.”
Before I can call out and let him know I am here, he says something else that causes my heart to break in two. “Even if I don’t call you enough, you know I love you.”
He says something else, but I don’t hear it. The only thing I can hear is the sound of my heart breaking in two. Gunnar loves someone else, not me. He has never cared for me, only wanted a piece of ass. I should have known, told myself that exact thing over and over, but I guess it never sunk in.
Even after thinking I was in love with Deacon for months, I know at that moment that I had never truly loved him. No, stupid me fell in love with Gunnar Brady, and the pain of the betrayal of that love crashes through me so hard. Reaching out, I place my hand against the barn door to keep myself upright.
For a minute or two, the buzzing in my head is so loud, I can’t make out his words. When they do come to me, I can’t quite understand what he is saying. His words make no sense, none at all. What in the world is he talking about?
“…absolutely beautiful, so damn pretty. Dark red hair and the lightest blue eyes I have ever seen, and she has the deepest dimples on each cheek,” he says with a laugh. “When she smiles, her whole face lights up. Hell, the whole world lights up. I’d give my left arm to see that smile every day.”
My heart starts beating faster when I realize he is talking about me. I don’t understand. Why in the world would he be talking about me to another woman? This can’t be right. I must be misunderstanding something.
“She’s my one,” he says, his voice louder. “I know it, down to my soul. She’s the one I’ve been waiting my whole life for.”
He’s quiet for a second before adding, “I love her. I love her more than I thought was possible, but she doesn’t feel the same way about me. I’ve got to figure out some way to convince her that she wants me just as badly.”
The hurt in his voice sends a fresh wave of pain through me, this one worse than the last. Nothing has ever hurt as much as knowing I’ve caused him to feel this way. At the same time, nothing has ever felt better than knowing he loves me, because, even with only knowing him for a short time, I know I love him with all my heart.
Tears start to fill my eyes as he goes on talking. “I can’t wait for you to meet her. When you do, you’re gonna love her, too.”
He’s talking to his mom; he’s telling his mother about me. “Oh my God.”
Gunnar swings his head in my direction. Even with only the dim light of the bar, I can see a blush staining his cheeks. I didn’t think it was possible, but he is even more attractive than he was before.
“I’ve gotta go, Mom,” he says, sounding both irritated and embarrassed. “I’ll call you back sometime tomorrow.”
Without waiting for a response, he slides his phone in his pocket and crosses his arms over his chest. He doesn’t say anything, just stands there staring at me. Considering last time we were together I ran out on him, I guess it’s my turn to talk.
“I didn’t mean to listen to your phone call, but the door was open,” I explain, a lame attempt at an apology.
“I don’t give a shit what you heard,” he says, not giving me anymore.
I wish he would give me some kind of signal, let me know if he wants me to stay or leave. I know what he said to his mother, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t pissed at me. Hell, he has every right to be angry.
Knowing I’m going to have to be the one to start this real conversation, I start off with a real apology. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snuck out the other night. I should have answered your calls, should have talked to you. Hell, there are a lot of things I should have done.”
He cocks a brow and says, “Then, why are you all the way over there. You know the only place I want you is in my arms.”
Not willing to wait a second longer, I rush over to him and jump into his arms. “I’m so stupid. I was so afraid of you hurting me, I ended up hurting you instead. I was just so afraid that I would give you my heart and you would stomp all over it.”
The words sound silly to me now, almost childish. That’s exactly what it was. I was acting like a little brat, protecting myself by punishing him. He never did anything wrong, but I made him pay for every little bit of pain Deacon caused.
He’s silent for a second before saying, “I know that guy hurt you, but I can promise you I never will.”
I want to believe him. Hell, I need to believe him. Still, there is a little part of me that is frightened. No, there is a huge part of me that is scared to death of being hurt. There’s another part, though, an even bigger part that wants to take a chance on being happy.
“How do you know that?” I ask, hoping like hell he has an answer that will wash away the doubts that are still trying to wiggle their way into my brain.
“Grandpa always said, a Brady man knows instantly who his soulmate is. He said, they feel it in their gut, all the way down to the bone. I never believed the stories. They all sounded like a bunch of shit to me. Even after it happened to Tucker and Major, I still didn’t believe it,” he states as he runs his hands up and down my back. “I’ve had my fair share of women, but I never felt more than momentary lust. I thought maybe, somehow, it had skipped me. Then, I saw you. Right away, I knew what they were all talking about. I knew, because you made me feel it, too.”
I want to say something, want to ask a million questions, but I don’t. Instead, I just stare at him and try to take in all he’s said. I’ve heard the story before. Both Tanya and Hadley have told me about the Brady men. I never believed it before, but I want to believe it now.
“How could I ever hurt the woman I love?” he asks, his voice gruff. “No one will ever hurt you again. It won’t happen, not as long as I have a breath in my body.”
“You love me?” I ask, even though I heard him tell his mom the exact same thing only moments ago.
Gunnar reaches up, tucking my hair behind my ear, before running his hand along my neck and shoulder. “I knew I loved you the moment I saw you walk into Major’s birthday party.”
Looking up at him, I decide to be cocky. “As soon as I walked in?”
“Well,” he starts with a chuckle. “Maybe it took a little longer, but I was a goner by the time you started talking to Hadley’s belly. Once I heard your voice, I knew you were mine.”
Suddenly, all my doubts fade away. Deep inside of me, I know he is telling the truth. This beautiful man loves me in a way that will never change. Even better, I feel the exact same way. Now, I just have to be brave enough to let him know.
Going to my toes, I place a kiss on his lips. “I love you, too. I may not be a Brady, but I swear I felt it the second I looked into your eyes.”