LYDIA

 

My apartment was as barren as you would have expected. The only thing I brought with me was enough clothes to last me for a few weeks before I’d have to do another wash.

I only had a little bit of time to get a dining table with a few chairs. There wasn’t much else. Amy was paying me only enough to get by.

Not that it mattered. I wasn’t entertaining any guests and I kept myself occupied with work and spending time with Sean.

Tonight, my apartment seemed more hollow than it usually was. I sat at my dining table, staring at the empty bottles of beer in front of me. The only light came from the moonlight shining in through an open window. I was alone and I had nothing to do. But I wouldn’t have had it any other way at the moment.

I took another sip of beer and heard a knock at my door.

I didn’t answer it.

Another knock was followed by a voice.

“Lydia! It’s me! Open up! I just wanna talk!”

I would have recognized Sean’s voice anywhere. It was always in my thoughts. Even in my dreams, it was there. I’d spent more time with him in Ivory than anybody else.

Another knock.

“Lydia! Please!”

Shit…

I knew he wouldn’t go away. I couldn’t avoid him either. More than anything else, there was a part of me that wanted to see him.

I wanted him to tell me everything was going to be okay.

I wanted him to tell me this wasn’t a big deal.

But I knew that we didn’t always get what we wanted.

I sighed a deep breath and worked my way up to my feet. I stumbled slightly, feeling like the ground was shifting beneath me.

I got to the lock and slid it open then creaked the door just enough to see him there peeking back at me.

“Hey… Can I come in? I need to talk to you.”

I’d never seen that kind of concern on his face before. Sean was so tough and strong. He was so sure of himself. But right now, he looked so vulnerable.

I didn’t say a word as I opened the door for him.

“Thank you.”

He stepped into the darkness of my apartment and I locked the door behind him. I collapsed back at my dining table and took another swig of beer.

Sean slowly walked up to me.

“Been drinking a lot?” he asked, examining all of the empty bottles on my table.

“Not enough,” I sighed.

Sean didn’t sit down. He just stood there on the other side of the table and stared at me.

“Back when I was working in the city, there was always something happening at work,” I started. “There was always some guy or girl talking about their problems. They’d talk about their exes. They’d talk about their bills. They’d talk about how they missed the bus. Sometimes they would talk about other coworkers.”

I laughed as I remembered what it was like.

“There was always some drama at work. It didn’t matter what restaurant I was working at. Somebody always had a problem. Sometimes it was serious. Sometimes it was petty. But it was always something…”

I finished the rest of my beer and put the empty bottle with the others.

“I wasn’t perfect. I had my bad days, too. There were times when I was at work and I just didn’t want to be there. Some days I didn’t even want to get out of bed. You ever have those kind of days, Sean?”

His eyes still locked on me and his jaw clenched, he didn’t say anything. He just nodded.

“Yeah,” I sighed. “Me, too. I had a lot of those days. Too many of them…”

I laughed again. The alcohol flowing through my blood, I was lucid enough to be aware of everything I was feeling at the moment.

“One day I woke up and I just got sick of it,” I said. “I’d lived in the city my entire life but I was fed up. Twenty-five years old and I needed a change. I thought I’d found it when I came to Ivory. I thought I’d found it when I met you.”

I look into his eyes. Even in the darkness of my apartment, he still had a way of hypnotizing me just from the way he stared at me.

“I was wrong,” I sighed.

“You weren’t wrong—”

“I saw Gina. I went to the hospital right after I got off work. It was strange. She was so pale. She was so quiet. She wasn’t moving…”

I got choked up as the image of my coworker in bed came back to me.

“…She looked dead. Her hospital bed might as well have been a casket.”

“Gina will make it. She’s a strong woman. Everything will be all right—”

“Don’t tell me everything is gonna be all right!”

I shouted at him so loud that my voice echoed off of the walls. A tear leaked down the corners of one of my eyes. A flood of emotions washed over me and I couldn’t stop it.

“Lydia—”

“I’m tired, Sean. I’m so fucking tired. I’m tired of all the drama. I picked up my entire life because I wanted to get away from it. But I just can’t get away from it. I just can’t…”

Another tear streaked down my cheek.

Sean rushed up to me and wrapped his arms around me. Feeling his embrace was so comforting. But I couldn’t stop thinking about Gina and everything else. I knew him hugging me didn’t mean anything.

“It’ll be all right,” he said. “I promise. Lydia, I’ll do anything—”

“Drugs. You said you were moving drugs. Next thing I know, Gina is in the hospital.”

Sean released me from his grip. I stood up straight, my eyes burning a hole through him.

“Do you know what happened?” I said. “Do you know who’s responsible for this?”

“…I don’t know,” he said. “It was someone trying to make the club look bad. It was probably Poison but I don’t know for sure.”

“Poison? The guy you had a run-in with at Finn’s. The guy whose brother you killed.”

“That’s right. He’s trying to get back at me.”

I looked into his eyes and shook my head. He was so handsome. He was so charming. He was everything I could have ever wanted. But I didn’t have the strength in my heart to deal with it. It was too much of a risk.

“I can’t do this,” I said. “I can’t…”

“Lydia!”

“No, I can’t. This is too much. I don’t want to deal with this.”

“You don’t have to! I’ll do it! Lydia, please!”

He moved back toward me and wrapped his arms around me. His face close to mine, his breath was on my cheek.

“Lydia…”

“Please,” I said. “Just let me go. I can’t do it. I just… I can’t… I can’t be with you if this is what it’s gonna be like. I’m not strong enough…”

I struggled to break free from his grip but it was no use. He was twice as strong as me and I was half-drunk. I pushed him away but he persisted.

“Lydia… I’ll handle this.”

“I can’t take it.”

“We have something. We have something special. I know we do. You feel it. Tell me you feel it.”

“I… I…”

I looked up into his eyes. I saw the sadness inside of him. I wanted to be there for him. I wanted to do everything I could. But that wouldn’t be enough. Not for someone like him.

“No,” I said. “I can’t—”

He cut me off by pressing his lips to mine. I pushed my hands on his chest and tried to push him away. At the same time, a sudden burning desire filled my stomach.

I was torn. Torn between the craving he pulled out of me and the common sense that told me to run away as far as I could.

“Don’t deny it,” he whispered. “Don’t deny what we have.”

“I want you, Sean. But—”

“Then don’t deny it.”

“I can’t. I can’t be with you.”

“Lydia—”

He rushed his face back to mine. His tongue swirling into my mouth pushed my senses to the brink. All reason was going out the window. I started struggling to push him away.

My hands slowly trailed up his muscled chest and wrapped around his neck.

What am I doing?

I pulled his face closer to mine to give him a deeper kiss. I sighed as I felt his mouth trailing down my neck. It felt so good. My thoughts started to drift away. The only thing I could think of was how much I wanted him.

I ran my hands through his hair and pulled his head up so I could look into his eyes.

“Make me forget,” I said. “Make me forget about everything. I just wanna feel good.”

He gave me a nod and kissed me again.

There was no fighting it at this point. The dam had burst and everything was flowing out of me.

His hands on my arms, Sean gripped me tightly and turned me around. I gasped as he bent me over my table. A few of the empty bottles of beer rolled off the table but I didn’t care.

I reached down and started undoing my jeans. As soon as they were undone, I felt his hands grip them and pull them down to my knees. My thong followed.

I turned around just long enough to see him lowering his jeans. His cock was fully erect, pulsing with life. My pussy was aching for him. A drop of my wetness leaked out of me and down my thigh.

He pushed his tip at my entrance. My body shuddered.

“Fuck me,” I gasped. “Just fuck me already.”

He plunged his cock into me, burying himself to the hilt. I reached out for the edges of the table and braced myself.

I held on tight as he started to ram his dick into me. Hard, forceful strokes like he was trying to break the table.

My mouth hung open. My eyes flickered open and closed. Stifled breaths in my throat poured out as he plowed into me.

“Fuck me,” I groaned. “Harder… Make me forget…”

He gripped his hands firm around my waist and obeyed my commands. Deep groans told me he was working hard. Thick thumps of his cock against my ass filled my barren apartment with the chorus of fucking.

I gripped the edges of the table until my knuckles turned white. My toes curled. My breath grew shorter. My knees buckled. Sean was pushing me closer and closer to the edge.

I reached down between my legs and found my swollen clit. I touched some of the drops leaking out of me and used it to stimulate my nub. I rubbed furiously until I pushed myself over the edge.

My climax slammed into me hard. My mouth opened even wider. A hundred gasps got stuck in my throat, all of them trying to get out at the same time. They all came out at once with a scream. I came against the table while Sean held me down.

He pumped his cock into me until he signaled his released with a barbaric grunt.

His body jerked. I tightened myself around his cock and milked every drop out of him. His cum filled me up, making my insides even wetter than they already were.

We came together. Losing ourselves to the passion, it was like we were the only two things that existed in the world.

But the pleasure subsided. Reality started to sink in.

My vision was blurry but I could still see. A barren apartment. Empty bottles of beer scattered on the ground. Moonlight the only thing preventing me from being surrounded by complete darkness.

I pushed myself up off of the table. Sweat dripped all over me. My hair had worked its way over my face. My legs were unsteady.

And then there was him.

He stared at me, breathing deep breaths through his nostrils. His hard cock dangling between his legs. His masculine scent filling my nose. He looked fucking amazing.

A man so handsome. So rugged. So raw. He was unlike any other man I’d ever known. But he was more trouble than I knew what to deal with.

“I have to think,” I said. “I need some time, some space. Please. I don’t know how to handle all of this. With Gina and the bakery—”

“I understand. I just… I want you to know that I’m here for you.”

I gave him a nod.

Without saying anything more, he picked himself up and left my apartment.

He gave me what I wanted. A moment of pleasure to make me forget about everything. But now that moment was over. All I could think about was everything I suddenly had to deal with.

Ivory had quickly taken its toll on me.