Prologue
It was time. Although the old woman had kept her damnable secret for eight long years, she knew she could no longer shield herself from the sin she had committed. Time had caught up with her, and she could no longer deny her body was wearing out on her. Lilliana Rose Jackson’s time on earth was nearing an end.
She knew the time had come to tell the truth.
With great difficulty the woman raised herself from her sick bed, her gnarled hands tightly gripping the massive, oak cane for support. She shuffled across the room at a slow pace, her left foot dragging behind her as she struggled to walk the short distance.
When Lilliana Rose reached the other side of the bedroom she impatiently reached into her top dresser drawer and rummaged through the contents. After a few minutes of frantic searching, her face broke into a smile as she pulled out a large, velvet scrapbook, floral stationery and a pen. A feeling of triumph surged in her heart as she clutched the precious items to her chest. They were among her most treasured possessions on earth.
She wasn’t so old and decrepit that she couldn’t handle her personal affairs herself, she mused. Too bad her family couldn’t see her now. They were all so insistent that she stay in bed and try to maintain her strength. Little did they realize that she hadn’t slept a wink in twenty-four hours. She was way too busy to sleep.
What good would it do to save her strength? She was fading fast, and wasn’t going to waste her last minutes on earth flat on her back in a sickbed. After all, she reckoned, she had all of eternity to lie on her back in a pine box. And besides, she had to put the finishing touches on her legacy.
The memories of a lifetime were right here in her scrapbook, captured in faded black and white photographs that would act as a bridge to the past for future generations. So many memories, both bitter and sweet. Her wedding day. Birthdays, first communions, graduations. Naturally, not all the memories were good ones. She couldn’t help but shudder as she relived the worst memory of all: her daddy’s cold-blooded murder by the night riders.
Sierra! The thought of her granddaughter always brought her to tears, which was annoying for a woman who prided herself on her rigid control and iron will. From the moment Sierra had been born Lilliana Rose had known the girl was special. She had come into the world like a lioness in the middle of the worst tornado in Texas history. And like a true lioness she'd let out a mighty roar to signify her arrival into this world. Like her glorious name, Sierra was unique. Best of all, she reminded her of herself: beauty, guts, determination and a brain. She was everything that Lilliana Rose had been...and more.
From the beginning she had wanted so much for her grandbaby. Too much. She had pinned too many hopes and dreams on Sierra’s future. And in one agonizing moment of weakness, she had ruthlessly crushed her spirit.
No longer able to support herself with the cane, Lilliana Rose sank into the plush, yellow armchair that was the color of vibrant buttercups. Lilliana remembered selecting the piece of furniture because she had wanted her bedroom to look like a burst of springtime all year round. Always in full bloom. Lilliana Rose settled in the armchair and gazed out of her window at the profusion of flowers that graced her garden. Tulips. Roses. Snapdragons. How she would miss her magnificent flowers and the glorious perfumed scents that wafted through her bedroom window.
Lilliana took out a sheet of stationery and smoothed the page. Her hand trembled with emotion as she began to write. She intended to put her entire heart and soul into this letter - there was so much riding on the outcome.
When Lilliana Rose finished the letter she read it aloud to herself, her voice ringing out in the stillness of the room whenever her pent up emotions rose to the surface.
My dearest Sierra,
As I sit writing this letter I know my time draws near. As much as it pains me to think I may never lay eyes on you again, I reckon it’s the truth. It’s time for me to say good-bye.
More importantly, it's time for me to fess up.
Sierra, it was a lie. A terrible, wicked lie. You may never be able to forgive me child, but please know I never meant to hurt you. It has taken me this long to realize that I did an incredibly selfish thing. I separated you from the boy you loved. Because of my lie you ran away from Texas and from everything you loved. The truth is it nearly broke my heart. Perhaps it was punishment for my wicked lie.
I reckon you're trying to figure out why I would tell you such a wicked lie. It all goes back to a time and place when I first fell in love. I was twenty years old and I fell recklessly and hopelessly in love with a man named Jock Matthews. The day Jock asked me to marry him was the happiest day of my life. I felt like the luckiest girl in Briarwood until the day Jock ran off and married someone else. Sierra, the hurt and disillusionment I felt has never truly left me. I carry it with me always. I wanted to spare you the same hurt, the same bitter disillusionment.
My darling, you must finish it for me. You must find Jock Matthews and discover why he jilted me. It’s something I should have done in order to set myself free, but I waited too long...my pride was too strong...it ran too deep. Please do this for me, Sierra, so that I may finally rest in peace.
So now you know the truth. You must realize now that there is no obstacle standing between you and your beloved Caleb. Your future is as unlimited as your heart.
All my love,
Grammy
Hot, salty tears flowed down her face as she lovingly signed the letter and licked it closed. She hoped it would be enough to gain her granddaughter’s forgiveness, as well as her understanding. It was important that Sierra understand her motivations.
She was now ready.
With a deep sigh she closed her eyes and pressed the velvet scrapbook to her breast, the precious letter to her granddaughter lying on her lap waiting for delivery. Lilliana Rose turned toward the window and gazed at the huge expanse of land that stretched for hundreds of acres as far as the eye could see. It was cold, hard and unforgiving land upon which she had carved out a lasting legacy. She had loved this land fiercely for so long, and she wanted to leave this world having just glimpsed paradise.
It was time. The good Lord was coming to carry her home.