The New Year’s Eve party was at the same frat house as the last party I went to, a fact that had me practically begging Mark to turn the car around.

“I thought you said it was at your friend Rocko’s house.”

“This is my friend Rocko’s house,” he shot back calmly.

“What if they all remember me?” I whined.

“Everyone at that party was drunk. Even if they do remember just say that they have you confused with somebody else and they’ll probably believe it. Nobody’s going to pick a fight with you. Have you seen yourself?”

I sank lower into the passenger’s seat, unconvinced.

“This is a terrible idea,” I murmured. Why did no one ever listen to me about that?

Mark parked his car out on the curb half a block away from the house; that’s how crowded the place already was, and it was barely even getting dark. Mark kept his arm casually slung across my shoulder as we went inside. The setup was much the same as it had been last time, but now instead of dancing ladies up on the TV’s, it was a live broadcast of the New Year’s festivities over in New York City. That was the annoying part about living on the west coast. You always got to see the ball drop at like ten and then you had to sit around and wait another two hours while the other half of the country partied their hearts out.

Mark expertly led me through the sea of people and into the kitchen where the smell of booze was giving me “war flashbacks.” He, thankfully, left the hard liquor alone and started rummaging around in the refrigerator instead. He pulled out a box of leftover pizza and hoisted it over his head. I had no idea why nobody was trying to stop him. Maybe they just assumed that he lived here. He didn’t look like the type, but stranger things had happened.

We left the kitchen and headed for the stairs. We had to go single file on the way up so as not to disturb the making out couples. Once we made it to the top, the landing branched out into a long hallway lined with maybe a dozen different doors. Mark stopped outside of the third one on the left and knocked.

“GO AWAY, YOU HORNY LEECHES!” shouted a nasally voice from the other side.

“It’s just me, Rocko,” Mark shouted back. “I brought you some food. And more company.”

There was a long pause and then the latch finally clicked. The door opened inward to reveal a lanky Asian man with slicked back hair with long white casts covering both of his legs. He was seated in a rickety looking wheelchair. I tried my best not to stare at it.

“Thank God,” he said, rolling out of the way so we could come in. “I thought I was going to starve up here.” Mark set down the pizza box on top of a dresser and handed Rocko a slice, which he immediately started devouring.

At the other end of the room, nestled together on top of a sloppily made bed were two girls, one with dark skin and light eyes and the other with light skin and dark eyes. They were like weird alternate universe mirror images of each other, and judging from their posture, they were also a couple. There was a small stack of unopened beers on the bed next to them, but nowhere near the size of the stockpile that was downstairs.

Mark locked the door behind him and placed a firm hand on my shoulder at the center of the room where I was awkwardly standing with my hands in my pockets.

“Everyone, this is my friend Carter,” he said. “This is Rocko, Jan, and Anissa.” He pointed to each of his friends in turn, all of whom nodded their hellos.

“Nice to meet you guys,” I said, like the dweeb that I am.

Mark went to the wall and pulled over one of those cushioned storage benches with little metallic rivets up and down the sides. He sat down on one end of it and patted the space next to him, urging me to do the same.

“So, like I was saying,” Jan, the lighter girl, continued as if we hadn’t interrupted. “The safety alarm was going off in the lab and we were all freaking out thinking we had to evacuate or something, and then Professor Dern pops up out of the chemical shower carrying a lighter that he’d been holding up to a smoke detector. I’m telling you. The man is sadistic.”

Anissa squeezed her girlfriend’s waist protectively. “At least no one was actually hurt.”

“Your stories never cease to amaze me, J,” Rocko deadpanned. “Somebody deal the next round.”

Jan handed Anissa her beer and stood up, snatching a worn deck of glossy white cards from the nightstand.

“You know how to play ‘Cards Before Humans,’ big man?” she asked, obviously referring to me.

“You just try and fill in the blanks with something funny, right?” I asked, taking the small stack that she handed me.

Jan nodded and smiled enthusiastically. “This is gonna be fun. It’s always better with more people.”

I waited until everyone had their cards in hand before looking down at my own. I was the proud owner of spicy queso dip, Russian ballet school, William Shakespeare’s left pinky toe, space hookers, and an old man wearing a backward baseball cap. There was nothing that was particularly funny out of context, but hopefully I could make them work.

Anissa drew the first black card.

“Nice guys finish blank,” she read.

I actually ended up winning with Russian ballet school, though I suspected she’d just given the point to me out of pity. We all drew new white cards and went another round. I was having way more fun than I thought I would. I ended up coming in third place after Jan and Mark. Anissa went around the room quietly collecting all of the cards and shuffling them up. I was listening to the muffled thumping of the music from downstairs as everyone else made small talk.

“So what’s your deal, Big Man?” Rocko asked me, finishing with his last slice of pizza.

“My deal?” I asked, snapping out of my trance.

“Carter’s a freshman,” Mark interjected, coming to my rescue. “He doesn’t know what his deal is yet.”

“A freshie, huh,” Jan said. “Lucky. Don’t get older, Carter. It sucks. You end up with more credit hours than you know what to do with and an abhorrent lack of jobs in your field.”

Anissa patted her on the back and took a consolatory sip of her beer. I was suddenly self-conscious of the fact that Mark and I weren’t drinking, but I didn’t say anything for fear of drawing attention to it.

The night dragged on slowly with the five of us having our own little party safe within the eye of another party. We played some more card games and watched a few funny videos on Rocko’s computer. Jan and Anissa stayed snuggled up on the bed, and eventually nodded off less than an hour before midnight, which I thought was kind of a waste.

“Should we...wake them up?” I asked.

Mark shrugged. “Nah, they look happy. Besides, they’ll wake up when the people downstairs start counting down anyway.”

I nodded and looked over at Rocko who was yawning.

“Help me out of this thing, will you?” he asked, gesturing down at his wheelchair.

Mark started to get up, but I placed a hand on his knee and went to do it myself. I had all these muscles, might as well put them to good use.

I bent down and easily scooped up Rocko in my arms. He clung onto my shoulders and giggled.

“Where do you wanna go?” I asked.

“Just put me down on the rug,” he said. “Wouldn’t wanna disturb the lovebirds by sleeping in my own damn bed.”

I did as he asked without commenting on the sarcasm and he nodded his thanks.

“I like your new boy, Mark,” he said with another yawn. “He makes me feel skinny.”

“I’m not his…” I tried to argue, but Rocko had already fallen asleep.

I turned back to Mark who looked as if he were trying really hard not to stare at my muscles. His face looked a little bit flushed, but the room was too dark to tell for sure.

“Do you wanna go outside for a bit?” he whispered, nodding toward the sliding doors that appeared to lead out to an attached rooftop balcony.

I nodded and offered Mark my hand. He stood and led the way, carefully navigating over his friend’s sleeping body. The door slid open with only the slightest of creaks and we emerged into the cool night air.

The balcony had the most breathtaking view of the water, as well as the sprawling desert mountains in the distance far beyond. The whole landscape was sprinkled throughout by houses lit up with yellow light, and other such signs of habitation. Despite the harsh patio light, I could see a small smattering of stars up in the sky. I leaned out against the black metal railing and took it all in.

“Are you having a nice time?” Mark asked.

I nodded.

“Surprisingly, yes. But I don’t get why we couldn’t have done this when there wasn’t a raging party downstairs.”

Mark was quiet for a moment. I craned my neck to look at him.

“Rocko’s been having a hard time since his accident,” Mark began. “He gets really bummed out when the other guys throw these huge parties and he can’t so much as get out of his room unless someone carries him down the stairs; which I did the first couple of times, but there wasn’t really any room for him down there with all the people crowding the floor and he just sat in the corner all night with none of the girls or guys giving him the time of day. After that I started trying to cheer him up by hanging out with him in his room. Then I roped Jan and Anissa into the cause.”

I blinked a few times. That was perhaps the sweetest thing I had ever heard.

“What kind of accident was it?” I asked.

“Drunk driver.”

“Shit.”

Mark nodded knowingly.

“Yeah, but luckily he should be able to make a full recovery. Until then, he’s stuck with this motley crew of gays.”

I raised a brow.

“How do you all know each other anyway?”

Mark grinned.

“The gay straight alliance. You can join if you want to. It looks good on resumes. Especially if you’re going for community service jobs.”

I shook my head vehemently.

“I’m definitely not ready for something like that,” I said. And I probably never would be.

Mark nodded. “I understand. It’s not for everyone, but you’re welcome there. Everyone is.”

I took a deep breath and changed the subject.

“Are you not drinking just because I’m not? Because I don’t want you to feel like you have to give that up for me. I’m good. I can even drive you home if you need me to—”

“No,” Mark interrupted. His voice sounded harsher than I’d ever heard it.

My mouth fell closed and I waited for him to elaborate. He rubbed a hand over his face and sighed.

“Did I ever tell you why I was studying drug counseling?” he asked.

I shook my head. We both knew that he hadn’t.

Mark tightened his grip on the railing and began to speak.

“Growing up, my parents were huge addicts, and having me and Shan certainly didn’t make either of them want to clean up their acts. The two of us were terrified of getting split up and put into separate foster homes, so we got really good at covering up for our parents and taking care of each other.

“When I was about sixteen I got the call that my parents had been gunned down. Apparently they screwed some bad people over to get their next fix and it hadn’t ended well. Shannon made peace with it pretty quickly though. She was younger and more resentful of our parents than I was. In a way, she was kind of relieved they were dead, but to me it felt like I was mourning the loss of parents I’d never even had, you know? It was really traumatic and awful. 

“We did end up in foster care after that, and it was about as bad as I thought it would be, but since I had a valid driver’s license, the state let me keep my dad’s car and I used it to sneak away and see Shan whenever I could. I was also working two jobs, going to school, and doing my best to become emancipated so that I could reclaim ownership of my parents’ house and become Shannon’s legal guardian, but it was all really hard and slow going. I felt so stressed and out of control that I started drinking really heavily just to take the edge off. I never got into the hard drugs like my parents, but it was still pretty bad. I did a lot of things I wasn’t proud of...but now I’ve been sober for just under five years. It’s been rough, but so rewarding. That’s why I wanted to study drug counseling so badly. I got the second chance that my parents never got to have, and I wanna give that to other people too, if I can.”

Mark wrung his hands and looked down at the city below us. I felt moisture building behind my eyes. I was in awe of this miraculous boy and the strength of his will and his ability to stay humble and kind despite his terrible childhood.

“Thank you for telling me,” I whispered.

Mark nodded and his eyes remained distant.

“Do the rest of your friends know about all of that?”

He shook his head. “I’m sure they know parts of it, but not as much as I just told you.”

“I won’t tell them,” I said, mirroring the words he’d said to me all those weeks ago.

Mark smiled at the reference, just as I hoped he would.

“Thank you,” he said.

I reached over and placed my hand on the crook of his elbow. We stood silently like that until the first of the fireworks exploded into life overhead, its shape perfectly reflected in the surface of the lake. We held onto each other and watched the sky until the near constant booms trickled down into just a few stragglers and the sounds of cheering and drunken laughter carried up to us from downstairs. Mark turned to me with newfound hope in his eyes. I leaned in slowly and then tensed up.

“It’s just us out here,” Mark reminded me, running a warm hand up and down my arm. I took a deep breath and nodded. Then I closed my eyes and went back in. Mark met me sixty percent of the way, pressing our lips together softly at first, and then harder. There were more sparks between us than there were in the sky up above.

A breathless eternity later, we finally broke apart.

“Happy New Year, Carter,” Mark said.

I ignored the sentiment and kissed him some more.