I wasn’t sure how I felt as I sat on the front steps of Zander’s house and ordered a cab with the app on my phone. Considering how late it was, I knew it would take a while for anyone to get to me, but when the app told me it would be over an hour, I tried an Uber. That was also an hour wait, and when I tried two more cab companies, I was shit out of luck.

With no transportation in sight, I decided to walk until I found a main drag.

I’d never been to this area before, and I hadn’t been paying attention as we’d driven here since all of my focus had been on Zander, but I remembered the general direction the cab had taken and headed that way.

Walking alone at night in an area I didn’t know was stupid, I knew that, but I couldn’t sit around and wait outside Zander’s door. I was restless and a little confused, and while it was true my body was still tingling from the pleasure I’d found with him, and my ass stung in a delicious way, my head wasn’t all that clear.

I’d gone home with a guy I’d met at the club while I was working. I’d told him my real name, which I never did, and I’d given into the moment and held nothing back.

None of that was normal for me, and I didn’t quite understand what had made me shift my entire personality for him, or made me feel that I could trust him.

“Get in the car, Kai.”

I jumped and turned around. I’d been so deep in thought I hadn’t heard the car pull up beside me.

“Zander?”

“It’s not safe to be walking around right now. Get in and I’ll drive you home.”

I knew he was right, and a part of me was touched he’d come to find me to make sure I was safe. The bigger part of me, however, was feeling pretty damn stupid for walking in the first place.

I walked around the car and slid in next to him.

It was a nice car, nothing fancy, but it looked sleek and taken care of. I knew next to nothing about cars, so without looking at the back bumper to see the insignia and name, I had no idea what kind it was.

“Thanks.” I did up my seatbelt and put my bag on the floor in front of me.

“Why were you walking?” he asked as he pulled back onto the street.

“It would have taken over an hour to get a car here, and I didn’t want to wait on your front step. Figured the neighbors might have called the cops on me or something,” I added lamely.

“And you didn’t think to come and tell me so I could bring you home?”

“I didn’t want to bother you.” I looked out the window of the car and sighed softly.

“Less than half an hour ago I had my dick in your ass; trust me when I say that driving you home is no bother.”

When I glanced back at him, Zander was grinning, and I found myself smiling back.

“Where am I headed?” he asked, looking back at the road.

“You know Glendale Avenue?”

“Sure.”

“I’m off Glendale and Prescott.”

“In those apartments?”

“Yeah. The first one in.”

“Okay. Just let me know if I’m taking a wrong turn or something.”

“I will. How did you know I was walking?” I asked. Last I’d seen him, he’d been naked in his room.

“You dropped this.”

He reached into the catchall of the car and pulled out the small notebook I used to keep track of everything from my class, work and show schedules to my finances.

“I found it on the floor near the front door when I went to make sure you were able to get a car. When I didn’t see you, I figured you’d taken off, and I didn’t want you out here alone.”

“Because I’m such a fragile guy, I can’t handle myself?” I couldn’t help muttering as I tucked the notebook in my bag.

“Because there are bad people out there and some of the areas around here aren’t safe for anyone.” He looked at me. “I have no doubt you can handle yourself, Kai.”

“Sorry. The defensive shit kind of sneaks up on me and comes out before I can stop it.”

“Any reason for that?”

I looked at him and saw he was giving me sidelong looks as he drove. He seemed concerned, and like he actually cared about my answer.

“I’m not the biggest guy, and I can be a little femme. I’ve spent my whole life having people assume I’m weak or need help with everything because I’m not some big masc guy.”

“I can see how that would be frustrating. I kinda get it.”

I glanced at him in surprise.

“People assume I can handle everything. I’m big and strong physically, but I’m not allowed to need help or break down.”

“That’s got to be hard. As annoying as it is to have everyone think I’m helpless, at least I can ask for help or get upset about things.”

“Something tells me you don’t ask for help often.” He gave me a pointed look.

“No, I don’t like owing people or looking weak.”

“Needing help doesn’t mean you’re weak, Kai. And anyone who helps you and then expects to be repaid is an asshole.”

“I’ve met a lot of assholes in my life.”

“Can I ask how old you are?” He glanced at me, and I suppressed a grin.

“Twenty-four.”

“Thank Christ.” He breathed out a sigh of relief, and I laughed.

“What?”

“At the club, I figured you were in your twenties since they serve, but then I realized I didn’t see you drink, so you might have been younger.”

“You’re safe. I’m old enough to vote, drink, and I’m almost past the age of shitty car insurance rates.”

Zander laughed and took a right turn. We were about ten minutes from my building.

“The barely legals don’t do it for ya?” I asked teasingly.

“What’s that saying about when the age difference gets creepy? Half your age plus seven?”

“I’ve heard that. For this not to be creepy, you’d have to be thirty-five or younger.”

“Good thing I’m the perfect age, then. I’m thirty-five.”

The grin he shot me was heated and almost leering, but it was sexy as hell, and my breath hitched as I stared back at him.

“Good thing.” I swallowed, tearing my eyes from his and looking out the windshield.

We drove the rest of the way in silence, but it wasn’t a strained silence. It was comfortable.

When we reached the cluster of small apartment buildings that made up my neighborhood, I directed him to mine and grabbed my bag as he stopped the car.

“Thanks for the drive.”

“Of course.”

I wanted to ask for his number, or if I’d see him at the club again, but I kept my mouth shut. My life was such a clusterfuck it would be stupid to want more than a hookup.

“Night, Kai.”

“Night, Zander.”

Before I could do something stupid like lean over and kiss him, I pushed the car door open and climbed out.

Zander waited until I was through the security door, and after waving as he drove off, I headed down the hallway to my apartment.

I unlocked the door as quietly as I could and crept inside. It was so late I knew my mom would be sleeping, and I didn’t want to wake her. She worked mostly evening and night shifts as well, and I tried to let her get as much sleep as she could on her off days.

I dropped my bag and clothes in my room, and I made my way to the bathroom to clean up a bit. I would have loved to take a shower, but the pipes were stupid loud. I’d have to wait until morning.

Fuck, I had an eight a.m. class tomorrow. One of the many reasons I usually didn’t work at the club on Tuesdays. Thank god, I’d stocked up on energy drinks. I was going to need a few if I was going to make it through the day without falling asleep in class.

* * * * *

“HI, SWEETIE.”

“Hey, Mom.” I trudged into the apartment and tossed my bag on our worn couch before flopping down on the middle cushion.

“You’re a bit later than usual today,” she observed as she came out of the cramped kitchen, a glass of milk and a peanut butter sandwich in her hands. “You okay? You look tired.”

She handed me the milk and sandwich and sat next to me on the couch.

“Thanks.” I took a bite of the sandwich, smiling as I discovered she’d bought crunchy peanut butter. “I had to stay late for a stupid lab I forgot about. I was not expecting to be gone this long.”

“I didn’t hear you come in last night. I thought you were only dancing one shift.”

“I was.” I took a long drink of the milk and looked over at her. “I met someone.”

“Oh?” Mom’s face lit up. “What’s his name?”

“Zander.”

“Are you going to see him again?”

“I don’t think so.” I shook my head and crammed the last half of the sandwich in my mouth.

Mom waited until I was done chewing and swallowing before giving me her best “mom” look.

“Was he not nice to you? Do I have to find this “Zander” and have a talk with him about messing with my boy?”

“Nothing like that, Mom.” I laughed and drained the last of my milk. “It’s just not the right time. He was great, really nice.”

She looked at me closely. “You’ve been saying that it’s not the right time to have someone in your life for years, Kai. I think maybe you need to stop waiting for the right time and be open to the right person.”

“I’ve got too much going on.” I shook my head. “Besides, look what I do for a living. Not exactly bring-home-to-the-folks material.”

“Kai, sweetheart. You listen to me, and you listen now.” Mom reached out and put her hand over mine. “You’re a smart, caring, compassionate and sweet man. You’ve taken care of me and everything for years. I’m sorry you had to shoulder that burden, but you need to start thinking of yourself now, and not put yourself down. There is nothing wrong with what you do, and if some guy can’t handle that, then he’s either a hypocrite or an asshole. Or both. Okay?”

“Thanks, Mom.” I squeezed her hand and tried to give her a real, or at least real-looking smile.

“I have to go to work. Promise me you’ll get some sleep tonight.”

“I promise.”

“Love you.” She leaned over and kissed my forehead.

“Love you too.”

I waited until she’d gathered up her purse and our car keys before going to the kitchen to wash and put away my dishes. When everything was clean, I went into my room and sat at my desk, pulling my notebook out of my bag as I did.

I’d deposited my tips from the club last night and had been pleasantly surprised. I’d done better than I’d thought, and we now had enough to cover our utility bills. The rent was paid, gas money for the car was put away, and we’d managed to pay for the past two weeks groceries with cash. We were actually ahead for once, and I’d be able to put extra money down on our loans after paying off our internet and phone bills.

I made a few notes in my book, carefully recording all the bills that were paid and when, and the amount of cash we’d spent. The process was a bit convoluted, and I was pretty sure most people wouldn’t be able to follow my logic, but it helped me keep track of everything.

Once that was done, I pulled out one of my textbooks and started reading over the chapter we’d been assigned as homework. The material was dry and boring, and because I was so tired, my mind kept drifting. At one point, I actually nodded off, only waking up because of that annoying free-falling feeling that happens when you’re right in that moment between sleep and being awake, and your head falls too fast.

By the time I gave up on my reading, it was almost time for my show.

I turned the lamps that were standing up against the back wall of my room on and quickly changed out of my jeans and Henley and into a pair of loose sweatpants and a T-shirt. It only took me a moment to boot up my laptop and sign into my account.

After making sure the camera I’d attached to the laptop was broadcasting and in focus, I set to making a little nest out of pillows and then lay back, pulling the computer onto my lap.

I quickly logged into my social media accounts to send out an alert that I was going live in the next five minutes. I then opened the cam site and waited.

It had taken a while to get used to seeing myself on the screen. My first instinct had always been to watch the image to see how I looked, but that meant I took my eyes off the chat, and I’d quickly learned that the more I engaged my followers, the more they tipped.

Now it was old hat to ignore myself and read the lines of text that flew by.

“Hello, kk, nice to see you, buddy. Hi, mason, power, just-in, fabguy. How are you?” I greeted my regulars as they typed their hellos to me.

“Hi, vita, jc, junior, biggy, wilson, canadaguy, mega...” I kept reading the screen names as I watched my numbers climb. I could usually get a few hundred people in my room on Wednesdays, and while most didn’t use the chat, I always made sure to answer as many of the comments as I could.

“I hope everyone is nice and comfy on this fabulous hump day.” I grinned at the camera and gave them a flirtatious wink. “For my regulars, thank you for stopping by. For any new people, the rules are simple. My room is a bit different. I don’t take requests or answer directions. I hate seeing caps lock, and rude people are a turn-off, so play nice. My moderator, levi25 is online, and if you break the rules, he’s gonna ban you. Everyone ready to start?”

I watched as a line of affirmatives appeared on the screen and put the laptop on the bed, angling it so I was framed in the shot.

My habit was to chat and engage for the first fifteen minutes, and then I would start the show. It really depended on my mood, but most of the time I gave them small tip goals to reach and rewarded them with either stripping or sexual touching. I finished the show by jerking off and would break out my dildo if I was feeling particularly horny or the tips were above average.

“So, lads and ladies, how is everyone doing?”

I watched a line of answers scroll past, waiting for a question to pop up.

“I’m sorry, annabee, I didn’t get a chance to get online last night. I was at my other job, triple x. Yes, ruggles, my dance job. I don’t know, finn, I might break out my moves one of these days. I gotta be in the mood first, though, and considering I can’t play music on here, that’s a bit hard. Yeah, I guess I could use headphones, duke, but then I’d be the only one grooving.”

I continued the chat, just answering simple questions as I watched the numbers in the room climb. I was at almost three hundred. Hopefully, tonight would be a good night for tips.

“Thank you, kk.” I smiled as the first tip showed up and rubbed my hand over my chest, slipping it under my shirt. “It’s kinda hot in here. Do you think I should take this off?”

A few more tips came in, along with a wall of yesses, so I pulled off the shirt and tossed it aside.

“I’m uncut, crackle. I’ve never taken a ruler to it, asher, but I’d guess around seven inches, maybe more if I’m really horny.”

The idea of people watching me was a turn-on. It was one of the reasons I loved dancing so much. Knowing that they were getting off watching me talk and touch myself was heady, and it made my job a whole lot easier.

I continued chatting, rubbing my hands over my skin as I made sure to thank anyone who tipped. Usually, I would have to palm my dick a few times for it to start getting hard, but tonight that wasn’t a problem.

“I was wondering if anyone would see it, texass. Good eye.” I shifted so they could see the bruise Zander had left on my hip last night. “And before you worry about little old me, I thoroughly enjoyed getting this.”

I sat back and pulled my hard dick so it was pressed against my leg before letting it go so it snapped back to pointing up straight. Sweatpants were so much easier to tease in, and I knew the tent looked impressive on screen.

“I met someone, dangerzone, and thank you for the tip. You guys want to hear the story while I touch myself? How about we get to thirty, and I’ll tell you every detail.”

I waited, watching the tip counter as I continued to play with my dick through my pants. When I hit thirty dollars, I grinned playfully. “If we can add another ten, I’ll pull it out as I tell you all the dirty details.”

The tips flowed in, and soon we were at forty bucks.

“Thank you to everyone who tipped. Here’s your prize.”

I stripped off my sweatpants and tossed them aside. The slightly upward angle of the camera made my dick look bigger than it was, and by the line of exclamations from some new names, I knew they were surprised.

I leaned back in my nest of pillows and grabbed my shaft, giving it a few lazy tugs as I grinned at the camera. “So last night I got called in for a shift at the club, and while I was dancing, I saw the hottest guy, like I can’t even tell you how gorgeous he was.” I paused and looked at the screen to see what kinds of comments were popping up.

My friend Levi always moderated my shows for me, and it would seem he had his work cut out for him today. There were a lot of rude people online who had absolutely no regard for the rules.

“Well, juniper, he’s tall, dark and handsome.” I winked and tugged my balls down to give them a little scrotum action. “I’m not giving names, bottomboy, but I’ll call him Alex. Anyway, he kept eye-fucking me the entire time I was dancing. I was so hard just from thinking about him and all the things I’d let him do to me. I swear I almost popped out of my shorts a few times. I knew I had to meet him, so after I was done with my dance shift I went out into the bar to see if he was still around. He was, and we ended up grinding and making out on the dancefloor before going back to his place.” I grinned and reached out to grab the camera so I could give them a close-up of the precum that was beading on my tip.

“He was amazing, so fucking hot.” I put the camera back on the top of the laptop. “What did he do to me, fabguy? Another ten and I’ll tell you everything.”

When the tip counter hit my goal, I recounted my night with Zander, leaving out anything that could identify him. I embellished on a few of the details, like saying he let me go down on him, and by the time I was done, my tip counter was already at seventy-five.

“You guys are generous tonight. What do you say? If you can get me up to one hundred, I’ll finger myself, which you regulars know isn’t something I offer very often. If we can reach one fifty, I’ll break out the dildo.”

I sat back, watching as the tip counter moved up, making sure to stroke my dick and run my hand over my chest as I did. When we hit one seveny, I saw a particular comment and bit my lip.

They were asking how much it would take for me to use my interactive dildo.

I’d only used it a few times in the past. It worked off sound, so all I had to do was turn on the tip chime, and the toy would start vibrating. The more they tipped, the stronger it got.

I was already past my usual max, and without breaking out something special, I couldn’t see making much more money.

“Okay, so someone has asked for the Ohmibod, and another for my ten-inch dildo. If you want to see the Ohmibod, tip now. I’ll total it up after one minute, and then we’ll do the same for the ten incher.”

My tips jumped another fifteen dollars, and when I announced the minute for the ten-inch toy, I only added three dollars to my total.

“Looks like my lovelies have spoken.” I grinned and gave the camera an air kiss. “I’ll be right back with what the people have demanded.”

As I grabbed the toy and my lube, my mind wandered to Zander.

Last night had been the hottest hookup of my life. I’d been with guys more aggressive and more eager than Zander, but it was the quiet confidence he exuded that had really affected me. Plus, there was an air of vulnerability to him that I hadn’t expected. He’d gone down on me but didn’t want me to return the favor, and he’d been so gentle after I told him I didn’t need prep. To most guys that was an invitation to shove it in and go to town, but Zander had been different. He’d been present. I’d felt like he’d really seen me and had tailored the encounter to me.

It had been amazing, and I was glad I had it to think about while I used the dildo.

I didn’t hate the toy, but I didn’t like it much either. There was something about the vibrations that just felt weird to me. The one good thing about it was that because I didn’t enjoy the sensations it took me longer to come, and when I did, it was usually a pretty big load. People loved to see a big money shot, and they seemed to make it a personal mission to make me come hard when they were essentially in control of my pleasure.

“Here we are, my old friend.” I plopped back down on my bed and held up the toy and my lube. “It’s been an age, hasn’t it?”

I glanced at the screen and watched for a question or at least a comment I could answer.

“Well, it wouldn’t be a treat if I did it all the time, chief.” I winked at the camera. “So, for those of you who don’t know what this is, it’s an interactive toy called the Ohmibod. It works off sound. So I’m going to put this in my ass and then turn the volume of my computer way up. For every tip that you give the chime will sound, and that will activate the toy. The more you tip, the louder it is, the more this thing will get me off.”

By now my dick had gone soft, so I made a point of sitting cross-legged so they wouldn’t see me flaccid. I was a grower, not a shower.

“I don’t really do hands-free, hotrod. A lot of guys can get off like that, but I have yet to discover the secret.”

A dialogue box popped up, Levi was messaging me.

Your stalker is back. I banned him again.

I nodded to the screen so Levi would know I got the message and tried to turn my attention back to the chat.

“Okay, let’s get this show on the road. I’ll tell you when it’s on, and remember, the louder the tips, the harder it will get me off.” I turned the volume all the way up on the computer so the chimes would activate the toy and gave my audience one final wink before getting into position.

I lay on my back, angling my feet away from the camera so they had a view of my body. I tugged on my dick a few times, getting it half-hard, then lubed up the toy.

Thankfully, I’d long ago learned to mask pain and make it look like pleasure, so I didn’t have to hide my face as I pushed the toy inside me. When it was in, I turned it on using an app on my phone and grabbed my dick.

“All set, my lovelies. Let’s see how fast and hard you can make me come.”

The response was instant, and a wall of tips appeared in the chat. The sound was fucking loud, and the toy went from completely still to vibrating so hard it made my toes curl, and not in a good way.

“Fuck!” I cried out, both in pain and to add a little extra flair to the show, grabbing the base of my cock as I quickly began working my foreskin.

The pain faded as I got hard, and after about thirty seconds it just felt strange.

I closed my eyes and started jerking off in earnest, but instead of thinking about the show or the dildo shoved up my ass, my mind wandered to Zander.

Instead of reliving our encounter last night, I pictured him watching my show on his phone. His hand was working his cock as he grunted and groaned in that sexy, masculine way he had last night.

Suddenly, the vibrations seemed to shift, and instead of feeling weird they felt fucking amazing. It was the perfect mix of pressure and pleasure, and I could feel my orgasm starting.

“Oh god. Fuck!” I bit my lip as my back bowed, and my legs instinctively spread. I was stroking my dick so fast and hard, my precum creating the perfect passage as I worked my foreskin.

My thighs tensed, a tingle spread throughout my lower back, and my ass clenched around the toy.

This would be the first time using it that I didn’t have to play up my reactions to give my viewers a better show.

“I’m gonna come. Fuck!”

I came with a shout, my orgasm crashing over me with enough force to momentarily knock me senseless. Ropes of cum painted my stomach and even hit my shoulder as I gave myself over to the pleasure.

Unfortunately, the toy was still inside me, and I couldn’t bask as long as I would have liked. Now that I’d come the vibrations hurt. That was one thing about using the toy on cam. People loved to keep it going even after the money shot, and while I knew other models could keep it in and keep going, sometimes even having a second orgasm, I wasn’t built that way.

I pulled the toy out and tossed it on the bed. As soon as it was out, I was able to focus on the lingering pleasure still rolling around in my body.

“Holy shit, guys.” I turned my head to the camera, still gripping my cock so they could watch it slowly soften. “Damn.”

I’d doubled my tips. This was the first time I’d ever made more than three hundred dollars, and I was at almost three-fifty.

“Thank you so much for tipping, everyone. And thanks for that amazing orgasm.” I winked and reached over to pick up the camera so I could give them a close up of the cum on my chest.

“I haven’t come like that in a long time.” I put the camera back on the laptop and used my T-shirt to clean up. When I was done, I rolled over onto my stomach and shifted to face the camera, making sure to angle myself slightly so they could see down the line of my body. I arched my back to make my ass look fuller and higher, and then rested my chin on my crossed forearms. I loved seeing other models use this pose, and I could usually get a few residual tips like this.

“Since I came so fast, it looks like we’re going to have a little extra time for some chat. Anyone want to hang out with me for a while longer?”

I watched the chat box fill with answers and smiled.

This was my favorite part of the show. The first part was the foreplay, then was the main event, and this was the time when I could just chill out and enjoy talking. There was no flirting or trying to get money out of them. It was comfortable.

I knew a lot of models didn’t bother with the chat part, and as I watched my viewers drop to less than a quarter of those who’d been in the room while I’d been playing with my dick, I smiled.

It was sad, but this was really the only time I got to relax and talk to people. At the club, I was either dancing or getting ready to dance. I kept to myself at school, only really talking to people when I had to during class or for projects, and I didn’t have any friends outside of the other dancers at the club and Levi.

I had so much shit going on I didn’t have time to meet new people, and then there was the added burden of having to tell anyone I wanted to get to know about my jobs. There was already a big enough stigma attached to being a go-go dancer, but add being a webcam model to the mix and people assumed things about me.

It was easier this way. Friends and boyfriends were a distraction, and I was too damn busy to try and navigate having either.