JACE’S FINGERS COMBED through my hair, comforting me on this unforgiving hospital bed as I relived my story once again, looking into Jessie and Sandra’s glossed-over eyes. Doctor Christianson had been right when she had instructed me to tell anyone who would listen. The more I told it, the freer I felt. The less dirty. Each time I recited some of the hellish details, it made me realize even more that none of it was my fault. I didn’t know how I had convinced myself for so long that it was, but the mind does funny things when there’s a parasite infesting it.
My friends were draped all around me, supporting me in a big love-bubble. Though my body ached all over, my heart was full. Never far away, Blake sat at the end of the bed, grazing his thumb along my toe as his whole hand enveloped my foot. That one touch lending all the support I could ever need. And now that I had my parents and friends behind me as well, everything was starting to feel like it was finally coming together.
Except for those eyes. I couldn’t get Abby’s green eyes out of my head. The hurt. The anguish. No one had heard from her, and her phone had been going straight to voicemail for hours now. I prayed she was okay.
I prayed she wasn’t with him.
“Knock, knock.” A soft tapping of a knuckle accompanied by Drew’s voice floated into the room. Victoria lingered, close on his heels.
A smile spread across my face. I hadn’t seen either of them since before the fight. “Took you long enough. Where’ve you been?” I sat up straighter.
“Someone had to handle business for you guys.” He smiled. To most, the twinkle in his eye would look happy, but I saw the distance in it. I knew him.
Jessie hopped down from the bed. “Next shift.”
“I’m almost out of here, you guys. My last CT scan looked much better. I don’t even have many beepy things anymore. I think it’s safe to head back home now. No sense in all of us waiting around here.”
“You sure?” Sandra asked, pushing her arms through her denim jacket and flipping her hair out of the back.
I nodded. “Positive. I’ll be home in a couple days, I’m sure. Don’t hold yourselves up. I have plenty of babysitters.” I rolled my eyes with a playful smirk. I loved the fact that I had so many people behind me now. Now that I had it, it was almost hard to recall how empty and alone I’d been before.
How did I survive like that for so long?
I hadn’t noticed how warm my foot felt until the heat of Blake’s hand was gone as he stood. My eyes trailed up the tense lines of his body to the hard-set of his jaw. He shoved his hands into his pockets, his sinewy muscles twitching and bunching from the restraint. Everyone else must have noticed as well because they hurried their goodbyes.
“Call us if you need anything,” Jessie threw back as they shouldered past Drew in the doorway. I could see the wheels spinning in his head as his eyes never left Blake’s movements.
Jace kissed the top of my head. “See ya, baby girl. Love.”
“Love,” I replied, out of habit. My focus was trained on the other two men in my life, knowing both well enough to know something was about to go down.
As soon as it was only us, Blake jabbed an accusatory finger at Drew. “You knew,” he squared off. “You knew it was him, and you knew he was in the house with her. This could’ve all been avoided if you’d told me. Did something.” Vibrations rang off his body like a bell. He was on the balls of his feet, ready to lurch.
Drew’s hands flew up in defense, his voice pleading as he tried to rein Blake in. “I tried, man. It wasn’t like that.”
“Tried my dick. You did nothing!” he bellowed.
Victoria flinched, the smile melting from her face with her retreating step. It sent the monitor that was still attached to me beeping in a hurried rhythm, though no one else seemed to notice.
Drew’s eyebrows met in a sharp V, hurt etched on his forehead. “She begged me. Hell, she fucking fought me in your bathroom and made me promise not to say anything!” He threw his arm out to me, even though his eyes stayed trained on Blake.
I knew he was already calculating Blake’s body language, gauging whether or not he needed to go into attack-mode, and it scared the hell out of me. There was no way I was letting the two of them fight. Enough was enough.
“Guys—”
I was quickly cut off by the growl ripping from Blake’s chest. He took a step toward Drew, causing Victoria to back up another. “I don’t give a fuck what she said. When the guy that’s been raping her is in my fucking house—with her, you tell me!” His voice ricocheted off the walls. “I shook his hand. Welcomed him into my home!”
I swung my legs off the bed as quickly as I could, my adrenaline an anesthetic to the pain. “Stop fighting!” Everyone ignored my plea as the two guys each took another step toward one another.
“Do you think I didn’t want to tell you? That I didn’t want to kill him?” Drew yelled, his face turning a bright crimson. “Me of all people. You know I’d never let anything happen to her!”
“But it did!” Blake returned. “It did happen to her, and you could’ve stopped it!” He jabbed a finger, nearly poking Drew on the chest.
“Guys!” I tried once more, my heart racing at an unbearable pace.
“How is it any different from what you did, huh? You kept her secret and silently guarded her, right? Jace, too?” The fire in Drew’s eyes and the truth in his words brought the full-flame shooting from Blake’s to a simmer. “Look, we’re all guilty of doing what we thought was best to protect her. Sometimes it’s right, and sometimes it’s wrong. You can’t crucify me for that, man.” He hung his head, the weight of his own guilt sagging his shoulders in a slump. Blake didn’t respond, just sank further into his own thoughts as his posture weakened.
Drew continued, calmer. “I watched him all night. All fucking night, even after you guys went to sleep. I relaxed a little knowing she was with you, but I never took my eyes off him. The fucker passed out in the den, and I must’ve dozed off. I tried, man. I fucking tried.”
My insides were in turmoil. Happy moments of feeling so free were slowly being tugged away by the guilt these two hung over themselves when it was all me. I was the one who had made them make the decisions that they had. Unable to take this a second longer, I slid my hand over Blake’s crumbling shoulder and squeezed. In a soft voice, I pleaded, “Please. Stop. Don’t attack each other. It’s neither of your faults, and you both know it.”
Blake’s eyes skirted to mine and then back to Drew’s feet, before drifting up to his face. He scrubbed his jaw, deflating. “Sorry, man. I didn’t mean to throw all that on you.”
“Nah, don’t apologize. It ain’t like I’m not already beating my own ass over it.” The corner of Drew’s mouth slanted up. “Anyway, I came to let you know you’re all clear. Cops took one look at the neck of the broken bottle on the floor by all that blood and took down all of our statements—that you acted in self-defense after he attacked you. Apparently, the fucker was coming after you and wasn’t going to stop at just Eva.” His eyes brightened as he took in the shock on our faces. “Just make sure your stories match.” He winked.
“Wow.” Blake exhaled. “You did that . . . for me? And I just sat here and slammed you for not being a friend.” He tugged a rough hand through his hair, then hooked his thumbs into his jeans. “I’m an ass. I’m sorry, man. I owe you. We owe you,” he corrected. “Thanks.”
“So, um . . . we good?” Drew looked hopeful, his eyebrows raising with the corners of his mouth.
“We’re good.” Blake held out his hand to shake Drew’s before pulling him in for a hug. “But you’re still not sleeping with my sister,” he added with a tilt to his lips and a side-eye.
“Blake!” Victoria cried, her cheeks blooming like a rose. “Seriously?”
Blake chuckled. “Seriously.”
Victoria rolled her eyes. “I’m ignoring you.” With her chin raised, she moved closer to me, her hand reaching out to pet the side of my head, combing her fingers through my hair. “How are you?” Her finger snagged on a knot, reminding me of its state and all that I’d been through. She winced, whispering, “Sorry.”
I waved her off, tucking that piece behind my ear. “It’s fine. I’m okay.” I edged toward my bed.
Blake began to follow when Victoria spoke once again. “Actually, Blake . . .”
Blake stopped and turned to meet his sister. She wrung her fingers together, fidgeting as though she couldn’t make herself say what she needed to. “Spit it out, Tori,” he demanded.
“Dad’s at the house.” She cringed, her eyes both apologetic and sympathetic. “I held him off as long as I could and tried to make him understand, but he wants to see you there.”
Pinpricks marched along my weakened body as a wave of anxiety rocked me to the bed, my legs turning to jelly. I wanted to be with Blake, to help him handle what was sure to come, but I knew they would never let me leave yet. The idea of him facing that man on his own and me trapped here, wondering what was happening, made me sick. Especially since it was all my fault.
Blake dropped beside me like a weight, his hand covering my knee as realization swam over his face. Neither one of us had contemplated this part. He worked his jaw, his eyes in a disturbed faraway state, no doubt formulating the words he would use. Finally, he squeezed my knee, then gave it a pat, and looked up at Drew. “Can you hang with her for a bit while I go handle things at the house?”
“Course,” Drew replied.
Blake nodded and turned to me with bright eyes. His deep swallow gave away that the confidence he was trying to exude was merely that—a show, most likely for my benefit. “I won’t be long. I’m just gonna go get this over with.”
“Blake . . .” I covered his hand with my own, unsure of what to say since I knew I was paralyzed to help him in this situation.
He pressed a warm kiss to my cheek. “Worry about the stuff you have to worry about. Don’t you think twice about this. I’m good.” He stood and rubbed his hands along his thighs.
Victoria laced arms with her brother. “I’m coming with you.”
Blake looked down at her, an appreciative smile spreading. “Thanks.”
Once they were gone, Drew dropped into the place Blake just vacated.
“So . . .” he began.
“So,” I finished.
He looked at me from the corner of his eye. “Get some good shots in?”
A smile broke across my face, and I fell into him, a relaxed calm swooping in to replace the lurking tension. “I did. I had a good teacher.” I laughed, the gloom of my reality finally lifting to let in some light. “You were right, though. The shots you don’t see coming are no joke. We’ll have to work a little more on those.” I rubbed the side of my head.
Before the overlying weight could return to the conversation, another white-coat entered the room, pushing a wheelchair. It came to a stop beside my bed. “Time for another CT scan.”
“Fun times.” I winked, slipping into the chair. “We’ll catch up later,” I called to Drew.
“Later, Sunshine,” he replied with a wink.
The hall was a flurry of activity. Beeping things, nurse-call voices, phones, people pushing patients, rolling blood pressure cuffs, wheeling gurneys. My mode of transportation created a soft breeze along my bare arms, brushing along my cheeks and rustling my hair. I took it all in, feeling a little ashamed that I kept peeking into the passing rooms, but unable to stop myself all the same. My eyes roamed, ping-ponging from each door until one room stopped them cold.
An image of someone else being helped into a wheelchair whisked by, a familiarity to his physique that I would never forget.
My psyche had been programmed to remember.
Although the breeze persisted and the swift glide beneath me continued to roll, my heart seemed to drop like a weight into my lap. A murmured lull hung on the dryness coating my tongue.
He’s so close.