Three minutes feels like an eternity. My hands rest on the bathroom sink as I wait for the buzzer to go off on my phone. With shaky hands and my heart in my throat, I turn over the plastic stick.

“Well?” Stephanie asks from the other side of the bathroom door.

I read the word flashing on the screen. My brain can’t comprehend it.

Pregnant.

I read it over and over again.

“Leslie, you’re killing me here.” Stephanie’s voice is impatient as she bangs on the door.

Pregnant. I read it again and this time it all clicks. I’m fucking pregnant.

“Fuck,” I say.

“Oh, shit,” I hear her whisper.

I glance in the mirror and look down at my belly. How the hell will I explain this one? Gently, my hands rub along my flat tummy. This can’t be happening.

I open the door.

Stephanie’s wide blue eyes are staring at mine. “Baby?” she asks and bites her lower lip.

I nod and lift the stick for her to see. “Yep.” I lean on the doorframe. “What do I do now?” I ask and my eyes well up with tears.

“It’s okay. It will be okay.” She rests her hands on my shoulders and gives me a reassuring smile. “Sometimes these things are wrong.”

“I’ve heard of false negatives, not false positives.”

Stephanie nods and purses her lips. “If you want to know for sure, you’ll need to do blood work. You can go to my mom; she’s still practicing obstetrics.”

“I’m not going to see your Mom!” I complain.

“Think about it. I can call her right now and she’ll meet us at the office. They’re closed today so no one will be there. We can go through the back entrance and no one in town will find out about it.” Her voice trails behind me as I sit on my bed.” She can do blood work and you’ll know for certain what you’re dealing with.”

“Fuck it.” I throw my hands up in defeat. “Let’s yank the Band-Aid.”

* * *

Within an hour, Stephanie and I are across town walking into her mother’s OBGYN medical office. The light green walls and dark green carpet smell of antiseptic and latex gloves. My heart races with each step we take further into the office.

“Mom?” Stephanie calls out when we reach the hallway that has exam rooms on either side.

“In here,” she shouts.

Stephanie and I make our way into Dr. Carey’s office. “Leslie.” She stands and smiles up at me. “It’s so nice to see you.” She walks around her mahogany table to give me a hug.

“I wish it were under better circumstances,” I say when she lets go.

“It’s fine.” She guides us to sit. “So, Stephanie said you tested positive on an over-the-counter test and you’d like to get blood work done?”

I swallow the golf ball lodged in my throat and nod. “Yes.”

“When was your last menstrual cycle?” she asks as she pulls out a circular graph.

My lips pucker as I find the courage to speak. “Um . . . March twenty-fourth, I believe. It was definitely after St. Patrick’s Day.”

“And have you been sexually active?”

I nod. “I’m on LoEstrin, but I’ve been busy and I skipped a day or two.”

Mrs. Carey sets the graph down and folds her hands. “Unfortunately, LoEstrin is only ninety-one percent effective when taken regularly. The estrogen and progestin, the two hormones that prevent pregnancy, are very low, which means your ovaries can still ovulate.”

“Great,” I say sarcastically.

“According to my calculation, you’re about five weeks. We can do a blood test if you like. The blood does take a few days, but since your urine test was positive we can do an ultrasound to see if I can see anything. It’s very early and we probably will not get a heartbeat, but I’ll be able to tell exactly how far along you are.”

I glance over at Stephanie who is sitting next to me, and then back to Mrs. Carey. “Okay.”

“I’ll wait for you in here.” Stephanie says and gives me a reassuring smile.

Mrs. Carey leads me to the lab room in the back. My feet twitch as I sit on the blue leather chair. Mrs. Carey ties a rubber band around my bicep and instructs me to make a fist. The pinch of the needle is painless and I watch with amazement as the blood seeps out of my body and into the vial.

When she discards the needle and fastens a Band-Aid over the blood dotting my skin, she smiles up at me. “Come on.” She places her hand on my shoulder and leads me toward an exam room. “Let’s see how far along you are.”

She leads me into an exam room, provides me with a gown, and instructs me to undress. Moments later she returns and I’m sitting on the exam table with both of my feet up in the stirrups. She dims the light and explains that she will be doing a trans-vaginal ultrasound. I lay my head back and close my eyes during entire thing. I don’t want to look at the screen. I don’t want to see that there is a little tiny baby inside of me.

“There.” Mrs. Carey says and I force myself to look up. Her hand is tapping the black screen and I squint to make out what she’s pointing at. “This black circle is the gestational sac and this little tiny spot right there.” She points to the screen. “That is the embryo.”

My eyes well with tears. Tears of happiness, fear, and most of all, love. The little tiny spec on the screen was made by me and Ethan. “Wow.” I say and brush my hands under my eyes.

“By the size, it looks like you are just shy of six weeks. Still very, very early. And still hard to detect” Mrs. Carey says and turns on the lights and turns off the ultra sound. “Leslie, the state of Arizona requires a woman must receive state-directed counseling that includes information designed to discourage her from having an abortion, and then you must wait twenty-four hours before the procedure.”

“No.” I shake my head. “I would never be able to have an abortion. Not when it’s something that was made out of love.”

“Okay. I just want you to know all your rights before you make any decision.”

“Thank you.” I sit up and place my hand on my flat belly.

“Now, it’s still very early, but I’d like to see you again in two weeks for a full screening. Then we can start your prenatal visits.” She hands me a list of foods I should avoid along with a script for prenatal vitamins.” I want you to start taking these right away.

I nod, unable to speak as my heart is filled with emotion. “Thank you again, Mrs. Carey. I really appreciate it.”

Once she leaves the room, I sit back on the exam chair and hold my stomach. Excitement fills me and I laugh. Instantly, I’m filled with love. I have no idea what this means for me and Ethan, but I know I want this child more than anything.