“The next time we go to dinner, I think you should let me pick the restaurant,” Ashley says to me. “I definitely think I’ll pick better than what you picked today.”

I roll my eyes as we get out of the limo. See, it wasn’t a bad date, per se. We went to an Italian place in the East Village that was supposed to be all the rage in New York City. At least that’s what I was told.

“How was I supposed to know that it was a front for the mob?” I ask Ashley as the doorman holds open the door to Clarendon Tower. “Everything I heard about it was good. Good food. Good wine. Great atmosphere.”

“The cops came in half way through and arrested the owner,” Ashley responds back, not letting me off the hook. “Maybe next time don’t take dining advice from your ex-Mafia enforcer bodyguard.”

She’s got a point. Marco, my bodyguard had recommended the place to me when I asked him where I could possibly take Ashley on our date.

“But then again, Marco recommended the ice cream place on 87^th Street,” I remind her. Ashley smiles. She remembers the day I popped into her law offices and told her to take a walk down Second Avenue with me. When she asked me why, I told her it was to go get ice cream.

If you’re brand new to the Nights In New York series, then allow me a second to introduce myself.

My name is Taylor John. I am the CEO of the largest investment bank in the world, Draper Pierce. I have 200,000 financial professionals who report to me. Brokers. Investment bankers. Private equity bankers. Human Resources “professionals”. Executive Assistants. Retail bankers. Security guards. Cafeteria employees. Hookers. You name it.

Draper Pierce operates in over 52 different countries and posts revenue in excess of $5.2 billion dollars each year. Our profit margin stands close to $2 billion dollars. We’re respected and feared on Wall Street and there I am—at the helm of the ship, leading the charge.

Of course I got the lifestyle to match. Hell, baby, I’m a billionaire. I live a lavish lifestyle filled with fancy toys, fast cars, and beautiful women.

But more and more lately, there have been fewer beautiful women because only one has occupied my thoughts.

Ashley Carlson.

I first met Ashley through my friends Daphne and Dominic. That wasn’t long ago when my friend Malcolm was being accused of stealing a priceless painting. See it was a big thing that—

You know what? I’m not going to give spoilers about Malcolm or Sonia and her “sticky fingers”.

Besides, this book isn’t even about me. I mean the only reason I’m here talking to you is because Ashley and I got back from a real date. Usually we just get ice cream or a drink or we’re doing something with other people and we haven’t really ever gotten a chance to hang out and get to know each other.

Because I swear, this girl might have girlfriend potential. Of course, we’re still dating casually. Ashley is a high-powered attorney with her own practice and I’m a globetrotting CEO of the largest investment bank in the world. We may be wealthy with money, but we’re poor with time. And so getting the chance to be together is priceless.

So yeah, no way is this book about me. In fact, I have no idea who this book is about. But if I had to take a guess, it would be someone who lives in Clarendon Tower because I mean come on, that’s the name of the series, you know?

“Taylor,” Ashley says quietly as we walk into the lobby. I look at her. She’s wearing a shimmering silver wraparound dress and I have my hand around her waist. She’s slender and fragile when standing next to my 6-foot 2-inch Greek God body. I’m going to pull her closer and kiss her. And then she’s going to nuzzle me and I’m going to grab her ass and bite her ear.

This date isn’t over till I fuck the living daylights out of her.

“Taylor,” Ashley says again and I can see in her twinkling eyes that she knows I’ve been daydreaming about what she looks like naked. Well, no fucking surprise there. We’ve been dancing around the fires of attraction for too long.

“Yeah, baby?” I ask her but she’s silent. All she does is point straight ahead.

The labyrinthine lobby is empty right now. The doorman is outside. And all the residents are either all out or have gone home for the night. Even the bar on the far right corner of the lobby is empty. Some of the lights are turned low.

“Look,” she whispers to me and I squint my eyes to see what’s she’s looking for.

We get a little closer and then I see it.

Is that?

Holy fucking shit.

Behind some faux-Greek pillars I see the strangest thing I’ve ever seen in Clarendon Tower (and I’ve seen a lot of shit, let me tell you).

It’s Jeremiah Hoody. Our Condo Board President.

Except he’s naked with the exception of a diaper. And a giant man in a black hood is spanking him with a paddle. I have to squint but I think I see the word “SLUT” written on the paddle.

Taking Ashley’s hand, I get a little closer and that’s when I hear them.

“Oh yeah, Ornesto, give it to me,” Jeremiah pleads. “Give it to MEEEEEE!”

I stifle a chuckle as the giant hooded man I’m guessing is Ornesto brings the paddle down, smacking Jeremiah on the ass.

Ashley is trying her best to control her laughter. I can’t believe my eyes.

“This is insane,” she whispers and I nod in agreement.

“We should go,” she volunteers and I’m about to agree to that too, but then something holds me back.

“No,” I say to her, as we draw back into the lobby away from the happy couple. “We shouldn’t.”

“What?” Ashley asks with surprise. “Why?”

“Think about it, baby,” I say to her. “Jeremiah has been nothing but a giant pain in the ass ever since he became Condo Board President.

Ashley pauses for a second to consider. I know she knows I’m right. Ever since Jeremiah became President after the last Condo Board President, Seymour Cooper, he’s been insufferable. I won’t go into what happened to Seymour because it’s part of the series, but Jeremiah seems determined to one up him in assholery.

I don’t know. It’s something about the position maybe. Some people just get the power and go crazy. I mean I don’t even know what they’re in charge of.

“I’m serious, Ash,” I tell her. “This is the guy that is proposing that each resident in Clarendon Tower sign a morality clause that they won’t engage in deviant sexual behavior within the walls of the building, remember?”

Ashley nods. “I don’t really engage in much deviant sexual behavior, but I’d like to keep the option open for sure,” she says to me with a wink.

I laugh silently. “I mean, getting spanked in a diaper is pretty fucking deviant too, no?” I ask her and she nods.

“Why does he get the double fucking standard?” I ask her and she looks at me.

“What you got in mind?” she asks.

I smile. This is going to be fun.

I take her hand and pull her to the far end of the lobby away from where Jeremiah is. I know exactly what I’m going to do.

And as I pull the fire alarm, I do it.

The ringing goes through Clarendon Tower, alerting residents to fire.

A few things happen.

The doormen rush back in. Because I know where to look, I keep a close look out at Jeremiah and his hooded friend.

“Oh no, Ornesto!” I hear Jeremiah say. “What are we going to do?”

Ornesto doesn’t respond. The doormen have cut off their escape from where they are. They can’t take the elevators because the fire alarm disables them from going up. So trying to be discreet, they run to the stairs.

But Jeremiah stops mid-run as he sees me and Ashley. His face turns into a grimace and he freezes.

Wrong move, pal.

Because the doors to the stairwell burst open at that point and residents start coming down to see what the commotion is.

And guess what they come face to face with?

Yup.

Jeremiah Hoody in a diaper. Holding hands with a giant hooded man who is wearing black spandex briefs.

“What the fuck?” one of the residents says as he lays eyes on Jeremiah.

Our fearless Condo Board President—what does he do?

He begins to mewl and pisses himself.

Well, good thing he was wearing a diaper I guess. Although it looks like it doesn’t have proper absorptive functions.

I turn to Ashley.

“Looks like another Condo Board President bites the dust, baby,” I say to her.

She smirks.

“That’s another open apartment in this building, Taylor,” she says. “That’s three large condos that are now on the market. Probably going to be a central feature to this book.”

Yup.

That’s probably it. But listen, if that sounds too boring too you—what to do with three apartments, don’t fret, baby. Give it a chance, and I promise you that you won’t be disappointed. In fact, grab a glass of wine while you’re at it. Put the kids to bed and settle in.

I guarantee you. You will be entertained.

And now it’s time for the show.