Two.

That’s how many weeks have passed since the sofa competition. I wasn’t expecting it to be such a close race by now, but here we are—30 to 30. Everything can happen at this time, and only God knows which one of us will win the contract.

I never expected it, but there’s no use in hiding it from you: every single day I’ve been thinking non-stop of what’s going to happen when the competition comes to an end. I want to win, but at the same time...I can’t help but feel guilty about it. It’s hard to keep going full-steam ahead while knowing that my goal is to make Austin lose.

It was all fun and games when we started this, but it’s different now. Somehow, I’ve come to care about him. I know how hard he’s always worked for Oakmont, turning his company around when every debtor of his was ready to pillage every last dollar in his name. And I know how important this deal is to him—in a way, I know he wants it to be a winning chapter in his family’s history, the final proof of everything he did for a business that has been part of the Randall’s for decades.

One hundred.

That’s how many hours I’m putting in each week. Sounds crazy? Well, that’s because it is. No sane person would ever work this many hours, but some among of you will nod their heads. You know that sanity and ambition don’t go hand in hand that often, don’t you? When you want to make the impossible happen, sometimes you have to be willing to go a little insane.

Every day I meet with suppliers, designers, distributors, marketers and many, many more people working for or with Domina—a small army I’m responsible for. And every day I crack the whip, trying to keep everyone on the same page while we push ahead, trying to propel Domina to new heights.

It’s hard.

In fact, it’s the hardest thing I think we’ve ever done. But at the same time, I never saw my employees this excited about anything. They believe in what they’re doing, and they want to make it happen just as badly as I do.

Just as it is for me, they don’t see this as a job.

They see it as a mission.

And, damn, I’ve never been so proud of these people. They’re sacrificing all their time just to make sure we win the Clarendon competition, putting their hearts and souls into their work.

If we win, you can be sure there’ll be a fat bonus for everyone involved.

Six.

That’s how many times Ashley has insisted on calling me throughout the day, every day. And, as frustrating as it might be some days, I actually feel happy whenever I see her name on my phone’s screen. You know what I’m talking about, right? Nothing beats fifteen minutes of gossip, especially when you’re under a lot of pressure.

Hey, anything that helps a girl to unwind.

I know that six times might be a bit too much but that’s Ashley for you. Whenever she has anything she wants to tell me, she just grabs her phone and keeps waiting till I pick the damn thing up.

Every time. Without failing.

Mostly, it’s all about that little thing she has going on with Taylor. She still doesn’t want to say it out loud, but it’s as plain as the sky is blue—these two are head over heels. They spend all their time together, and you just have to take one close look at the way they smile toward each other to know that it’s love.

It’s hilarious, really.

Ashley had always prided herself in the fact that she didn’t need a man, and now here she is, completely crazy about one that always had quite the reputation.

Of course, Taylor isn’t the only topic of discussion.

Every time she calls, she wants to hear about Austin.

And I bet you do too.

Seven.

That’s how many dates Austin and I have gone on.

As weird as it may sound, I’ve never really been the kind of woman that enjoys going out for dates. Sure, I’ve tried it in the past. Thing is, most men are boring, and only have one thing in their minds. Yeah, I don’t need to tell you what that one thing is, do I?

I appreciate being the center of attention, as well as being desired. Every woman enjoys that, if we’re being honest with ourselves. But you don’t need to go out on dates to have any of that, do you?

But with Austin…

It’s hard to explain, but with him it feels right. It isn’t just about the sex. There’s a connection there, and I know that he can feel it too. Maybe it’s because we’re both two ambitious persons, or maybe it’s because we’ve worked in the same industry for so long. Or maybe it’s something else entirely.

I can’t really say.

What I can say, though, is that I’ve never been so sure of that connection. When I’m with him, doesn’t really matter where, it feels as if that’s exactly the right place to be.

Twenty.

That’s how many times we’ve had sex. Probably more, now that I think of it. I haven’t exactly kept a spreadsheet, you know? Sure, I know I just told you that it really isn’t about the sex, and now here I am telling you that we’ve fucked more than twice per day.

Every day.

But I think that’s part of it, you know? When the sex is this great, it frees up the space for something else to blossom. When the connection our bodies share is this strong, it only makes sense that both our minds will follow suit.

And, yeah, the sex is amazing.

As it has always been.

I don’t think there’s a single room in both our apartments that we haven’t done it in. Just try not to think of what we’ve done in my kitchen counter if you ever drop by for lunch, alright? Just try and pretend you’re not uncomfortable, and I’ll do the same.

Five.

That’s how many times I’ve had breakfast with him. It might seem like a small thing, but it isn’t. To sleep next to him, our bodies exhausted, and then feel his warmth against my skin the moment I open my eyes...is there anything better than that?

Even though I’ve been working long hours, I can never resist it. If I have the chance to sleep with him—and then share breakfast as we see the sun rise on the horizon, then I’m taking it.

Getting this contract might be the most important thing in the world right now, but at the same time, now that I found Austin...there’s no way I can give up on everything we have.

I won’t do it. I can’t do it.

And that because...

One.

I have one certainty. Austin and I are meant to be.

It’s silly, yes, and it’s hard to describe.

But I’ll try.

See, I’ve never been the kind of woman to lose her cool, or to follow her heart, but with Austin...it’s hard not to.

Every time we’re together, I feel whole.

For the first time in my life, I don’t feel as if I have to prove anything to anyone. I can just be myself. All I need is to be around him, to feel his fingers laced on mine, his lips diving straight toward my mouth...and his body, pressed tight against mine. That’s all I need to feel whole.

But that’s what my heart says.

My mind tells a different story.

Two.

There are two opposing sides battling it out inside me right now.

There’s love, and then there’s...fear.

In the end, Austin and I are enemies on the battleground, and we’ll still have to face each other when the final day of the competition arrives. And, really, am I willing to give up on everything I’ve ever dreamed about just because my heart tells me to? I’ve never been stupid enough to think with my heart, and I’m not about to start now.

Even though I love him—because, let’s be real, that’s what this is—I can’t stop myself from being the same old me. The ambitious, ruthless Tess Armstrong that somehow made it when no one else could.

I won’t give up on all that just because of a man. But, at the same time, I don’t know if I’m ready for that.

The only thing I’m sure of, is that I’ve fallen in love.

And I’ve fallen hard.