My head hurts, but I’m on a cloud, I swear it’s a cloud, it’s that soft. Stretching out, my feet rub against the softest piece of material I’ve ever felt. Then I remember where I am. Springing up to look around, I walk straight to the door. I pull it to make sure I’m not locked in. Then I hear her voice, and my body locks tight.

Did he tell her I was here?

Why is she here?

Creeping out, I notice I’m on the second floor of his house, and as I look down over the balustrade, the front door is open. Outside, standing on the step is a shirtless Taj, and standing in front of him is Syler and Toska. Walking down the stairs, I grab the closest thing for protection which is an umbrella so I can see them more clearly.

Syler straightens. Toska smirks when she sees me. Taj curses.

“Why the fuck are you wearing his clothes?” This comes from Syler who’s stepping closer to me, which makes Taj step in front, blocking Syler from reaching me. That’s when I see two armed men on either side of the door, hands on their guns as they watch them.

Glancing down, I notice I’m wearing a man’s shirt.

When did that happen?

Shit! Did he undress me?

“Do you think you can hide from me forever?” Toska asks, her red hair between her fingers, twirling it as she regards me.

Anger boils up inside me as I look at her. Reaching for the guy next to me, I pull one of his guns free. He tries to get it back by pulling my body to his, but I already have the safety off and lifting it to her head while his hands are wrapped around my waist. I want her dead. I want her wickedness gone from my life. I want her to stop having a hold on him.

Taj swears next to me but doesn’t do a thing to stop me.

“I’ll fucking bury you, bitch.”

Syler jumps in front of her, as I point it at her head, which is now his head. My heart takes on a heavy and loud beat of its own, panic and shock radiates through me. The man pulling me to him reaches for his gun and manages to knock my hand which is still on the trigger. That sets off a chain reaction, and I accidentally pull it. The gun fires, and in slow motion I watch as the bullet leaves the gun and hits Syler. The way his face contours as the bullet reaches him shocks me.

The gun drops from my hand immediately as I realize I actually shot him. I had intended in my head to kill them both, but I wasn’t sure I really could carry out that plan.

His arm starts bleeding, his other hand lifts to cover the wound and Toska begins swearing. Her once cool exterior has disappeared now that she realizes I’m not here to play with her either. I will do what I said, as payback for what they’ve done to me. She doesn’t need to know that the thought of hurting him is physically making me ill right now. No, all she needs to know is that I’m not an easy pushover like she thinks I am.

“You... bitch.” The words leave her mouth, loud and clear, but she doesn’t look to Syler to make sure he is okay. No. Instead, she’s stepping past her brother with the wounded arm and is coming at me at full speed. My eyes bounce back and forth, from her to him. Syler’s eyes are now lifted, his hand still covering the wound as he realizes she’s stepping toward me. Just before she reaches me, I’m lifted by a bare arm wrapped around my waist and twisted back fast. My feet leave the floor then touch it once again. My eyes search to see who it is. Taj is shielding me now with his body as Toska attempts to get closer to me.

“You need to leave, Toska, before I make you leave.” Taj’s voice is deadly. Everything about what he just said was spoken in a calm voice, but held so much power that she stops dead in her tracks. Her eyes skim to me then back to him.

“You’ve been protecting her for some time now. Why is that Taj? What’s so special about her?”

Taj isn’t fazed by her words. “Maybe you should ask your brother what’s so special about her.”

Her eyes go wide, and that hint of crazy which usually only comes out when she’s slicing someone’s throat, is there.

“He doesn’t care for her.”

My eyes travel to Syler. He’s still holding his bleeding arm and doesn’t say a word to defend me against her allegations about him not caring.

Maybe she’s right.

Maybe it’s all in my head.

“You thought he did, didn’t you? Aren’t you just so cute.” She smirks as I watch Syler. My eyes going back to her.

“You will be next, Toska. It’s time someone gave you a taste of your own medicine. If you thought the rats were my only trick... think again.”

Her smirk drops from her face and her eyes go wild. “I’ll fucking kill you for that fucking bullshit you pulled.”

I roll my eyes at her words. “If you haven’t been able to do it before now, I doubt you’ll be able to at all.” This time the smirk touches my lips, and my eyes glisten with hatred.

“Leave. Now. Toska.” This comes from Taj, who’s still standing in front of me, listening to us argue. Turning, I go to walk into the house, but Syler’s words stop me.

“Don’t wear his fucking clothes again, Mouse.”

His power over me hasn’t let go, no matter how hard I try to make it.

I pretend not to notice his words as I continue to walk in, but they trip me up, and I’m sure he notices as I go. If we were normal, I’d be caring for him right now, making sure he’s all right and tending to his wound, since I caused it. But we are far from normal, very fucking far, so I keep on walking inside until I know they can no longer see me and I can breathe easily once again.

***

AFTER A FEW MOMENTS of silence, Taj walks inside, his shirt still missing and his body the only thing I see as he steps closer to me. My mind is lost. My head hurts. And my heart? Well, that’s just as fucked as my head. I have no words for everything I feel right at this moment. Taj goes to open his mouth, words threaten to leave him.

Words, words, I’m sick of damn words.

I want to remember that night.

I don’t want to talk to anyone anymore, so I do the only thing I know that will shut Taj up. I slam my lips to his, pressing against him and letting my hands touch his face, the way I was never until recently allowed to do to Syler. It feels good, too fucking good to have control, for someone to let me have full control. Syler doesn’t give me any control, he always grips onto it tightly even when he lets me think I have a fraction of it. I never really do, though.

Moaning into his mouth, his hands drop down to my ass as he pulls me even flusher with his body, until we have no air between us. Our lips are being bruised, and my hands are touching every fiber of him. It feels like what I need, or maybe not... I’m so confused.

A knock slams on the door just to the left of us. We both pull apart, my eyes down on the ground and I can feel Taj’s all over me, searching and waiting for me to glance up to meet his.

I can’t. I can’t.

It feels all wrong.

Now that we aren’t kissing, everything feels wrong that I kissed a man who isn’t Syler.

Hearing his footsteps, I glance up to track his movements to the door. He opens it, and that’s when I hear his voice. Syler’s.

“Where is she?”

Taj steps to the side to let Syler in. Syler takes one look at me then turns to Taj. Syler’s arm that’s wounded shoots up and slams right into Taj’s face, knocking him back. Before he can gain his composure, the two bodyguards are already on Syler, pulling him back and locking him in place. Taj straightens up, his hand rubbing his now sore jaw and looks back to me.

“Do you want me to make him leave?”

I watch Syler silently fuming. Anger is written all over his face as he breathes in and out heavily.

“It’s okay, I’ll talk to him.”

Something passes in Taj’s eyes, then it’s gone just as fast as it was there. He nods his head, waving to the guards who step back out the door. Taj walks away, leaving me standing a few yards away from Syler whose anger hasn’t left him.

“I can see the kiss, it’s written all over your face. You have this look about you, and I know it because I usually put it there.”

“I...” Nothing, I have nothing. So I shut up.

“You’re not even going to deny it?” Syler laughs. It’s evil, and it makes me mad.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Shaking my head, I step closer to him, trying to gain the power back out of this relationship that’s always been his for so fucking long. “You dispose of me like I’m nothing. You remember that, don’t you?” I raise my eyebrow at him waiting for a sign of anything, but he gives me nothing.

“You don’t allow me to touch you, yet you expect me to be completely yours.” I laugh, it’s loud, and it’s a belly laugh all the way from my core. “Fuck off, Syler, and never come back. Take your fucking crazy as a fruitcake sister and kill her,” I say, leaning in.

His hand shoots out now that I’m closer to him, and he wraps it around the base of my neck, keeping me at a distance but still close enough.

“Don’t think for a second you have the power, Mouse. You belong to me. No matter how many men you kiss or fuck. It will be me they taste, and it will be me you think of each time you fuck one.” He drops his hand from my neck then turns and walks out the front door, shutting it behind him.

Turning around, I see Taj watching me from the top of the stairs. I pull his shirt over my head and climb the stairs until I’m directly in front of him. Naked.