My body is cold, this much I know. My teeth are chattering as I gain back my mobility. I can now stand without falling over, and move my hands to cover my freezing body. I remember what happened leading up to this, the way his hands touched my body, the way he whispered dirty words into my ear when he fucked me, hard. And I remember watching as she watched us, jealousy slowly creeping its way in.

But the problem I’m having trouble with now is, how did they get me here? I’ve lost that specific memory. I know what happened that day, the way it played out, but the details of the night are fuzzy. My foot steps on a flower, and off flies a ladybug, just like in my dream. Bending down, I pick up the scrunched purple flower and squish it between my hands. My strength is weak, but I feel the delicate petals turning to mush as my hand squeezes the life out of it.

Is that what she asked him to do to me?

Did Toska want him to squeeze the life from me?

Shaking my head, the flower drops from my open hand and into the stream of water that’s surrounded by the most colorful flowers. The water washes it away, taking it to the river never to be seen again. I guess that’s where I was meant to be, floating on that river and never to be seen again.

Staring down, I inspect my body. It’s the first clear view I have of it now that I’ve stood up. Everything appears normal. I mean, I’ve lost weight since meeting Syler and Toska three years ago, but I’m not skinny now either.

That’s when I see it.

The tracks in my arm.

Damn it! She shot me up.

With what I don’t know, and I’m not sure I even want to know what she’s put into my system. Because even if it ends up killing me, I want to kill her first.

Stepping one foot in front of the other, my feet are swallowed by the mud on the river bank as I walk away from the pretty flowers. I know where I am, I’ve been here hundreds of times when I was a kid. If I turn back and walked the way she expects me to, I’m guessing I’ll find her waiting. So instead, with shaking legs, I take the harder track, the track where the river is brown from the mud and the floods from years ago. The edges are slippery and crumbly, so much so that I could easily drop into the water from a single slip.

As I get further along, my teeth are chattering even harder. I have to get away from the water, but I know I’m not strong enough to fight Toska off if I see her in the gardens. If I had taken the other path, it would have lead me to a walkway, where you can view the small waterfalls situated everywhere within the rainforest. It’s quite beautiful during the day. A lot of weddings take place here, but at night when the moon rises it’s a thing of magic. I’m afraid if I walk that way she’ll see me before I see her, and that can’t happen.

“Jaya,” she sings.

My body locks tight.

Everything freezes, so stiff I can’t move.

Toska’s in the gardens, and now she’s hunting me.

Did he tell her I was alive?

Or did she work it out for herself, maybe the hunt is the fun part for her?

Either way, now is not the time to play her games, because I know if she catches me she’ll overpower me. Lucky for me, I know this place, I know these Kholo Gardens better than her.

I made my way to the bank where it requires me to climb up. The ground isn’t as flat as it was when I first walked out onto it, and I had been hoping when I got to this part that it would be easier to get up. But as my hands clutch the muddy hill, I do nothing but slip straight down again. I can’t hold myself up, let alone pull my whole bodyweight up the hill.

Toska repeats my name, this time in a more sweetly sick manner. She whistles, and I know she plans to find me. She won’t leave until she does.

Turning back around, I find the spot that will take me up to the gardens, but hopefully not in the direct path of her. There are two paths that traverse to the bottom. One is a straight hill you walk down, the other takes you through the little waterfalls until you reach the very bottom where I was initially.

Her voice sounds as if it’s coming from that direction, so I move my very sore body up the hill, trying to walk as fast as I can until I reach the top. Toska says my name one more time, and I look back to see if I can find her. She isn’t there, so I turn to keep moving, except I run into him. Syler’s body slams straight into mine, and as I glance up at him, I know he’s stuck in the sick games she likes to play. They have done it for so long that I’m just an afterthought, and now I’m afraid that I may be their next victim.

“Syler.” His name leaves my lips, and his head drops to the side as he examines me.

“Why aren’t you running, Mouse?”

I shake my head.

Would you believe me if I told you I love this man? That my Wolf, aka the devil, has my heart firmly in his hands? He doesn’t want to give it back to me either. No, he wants to play with it like it’s his own personal puppet. But I want it back.

“Don’t let her—”

“Jaya.”

My name is called again, so I don’t get to finish my sentence. Syler observes behind him, and I look down checking for that hatchet he carries around with him. He conceals it well, but now I know every inch of this man’s body and I can see he doesn’t have it on him. So I lift my knee, our bodies are almost touching, and I knee him straight between the legs, into one of my favorite parts of him.

He doesn’t drop.

But his hands fall to cover and hold himself as the pain radiates over him.

I lean in to whisper to his ear, “I’m going to kill her, Wolf. Then... I’m going to kill you.”

I don’t wait for him to reply. He can’t chase me with a fractured cock and Syler doesn’t yell, so I know he won’t call out for her. I will my legs to move, to run as fast as they will carry me, and make my way through the parking lot, my bare feet smashing the pavement while I run to the other side of the forest. This area doesn’t have walking tracks, it’s literally nothing but trees, so it will make it harder for them to find me—if they come in here looking, that is.

My feet step onto prickles, and I cover my mouth, so I don’t yelp at my bare feet being tortured as I stay close to the road, but far enough away that they can’t see me if they tried. This road is quiet at night time, only a few houses are out this way and none where I am right now. So when I hear the roar of an old car, I know it’s them searching for me. They’re driving slow, a flashlight pointed at the bushes. When the car gets closer, I duck to the ground, using a huge tree for cover, so they pass, and I go unnoticed. Toska calls out my name as he keeps on driving, taunting me while looking out of the passenger seat as he drives.

My heart breaks.

Just a little, but it still breaks nonetheless.

She’s a bad apple, and he’s a puppet that she controls.

And he doesn’t even realize it.

He never did though.

I noticed her clutching him that first night I saw what she did. It was then that I should have taken off, gotten myself out of this town. Even then, I don’t think I could have. It was the first time I saw him, and I knew I was fucked. No man has ever made me feel the way Syler had. That’s what scares me the most, loving someone so fucked up you know you’ll never get the same love in return.

He tried, I guess, in his own way to love me, but it was never enough. We both knew it, but neither one of us would end it. We were on a merry-go-round, and we never wanted to get off until we absolutely had to.

Now we’re off, and I want to get back on.

I want him to tie me to that merry-go-round and keep me locked in his clutches.

For there I will die a happy woman.

But there I will surely die.