Beth had printed her list out the night before, so all she had to do was retrieve it from the drawer where she’d stashed it. She heard the front door open and close as she pulled the sheets of paper out of their hiding place. Drew had presumably gone out to get his list.
She took her time as she made her way back downstairs to the kitchen. Setting the papers on the table, Beth picked up both their glasses and refilled them. They might as well be comfortable while they discussed things.
It was hard to believe that she wasn’t more nervous. Leading up to their date, she’d nearly driven herself crazy with all the what-ifs. Sure, they were still there, but they weren’t nagging at her as much as they had been. Okay, that wasn’t true. She was still worried. About the future. About whether they could make things work between them. But what they were about to talk about—their limit lists—that wasn’t worrying her so much. Given their fun on the couch, she guessed they’d be able to figure out how to make a sexual relationship work pretty easily. It was the rest that was questionable.
Drew walked back into the room as she was returning their glasses to the table. She could tell he was more anxious than he’d been before, but he also looked resolute.
“Have a seat,” she said.
He released a heavy breath and lowered himself into the chair he’d been in earlier.
Beth joined him at the table. “I know you’ve never done this before, but I have to say this is one of the things about this lifestyle that I like the most. Honestly, I think if more vanilla couples did this, they would be much happier.”
Drew smiled and relaxed his shoulders a little. “I’m trying not to stress too much about it, but it’s strange putting all your wants and desires out there even though I know you’re already aware of some of them.”
“The first time is always the hardest. It will get easier.” She picked up her list and scanned the first page. “Let’s start with something simple. As far as the D/s dynamic is concerned, what are you interested in? Given what I know about you so far, I can’t see you wanting something 24/7.”
He grinned. “No. Not only would that be difficult with my job, I just can’t see myself being submissive all the time. I’m not even sure I could be that way most of the time. My fantasies usually revolve around bedroom activities, so I think I’d like to confine it to that. For now, at least.”
Beth nodded. “So bedroom only. That works for me, although I would be interested in expanding that some in the future if that is something you want. A 24/7 relationship doesn’t appeal to me either. Frankly, it’s too much work. But I do like the idea of you kneeling at my feet while we watch a movie, or maybe even having you do things around the house while I keep you in line with my crop.”
“That could be interesting.”
“Very.” Beth couldn’t help but picture Drew on his hands and knees cleaning up some mess she’d intentionally made for the sole purpose of watching him do her bidding. He’d be naked, of course, and she’d have fun playing with him while he was busy trying to get her floor spotless.
Drew cleared his throat. “If I’m working, we can’t play. I can’t jeopardize my job.”
“I would never want to put your career in danger, Drew. Nor would I want you distracted when you’re working. Your job is dangerous enough as it is.”
He frowned. “My job still worries you.”
Beth sighed. “I’m not sure that will ever change. I mean, if I were rushing into a burning building as part of my job, wouldn’t you be concerned about me on some level?”
“You’re right. I would.”
She grinned, trying to lighten the mood a little. “Let’s get back to our discussion. We’ve figured out when we don’t want to play, so now we need to figure out when we do. I know your schedule is . . . well, for lack of a better word . . . strange.”
He chuckled.
Beth rolled her eyes. “It’s the truth. I’m going to need a calendar to keep track.”
“You get used to it.”
“I suppose I will.” She reached for a couple of grapes and popped them into her mouth. “But that still leaves the question as to when. Between your schedule and mine, it could get a little hairy.”
Drew picked up a cheese square and took a bite. “My single days off can be hectic. Also, I have to be at work by seven in the morning.”
“So I’d say those days are out.”
He frowned again.
“What?” she asked, not understanding his reaction.
“I want . . .”
“Yes?”
“Beth, I want a relationship with you. I want the other stuff, too, but I want us to date and . . . and be together as a couple.”
She knew this. If all he’d wanted to do was play, she was sure he would have been able to find another Domme at the club to experiment with. The man was easy on the eyes and she’d seen more than one Femdom looking him over. She wasn’t sure what his wanting a relationship had to do with their playtime, though. “I know.”
He grinned. “Good.”
“So it’s agreed that we only play during the stretches when you have at least four days off, and during the rest of the time we’re just a regular couple.”
“Agreed.” He paused. “That means we can still do normal couple things during the non-play times, correct?”
It took her only a moment to get what he was asking. She burst out laughing. “Are you asking if we can still have sex if we’re not playing?”
Drew’s cheeks turned a bright shade of pink.
Beth shook her head. “You are such a guy.”
He puffed his chest out. “I would hope so.”
This only made her laugh harder.
Drew joined her.
It took them several minutes to regain their composure. When they did, it was Beth who spoke first. “I think tonight we proved that we can have perfectly good sex without getting kinky.”
His eyes widened. “Good?”
“What? You didn’t think what we did tonight was good?” she asked.
He snorted. “Tonight is probably up in my top five sexual experiences ever, and I didn’t even get my cock inside you. Plus, it still felt as if you were in control, and I liked that. I don’t want that to change.”
“Good. Me either.” She looked down at her papers and tried to hide how much his words thrilled her. One of his top five. She wouldn’t deny she was feeling pretty pleased with herself. “So we’ve talked about the when. We should probably talk about the what.”
Drew pushed his list across the table in her direction. “Being that I work mostly with guys, I figured there wouldn’t be any sexual term I hadn’t heard before. This proved me wrong.”
She chuckled and did a quick scan of what he’d marked. It was what she’d expected for the most part. He was interested in bondage, although he had no personal experience with it. Impact play was also on his want to try list as well as sensation play. She was happy to see that humiliation and degradation were listed as ‘not interested’. The one thing she was surprised to see, however, was that he’d marked ‘maybe’ beside CBT. She hadn’t pegged him for an interest in cock and ball torture.
“CBT?” she asked.
He shrugged. “I’ve seen it done at the club. It looks extremely painful.”
“It can be.”
“I made a comment to John once saying how I couldn’t understand how a guy could want that done to him. He explained that there was a heightened sense of giving up control associated with it. She quite literally has you by the balls and can do with you what she wants.” He leaned forward and picked up another piece of cheese. Instead of eating it, he rolled it between his thumb and index finger. “I don’t know if I’ll like it, but it’s something I’d like to try. Eventually.”
Beth could take or leave CBT. It had its place, and it was fine once in a while, but it wasn’t something she normally did. “Maybe we can explore that in stages. There are many different types of CBT. We’d have to discuss the specifics and just how far each of us wanted to go with it.”
He took a deep breath and ate the cheese he’d been toying with.
She handed her list to him and picked up several more grapes. “I don’t see any major conflicts. Many of the things you want to try I’ve done before.”
Drew nodded as he looked over her list.
“Do you have any questions?” she asked.
“How do we know where to start?”
Beth grinned. “I’d like for you to leave your list with me. I’ll look over it in more detail tomorrow and come up with a game plan.”
“Okay. That makes sense.”
“Is there anything specific that you’d like to try first?”
“Bondage.” He had the answer out almost before she was able to finish asking the question.
Beth chuckled. “I think that can be arranged. You’re off on Monday, correct?”
“Yes. But I have to work Tuesday. Then I’m off Wednesday through Saturday,” he said.
“Why don’t you come over on Monday? I’ll make us dinner and we can talk some more. You can take my list home and look it over in more detail as well.”
“I like the sound of that,” he said.
“Good. I can have dinner ready by five. That will give us plenty of time after.”
***
Drew was reluctant to leave Beth on Saturday night, but he hadn’t felt comfortable asking if he could stay the night. They weren’t there yet. Besides, he had to work the next morning. With her work schedule, Sundays and Mondays were her only days to sleep in. He didn’t want to take that away from her just to satisfy his own selfish want.
His apartment was dark when he arrived home. He must have forgotten to turn on the outside light in his haste to get out the door. Turning the key in the lock, he pushed open the door, and flipped on the light.
The sight that greeted him was not what he’d expected. His buddy, Shawn, was curled up on his new couch with a blanket draped over him. “Shawn?”
Shawn rolled his large body to face Drew and then sat up slowly. It was only then that Drew noticed several empty beer cans beside the coffee table. “Hey. You’re back.”
Drew shut and locked the door behind him. “What happened?”
“My old lady kicked me out. Said I’m afraid of commitment or some shit.” Shawn ran his hands through his hair, causing it to stick up in all directions. “Do you think I can crash here for a few days? I start my rotation tomorrow, so I won’t be able to look for a new place until Friday.”
“Sure. Whatever you need.”
“Thanks.”
Walking into the kitchen, Drew realized he still had Beth’s list in his hand. He quickly folded and tucked it into his front pocket. The last thing he needed was for Shawn to get curious. Trust was one thing, but he didn’t want to have to lie to his friend. He also wasn’t ready to put his sexual preferences out in the open to be scrutinized.
“Were you out with your girl tonight? The one you were telling me about?” Shawn asked.
Drew took two glasses and filled them with water. He had no idea how much Shawn had had to drink, but if what he could see on the floor was any indication, his friend was going to be feeling it tomorrow.
Handing one of the glasses to Shawn, Drew sat down a few feet away on the recliner. “I was. And before you ask, it went well. She’s making me dinner Monday night.” He couldn’t hide his joy about that, so he didn’t even try.
“I’m happy for you. You deserve it.”
“Thanks.”
They were both quiet for several minutes.
“I hope you don’t mind that I used the spare key you gave me,” Shawn said.
“Of course not. I gave it to you to use if you needed it. You obviously needed it tonight.”
Shawn gulped down half the water in his glass. “Yeah.”
“You want to talk about it?” Drew asked. Shawn had certainly listened to Drew’s women troubles over the years.
“Not much to tell.” Shawn shook his head and downed the rest of his water. “I was over at Mickey’s helping him set up a swing set for his girls for most of the day. Came home around five and Jill had my bags packed and waiting for me at the door. Everything was fine last week. I don’t know what happened.”
“Did you mention she’d been out of town or something?” Drew asked, trying to help his friend make sense of what appeared to be the end of his relationship. Shawn and Jill had been together since Drew had been a firefighter—longer.
“Yeah. Her sister’s been sick, so she was in Denver helping take care of her sister’s kids. She got back late last night. I was hoping we’d get to sit down and enjoy a nice evening together before I went back on rotation.”
Drew didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry, man. I really am.”
Shawn nodded and looked around the apartment. “Are you sure you don’t mind me crashing here for a few nights?”
“Of course not. We’re both on duty tomorrow, then between sleeping and having dinner at Beth’s, I won’t be here much Monday either.”
“I owe you.”
“Pfft. How many times did you save my skin in the last seven years?” Drew asked.
His friend laughed. It was good to hear.
“Exactly. So don’t sweat it. Crash here as long as you need.”
Considering it was going on eleven, Shawn helped Drew clean up some of the clutter and downed a few ibuprofen before climbing back on the couch. After making sure everything was locked up tight and that the lights were out, Drew made his way into his bedroom. Only then, with the door closed, did he fish Beth’s list out of his pocket.
She had very few things marked as ‘want to try’. Then again, she’d been in a BDSM relationship before. Although he knew that, seeing it in black and white was quite different. He felt the jealousy peak inside him and tried his best to push it away. It was completely irrational. She was with him now. Officially. There wasn’t any use getting upset about her being and doing things with another man. Especially a man who ended up being a lying, cheating bastard.
Drew was so caught up in his internal argument that he almost missed something Beth marked on her list as ‘love’. He ran his finger down the page to be sure he wasn’t reading it incorrectly.
He wasn’t.
Beth loved knife play.
Racking his brain, he tried to remember what he’d put for that. Dislike? Hate? He couldn’t remember. During his two months as a member of Serpent’s Kiss, he couldn’t recall ever witnessing knife play.
Before he lost his nerve, he pulled out his cell phone and sent Beth a text.
Knife play?
It took her a few moments to respond.
Yes. -Beth
It sounded crazy to admit it, but he was curious.
Why?
Instead of her sending another text in response, his phone rang. He answered it quickly and held it up to his ear. “Hey.”
“Hey, yourself.”
“You didn’t have to call. I was a little shocked, that’s all. I wasn’t expecting you to be into that,” he said.
Beth hummed. “I noticed you marked it as dislike on your list.”
He guessed that answered his question. “I’ve never seen it done, but I’m not sure I’d like something like that.”
“I didn’t think I would either until I saw a demonstration. Once I tried it myself, I was hooked.” She paused. “If you’re not comfortable with knife play we can take it off the table for now. There’s no pressure, Drew. I get that this is new to you.”
While he understood and appreciated that, he felt he needed to be honest. “I’m torn. A part of me is curious since you ranked it so high on your list, but having a blade that close to my skin . . .”
“It isn’t about that. Or at least for me it isn’t. It’s a mind game. I’m not going to cut you, but I could. The possibility is always there.”
“Thanks.”
She laughed. “Just being honest, remember.”
He was quiet for a moment. “I’ll think about it.”
“Fair enough.”
A knock sounded on his bedroom door and it caused him to jump.
“Yes?” he yelled in the direction of the door.
“Do you have an extra toothbrush lying around somewhere?” Shawn asked through the door.
“Yeah. Just give me a minute and I’ll get it for you,” he responded back to Shawn. To Beth he said, “Can you hang on?”
“Sure. But I can let you go if you—”
“No.” He hesitated. The last thing he wanted to do was sound desperate. “I’ll be right back.”
As swiftly as he could, Drew headed out into the hall to the bathroom, dug through his linen closet until he found an unopened toothbrush, and then grabbed the tube of toothpaste from the medicine cabinet. It was one of the few lessons his brother had imparted to him. Always have a spare toothbrush in your closet for overnight guests. The last thing you want is to French kiss a girl goodbye in the morning when she hadn’t yet brushed her teeth.
With Shawn’s issue taken care of, Drew rushed back into his bedroom. He made sure his door was shut firmly behind him, and then went to the bed to resume his phone call with Beth. “I’m back.”
“Everything okay? I didn’t realize you had houseguests.”
“It was a surprise to me, too.” Drew debated how much to tell her. “Shawn was here when I got home. His girlfriend kicked him out.”
“That’s horrible.”
“Yeah. It is. They’ve been together for years,” he said.
Beth grew quiet. “Does that mean you’re going to need to cancel for Monday night?”
“No. Shawn can take care of himself. I’ll be there.”
“I guess I’ll see you then.” He could tell she was smiling, and he wished he were there to see it. “Good night, Drew.”
“Good night, Beth.”
With a spring in his step, Drew plugged his phone into the charger, and then went to get ready for bed. It had been an amazing day, and he couldn’t wait for Monday when he could see Beth again.