Seth was quiet during dinner, even for him. Drew had no idea what his deal was. He would like to think it was brotherly concern.
Beth, at least, seemed to be better. She was smiling and laughing at his father’s jokes. It was progress.
They stayed to help his mother clean up and prep some things for the next day. Usually it was only him in the kitchen with his mom slicing things up the night before. Having Beth there working beside him felt good.
Once everything was as ready as it was going to get for the evening, Drew and Beth made their way back to the makeshift campsite. With a little bit of daylight left, he built a small fire for the two of them. The flames licked at the kindling, catching easily, so he added some larger logs.
She sat down on a large rock to his left. “I’m imagining you doing this as a little boy.”
Drew smiled. “It never gets old.” He leaned back on his heels and stared into the flame. There was something about fire that had always appealed to him—the way it moved and flowed.
For a long while nothing could be heard but the sounds of the night surrounding them and the crackling of the fire. He knew her mind had to be going a mile a minute and he wanted to give her time to work through whatever it was she was contemplating.
While she was thinking, Drew let his mind drift to the afternoon he’d spent with his father. It had been a while since he’d mucked out stalls and put new hay down, but it had felt good to exert some energy after getting Beth off like that. After he’d said goodbye to her, he’d turned on the hose his mom used to water her flowers and washed his hands. It had helped, but until he’d washed up for dinner there was still a faint scent of her on his fingers.
He heard her move and figured she must be chilly, and decided to scoot closer to the heat of the fire. Then he felt her run her hand along the inside of his leg. She wasn’t cold.
Drew turned to face her and that’s when she kissed him. This wasn’t a kiss where one could mistake its meaning. Her mouth was pressing against his with such force that his teeth were hurting. Even still, his cock responded. How could it not? The memory of her coming by his hand earlier had been on his mind moments before. Of course, it didn’t help that her palm was also pressed against his groin.
“Beth?”
She barely removed her lips to respond. “No talking.”
Thinking was becoming difficult, but this didn’t feel right. He’d let her sidetrack their discussion with sex earlier. Drew couldn’t let her do it again. When Beth lifted her leg to straddle him, he knew he had to act quickly or all his good intentions would go out the window.
“Red,” he gasped.
Drew knew exactly when what he’d said registered. Her entire body froze. She pulled back and stared at him with eyes wide.
He knew he had to explain. “We can’t, Beth. Not like this. You’re using this”—Drew gestured down to where her hand still hovered all too close to his erection—“not to talk about what happened earlier.”
Without a word, Beth removed herself from his lap and stood. He’d wanted her to stop pushing him away emotionally with sex, not for her to physically go away.
She looked down at the fire. Drew waited, hoping she’d share with him what she was feeling. They would never make it past this if she kept it inside.
As the minutes passed, he began to think that maybe safewording hadn’t been the best idea. Instead of opening up, she appeared to be shutting down.
“I’m going to bed. Good night.” The words were uttered without looking at him. Drew knew she was hurting, but he had no idea how to make it better so he let her go into the tent without him.
He rubbed his hand over his face in frustration. This wasn’t how he’d imagined spending the night with her.
When he couldn’t stand it any longer, he doused the fire, and climbed into the tent. Beth was on her side, facing away from him. He kicked off his shoes and lay down beside her. She didn’t move—not even a little—so he didn’t think she was asleep.
Knowing he was going to have to be the one to break the ice, he rolled over and placed a hand on her hip.
Beth flinched. Any doubt he’d had that she was awake vanished.
Although he wanted to make her talk about it, he knew she had to do it on her own time and in her own way. Drew meant what he’d said earlier. He would wait as long as it took. All he wanted her to do was talk to him.
“I don’t . . .” Beth sighed. “I don’t want you to think that I don’t care about you.”
“I don’t think that.” Drew didn’t want her to worry about what he might think. This wasn’t about him. It was about her.
She turned to face him. It was dark inside the tent and he couldn’t see her expression, but he heard the emotion behind her words and he was pretty sure she was either crying or close to it. “I wish I could say it back. I just . . . I can’t.”
Unable to resist, he reached out for her, and folded her into his embrace.
Beth tucked her head into his shoulder and shuddered. She put on a good front most of the time. Whether she realized it or not, letting him see her this vulnerable said more about her feelings for him than any words.
Drew held her until he heard her breathing change. Kissing her temple, he shifted them both so that he could lie on his back yet still hold her against him. Beth loved him. He knew it in the very core of his being. She might not be able to admit it to herself yet, but he knew she’d get there eventually.
Closing his eyes, he let the warmth of her body seep into his muscles and take everything negative that had happened that day away. He’d told the absolute truth when he’d said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Beth was the first person Drew thought about when he woke up every morning and she starred in his dreams every night. He couldn’t think of anything better than spending the rest of his days worshiping her in every way possible.
***
The rise and fall of Drew’s chest was the first thing to enter into Beth’s awareness as she awoke early the next morning. She had no recollection of moving into this position with her head resting over his heart. The last thing she did remember was feeling confused about everything except for how good it felt to be wrapped up in his arms. Crazy, considering that the whole reason for her distress in the first place was that she couldn’t tell him that she loved him back. Knowing that she needed some space before she had to face him again, she carefully extracted herself from his warmth and crawled out of the tent.
It was a brisk morning. The wind blew just enough to make her shiver. Beth knew she could rebuild the fire he’d started the night before—there was still a small pile of wood to her right. If she did that, however, Drew would wake up and she’d be right back where she started. The day ahead would be stressful enough as it was. She didn’t want to add to it.
With that in mind, she hugged herself and headed toward the house. Hopefully, Nancy would be up getting things ready for the party and Beth could help. Baking always relaxed her and she was counting on it to provide some much-needed balance before people started to arrive.
Drew found her almost an hour later rolling out piecrust. He walked up to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. It was completely innocent, but it still made her pulse quicken.
“I woke up and you were gone.” A simple statement full of meaning. He’d thought she’d left.
She looked up at him and lowered her voice so that only he would hear. “I needed some space. And I figured your mom might need some help getting things ready.”
He scanned her face as if he could see into the inner workings of her soul. Instead of making her uncomfortable, it had her fighting to hold onto coherent thought. What was it about him that twisted her insides into knots?
Seth stumbled into the kitchen looking for coffee, pulling them both out of the bubble that they had created. Beth wasn’t sure if she was happy with the interruption or not. She knew things weren’t settled with Drew—not by a long shot—but she couldn’t deal with her feelings right now. Not with his family around and everything else that went with it.
The morning flew by as they all worked together, even Seth, to set things up for the big party. There were two long tables placed in the side yard along with ten smaller tables surrounded by as many chairs as would fit around them. She’d thought for sure that the setup was more than enough for any barbecue, but she was wrong. A little before noon people began arriving. By twelve thirty, cars lined both sides of the long driveway and there were people everywhere.
“You doing all right?” Drew asked, coming to stand beside her.
“Yeah. I didn’t think there’d be this many people, though.” If she had to guess, there were at least fifty people present.
He shrugged. “In a rural area like this, a barbecue is a big deal and my parents invite all the neighbors and local farmers. There’ll probably be a few more late arrivals before it’s all said and done.”
“More?” He couldn’t be serious.
Drew chuckled. “Most likely. The Clarks are notorious for being late to stuff like this.”
She felt like a fish out of water. Other than Drew and to some extent his family, Beth didn’t know anyone here.
What she was feeling must have shown on her face because Drew laced his fingers through hers and squeezed. Beth was grateful for the support—especially after this morning. He could have easily left her to her own devices.
It turned out Drew was right. Three more families showed up with covered dishes and lawn chairs in tow. His dad fired up two separate grills and filled them with hamburgers, hot dogs, and brats. The smell of cooking meat filled the yard and seemed to animate the already lively conversations that were taking place among the neighbors.
By the time the last car backed out of the drive, Beth was exhausted. Over the previous eight hours, she’d met more people than she could ever hope to keep track of. Drew introduced her to everyone in attendance. He knew them all by name with the exception of two little girls that were new additions to their families. Beth didn’t even think she knew that many people, and certainly not with the ease of familiarity everyone at the barbecue displayed.
“I wish you both didn’t have to head back tonight,” Nancy said as she and Drew walked toward where Beth was standing.
He gave his mother a kiss on the cheek. “Unfortunately, we both have to work tomorrow.”
Nancy sighed as her husband came up to stand beside her. “Are you sure you have everything?”
“Yep. I loaded all our stuff from the campsite into the car this morning.”
Seeming not to want to say goodbye, Nancy pulled her son in for a hug. “You take care of yourself, you hear?”
When she released him, Bill moved in to embrace his son. “Stay safe.”
Drew’s parents might both support their son’s decision to become a firefighter, but that didn’t mean they didn’t worry about him. Then again, Beth knew her parents worried about her, too. It wasn’t the same, but she figured all parents who loved their children worried about them to some degree.
Seth jogged down the front steps to join them. He’d been pleasant to her during the barbecue, but he still wasn’t overly friendly. She had no idea why and wondered if maybe Drew did. They’d gotten sidetracked and she’d forgotten to ask him about it.
“Are you heading back to the city tonight?” Drew asked his brother.
“Nah. I’ll get up early and drive back in the morning. These things always wear me out. I need a good night’s sleep first.” It was the most Beth had heard Seth say since she’d met him.
“I wish we could as well, but work beckons.”
“You’ll call me when you get home? Let me know you made it back in one piece?” Nancy asked.
Drew grinned. “Don’t I always?”
It was getting late and they needed to get on the road. With that in mind, she addressed Nancy and Bill. “It was very nice to meet you. Thank you for having me.”
The next thing Beth knew, Drew’s mom once again had her locked in a tight, albeit brief, embrace. “You’re welcome any time.”
When Nancy stepped back, Bill surprised Beth with a hearty hug as well. “Make sure my boy treats you right, now. If not, you let me know. I’ll set him straight.”
Drew’s father winked at her, and she laughed. She liked Bill and Nancy. Not only because they were her boyfriend’s parents, but also because they were good people.
Bill stepped closer to Drew and she discovered Seth standing in front of her. Beth really hoped he wasn’t going to hug her, too. Although from Drew’s parents it was a little awkward, from his brother it would have seemed less than genuine.
“Beth.” He said it as if her name held some sort of hidden meaning.
Two could play at that game. “Seth.”
Amusement lit his face and one side of his mouth pulled up in the closest thing she’d seen to a smile from him. “Have a safe trip.”
Not what she’d been expecting, but she’d take it. “Thank you.”
“You ready?” Drew asked.
She turned her attention away from Seth and nodded.
It took them another five minutes to make it down the driveway and head home as there was another full round of goodbyes from Drew’s parents. He only made the drive home a few times a year and according to his mother, that wasn’t enough. She got the impression that Nancy was hoping Beth could persuade her son to come see them more often.
The back roads were dark and there was even less to see than there had been the day before. Drew was quiet behind the wheel. It wasn’t until they reached the highway that he spoke. “Did you enjoy the barbecue?”
“Yes. Everyone was very nice and welcoming.”
He nodded. “That’s a small town for you. I’ve known most of them all my life.”
“Sounds nice.” Growing up in the suburbs, most neighbors kept to themselves. Sure, you might see them outside mowing their lawn or tending to flowerbeds and you would wave, but it wasn’t as if you invited them to dinner. Even if you did, it was nothing like what Drew’s parents had put on.
Silence filled the car again for several more miles before Drew cleared his throat. “Did my brother . . . did Seth say anything to you?”
She shrugged. “Not really. In fact, I’m not sure he said more than ten words to me.”
“Don’t let him get to you. He knows how to push people’s buttons. It’s what he does for a living.” Drew sighed. “And for some godforsaken reason, he thinks he has to look out for me or something.”
“He’s your brother.”
Drew glanced over at her. “I’m twenty-eight years old. If I needed a big brother to look out for me, it was when I was growing up. Not now.”
“I’m sure he has his reasons.” Why she was siding with Seth—whom she hadn’t really been all that impressed with—she had no idea.
“He does. Or at least, he thinks he does.” Drew pressed his lips together. “Yesterday after you walked off, he was grilling me about you. Or about your financials anyway.”
“Me? Why?” That made no sense. Beth had never met Drew’s brother before he’d strolled into the kitchen.
“No idea. I got the impression that he thought you may be trying to take advantage of me or something.”
Beth furrowed her brow.
“I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s probably just Seth being Seth. He’s always been a numbers guy. Maybe he’s only being like this because I brought you home. He knows if I did that you have to be pretty important to me.” And they were back to the one subject she really didn’t want to talk about.
But Drew didn’t go there. Instead he reached for her hand and tangled their fingers together. It was a simple gesture, but it was exactly what she needed. How was she not to fall in love with him?”
It took them a little over an hour to get home. He drove up to her house and parked the vehicle along the curb. “Do you want me to come in?”
Did she? For all her insistence that she wanted space, the thought of him not being in her bed caused a lump in her throat. She should send him home. If for no other reason but to prove to herself that she didn’t need him as much as it felt like she did.
She couldn’t do it, though. “Yes.”
He retrieved their bags from the trunk and followed her up the walkway to her front door. It wasn’t too late. She could still tell him to go home.
Then she felt his breath on the back of her neck. Desire shot through her, settling at the junction between her legs. Last night was the first time they’d slept next to each other and not fooled around. She wanted him. And whether she liked it or not, she needed him.
Turning the lock, she opened the door and stepped over the threshold. As soon as they were both inside with the door closed firmly behind them, she faced him and brought his mouth down to hers.
Drew dropped their bags and circled his arms around her, resting one hand on her ass.
Beth drew back enough to look into his eyes. He’d rejected her last night. She was hoping he understood her need and wouldn’t do it again tonight.
When she didn’t see any hesitation from him, she reached behind her and took hold of the hand he had groping his favorite body part. As much as she wanted to fuck him and forget the swirl of emotions, she needed to make love to him. Everything else—all the analyzing of what it all meant—would have to wait until tomorrow.