“Where have you been, girl? It feels like forever since I’ve seen you!” Millie scans my apartment. “Clearly, you haven’t been decorating your home because it’s still as bare when you moved in.”

“I just haven’t had time, what with work, and . . . you know, other stuff.”

“Yeah, it’s the ‘other stuff’ I’m interested in. Please, tell me what’s happening there.”

For a split second, I consider keeping my sordid affair to myself. I know Millie will have a few choice words for me, and I don’t know if I want to hear them, but at the same time, I can’t keep it in any longer.

“Things have sort of been happening . . . with me and Brock.”

She’s silent for a beat too long, her face flaming red then paling as she digests this.

“Are you serious? Brock? As in your boss? You do realize that’s insane, don’t you?”

“You knew I have a thing for him. I told you right away.”

“Yeah, but it’s one thing to have a crush on someone. That’s normal. Especially when bosses are sexy because they have all that power and stuff. But acting on it is something else. It’s dangerous. You could lose everything.”

My whole body flutters as I think about that moment where he walked into the bathroom and caught me touching myself over him. It was embarrassing, I was shocked at first, but then it very rapidly became something incredibly sexy, and I didn’t stop. I wanted to take things up a notch anyway. I was done playing games, and it worked.

“I know I could. I’ve thought about the risks, but it just feels good with him, you know? He isn’t the sort of person who would fire me if I decided I didn’t want to do it anymore. We’re just having fun.”

“Fun?” Millie snorts and cocks one eyebrow at me. “I don’t think you’re remembering the effect you have.”

“What effect? What are you talking about? You don’t need to turn this into a bad thing.”

“The effect you have on men. Come on, Jodi. It’s constant trouble.”

“No, that was one thing, and it was his fault, not mine. Why do I keep having to repeat this?”

“I’m sorry. I know it was his fault. I just don’t see it working out as you think. I reckon you will be the woman to tame Big Bad Brock, and he’ll fall in love with you. I don’t know if you’ll love him though.”

I shiver as I remember all the snatched kisses we share in the office when we’re pretty sure no one is looking, the danger that they might be turning us both on. The late nights we share together fucking over his desk. I haven’t ever had so many orgasms in quick succession. He really knows my body well already. And we’ve been trying all sorts of new things, positions I wouldn’t have even considered. It’s been a real journey.

“It’s just fun, honestly, just the both of us blowing off steam, and I like it. It’s been the best couple of weeks ever. I needed it. It’s been far too long since I had such a good time with someone.”

“I just want you to be careful, that’s all. I don’t want you to end up in trouble.” She nods toward my phone. “That isn’t him now, is it? Messaging you so obsessively? Because that’s worrying. So early on . . .”

“No, it isn’t him. He isn’t like that. We barely message at all. It isn’t a relationship.”

“It’s not Thomas, is it?” Her spine stiffens as she talks about him. “It better not be, I swear to God.”

“It isn’t Thomas. That restraining order isn’t ever running out, you know that. He might be a crazy fucker, but I know for sure that he cares too much about his reputation to risk jail. He’s done with me.”

She snatches up the phone and runs her eyes over the messages, disappointment growing with each one. Jodi, please help me. I’ve gotten myself into a mess again. I need you. Jodi, why are you ignoring me? Can’t you see how desperate I am? Jodi, you’re the only person I can trust. Don’t do this to me, I need you.

I hang my eyes low. “Yeah. I already know. You don’t need to lecture me. I know what you’re going to say.”

“Lucas, again? I know he’s your ex and you feel sorry for him, but he isn’t your responsibility.”

“I don’t just feel sorry for him . . . I understand him. We’re both damaged people.”

“No, you’ve both been through hard times, but you’ve come out of it a stronger, better person who’s independent and gets a job to stand on her own two feet, and he gambles his life away.”

“Both his parents were killed in a robbery that went wrong. He’s damaged. He needs someone to help him.”

“But you were only with him for a couple of months. Why is he relying on you?”

“Because all his friends have turned their backs on him. No one understands him like I do.”

“Because there isn’t anything to understand. Not when he won’t help himself.”

“He doesn’t know how!” I throw my hands in the air in frustration. “He’s lost. That’s all.”

“No, he just gambles everything because he knows he can come to you. You can’t afford to keep him when you can barely keep yourself. If it wasn’t for him and his issues, you would have been in your own place a lot sooner. I didn’t mind having you around, you know that, but you weren’t there just because you were deciding whether to stay or not. It was because you kept lending him cash that you didn’t get back.”

“I just . . . I don’t want him to end up in trouble. He does get himself into messes, but if he can’t get out of them, what will he do? He’ll end up dead or with broken kneecaps or something. I can’t let that happen.”

“That’s not your responsibility. It isn’t up to you to keep him out of trouble.”

I purse my lips, knowing she’s right. But also, poor Lucas. If I close my eyes now, I can just see his beaten, bruised body in a ditch where some gambling thugs have left him for dead.

“I’m messaging him back,” Millie tells me decidedly, “telling him to leave you alone.”

“No, don’t do that. I don’t know what he’ll end up doing to himself.”

“That will be on my shoulders, not yours. You don’t even need to worry about it.”

“But I will. You know I will. I’ll blame myself. He really doesn’t have anyone else.”

“He should move. It’s quite simple. Las Vegas isn’t the place for a gambling addict to live.”

“He can’t move. He doesn’t have the money.”

“He did when he had his parent’s life insurance money.” Millie sighs as she sees my expression. “Look, I know you think that I’m being harsh, but it isn’t like that. He’s old enough now, and plenty of time has passed. There’s no excuse for him to still be playing the victim. The more you bail him out, the more you’re enabling him. I’m sending this message, turning your phone off, and we’re going out to dinner.”

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to let go of the tight knot of anxiety in my stomach, but I try. I do know that Millie is right. By helping him, I’m not actually helping to get Lucas out of his hole, but it’s hard.

“Yeah, okay.” I gulp noisily. “Where do you want to go for dinner? My treat.”

“Oh anywhere. You know me . . . I’m not fussy. Somewhere they sell pizza.”

She chucks my cell phone to the side, flicking the now black screen at me. I can’t rest. What she’s just done weighs heavily in my stomach, like someone has shoved a rock down my throat.

“Stop looking at it. You can cope without your phone, and Lucas can cope without you.”

“Yeah, I know. I just feel weird about it, that’s all. Leaving him out there with nothing but those monsters.”

“Then let’s get you out the house quick before you do something stupid. And while we’re out, we can decide how we’re going to redecorate your place. I cannot in good conscience let you live there like that any longer.”

“It isn’t a bad apartment . . . just minimalistic. I like it like that. I don’t need lots of stuff.”

“Girl, you have nothing. It’s almost like it’s a stopgap. You need to settle in.”

“Yeah . . . settle in. Sure, you’re right. I just need to buy some stuff that makes it mine.”

“Which you will be quite capable of doing if you stop giving your money to idiot ex-boyfriends to throw down the drain. With Lucas out the way, you can actually get yourself something nice.”

But I already know that I won’t be able to settle anywhere ever again, not until I know that Lucas is okay. Millie might have actually just made things a million times worse with her message. Now I need to speak to him.

“What the fuck was that message about?” Lucas’s tone makes me wince. “I’ve been so freaked out.”

“I’m sorry, Lucas, it was Millie. She thinks I need to stop bailing you out. I just called to see if you’re okay.”

“Well, I’m not. You know I wouldn’t ask you for anything if I didn’t have to. It isn’t like I enjoy relying on you, Jodi. You have a real fucking hold on me, and you probably love it. Keeps me hanging on.”

“What are you talking about?” I clutch my hand to my chest as an actual physical pain rushes through me. “I don’t want that at all. We broke up because we aren’t suited for one another, not for anything else.”

“I know, but I know your past too. You like to keep guys dangling. I’m not an idiot.”

His words wind me. Hearing it from other people is bad enough, but coming from him, it kills me. After everything I’ve done for him, he should be the one person always on my side.

“You know what, I don’t need this, Lucas. I just called to be sure you’re okay, which you obviously are.”

“No, I’m not. They’re fucking going to kill me this time. I’m serious, Jodi. I’m fucking dead.”

“Why? What have you done this time? Why can’t you stop doing crazy things?”

“It isn’t crazy. It really was a sure thing this time. I don’t know how it all went wrong.”

“You always say it’s a sure thing, and it never is. Why can’t you just keep away from it all?”

“Because it’s fucking everywhere. Because I’m in a giant fucking hole that you can’t really help me with. Because all I need is one big win and everything will be sweet. That’s why.”

“But you never get that one big win. It isn’t ever going to happen. It’s time to give up.”

“And do what? What else am I supposed to do? There isn’t anything else for me.”

“Maybe if you tried moving away. You could start a new life somewhere—”

“I didn’t call you up for a lecture. That isn’t what this is about. I need you, Jodi. Like I said, you’re the only one who can save me. I’m really fucking scared that I’m going to die.”

“I can’t keep getting you out of holes, Lucas. It doesn’t work like that.”

“What if I promise to listen to you? To keep on trying? To be better? Just one last help, and I’ll change?”

“One last time, you say? This really will be it for me. How much is it going to cost me this time?”

“Meet me. I need to talk to you about this face to face. Please. Don’t let me down, Jodi.”