It rained before Darek's funeral, leaving the ground wet, and the smell of clean in the air. It was a vast difference from inside the stuffy church where it smelled like mothballs and old books. My mother was beyond decked out in her finest funeral garb and my father looked like a knight, standing beside her as if he would guard her with his life, and he most likely would.

Kayla held my hand through the whole service, and Denise sat on the other side of my sister, crying loudly the entire time. Some part of me wanted to believe in the emotion behind her wailing, but I couldn't.

The trip to my brother's apartment with Grace on Saturday was cut short by a group of cops stopping by. We barely slipped out the back door without getting caught. I needed to give it a few more days and then I could go back over there.

My understanding was that the police department had assigned several detectives to my brother's case if nothing else, to honor who my father was and all he'd done for the city.

"I can't believe we're doing this," my sister mumbled as some of our cousins and some of Darek's good friends got up and moved toward the casket with my father.

"It's so horrible. I feel like I'm in a fucking nightmare." Denise glanced over toward me as she reached out and gripped mine and Kayla's hands as they lay intertwined together.

Bullshit. Lying bitch.

I leaned around my sister and narrowed my eyes at her. "My brother wouldn't have taken a drug without either being forced or promised something of great value for it. You don't know anything about that, hmm?"

Her eyes widened and she reached up and pressed her hand to the base of her throat. "Are you saying that you think I had something to do with this?"

"Not now, Jenna. Shit," Kayla mumbled and glanced between the two of us as the guys carried my brother's casket out the back of the church.

"You're fucking right I do." I leaned over and laid my free hand on top of hers, squeezing softly. "And when I find the evidence that says you were in the middle of this, get ready, Denise or Candy or Martha. Whatever your fucking name is because I'm coming after you. And you'll never feel the knife slide in between your shoulder blades, but when it does... just know that it was me."

She yelped and jerked back, feigning fear. "I can't believe-"

"Ignore her. It's part of the act." I turned back to the front of the church and forced myself to stare straight forward as Denise left the church wailing even louder.

No one had the balls to threaten the widow of a dead man, but someone should have. Nothing added up, and as far as I was concerned, all signs pointed to her. I just needed to link the signs together and lock down my story before going to the cops or to Erik. I hadn't decided which route I was going with. Time was changing my mind. If that was good or bad, I wasn't sure just yet.

* * *

"What are you doing here, kiddo? You really should be with your family." Sam lifted his hands in the air and let out an exasperated sigh. "I told you to take off a week, Jenna."

"I know." I reached up and worked my hair into a ponytail. "And where I appreciate that a lot, I need this right now, okay? It's the only place I feel like I belong. Don't take that from me. Please?"

He reached for me and studied my face before nodding. "All right. I would never do that to you. You know we love you up here. I'm just worried about you." He pulled me close and kissed the top of my head. "Leave when you're ready and show up when you want for the next little while, all right?"

"You promoting me to manager?" I moved back and smirked.

"No, not today, but soon, I'm sure."

"I heard that," Cynthia grumbled playfully as she walked from the other side of the shop and gave me a quick hug. "I'm glad you're here. It's boring without you, and Mr. Hottie Tattoo man doesn't stop by when you're not here. Has he got eyes on you or something?"

I laughed and glanced around the shop. "I hope not."

"I wouldn’t mind him having eyes on me. Or anything else if we're being open."

"We're not." I lifted my eyebrow playfully and enjoyed the sound of her laugh. "I'm okay, really. Just needed to be around you guys."

"I totally understand." She squeezed me one more time before heading back to the pick-up side of the counter. "Sorry for your loss, Jenna."

"Thanks," I mumbled and bent over to grab my apron from below the cabinet. I put it on and tied it around my back as a group of college kids walked through the door, laughing loudly.

They moved up to the counter, and the cute guy in front leaned toward me and smiled. "Hi, pretty girl. I'm Pete. What's your name?"

"It's Barista to you, sir." I smiled as his friends laughed. The smile on his face was sweet, kind. He was the kind of man I should have been watching for to come into the shop and steal my heart, not the thug I was after.

But was Nate really a thug?

He worked as a bouncer in one of the worst clubs for prostitution and drugs in all of New York. He finger fucked me in an office. He was a complete thug, and yet, I was crazy about him.

Whatever he was, I missed him like crazy. It'd been almost a week since I'd seen him. In the middle of all of my brother's shit, I'd forgotten about how good it felt just to look up and see him walk in the door. Maybe today.

"It's gonna be like that, hm?" The guy's smile widened.

I smiled back. "What can I get started for you?"

"How about your number?" He wagged his eyebrows.

Thomas' voice surprised me as he walked toward the front of the counter. "Not happening, playboy. She's mine." He glanced at the guy and squared his shoulders.

"Oh, damn. I'm sorry, Thomas. Forgive me, man." The kid lifted his hands, and I couldn't help but wonder how the hell the young guy knew Thomas. He was a friend of my brother’s, which put him at twenty-six at the youngest. The guy working hard for my number couldn't have been nineteen.

"No problem, pledge. Get out of here." Thomas patted the guy on the back and turned to me. "Hey. You got a second?"

"Yeah. Sure." I looked over my shoulder as Sam glanced up from counting inventory.

"Go on. I'll watch the front for a few minutes for you."

I stifled a groan and walked around the counter toward the hallway where we kept our storage unit. Memories of Nate sneaking up behind me and grabbing the coffee I was after all off the top shelf rolled over me. His thick body pressed to the back of mine, his hands on my hips, my stomach.

"You all right?" Thomas tilted his head to the side and studied me.

"Yeah. Just trying to get back into the swing of things." I let my eyes move toward the door as a soft prayer rose up in my head. I just needed to see Nate for a few minutes. Just feel his arms around me. It was stupid. Silly. Ignorant, but I didn't care. The secondary brush with death mixed with the odd fight with Darek's widow left me wanting comfort - Nate's comfort. Something about him made me forget everything else around me. I craved the power he had over me.

Thomas reached out and ran his hands over my shoulders. "I understand that completely. I still can't believe Darek is gone."

I glanced down and nodded. "Me either. Hey, how did you know that young guy that was hitting on me?"

"We're in the same fraternity. He's pledging this semester."

"You've been out of NYU forever. What-"

"It's part of the way we do things in my old frat. All the guys are invited back for a homecoming during rush in the fall." He shrugged. "I met the kid the other night."

"Kid, hmmm? Does that mean you think I’m still a kid? The guy wasn’t much younger than me."

"Hell no. You know that men mature slower than women, right?"

"Slick." I smiled up at him and turned a little as the door opened. My eyes met Nate's and the world felt right. "Thanks for coming by. I'm actually okay."

"You sure?" He ran his hands down my arms and squeezed my hands before I tugged myself free.

Nate moved around him and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, leaning down and kissing the top of my head before glancing up at Thomas. "What's up, man?"

"Nothing. Just checking on Jenna. She's been through a lot lately." Thomas' eyes never left mine.

Maybe I was choosing the wrong man, but it didn't feel like much of a choice. My blood boiled when Nate was near and the air grew thin. That was the kind of love/lust mix I was after. Hell, it was what every woman with a beating heart would want.

"That so?" Nate turned toward me and pulled me into his arms. "Tell me what's been going on."

I glanced up at Thomas. "I'll see you soon, okay? Thanks for checking on me."

My brother's oldest friend glanced between me and Nate and narrowed his eyes a little. "I don't like it."

"And no one asked your opinion, asshole." Nate reached out and grabbed Thomas by the front of the throat faster than any of us could have reacted.

"Shit. Stop it, Nate. Damn." I gripped his arm and pulled at it, but he didn't budge. "Nate. I'm serious. Let him go, or I'm walking out of here. Right the fuck now."

Nate turned his deep aqua-colored eyes toward me as his expression softened. "Why in the world would you think you were capable of leaving me?" He released Thomas and pushed him in the chest without looking back toward him. "Get the fuck outta here now, and don't touch my girl again. Not ever."

"Fuck you, asshole." Thomas threw his arms in the air and stormed out as Nate put his hands on my face.

"You belong to me. What part of that aren't you understanding?"

"Since when?" I hated myself for doing it, but I reached out and slid my hands up his sides, enjoying the thick muscles my fingers ran over. How badly I wanted to see him completely naked.

"Since you took my hand at the club." He leaned down and kissed me in a way that left my head spinning. Every cell in my body was pulsing violently by the time he pulled back.

"Don't hurt Thomas again. I'm not dating a thug. Understood?"

"Then tell him who you belong to, Jenna. Understood?" He kissed me again, and I pressed against him, opening my mouth and welcoming him deep inside of me. It took me a minute to realize where we were.

I pulled back and pressed my fingers to my lips. "Not here."

"Then come home with me. You need to finish what you started."

He had no clue what I'd been through. Should I tell him? No. There was nothing he could do about it, and it would ruin the heat between us. I needed to let the relationship simply be what it was. Lust. Fire. Heat. Enough for me to drown in every time he came around.

"Finish what I started?" I laughed softly. "You started it and you finished it last Friday night."

"No, no, no." He licked his lips and reached up to press his thumb just inside of my mouth. "Don't you know how this works, girl?"

I shook my head 'no' and sucked his thumb into my mouth, losing myself in his eyes.

He pulled his thumb from my mouth, licked at it a few times and moved back down to kiss me one more time. "You got off. I didn't."

"You said you did. Fucking liar."

"Not the way I wanted to. You started it with your slutty little self," he gripped my hand and cupped it over his bulging erection, "now you get to finish it."

I squeezed his cock and moved closer in hopes of hiding my hand. "Slutty little self? Not hardly."

"No? What if I like slutty?" He thrust, rubbing his cock against the palm of my hand.

I swallowed hard and moved back from him. "All right. Let's see what you got." I pulled a sharpie out of my back pocket and wrote my address on his palm. "Meet me there. Tonight."

"You asked for it." He kissed me again and walked toward the door.

"You not getting your cup of coffee today?" I smiled.

He glanced over his shoulder, stealing my heart with his cocky smile. "Fuck no. I hate that shit."