Finn. Loved. Her.  Those were the first words that sprang to mind when Harper woke up the following morning, still naked under the sheet.  And then, patting the space beside her, she discovered that he wasn’t there.  Peering at the clock on her bedside table, she saw that it was already seven thirty, and she realized he’d probably left for work a long time ago. 

Suddenly, she bolted upright.  Work!  She had an appointment at nine o’clock in downtown Clarkston!  Throwing off the sheet, she padded naked into the bathroom and flicked on the light.  There, propped up amongst her massive array of hair products, was a note from Finn, written in his large, bold scrawl. 

Fed Petunia.  Loved waking up next to you.  Love, Finn.

Straight to the point as always.  Staring at the words “Love, Finn” reminded her of when he’d said them to her last night.  They were words that she’d never expected to hear from him, or anybody else for a long time, if ever.  The words rolled around in her head as she took a fast shower, dressed, and went downstairs. 

Daisy was in the kitchen looking well fed and content, and Harper scooped her up and squeezed her tight.  “Did Finn take care of you?  Huh, girl?”

Do dogs smile?  Because Harper swore that Daisy did.  Setting her back down, Harper quickly made herself a bowl of oatmeal and slurped down a glass of milk.  And then she picked up her cell phone from the kitchen counter where she’d left it the night before. 

She smiled when she saw that Finn had sent her several text messages between five and seven that morning, in the following order:

Kissed you goodbye, but you didn’t budge.

Thought about waking you for a quickie.

Might have taken a peek or two under the sheet.

Would love to see you tonight if you’re free.

I love you.

She didn’t notice she had one hand over her heart until the phone rang and she had to remove it to answer.

“Why didn’t you?” she said in lieu of hello.

“Why didn’t I what?”

“Wake me up for a quickie.”

Finn laughed.  “Believe me, it was a tough call, but you looked so peaceful lying there that I hated to disturb you.”

“I never even heard you leave.”

“Tell me about it.  I knocked over your impressive supply of beauty products on the bathroom counter, and you didn’t even budge.”

“So, I like to collect beauty products.  It’s a girl thing.”

“You’re beautiful without all that stuff.”

She almost said, “How do you know?” but then she remembered that he’d seen her without makeup plenty of times, and now he’d even seen her with morning bedhead.

“Thank you,” she said.

“Be right there!” Finn yelled to someone in the background.  “Sorry.  I need to get back to work.  Just wanted to say good morning.”

“Good morning.”

“Can I see you tonight?”

“Love to.”

“Love you,” he said and then disconnected before she could say another word.

 

She pulled into the parking lot of A New Chapter at five minutes before nine, grabbed her Vera Bradley tote bag off the passenger seat, and hurried to the front door.  The store didn’t open until ten, but Kelly and Emma had asked her to meet them there beforehand so they could talk business.

She peeked inside and caught Kelly’s attention at the front counter.  With her usual exuberance, Kelly sashayed to the door and let Harper in.

“Come on in.  This is so exciting!  Emma’s running a few minutes late.  Would you like a cup of coffee?”

Amazed at the level of energy that Kelly exuded at this early hour, Harper decided that a cup of coffee might do her some good.  Even then, she probably wouldn’t come close to matching Kelly’s energy level.  “Sure,” she said warmly.

“Come on back to the office,” Kelly said and led Harper behind the counter and into a small office space.

Kelly motioned to a chair in front of the desk while she poured them each a cup of coffee from the pot on a side table and then sat down beside her. 

“I couldn’t believe it when I was searching for a local photographer and saw your name,” Kelly said. 

Harper had been surprised too when she’d received an email from Kelly indicating that they were looking to hire a photographer to take some in-store photos.  She’d been expecting an email about the next book club meeting instead, which came a couple of days later.

“I’m glad you contacted me,” Harper said sincerely.  She had grown quite fond of the bookstore and its friendly owners. 

And then Emma fluttered in, hair pulled back in a casual knot and dripping rain from her trench coat.  “So sorry I’m late,” she said, peeling off her coat and hanging it on the metal coatrack.  “My kids didn’t want me to leave this morning!”

“Wasn’t Grandma Kostas there to help out?” Kelly asked familiarly. 

Harper had discovered that not only were Emma and Kelly co-workers and best friends, but they were sisters-in-law as well. 

“She was, but sometimes, only a mother’s touch will do,” Emma said before plopping down in the chair behind the desk. 

A few weeks ago, Harper might have felt envious of these two beautiful women.  They had jobs that they loved, men that they loved even more, and their family was expanding, as evidenced by Kelly’s baby bump, which she rubbed lovingly every so often.  But Harper had a lot to be grateful for too, and she immediately thought of Finn, smiling softly as she did. 

“So, Kelly probably already told you why we contacted you,” Emma said, “but I’ll reiterate.  We’re looking to update our website, and we need some new photos of the store and of us and even some of our customers.  I’m sure you’ve already met Mrs. Simmons.”

“I have,” Harper said, smiling at the memory. 

“We want the website to have a homey, community vibe, so we’d like to include some of our regular customers too.”

“Sounds like a great idea,” Harper said, pulling a notepad and pen out of her tote bag.  “What kind of time frame are you looking at?”

“We’d like to roll out the new website by June, if that works with your schedule.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem,” Harper said confidently. 

“We looked at some of your work on your website and were very impressed,” Emma said.  “You definitely have a creative eye, so we’re excited to see what you come up with.”

“Thanks,” Harper said.  “I love what I do.”

“It shows,” Kelly said sweetly. 

They talked business for a while longer, and Harper gave them some printed materials to look over before they concluded their meeting.  At the end, all three of them seemed satisfied with the arrangement. 

“So, when I come to the book club meeting next week, I’ll bring my camera and take some candid shots,” Harper said.  “You might want to warn people ahead of time in case they don’t want their photo taken.”

Kelly laughed.  “Are you kidding?  Most of the women in that group are hams!”

“Especially Mrs. Simmons,” Emma added. 

They made small talk for a few minutes more until they heard a loud knock on the front door.

Kelly poked her head out of the office and said, “Speaking of Mrs. Simmons…”

Kelly went to open the door while Harper gathered her belongings and followed Emma out of the office. 

“Thanks a lot,” Emma said, turning to shake her hand.  “I’m really looking forward to working with you.”

“Me too,” Harper said. 

As Harper walked toward the door, Mrs. Simmons spotted her and broke out a sweet, crooked smile.

“Well, hello, dear.  Nice to see you again,” she said.

“You too,” Harper replied, smiling back. 

Kelly had returned to the front counter with Emma, and Mrs. Simmons leaned closer to Harper and whispered, “Any luck with your young suitor?”

Smiling even wider, Harper said, “How did you know?”

“It’s easy to spot a woman in love,” Mrs. Simmons replied.

“Oh,” Harper said, taken aback.

“Well, aren’t you?  In love, I mean.”

“I…I…”

“That’s your answer right there.  Your young man still has you tied up in knots.  You know what that means, don’t you?”

Harper shook her head almost frantically. 

“It means that he’s the one!”

“The one?” 

“That’s right.  The same thing happened to me and my Eddy.  I couldn’t see straight for weeks until I finally gave in.  Good thing he didn’t give up on me!”

“When you say, ‘gave in,’ what does that mean exactly?”  Harper found that she had leaned closer to Mrs. Simmons too.  Just like the first time they’d met, she was anxious to hear what this woman had to say.

Mrs. Simmons giggled and looked wistful for a moment, as if she were digging up an old memory.  “Oh, honey.  It’ll happen to you too.  You just wait.”  And then, as if the conversation were over, Mrs. Simmons started to walk away.  “Have a good day, dear,” she called over her shoulder before disappearing into the stacks. 

Harper stood there, dumbfounded for a moment, until Kelly walked up beside her.  “Was she harassing you again?” Kelly whispered, placing a hand on Harper’s arm.

“No, not at all.  I think Mrs. Simmons is a very wise woman.”  And then she said goodbye to Kelly and left, swinging her tote bag all the way to the parking lot. 

Her good mood continued throughout the rest of the day, and she expected it to only get better when Finn came over after work.  He’d texted her to say that he’d bring dinner and to expect him around six o’clock.

At four thirty, she stopped working to change.  She’d worn classic black dress pants and a blush-colored blouse to her meeting with Kelly and Emma earlier—her standard work clothes.  But she wanted to look different for when Finn arrived.  Funny how, just a few weeks ago, she wouldn’t have cared what she was wearing, but she did now. 

Rummaging through her lingerie drawer, she held up and discarded several items until she found something from Victoria’s Secret that still had the price tag attached.  It stole her breath for a moment, and she slumped down on the floor in front of her dresser.  The black one-piece number was the last gift she’d received from her husband, and she’d never had the opportunity to wear it. 

He’d given it to her for her birthday in May, just a few weeks before he’d died.  She remembered them laughing when she’d opened it.  It was an ongoing joke that he always had her naked before she could so much as think about wearing her sexy lingerie.  After he died, she’d shoved the item to the back of her drawer and had forgotten all about it. 

Even though it made her somewhat sad to find it now, part of her wondered if it was another sign.  A sign that it was time to start over, to begin a new life without him.  Isn’t that what everyone had been advising her to do for months now?  Fingering the lingerie, she thought about the strides she’d made recently, and it made her feel stronger, braver. 

Heaving herself up off the floor, she took the lingerie into the bathroom, where she clipped off the tag.  She might have still felt uncomfortable if it had been something she’d worn with Blake, but because it was new, she’d wear it.  Slipping it on and adjusting the straps, she turned to survey herself from all angles. 

“Not bad,” she said just as Daisy trotted into the bathroom.  “Oh!” she exclaimed and crossed her arms over her chest.  And then she laughed because, hello, dogs don’t care!  Bending down to pet Daisy, she said, “You love me no matter what, right, sweetie?”

Daisy just licked her hand and then turned around and walked away.  So much for their tender moment. 

Next, Harper spritzed on some perfume and then went into her closet to pick out her clothes.  For many months after Blake’s death, she’d lived in yoga pants and loose-fitting tops, not overly concerned about fashion (or anything else for that matter).  And then she’d lost quite a bit of weight from not caring about food either.  At some point, her sister had forced her to lose the yoga pants and go shopping for some new clothes—clothes that actually fit.

So, now she pulled on a pair of skinny jeans, wondering how much longer she’d be able to wear them, since her appetite had come back with a vengeance.  She paired the jeans with a simple black V-neck sweater because she didn’t want to look she was trying too hard, and then she tugged on a pair of black ankle boots. 

Earlier, she’d straightened her hair for the bookstore meeting, but now she thought it looked flat and boring.  So, she did something she hadn’t done in a long time—she braided it.  She tried to remember if Finn had ever seen her with a braid and couldn’t think of a time.  Fingering the tendrils that framed her face, she wondered if he’d like it or if he’d want to take it out and let her hair flow loose.  Either way, it felt new and fresh, and as a bonus, it made her feel younger! 

No sooner had she reached the bottom of the stairs than the doorbell rang.  Glancing at her watch, she saw that it was only five-thirty, but Finn was notorious for being early, so she wasn’t surprised.  However, she looked through the peephole this time just to be sure before swinging the door open and inviting him inside.

He’d barely shut the door behind him before he caught her up in his arms and lifted her off the floor.  She immediately wrapped her legs around his waist and looped her arms around his neck while Daisy sniffed around Finn’s pant legs. 

“My two favorite girls!” Finn said, and he proceeded to carry her into the kitchen, where he first set down the bag of food and then her. 

“Well, that was quite a greeting,” she said once her feet hit the floor.

“I can do one better.”

And before she knew what was happening, his lips had covered hers, and his hands had snaked around her waist, pulling her up against his very hard body. 

“I like that one too,” she said a bit breathlessly after they’d pulled apart. 

Finn smiled and then started unloading the large bag of food.  “There’s more where that came from, but first, I have to eat.  I skipped lunch today, and I’m starved.”

Harper brought out plates, utensils, and two beers and set them on the table while he unloaded fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, and biscuits from the bag. 

“Mmmm,” she said.  “Smells good.”

“So do you,” he said as she leaned across him to set down his plate.  She’d unknowingly (or maybe not) given him a view down her sweater at the same time, and he might or might not have glimpsed her black lingerie underneath. 

Tugging on her braid, he said, “I like this too.  Very sexy.”

“Thanks,” she said, pleased with her decision to wear it.

“Can’t wait to take it out later,” he said right before he bit into a chicken drumstick. 

Smirking at him, she said, “You’re so bad.”

“Last time we were together, I recall you saying I was so good.”

“Did I really say that?” she asked, knowing full well that she had.

“Um-hum.  Although you were in the throes of passion at the time, so you might have forgotten.”

She just smiled and bit into her chicken breast.  She hadn’t forgotten one single moment that they’d spent together, but she wasn’t ready to tell him that.  The man was plenty cocky without her adding to it. 

Switching gears, she told him about her meeting at the bookstore, and he listened intently in between eating and licking his greasy fingers.  She became distracted a few times when she watched him insert his thick, masculine fingers into his mouth one at a time and lick them clean.  She crossed her legs under the table to squelch the thrum of desire that was already beating there and banged her knee on the table in the process. 

“Ouch!”

“You ok?” he asked, immediately setting his chicken down.

“I’m fine, but would you please stop doing that?”

“Doing what?”

“Licking your fingers!”

He tipped his head back and was laughing loudly when the doorbell rang for the second time that evening. 

“Oh no!” Harper said, remembering the last time she’d had an unexpected visitor. 

“Stay here.  I’ll get it,” he said, pushing back from the table. 

“But it’s my house,” she said as she stubbornly followed him to the front door. 

Finn didn’t even bother to look through the peephole.  He simply opened the door like he lived there, with Harper standing right beside him.

The second she saw the flash of black hair, she cringed—Nina.

The three of them stared at each other for a few seconds before Finn stepped back and motioned her inside. 

Harper’s heart started beating double time as she realized that this time, they were truly caught.  There was no way that Nina would believe it was a coincidence that Finn had brought her food twice in such a short period of time (assuming that Trish had told her).  Besides, Nina could certainly tell that Harper looked “dolled up” compared to how she normally looked. 

“Hello, Nina,” Harper said, steeling herself for whatever came next. 

“I came over to talk to you, but I can see we’re going to have an audience,” Nina said coldly. 

“Whatever you have to say, you can say it in front of me,” Finn said, meeting her eye to eye. 

“Why don’t you come in and sit down?” Harper suggested, even though she’d much rather Nina didn’t.  But it was too late.  Time to pay the piper.

They moved into the living room, where Harper and Finn took seats on the couch and Nina perched on the edge of the chair opposite them.  Daisy had followed too, and she dutifully sat at Harper’s feet, as if to give her a vote of confidence.

“So, this is a real thing between you two,” Nina stated somewhat accusingly.

“Yes,” Harper answered, surprising herself with the speed of it.

Finn didn’t speak, but he reached out and placed his hand over hers and squeezed it reassuringly. 

“Since when?” Nina asked.

“That’s really none of your business,” Finn replied, his voice calm and direct.

“Maybe not, but if it happened while my brother was alive…”

“It didn’t,” he said, sitting up straighter.

“I loved your brother, Nina.  Make no mistake about that,” Harper said, her voice wavering. 

Nina glanced down at her hands, which she’d clasped tightly in her lap.  It was Harper’s first indication that she was nervous too.  “Mom told me, but I had to come and find out for myself.”

“Well, now you know,” Finn said firmly.

This time, Harper squeezed his hand, as if to say, “lighten up.”  She felt sorry for Nina, who had lost her only sibling.  And even though Nina hadn’t been overly kind to Harper through the years, she believed that Nina had loved Blake very much.  She was only there out of loyalty to him, and Harper had to respect that.

“I wonder what Blake would have thought about this?” Nina asked, but she wasn’t really looking at either one of them.  It was almost like she was trying to communicate with her brother directly. 

Clearing her throat to garner Nina’s attention, Harper said, “I think he would have approved.  He loved Finn like a brother.  You know that.”

Finn hung his head for a moment, but Harper continued.  “Believe me, Nina.  I never expected this to happen.  But Finn has been here for me since…”

“Blake died.  I know,” Nina said resignedly. 

“I didn’t just love Blake,” Finn said suddenly.  “I loved his entire family.  Still do.”

And that’s when Nina crumbled.  Tilting forward, she put her head in her hands and began to cry, softly at first and then in earnest. 

Harper immediately got up and went to her, placing her arms around Nina’s shoulders and hugging her close.  Finn rose too and disappeared into the bathroom before returning with a box of tissues. 

“Here,” he said gruffly, handing Nina the box.

“Thanks,” she mumbled without looking up. 

A few minutes later, her tears subsided, and she stood up on wobbly legs.  “I should get going.”

“Do you want to stay for a few more minutes?  Have something to drink?”  Harper asked, extending her olive branch.

Nina gave her a shaky smile.  “No thanks.  I’ll let you two get back to dinner.  I thought I smelled fried chicken when I first walked in.”

“Finn ate most of the chicken already, but there’s still potatoes.”  It was a small attempt at humor, but Harper snatched it up.

“Hey,” he said, feigning being offended. 

“That’s ok,” Nina said as Harper and Finn (and Daisy) followed her to the door. 

Nina had her hand on the doorknob when Harper said, “You know, just because Blake’s gone, it doesn’t mean that you and I can’t be friends.”  She was continually surprising herself lately, and it felt damn good.  Maybe it was time for a new beginning for all of them. 

“I’d like that,” Nina said and rewarded her with a genuine smile that time.  And then she turned to Finn and said, “Take good care of her.”

“I will,” he said, putting an arm around Harper’s waist. 

After Nina left, they walked back into the kitchen, and that’s when the reality of the situation hit Harper square in the jaw.  Slumping down at the table, she put her head in her hands and breathed deeply, trying to regain control of her emotions. 

“It’s ok, sweetheart.  You don’t have to hold it in on my account,” Finn said from behind her as he rubbed her back soothingly.

She nodded and waited for the tears to come, but shockingly, they didn’t.  After a few more deep breaths, she looked up at him over her shoulder and said, “I’m ok.  Really.”

Looking relieved, Finn sat back down at the table, even though neither of them continued eating.  “I was expecting it to be a lot worse,” he said thoughtfully.

“Me too.”

“Maybe Nina’s finally growing up.”

“Maybe.”

“Did you really mean what you said to her?”

“Which part?”

“The part about thinking Blake would have approved.”

For being such a big, strong man, he looked almost vulnerable when he said it, and she realized that she wasn’t the only one who needed reassurance sometimes.  “Yes.  I do.”

Patting his legs, he said, “Come here.”

So, she went to him, sitting sideways across his lap and resting her head against his broad chest.

“I’m proud of you,” he said.

“What for?”

“For the way you treated Nina.  You could have been furious with her for coming over here and questioning you like that, but you weren’t.  You treated her fairly and with respect.  And I love you for that.”

Harper’s head popped up to see his brilliant blue eyes gazing down at her softly, lovingly.  “Finn, I…”

“Shhh.  Don’t say anything.  Please,” he added.

“But I…”  It was right there on the tip of her tongue, and she really wanted to say it, but then her cell phone rang, startling them both. 

She could see the phone from where she was sitting and saw McKayla’s name flash on the screen.  “It’s my sister.  I should probably get that.”

“No problem,” Finn said, looking almost relieved by the interruption. 

But as Harper hopped off his lap and went to answer the call, she felt anything but relieved.  She’d been so close, and it had been the perfect opportunity to tell him how she was feeling, but now the moment had passed.  And she wondered when she would get another one.