I get as far as the street before I realize I’ve fucked up. The light is still on in the bakery across the way, so I knock on the door.

Tessa opens the door, yawning as she swings it open. “I thought you’d gone off to bed.”

“Same to you.”

She gestures at the bright kitchen behind her. “Gotta get the baking done for tomorrow—or later today, really. I’ve got a part-timer coming in to work for me at five, so I just need to stay up until then.”

“Ah.” I pace around the dim space in front of the empty display. “Got any leftover muffins from tonight?”

“Nope.” She smiles broadly. “Totally sold out. But if you wait five minutes, I can give you fresh ones straight out of the oven.”

Five minutes sounds like a lifetime, but I don’t want to return empty handed and it would take longer to drive into the city for flowers.

Also, I have no fucking clue if Meadow likes cut flowers. But she loves muffins. She picks them apart, tiny bite by tiny bite, and licks her fingers clean when she’s done eating them.

Muffins are a glorious thing.

And a decent place to start my apology, once I work out my messed up thoughts.

“Were you happy with tonight?” Tessa asks. “Pretty cool that Ellie Strong came, eh?”

“Very.” I clear my throat. “Yeah, it was a roaring success. We’ll have to do it again next year.”

“Count me in. I had a couple of people say they’ll drive out on the weekend to pick up muffins. If that catches on, it’ll be totally worth it.”

“You should do more of a brunch offering on the weekend,” I say, looking out the window at the dark, quiet street.

She laughs from the kitchen. “At my three tables? No, I want customers to come and go. In and out. If anyone should do a fancy farm-to-table brunch, it’s you. Your space is perfect for it.”

I’m looking across at my bar, and I hear her words, but I don’t really hear them. Not at first.

Then they sink in, and I slowly turn around.

“No,” I say, heading back toward her. “I shouldn’t. I’m not a chef. But we could partner on it. My space, my drinks, your muffins, and we hire a chef. I don’t want to manage another venture, but I’m happy to donate the space and provide the cocktails. You’re up early anyway. You can oversee the food prep, the menu design.”

She blinks at me. “Just like that?”

I shrug. “Meadow really likes your muffins.”

She winks. “And you really like Meadow.”

Was it that fucking obvious to everyone who isn’t me and Meadow? “Yeah, I do.”

“Are these for her?” She gestures to the tray she’s just pulled out of the oven.

I nod.

She tuts her tongue against her teeth and shakes her head. “Middle of the night muffins for your woman. Must have been something.”

The something is that I wasn’t clear enough that she is my woman, no matter what. I got mad and I left without saying why. Without explaining.

I’ll fix that.

“Yeah, it was something all right.”

She carefully sets four muffins in a cardboard carryout box, then sprinkles a couple of sugared flower petals across the top before closing it up. “Make it right, Bas. I like the way your mind works when she’s inspiring you.”

I take the box gratefully. “Me, too.”

I make it as far as the door before I turn around. “Tessa?”

“Yeah?”

“Does your Tarot deck say anything about this moment?”

She grins. “You sure you want to know?”

I nod. I do.

She pulls it out from behind the counter and carefully hands it over. “Shuffle this, and as you do that, think of your question. The more specific the better. Then take one, and I’ll read it for you.”

I take the cards and rifle them. I’m not as sure as I should be on this question, but I know my energy. I know myself.

I pull a card from the middle and hand it over.

Tessa grins as soon as she looks at it. “Oh, Bas, the cards never lie.” She flips it over so I can see it, not that I know what they mean. “This is the Page of Swords, and he is so you. Stubborn, energetic, an excellent negotiator. But he can also mean that you’ve got a lot of decisions to make, and quickly. If you are looking for a yes or no answer to a question, the Page of Swords is a clue that you’re smart and capable, and if you’ve settled whatever has held you back in the past, going forward you should say yes.” She pauses. “I don’t want to assume this is Meadow related, but hell, man, say yes.”

I grin and set the rest of the deck on the counter. “Have no fear, Tessa.”

When Meadow answers the door, she’s no longer wearing the remnants of her costume. Instead, she’s changed into an over-size t-shirt.

Dropping the box of muffins on the small table by the door, I crowd Meadow up against the wall, her hands splayed against my chest.

“Stop it, Bas.” She shoves at me, but I’m ten times bigger than her. I don’t move. She glares at me. “What are you doing?”

“Having the rest of a conversation.”

“It’s not nice to hold a girl against the wall, you know.”

“I’m not a nice man.”

“That’s a lie.”

“It’s the truth. I didn’t listen to you. And now I’m pinning you against a wall. What would you call that?”

“You’re not a nice man,” she whispers, and her pupils dilate.

I shake my head. “I’m a bastard in so many ways. But you make me nice. And if you’ve got secrets, so do I. I thought you were too good for me. Too kind, too sweet. Not dirty enough.”

She blushes, and stupid me would have thought that proved my point, but I’m wide awake to all the different ways Meadow is delightfully filthy now. “I’m pretty dirty,” she says softly, and it’s the fucking hottest thing I’ve ever heard.

“Yeah you are. So the question now is, what do you want to do next?”

She licks her lips. “I lied to you.”

My craven impulses could not have been more on point. “Do you want to be punished for that?”

A soft, sweet whimper slides across her lips. “Would that be okay?”

Fucking hell. I grin broadly. “Yeah, baby. That would be more than okay.”

“Do you… I mean, how would you…”

I lean all the way in, closing the space between us to nothing but dark heat. “I’ve got all sorts of ideas, little one. Six months of fantasies to make up for. Six months of secrets to punish you for. But I think it would be a reward to tell you what I want to do. That would be too easy. Too nice. So I want to make you say it. Tell me what you think should happen. Be brave, Meadow. Tell me. Where do you want to begin? What did you think the first time you saw me?”

“Your hands,” she pants. “They’re what I noticed first.”

“How big they are?”

“Yes.” It’s a whisper now. Her voice is shaking, and that gets to me. Right in the middle of my selfish chest.

“What did you want, Meadow? Tell me. Anything.”

“I wanted you to spank me.”

“Right from the very beginning?”

“Yes.”

“And you kept that from me?”

Her voice breaks. “Y-es.”

“Why?”

“Because you were always…”

“With someone else?” That’s not really true, though. There were breaks. “How many women have I been with in the last six months?”

Her face twists as she thinks. “A few.”

“For how long?”

She whimpers. “Not long.”

“None of them were you, little one.”

She cries out now, and it hurts me. But I push on.

“I wanted you, too. Don’t you know that now? And you were so tangled up in your secrets that you couldn’t see it.”

Her eyes squeeze shut and she nods. Slowly, carefully, I cover her wrists with my hands. I squeeze, and she shudders. “I’ll spank you tonight, then. We’ll start there. But I’ll want more. A lot more.”

She gasps, and another jolt of need zaps through me.

“Will you want more, too?” I know the answer, though. I can feel her pulse racing against my grip, see her body slowly writhing against me.

“Yes,” she whispers. “All of it. Anything.”

I should take her back to bed. Fuck her senseless. Spank her first, of course. Then fuck her red bottom until she comes on my cock in a slippery mess.

Except now we’ve headed in a different direction, one with rules. I clear my throat. “We need to discuss limits.”

“Okay.” A breathy, perfect response.

I grin down at her. “What are yours?”

She blinks. “I don’t know.”

That trips me up. “Pardon?”

She shrugs, and her too-big t-shirt slides dangerously low on her chest. I could get completely distracted by her freckles.

I want to count every single dot on her body.

And I will, but later. First, we need to get some boundaries clearly set out so I don’t fucking break her perfect little self.

“I can’t imagine anything I wouldn’t let you do to me,” she whispers.

I growl. For real, out loud, I make a feral noise that’s half outrage, because what the fuck, that’s not okay. And half, holy fuck, because it’s also everything I’ve ever dreamed of. “That’s fucking hot,” I say, my voice full of grit and want. And control. Somehow, I hold the fuck onto that. “But everyone has limits.”

“Really?” she asks. “Because I’ve thought about, like, everything, and if you’re doing it, it sounds awesome.”

I’m pretty sure my control is about to go out the fucking window. “Tell me.”

“I want you to fuck me. Like, rough. Hard. Out of control. Pull my hair, spank me, even put your hand around my throat. Use…things on me. Uh…ropes sound cool.” She inhales quickly. “Tie me to a fucking chair, and force your big, fat cock into my wet, little mouth.”

Sweet, glorious Meadow. I step back so she can see me fully, and I drag her hands down to press against my cock, hard and heavy in my jeans. “That was very brave,” I tell her. “And an excellent list.” Then I catch her by her waist and swing her into the air. I grunt as she squeaks in protest. “Get your hot little ass into my lap for the rest of this conversation.”

She buries her face into my neck, her hair bouncing against my face. She smells like vanilla.

Of course I thought she was too pure for my depraved brand of filth.

And of course I was wrong.

“You deserve a redo on this,” I say as I move us to the couch in front of the fireplace. “On the whole God damn thing. You deserve for me to say something when we first met. I didn’t do that.”

“I didn’t either.”

“Good. We’re both on the same equal footing. I’ve heard that’s important in relationships.”

I sit down and arrange her in my lap so I can see her face. “I want to do everything you said. I like pushing my partners a little bit out of their mind, freeing them to feel a blissful combination of nothing and everything. But that line is different for everyone, and sometimes different at any given time. I have a hard limit on blood play, for example.”

Her eyes go wide. “That’s a limit for me, too, I guess.”

“See?”

“I know you have more experience with this than I do,” she murmurs, her cheeks turning pink. “I guess I just got excited.”

“I like excited. And I don’t want to bog us down with rules. Sex doesn’t need to follow any kind of script. But talking about it can be hot. It can also be…” I think back to earlier, how I hustled out of her bed. “Vulnerable,” I admit. “Like before. I got my back up about you keeping stuff from me. But you had your reasons, and the more I think about that, the more I understand. I want to understand, anyway.”

“There’s nothing more to it,” she says, her voice small. “I made a rash decision in the moment, and then hid it as we became friends. After a while, I resigned myself to just being friends, and it didn’t matter.”

“What about the last week?”

She makes a small, helpless sound, and her eyes well up. “I wanted tonight, too. The kinky street party, the dirty costume. You didn’t see me like that. You thought I was adorable.”

Ah, fuck me. “I see what I did there, little one. I’m sorry for that.”

“So we both have things to make up for,” she says softly.

I cup her face in my hand. “Yeah.”

The smile she gives me is beyond sweet. It’s perfect. And then—because she’s also filthy—she wiggles her ass in my lap.

“Are we done talking again, Meadow? Do you want me to take you over my knee?” I say it as evenly as I can. The answer might be no.

She nods and wiggles again, and yes, I’m done talking.

And that promised spanking might just be what we both need right now.

I flip her over my knee and slide the t-shirt up over her curvy bottom. Her skin is so pale, a perfect canvas. I rub my palm over one cheek, squeezing and tapping until it pinkens. She squirms beautifully in my lap, letting out adorable little mewling noises and my already aching cock is straining against my jeans, eager to be inside her tight little body again.

I continue peppering her skin with light smacks, and once I’m satisfied her ass is properly warmed up, I lay down my first real strike.

She tilts her hips forward into my thigh as she releases a long, low moan.

As I mark her entire bottom with my palm, she continues to rock against my leg.

I’ve spanked people before. I’ve played it bossy, I’ve let it be pure sex. It’s never been quite like this before. Both punishment and redemeption, erotic and free and controlled all at the same time.

“Do you want to come, little one?” I ask.

“Oh God, yes, please.”

I scoop her up and carry her to the bedroom where I peel her shirt up and off her delectable little body. She gives me a silly, half-buzzy smile as I step back to undress again.

This time, I won’t be getting dressed again until tomorrow.

Tonight, I want to feel her skin against mine all night long. I want to fuck her senseless and make her come so hard she sees stars. I want to fall into a deep, happy sleep with her wrapped in my arms. And in the morning, we’ll keep talking.

There’s so much still to discover.

No more secrets.

When I pull my shirt over my head, I realize I’m grinning, too. Maybe we’re both a bit spun-out on this whirlwind of a night.

“Hey,” she says, giggling.

“Do something for me,” I say quietly as I palm another condom and sit on the edge of the bed. “Do one of those ballet pirouette things, little one. I want a good look.”

Pleasure blooms over her face, and she lifts up onto her toes, turning slowly, letting me drink in the beauty that is mine to touch and tease and torment.

And love.

Halfway through her second revolution I drag her onto the bed because I’m naked and all out of patience.

Crawling between her legs, I rise up big and tall, and make a show of rolling on the condom.

“You know what I thought when I saw you this evening in your costume? You looked like a king,” she says softly. “I like that. My king. You look pretty regal right now, in a brutish, fuck-me kind of way.”

“I’ll be whatever you want,” I tell her with a growl as I cover her body with mine. I lace my fingers with hers and slide our hands above her head. I push my cock deep inside her as I press my lips to hers. She opens to me, and I lick into her mouth, fucking it with my tongue.

I’ll be her king. She can be my queen. And my little one. My sweet, adorable, sexy Meadow.