“Thanks again, Mrs. Conner. Amber will help you pick out your frames up front and get you set up with whatever you need.”

“You’re welcome, Dr. Cree.” I leave my patient with Amber and head back to my office. A few emails are waiting for me on my laptop, but I ignore them as I pull up Mrs. Conner’s records and finish inputting the notes from our visit that I didn’t want to take the time to do while in the exam room with her.

While I’m typing, my phone vibrates in my pocket. I fish it out, turning the screen toward me and unlocking it. A message from Johnny is waiting for me.

I hope you’re having a good day.

His text brings a smile to my face. Johnny and I have been having a lot of fun over the past few weeks. And he’s exactly what I’ve needed in my life. Something is definitely building between the two of us but I’m almost afraid to put a label on it. Johnny has been the man I’ve been wishing I could find for so long now.

A smile covers my face as I send a message reflecting the same sentiment and then turn back toward my day’s tasks.

It’s funny how quickly my days seem to go now. Nothing about my work has changed, but the reason I have to get through it has. Knowing I get to see Johnny after work has me breezing through my morning, all the while anxiously awaiting the fun we’ll have later this evening. Never in a million years did I think I would find someone who could be so amazing in the bedroom and still be a person I can relate to outside of the bedroom.

And Johnny is an excellent partner in both. Which surprises me. Since I first met Johnny at The Vault, I’ve always found him attractive. But never did I think he would be such a willing sub. In fact, I think that side of his personality is as much of a surprise to him as it’s been to me. His constant need for control in his real life brings him to his knees in the bedroom. And he’s just what I need when I’m tired of trying to pacify everyone I come into contact with all day long. The two of our lives seem to intertwine perfectly.

I just hate everything that Johnny’s been having to go through at work lately. He’s started to open up to me about it, but he’s still carrying a lot of that burden. Of course, my own life seems far less complicated after talking with him about the stuff that goes down in his work every day. My biggest issues are complaining customers and little old ladies who think someone’s trying to steal their car.

At least no one is pulling for my constant attention or trying to do bodily harm to another at my vision center. It’s no wonder that Johnny needs a bit of escape from his everyday life. And I’m happy he’s chosen me to release his stress with.

But it’s not just in the bedroom. Our evening walks and going out to dinner before he goes to work brings a world of joy into my life. After Johnny opened up the other night, I hope it means he feels the same way about me. I finish typing my notes and head home to get ready for him.

I’m just about to head out to meet him when my phone rings.

Johnny’s name shines brightly on the screen, bringing a smile that probably reaches all the way to my eyes. I hope he’s not bailing on our night together. Sliding my finger across the screen to answer gives me a second to steel my voice. “Hey, Johnny.”

The other end of the line is quiet except for a heavy breathing.

“Johnny? Hello?” I listen carefully, wondering if he accidently butt dialed me.

Then a faint whimper has my neck hairs standing on end. “Ro-Ronin.” It’s Johnny’s voice, but I can’t tell if he’s just out of breath or hurt.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Nothing. He doesn’t respond, pushing me into full-fledged rescue mode. “Baby, I’m on my way to The Vault. I’ll be right there. Don’t leave.”

I keep the phone to my ear, afraid that Johnny will feel abandoned if I hang up. I don’t even bother to lock the doors or set the alarm as I hit the door, pushing it open and stepping out into the cool evening air.

When I start my car, my phone automatically swaps over to the Bluetooth speaker, so I call out to Johnny again. “I’m coming for you, baby. Don’t hang up.”

A thousand horrible fates flash in front of my eyes as I try not to imagine Johnny taking his final breaths while I’m trying to get to his location. Does anyone around him even know what’s going on? I consider calling Tanner or one of the other guys to see if they know what’s wrong. But I don’t want to hang up on Johnny. I don’t want the last thing he thinks of me is that I abandoned him in his time of need.

Ignoring all traffic laws, I fly down the highway, praying that I don’t come across any cops. The Vault isn’t too far outside of the city, so it doesn’t take a long time to get there, but every second that passes feels like a lifetime as I hear sounds of whimpering and tears flowing from the man I love.

Love… Is that right?

Yes, it is. I love Johnny.

And the thought of losing him now is too much to bear. He has to be okay. I’ll do everything in my power to make sure he’s fine. Because that’s what you do for the person you love. Even though we haven’t said it to each other yet because our relationship is so new, I’m more and more confident he feels the same way.

By the time I pull into The Vault’s parking lot, the place seems a bit more abandoned than I normally see it. Of course, I’m usually making my visits during late at night and on weekends, but still, the lack of vehicles in the lot makes me suspicious. It seems out of character and makes me worried something bad has happened.

“Johnny, I’m here. I’m coming to find you.” Grabbing my phone from the passenger seat, I turn off the engine and hop out of my car. As soon as the front door opens, several somber faces greet me. I immediately scan the room, finding Tanner in the corner. He nods once, as though he knows exactly why I’m here, and points to the doorway that leads to his private office.

I pound the floor to get through the building and open the office door to find Johnny, the phone still against his ear and his face in his hands. Tears are have streaked his face, and he’s hyperventilating slightly.

“I… I can’t…” His voice is barely audible as fresh tears begin to flow.

Instantly, I take a seat next to him on the small couch and wrap my arms around him.

“I’m here, baby. I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere.” Several minutes pass while he cries into my shoulder. Still not knowing what’s wrong, I hold him and wait for him to regain his composure.

A knock on the door is the only thing that interrupts us as Tanner sticks his head through the door. “Hey, how’s he doing?”

Tightening my grip around him, I look up to Tanner. “What happened?”

Tanner drops his shoulders and a sad look overtakes his features. “One of the new guys committed suicide. Johnny found him in one of the rooms. He’d slit his wrists.”

A whimper comes from the huge form sitting beside me and my heart sinks. Johnny had been stressed about so much going on, and he mentioned having concerns about one of the new guys. He just didn’t know how to help.

“Johnny…” Tanner begins softly. “This was not your fault, and there was nothing you could have done to change it.”

Johnny doesn’t pull away from me, still resting in the comfort of my arms. “Jason came forward and said Mitchell has been having problems...problems that started before he came to The Vault.” Tanner turns his focus on me. “I hate that I can’t help all of them. But we get a lot of troubled young men who come here looking for a safe haven. Usually, we can provide that, and the situation works out for everyone… But there are a few instances where it just doesn’t happen.”

I nod in understanding, knowing this must be tough on Tanner. I can’t even imagine how Johnny feels. Despite Tanner’s words, I know Johnny is blaming himself.

A voice from the other side of the door pulls Tanner’s attention. When he turns back to us, he meets my gaze. “I’m going to close down for the next week. Johnny, take some time off and recoup. And please remember, this isn’t your fault.”

“Is it okay if I take him home now?”

Tanner nods sadly and excuses himself to talk with one of the other employees who has come to ask a question. “Come on, baby,” I say, lifting Johnny to a standing position. “Let’s get you home.”

A full day passes before I can get a word from Johnny. The entire night and day has been spent in bed. And I’ve been right by his side the entire time. His soft words of “thank you” are the first I hear and they sound so sweet.

“How are you feeling?” I ask, hoping he’s allowed some of the burden of what’s happened to be relinquished from his shoulders.

He shrugs and turns to face me in the bed. “I don’t know…”

I rake my fingers through his hair and glide my hand down his cheek. “Baby, this wasn’t your fault. You have to know it.”

“It’s my job to protect them. I’m supposed to keep them safe.” The hurt and blame he places on himself is evident in his tone.

“Johnny, listen to me. You can only protect them from what they need protection from. From the bad guys, the rogue clients, the environment. But you cannot protect them from something you have no control over. You can’t protect them from themselves.”

“But I should be able to. I should’ve seen this coming. I was too busy...and I didn’t realize…” His eyes gloss with moisture as fresh tears threaten to spill, but I brush his lids with the tips of my fingers and quiet him.

“You can’t do everything.”

“I know,” he admits softly. “But I wish I could have done something. Mitchell deserved better. He was trying to make a better life for himself.”

“And despite the outcome, you’ll never know what difference you made in his life. Just because things don’t turn out the way we think they should, doesn’t mean we didn’t impact someone’s life.”

“That’s very wise.” Johnny’s lip finally curls up and he gives me a jovial punch. I’m glad to see he’s starting to get back to himself.

I shake my head. “I am a doctor, you know.”

“My doctor,” Johnny says with a sense of ownership that sends a spike of pleasure straight to my cock. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

I study his eyes, and a wealth of heartache and happiness swirl together beneath the surface. But beneath it all, there’s also a glimmer of hope, of a love that’s dying to come forth from the abyss where it’s been buried away for so long.

“I love you, Johnny. Of course, I’ll take care of you.”

Johnny swallows, almost acting as though he didn’t hear me correctly. “You love me?”

“Yes.” I look right into his eyes and lean forward to kiss his lips. He opens them for me, allowing me free rein to explore every inch of his warm mouth. When I pull back, I search his expression.

His eyes are alight with fire burning behind them. “I love you too.” The words are the best he could possibly say to me.

Reciprocating my love for him is not something I thought I needed, but now that he’s said it, I realize how desperately I wanted to know that he feels the same way. And this feels right. As though everything in my life is finally coming into alignment. Sure, neither of our lives will be perfect, and I’m sure with Johnny working at The Vault, there will be plenty of troubles for us to deal with in the future.

But knowing we have each other to get us through our rough times makes the burden of our troubles seem less heavy. Because we’ll be in it together.

For the long haul, I hope.