I let my guard down, which was not in the plan. Tonight, when Luis and I were in the pool house, I allowed myself to believe Luis and Marco are completely different.
That was before I saw him fight.
Luis and Marco were on the same side, fighting Justin and some guys from the football team. Luis’s fists were flying, and the worst part about it was that I think he liked it—as if the fight fed some need in him.
I don’t know who started the fight. It doesn’t matter, really. Luis didn’t walk away. Instead, he was the last man standing, ready to take anyone on that would dare challenge him. He didn’t stop until the cops physically restrained him.
And then I saw the drugs on the ground right by his feet.
I can’t be with someone who fights and deals drugs. Marco used to fight so much he’d get suspended. Principal Aguirre says he has a zero tolerance policy, but quickly realized when our class entered Fairfield freshman year that if he gave everyone three strikes and then expelled them, there’d hardly be any students from the south side left. Aguirre still threatens to expel students, but rarely follows through.
I need to force myself to stop thinking about Luis. As I fall into bed after I get home, I can’t help but hate myself for feeling so vulnerable tonight. I let go of my inhibitions and knew what I was doing. But Luis didn’t tell me he was dealing drugs—that’s a game changer.
Sunday morning comes and I wake up hoping Granny has started eating on her own.
“How is Granny doing?” I ask Sue.
“She won’t eat much. She’s definitely depressed.”
I go to her cage and sit with her.
Granny sniffs the air as soon as I open her cage. “Hey, girl,” I say as I reach out and lead her to my lap. “Did you miss me?”
Her answer is a wag of her tail. She looks thin. Too thin.
I pet her behind the ears and she rolls onto her back. When she seems content, I pick up the food in her bowl and hand-feed her. She eats from my hand when I put the food to her nose.
“Want me to take you home?”
She answers by nuzzling her nose into my leg.
“I just have to convince my parents to let me take you,” I tell her.
When I’m home and I tell my parents about Granny, they both say I can’t have her.
“You have too much going on,” Mom says.
“And when you’re off to college, then what?” Dad says.
“But she’s old, and blind, and living in a cage! If you were old and blind, would you want to spend your last days in a cage?” I argue.
Mom pats my hand. “Nikki, we think it’s admirable for you to want to help the dog, but—”
I sigh. “Just … can you meet her? Meet her first, then make a decision, okay? I’m sure she’ll be a great pet, and I know when you take one look at her you’ll have the same opinion that I do about her.”
They both look at me as if I’m pathetic. I know what they’re thinking, that I’m trying to take care of a needy animal because I need to be wanted. We’ve covered this ground before. Maybe they’re right. I can’t help but have a special bond with the less fortunate dogs who come into the shelter—the ones who seem helpless. I root for the underdog, every time.
“I’ll tell you what,” Dad says. “Next weekend, if Granny is still there, your mother and I will go meet her.”
A big grin crosses my face. “That’s awesome! Thanks so much!” I hug both of them.
“We’re making no promises, Nikki.”
“I know, I know.” Well, I do know. Once they see Granny they’ll fall in love with her.
On Monday, the buzz about the fight at Derek’s house, the arrests, and the drugs found by Luis’s feet is running rampant. I can’t walk down any hall without hearing something about Luis, Derek, or Marco.
I get some sideways glances, too. Everyone at school knows Marco and I dated, and some still associate us together.
I avoid eye contact with Luis even when he calls out my name, and during lunch I sit in the library and study for my calculus exam so there’s no chance of meeting with him or Marco. I know I’ll be seeing Luis in chemistry, though.
I time my arrival so I get to chemistry just as the bell rings.
“You can’t ignore me forever,” Luis whispers behind me when Mrs. Peterson instructs us to go to the sink in the back of the room to clean out our test tubes.
“Yes, I can,” I tell him.
“What about Saturday night, in the pool house?”
I freeze, remembering the moment I let go of all my inhibitions. That was a mistake, and the wall is up again. “I’m trying to forget it.”
“You can try, but it’s not gonna work.” He leans closer. “I can’t forget it either, you know.”
His words stir something deep inside me, and I need to lash out at him to push him away. “You know what sucks, though? You starting a fight just minutes later with Justin Dougan and finding out that you were dealing drugs.”
He steps back and weaves a hand through his hair. “Yeah, that was a bummer. You know what sucks even more, though?”
“What?”
“That you’re so desperate to believe everythin’ bad you hear about me. You’re obviously not a supporter of the ‘innocent until proven guilty’ concept.”
“Mr. Fuentes,” Mrs. Peterson calls out. “Stop the chatter. Are you aware there are people in back of you who need to use the sink?”
Luis looks right at our teacher and says, “To be honest, Mrs. P., I don’t really give a shit.”