Everything has changed in the blink of an eye. Luis, me … us. I spent the rest of Saturday night crying in bed, wondering how everything spiraled out of control. Luis’s call in the middle of the night didn’t help. God, how my heart raced when I saw his number come up. I hoped he would tell me that he’d wait for me to open my heart to him, that it didn’t matter how long it took. If he really loved me … Oh, it doesn’t matter. He said it was over.
The problem is that the feelings I had for him, and still have for him, are so intense they scare me. I wanted to make love to him, body and soul, but my fear made me pull away. In the end, all I could give him was my body. It wasn’t good enough.
On Monday I try my hardest to avoid seeing Luis at school, but every time I open my eyes I spot him either at his locker or walking down the hall with friends. He makes no eye contact with me, even in chemistry when we’re facing each other across the lab tables.
“Are you coming to watch the soccer game with me after school?” Kendall asks me after chemistry on Tuesday.
“No. Definitely not,” I tell her.
She stops and gives me one of her pity looks. “Why won’t you tell me what happened Saturday night?”
“Luis and I broke up.”
“I know that part. Want to share why?”
“When I’m ready. I’m just not ready now.”
She sighs. “All right. I’m here for you.”
“You’re always here for me. It’s time you get another best friend who doesn’t carry around so much baggage.”
“Not gonna happen.” She gives me a warm smile. “You’re my inspiration.”
“For what? A drama queen?”
“No. Do you realize how many dogs you’ve helped rescue? You’re the girl that doesn’t give up on the underdog.”
“I feel like I’m the underdog.”
“Then you know never to give up on yourself. You’re stronger than you think you are, Nikki.”
Every minute of every day I’m tempted to text hey to Luis. Or call him, just to hear his voice.
On Wednesday, Mariana and Luis are talking at his locker. They sit next to each other at lunch. In chemistry, he makes a joke and she laughs so hard I think her lungs are going to burst.
On Thursday after school, I’m thankful I’m scheduled to work at the shelter. Being with the dogs will help me get my mind off of Luis.
I check in at the front desk, then head back to the cages. My heart skips a beat when Granny’s cage is empty and the pink identification card is missing from the slot on her cage door.
Did she die in the middle of the night, all alone and scared? Or is she so skinny from not eating they had to take her to the vet? I rush over to Sue in complete panic mode.
“What happened to Granny?” I ask her.
“She was adopted.” The phone rings. “I thought you knew about it,” she says before she answers the call.
How would I know? I didn’t do the paperwork on her. I open the adoption log book and scan the approved applications. When I read the name Granny on top of the latest application my heart swells with happiness that she finally has a home.
Until I look at the bottom of the page at the name of the person who adopted her. Luis Fuentes.
I gasp. “He didn’t.”
“Your friend came in right before we closed last night and adopted her,” one of the other volunteers tells me.
Luis knew I wanted her. How dare he come and snatch her. He took Granny just to spite me. Oh, how could I ever have thought I wanted to be with someone who’d adopt a dog just for revenge?
My mind is in a rage as I spend my assigned time cleaning out cages and walking the dogs. After I clock out, I get in my car and race to Luis’s house.
I knock on the door.
No answer.
I pound on the door.
Still no answer.
I put my ear to the door and hear the television, so I know someone’s got to be home.
I shimmy through the space between the bushes and the front window. I eye Luis sitting on the couch with Granny in his lap, then knock on the glass to get his attention. He looks at me, and I give him the universal sign language for “open the damn door” by pointing to it.
By the time I shimmy back to the front stoop, he’s opened the door. “I puked in those bushes a few days ago. You might want to be careful where you step.”
Eww. I’m careful not to step in anything unidentifiable, but since the bushes are in the way, it’s no use. “I can’t believe you stole my dog.”
“I wouldn’t steal a dog, Nik. How cruel do you think I am?”
“I meant Granny, and you know it.”
“How can I steal a dog I officially adopted at a shelter?”
I narrow my eyes at him. “You knew I wanted her.”
“Yeah, so? You know the sayin’ … you snooze, you lose. You want to hear it in Spanish?”
He’s doing his best to upset me and it’s working. “No. You didn’t even want a dog.”
“I do now. Granny and I are bondin’.” He crosses his fingers. “We’re like this.”
“This whole adopting thing isn’t really about Granny. This is about us.”
“There is no ‘us’ anymore, remember?”
His words sting. “So you steal the one dog at the shelter you know I have a special attachment to just to piss me off and rub it in?”
“Oh, please. You were smotherin’ the poor thing. I didn’t get her for some retaliation against you. There were a few burglaries in the neighborhood and we need a good watchdog.”
“She’s blind, Luis!” I yell. “She can’t watch anything. I don’t even think she can bark. Granny’s got one foot in the grave.”
He pretends like my words are an insult to him and his dog. “Shh, don’t let her hear you say that.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
He shrugs. “Listen, the lady at the shelter approved my application. You got a problem with it, talk to the shelter. I don’t give a shit what you think anymore.”
If I were a cartoon, a big great gust of steam would be coming out of my ears right now. “What about Saturday night, Luis? You told me you loved me.”
“Isn’t that what guys are supposed to say before they screw their girlfriend? I thought it was a prerequisite.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“What do you want me to say, that I want to get back with you just so you could think of another guy while we’re in bed together? No, thanks.”
Granny waddles to the front door. Luis reaches down and picks her up. Seeing him holding her so gently in his arms shows off the warm and caring side he’s trying to hide from me.
“You don’t know what I think about, Luis. And don’t tell me you weren’t keeping secrets from me. You were obviously doing something shady for that Chuy guy. I know he wasn’t recruiting you to join the Boy Scouts. I chose to ignore all the warning signs and trust you. You lied to me, didn’t you? You keep more secrets than the Pentagon.”
“I lie to everyone. It’s no big deal.”
“It’s a big deal to me.” I point to his arm. “That didn’t happen in the garage. You were in a knife fight.”
“Wrong. Try gunfight.” He puts Granny on the grass so she can waddle around and he holds his hands up. “Okay, fine. You got me. You’re lookin’ at the newest Latino Blood recruit, baby. I’ve been dealin’ drugs and gangbangin’ with Marco behind your back. That’s my secret. What’s yours?”
I swallow and prepare myself to reveal the truth. It doesn’t matter anymore, so why are tears running down my face? I wish I could hold them back, but I can’t. I’m angry, I’m hurt, I’m sad … He’s just like Marco. I tried to deny it, but the truth slaps me in the face.
“I was pregnant with Marco’s baby the day he broke up with me.” Luis steps back, shock written all over his face. “I lost the baby right after we left Alex’s wedding and I almost died. This thing coming between us wasn’t about me and Marco!” I yell, getting riled up now. “It was about trust. And in the back of my head I knew you were lying to me about the Blood. Don’t blame me for holding back, Luis. I was almost ready to let go and try to trust again. It took me a while, and I wasn’t really good at it, but at least I was trying, which is more than I can say for you. It was you who was holding back all along.” I pull the meteorite out of my purse. “Maybe I couldn’t say it yet, but I tried to show you how much I cared.” Tears stream down my cheeks as I chuck the meteorite into the street.
I expect him to go running after it, but he doesn’t. His eyes are fixed on me.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he says softly. He reaches out to me.
I whack his hand away. “Don’t you dare touch me ever again!”