I sit in front of the shop for ten minutes, thinking about the three unanswered calls I sent Coder yesterday. I tell myself that he could have been busy—that he works with his hands, and that he could have been in the middle of a session. I tell myself that if he wanted to cancel our plans for this afternoon, he would have. A call. A text. A carrier pigeon. Something. He would have said something. But he didn’t, which means that I should go inside.
When I finally work up the courage, I slowly climb out of my car, mentally sorting through the last twenty-four hours. I try and remember all the things I have planned to say to Coder, all the ways in which I intend to explain to him that I’m not ashamed of him or what we have, but that it’s the opposite. I want him to understand that I’ve been trying to protect us.
I don’t know what to expect when I open the front door, the bell alerting the person behind the front counter that I’m here. Having not spoken to Coder since Sunday, I don’t now how he’s feeling; therefore, I don’t know if he’s told anyone what happened after we left family dinner. When I see Trevor look up at me, I brace myself for the worst. I’m surprised when he greets me with a warm smile.
“’Sup, Kenzie? Coder’s free in the back.”
I force a smile and a nod before I manage a feeble thanks. I then spend my trip to Coder’s room wondering if things aren’t quite as bad as I imagined them to be.
When I arrive at my destination, I breathe in a deep, fortifying breath, blowing it out slowly as I cross the threshold. My eyes search the room for Coder, finding him not at his desk, but in the far corner of the room, sorting and stocking new supplies in their appropriate cabinets. Making my way toward him, my heart hurts, thinking how different this last bout of silence felt in comparison to the others. It’s not unusual for him to go a day without speaking to me. Our schedules don’t always mesh, and it’s happened before, where neither of us reaches out to the other—but never after an argument or a misunderstanding.
I reach out my hand when I’m close enough to touch him, trailing my fingers down his spine to catch his attention. He looks over his shoulder at me, his eyes taking in my face for a moment. Then he informs me, “Lunch will be here in a bit.”
“You—you ordered lunch?”
“Yeah, babe. Said I would.”
“I just thought maybe you were…” I lose my words as he studies me with a blank expression. I wish I knew what he was thinking. I can’t tell at all, and it’s making me anxious. If I’m to go by Trevor’s greeting, it’s apparent that he hasn’t confided in anyone lately; but I can feel that something isn’t right between us.
“Come ‘ere,” he mutters, righting his head.
I set my purse down and quickly slide out of my coat, folding it on top of my bag for the moment before I situate myself just beside him. I squeal in surprise when he turns and grabs hold of my hips, lifting me up and spinning me around until my butt hits the counter beside the sink. Once I’m seated, he makes room for himself between my legs, leaving his hands around my hips.
He gives me a squeeze as he asks, “Did you tell her?”
My stomach drops and my breath gets caught in my throat, making it difficult to speak. When I shake my head no, he frees a loud sigh.
“I don’t want to play games, Mack. I don’t want to be your dirty little secret, either.”
Finding my voice, I blurt out, “You’re not!” I reach my hands up and wrap my fingers around the back of his neck. “It’s not like that. I told you—at least, I tried to tell you—when she met you, she decided she wanted you. She told me about you. Before I knew your name, before I knew that we’d both met you at that frat party, she went on and on about you. Then when we came here together, I just knew I didn’t have a chance. Not against Brooke. It’s Brooke! She gets what she wants. Sometimes without even trying. It’s the Brooke way.”
“Maybe I missed something. My bad. Thought I made it pretty clear who I wanted.”
“It’s not you,” I insist, sliding my fingers up into his hair. He leans closer to me, and I lean into him as I explain, “I’ve seen Brooke chase after a guy before. She’s a good person, she is, but she can be blindly selfish sometimes. We’ve never liked the same guy before, but I’ve seen her battle it out with other girls. It’s hard to watch, and I…I didn’t want to be that girl. She’s my best friend, and I didn’t want to have to compete with her.”
“Don’t do that, Mack.”
I stare into his soulful eyes, eyes so dark and warm—like pools of rich, smooth, decadent chocolate—and I know that I’m falling in love with him. I know that I never want to lose this feeling—the feeling of his stare, of his hands on my body, of my hands on his. I know that I never want to lose him. He’s so good to me, and I want to be good to him. So after a pause, I ask, “Don’t do what?”
“Buy into the lie that you’d ever have to compete for me.” I breathe a sigh of relief, my insides going squishy as I pull him closer. He touches his forehead to mine as he continues to speak, his voice low and rumbly. “I make my own choices, babe. You might have both met me that night, but I met both of you, too. Get me?”
“Yes,” I whisper.
“Good. So, are you gonna tell her?”
Gripping his hair in my fists, I force a nod, his head moving with mine.
He squeezes my hips before he murmurs, “Rigs gets into town Friday. Party Saturday. You can tell her with me at your back if you want.”
“Really?” I breathe, feeling even more relieved.
“Babe—you need me at your back, all you’ve got to do is ask.”
Yup. I’m definitely falling in love with this man.
I feel a blush crawl into my cheeks as I tilt my head back slightly, causing my lips to brush against his before I whisper, “That means a lot to me, honey.”
He grunts, pulling me toward him until my hips kiss his as he mutters, “I like that.”
“Like what?”
“Hearing you call me honey.”
A shy smile pulls at my lips, my belly tingling in excitement as I whisper, “Honey?”
“Yeah, babe?”
“Mouth.”
He chuckles, which makes me giggle, and then he silences me with his tongue. He kisses me long and hard, taking ownership of my mouth. I let him have it, enjoying the taste of him. When I lift my legs around his hips, locking my ankles at his back, he groans and pulls me closer.
“Here’s a tip for you.”
Startled, I jump in Coder’s arms, pulling away from him before we both look over his shoulder and spot Trevor in the doorway.
“Lock the door, turn the music up, keep your woman quiet, and no one’ll know.”
I can hear the smile in Coder’s voice when he asks, “What if I don’t want her quiet?”
My cheeks warm as Trevor laughs, lifting up his backwards ball cap before shoving it back over his hair. As he starts to turn away, he tells us, “Your food is here. Come pay the man.”
Without a word, Coder claps his hand against my thigh lightly, signaling me to let him go. I drop my legs and he smashes a kiss against my lips before he turns away from me. I totally check him out as he leaves to fetch our food.
“Kenz! You home?” calls out Brooke before she even shuts the front door behind her.
I laugh, looking over at her from where I sit on the couch as I say, “Yup.”
“Oh, shit,” she giggles, closing out the cold before she drops all of her things and comes to sit next to me on the couch. “Guess what we’re doing this weekend?”
I force a smile, knowing two things to be true. First, that I’m spending my entire weekend with Coder. Saturday, after I hang out with the kids at the hospital, I work a short shift at the drug store, and then I’ll be headed to Coder’s house for the party. Then on Sunday, he told me he wanted me to come to family dinner with him again. It means so much to me that he wants me there. I get goose pimples every time I think about it.
The second thing I know is that Coder and his roommates sent out a bunch of texts today, informing people that the party is on. I’m pretty sure I know what Brooke is about to tell me, but that’s not what makes me nervous. It’s the fact that in two days, I’m going to be telling her the truth about Coder and me—a truth that I’m still not sure how she’ll take.
“Um, are you talking about Coder’s party?” I ask, reaching up to tuck some hair behind my ear.
“Oh, yeah. So you got the text, too. We’re going,” she insists, fixing me with a look that clearly states this is not negotiable. “And you’re drinking. It’s been a month since you’ve partied, and I have not pushed you. This time, I totally am. So, say it with me—Yes, Brooke, I’m going to the party.”
I cough out a laugh as I tell her, “Yes, Brooke, I’m going to the party.”
“Fantastic!” she cheers with a grin. “I’ll get Owen to take us.”
My smile falls as I offer her a lame nod, thinking back to the last time I spoke with Owen. We haven’t spoken since, and I know it’s because of what I said to him. We never talk about his feelings for Brooke. It’s an unspoken rule, one that I broke.
“Kenz, do you know what this means?!” she exclaims, pulling me from my thoughts.
I feign my excitement as I ask, “What’s that?”
Throwing herself back on the couch, she gushes, “I finally get to make my play for Coder. God—I feel like I’ve been waiting forever. Did you know that when I went to the shop to have Pete look at my piercing, Coder wasn’t even there? I was so bummed.”
My stomach drops, and I suddenly don’t feel so well. It bothers me, listening to her talk about Coder like that. I know that it’s my fault, but still. It makes me want to tell her everything right now—but then I remember that Coder said that he would have my back on Saturday. I want him with me when I tell her. I want her to see how happy I am; how happy he makes me. Nevertheless, to say nothing right now—I just can’t. So instead of the truth, I simply ask, “Brooke, what if he’s taken?”
Propping herself up on her elbows, she knits her eyebrows together and mutters, “Taken?”
“Yeah, as in, what if he’s already seeing someone else?”
“Oh, Kenzie,” she sighs, laying back down as she stares up at the ceiling. “That’s an obstacle I’ll face when I get there.” I frown, wishing her answer was different. Then she goes on to say, “I know his kind, babe. I’ve played this game before.”
“And what kind is he?”
“Oh, come on, Kenz—you can tell just by looking at him. He doesn’t play by the rules—which means he hangs on until something better comes along, and then he moves on—no qualms about it. If he’s taken, I’ll just have to prove that I’m better. Simple as that.”
I bite my lip as I shake my head and then start to gather my things. I can’t do this right now. I’ve got homework to finish, and I can’t focus with her sitting next to me plotting how she intends to steal Coder from me.
“Where are you going?” she asks, looking up at me as I stand.
Feeling just irritated enough to say something about it, I tell her, “You know, there are plenty of guys out there that would love to have you. You don’t have to go stealing someone else’s.”
“What? Kenz, come back!” she pleads as I start to walk away.
“I’ve got homework.”
“Hon—wait, did something happen?” She gasps before she asks, “Oh, my gosh—are you into someone? Did we switch topics without me knowing it? Kenz! Come back.”
“Not now, Brooke,” I mumble.
“Fine. But I’m going to find out who he is! Mark my words.”
Oh, Lord, help me.