One Year Later…
I breathe out a slow sigh, looking down at my Oregon sandstone engagement ring, lit only by the dim light above the kitchen sink. Gripping my fingers around the basin’s edge, I wonder what I was thinking. This was such a terrible idea. I’m so stressed out and overwhelmed, I’m exhausted; and yet, I’ve never had so much trouble sleeping.
Reaching out to turn on the tap, I let the water run cool before I wet my fingers. Lifting my hair, I trace the tips across my neck as I inhale deeply and exhale slowly, willing myself to relax. When I feel Coder’s hands graze the bare skin of my upper thighs, I bring my hair to one shoulder and let my chin fall until it touches my chest. He skims his fingers under his t-shirt that I’m wearing, inching up the fabric to uncover my nakedness before he splays his hands across my belly, pulling me back against his bare chest.
“It’s almost three in the morning, Mack,” he mumbles, tucking his nose between my shoulder and my neck.
“I can’t sleep. My mind is just—I can’t get it to shut up. I don’t know why I did this. It was a stupid, stupid idea. What was I thinking?” My head snaps up as I scrunch my brow and ask, “What were you thinking? Why did you let me do this?”
“Don’t,” he grunts, forcing my body to turn so that I’m facing him. His thumbs press slow circles against the sides of my waist as he semi repeats, “Don’t do that.”
“Don’t do what?”
“Don’t act like it’s not going to be great, because it is. Every part of it. And if things don’t go exactly as we planned, fuck it. Who cares? At the end of the day, you’ll be a Bishop, babe. You’ll be my Bishop.”
I groan, curling myself against his chest as I try and let his words penetrate through my worry. This weekend is going to be insane, and it’s all my fault. For some reason, I thought it would be a great idea to celebrate my graduation with a wedding. I figured, family would be in town, we could kill two birds with one stone. Coder and I wanted to be married before I started grad school, and I didn’t want to get married in the middle of the senior year of my undergrad, so this summer was the ideal time. It seemed silly to have Beckham and Addie fly in from Tennessee, and Grayson and Avery from Illinois one month, only to have them come back one or two months later. They all have jobs; and with Beckham in the middle of his residency, I couldn’t ask him to make two trips. So—later today, I walk; Friday will be last minute wedding errands; Saturday is our rehearsal dinner, and then Sunday is our big day.
And I am the insane woman who came up with this stupid, stupid plan.
“I need you to listen to me,” he says, holding the back of my head as he speaks into my hair.
“’Kay.”
“Both of our moms have done this before. You’ve got Willow and Brooke—hell, you’re surrounded by people who have all been where we’re going. We’re the last to join the club, babe—know what that means?”
“What?” I whisper, circling my arms around his hips.
“You don’t have to worry about the slack. They’ll all be around to pick it up.”
“You’re right. I know you’re right.”
“So come to bed. You’ve got a big day today.”
I offer him a nod, not sure that I’ll actually get any sleep, but feeling tired enough to try. Taking my hand, he leads me to the bedroom through our dark house. He climbs into bed, slipping between the sheets and settling on his back. I crawl in after him, snuggling my body against the length of his side.
“Come ‘ere, babe. Give me all you got,” he insists. Grabbing behind my knee, he hitches my leg up, hooking it around his hips. Giggling, I plaster my chest against his, reaching my hand around to rest on his opposite side as I press my cheek against his shoulder. He traces his fingers up and down the length of my thigh, and I close my eyes, focusing all my thoughts on his touch.
As I finally begin to relax, it dawns on me that in three days, the man who wakes up in the middle of the night to check on me—he will be my husband. It’s the last thought I have before sleep graciously pulls me under.
The crowd that has gathered in honor of my achievement seems to take up half of the restaurant. My parents, Coder’s parents, Addie and Avery’s parents, and the Generation Ink crew are all here. We’re loud, complete with men who aren’t afraid to drink and get a little rowdy at three in the afternoon, toddlers that can’t sit still, and screaming babies who are more than ready for a nap. Yet, even in the midst of all the noise, I’m lost in the pair of bright green eyes that stare up at me. The little girl in my arms is more beautiful than any picture could capture. She makes my heart melt every time she smiles at me.
“Earth to Kenzie,” calls out Avery as she tugs on a tendril of my hair.
“What?” I lift my gaze to find hers, then remember that we were talking. “Oh, my gosh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to zone out on you—but this baby! Avery, she’s amazing.”
“It’s her eyes,” she replies with a knowing grin. “Her daddy’s eyes. They suck you in every time.”
“That’s exactly it.” Looking down at her once more, I murmur, “You’re going to be a heartbreaker, Charlee. Poor Grayson.”
“Okay, I’m back,” announces Addie as she fills the seat on the other side of me. “I swear this little boy just sits on my bladder all day, every day. Quick—tell me what I missed before I have to pee again.”
I laugh, looking over at Avery’s carbon copy. I’ve been able to tell the difference between them for a while now, but to anyone who might be meeting them for the first time this weekend, we’re fondly referring to Addie as the knocked-up twin. Her and my brother just found out that she’s carrying my second nephew, and I’m so excited to see her round with child.
Well, technically, their little bun in the oven is only my first nephew until the law says otherwise and I become a Bishop—then baby Willis will be my second, and Pete and Willow’s first born will be my first. Looking down the table, I spot Dalton in Pete’s lap, happily banging his plastic toy against the table while Pete sips at his beer and laughs with Harvey (who is also on daddy-duty with Rosalie curled up against his chest) and Trevor (who is coloring with Caroline as he chats.) I smile at the sight of my favorite drool monster. Like all of the other Ink crew babies, he’s already my family. Has been since the day he was born.
“Kenzie!” calls out Addie, pulling me from my thoughts. I shift my gaze to find her laughing at me. “Sweetie, I think a nap is in your future. A very long nap.”
“You’re kidding right? I don’t have time for a nap. I’m getting married this weekend.”
“Kenz,” Avery starts to say, resting a hand on my knee. “If you don’t get a nap, you might zone out while reciting your vows. You have the attention span of a two-year-old right now.”
“Two! I’m two!” shouts Savannah from her seat just on the other side of Avery.
“Yes, I know, Vanny!” Avery gasps. “You’re getting so big!”
“Big sissy,” she announces, pointing at herself.
Daphne chuckles, running her fingers through Savannah’s blonde curls as she cradles baby Raleigh in the crook of her arm. “Yes, you are a big sissy. You’re mommy’s little helper, too, aren’t you?”
“Mmhmm,” she hums with a nod before returning her attention to the coloring sheet in front of her.
“Mommy’s little helper so long as Axel’s not in the room,” I murmur, earning me a laugh from both Daphne and Grace.
“My girl,” says Daphne with a shake of her head. “Boy crazy already.”
“Okay, Kenzie—focus,” insists Avery as she gives my knee another squeeze. “You were telling me about the program at UNC.”
“Right,” I shake my head clear and find my focus, smiling when I think about my academic future. “It’s going to be a really great fit. Or, at least, I hope it will be. I’ll be studying to get my Master of Science in Nursing, specializing in oncology. The commute will be new for me, but it’s only about a half an hour one way, so I’ll get used to it.”
“That’s actually kind of perfect. I mean, look at Beckham—he took my sister all the way to Texas so he could finish school, and then moved again to start his internship.”
“Yeah. I know. I was really fortunate. It all worked out perfectly, and I’m really excited.”
Looking back, I can honestly say that my decision to become a nurse instead of a doctor was one of the best choices I could have made for myself for so many reasons. I’m anxiously anticipating the next two years—sure that I’ll have to work hard, but appreciative of the fact that it’s only another two years instead of four with the addition of an internship and a residency that could have taken me anywhere. This way, I’ll get to work in my field a whole lot sooner, and I can hardly wait.
It’s also more than that. Everything else has fallen into place just right. The University of Northern Colorado has a nursing school with a great reputation; the program they offer along with the location made it my top pick. When I got my acceptance letter, I didn’t even consider any of the other schools I got into. I really didn’t want to move away from my life here, especially not after Coder and I got engaged and started creating a home for ourselves.
This is who we are. Together. All of these people, family by blood, marriage, or ink, they are part of us just as much as we are part of them. Sitting at this noisy table, I know that the next few days will be packed full of craziness with every one of them in attendance. I’m also sure that I will be exhausted beyond belief by Monday; but I’m without a doubt that I wouldn’t have it any other way. This is my life—my life that I love.
I don’t know what happened to the girl who used to cling to the wall, too timid, too shy, and too insecure to chase after what she wanted. What I do know is that I’m not her anymore. I am the girl I want to be.