I sat in my car and tried not to cry. The words of Kyle’s song kept running through my mind.
Where are you – where are you now?
It’s tearing me apart.
Where are you – where are you now?
You’re breaking my heart.
I didn’t want to believe he’d written that about me. This was a man who could have any woman he wanted, and probably did. He was already involved with Natasha White, and whoever Wendy was, she was obviously important enough to him to have her name permanently engraved on his skin.
I shouldn’t have let him kiss me. I was insane to even be thinking about Kyle in any way other than professionally. Sure, we’d had amazing sex, but that was three months ago, and I found it hard to believe that he was still holding on to it. Why would he?
Why was I?
I buried my face in my hands. Because he’d been wonderful. And not just the sex. He played the piano beautifully, he hadn’t been upset with me when I basically threw a bucket of water in his face, and he’d even rinsed the dishes after breakfast. What kind of man does that, anyway? And what kind of woman was I, to fall for a man who was already in a relationship with his female lead?
An idiot, that’s what kind.
I took a deep breath and gripped the wheel until my knuckles turned white. I wouldn't let this happen. Kyle had been a one-time thing, and now that I knew who he was, I’d be stupid to let myself fall in love with him. I’d had enough heartbreak for a whole lifetime.
But he’d written a song about us.
My heart felt like it was about to break in half. I didn’t want to let go. I didn’t want to let him go. When the job was over, and I wasn’t around him any more, maybe it would be easier. For now, I’d just have to bury my feelings for him. Forget his kisses. Forget the way he said my name. Forget how the feel of his strong arms around me made me feel cherished. Loved. Safe.
Because he was already involved with someone, and the sooner I got that through my thick head, the happier I’d be. I blew out a hard breath. We shouldn’t have kissed. He shouldn’t have kissed me.
Anger was safer than self-pity.
My phone chimed, and I glanced down at it. It was nine twenty-five. Time to go back into the dragon’s lair. I slowly got out of my car and walked up the drive. Natasha White was coming out of the house, her blonde hair bouncing on her shoulders. I tried not to be too envious of her slender figure and dark skin.
She stopped me at the bottom of the steps. The look she gave me would have cut steel.
“So, you’re the new road wife,” she said, eyeing me like a piece of meat in a butcher’s shop.
“Personal assistant,” I corrected.
She snorted. “There’s a difference?”
“I don’t fuck the boss,” I snapped.
She smirked. “Good. Because he’s mine.” She poked me in the shoulder with a slender finger. Her nails were sharp, but I bit back my discomfort. “So hands off.”
I lifted my chin a little. “Suits me,” I said. “I don’t like getting dirt under my fingernails.”
Natasha looked at me with disgust. “He’s worth more than three of you put together.”
I smiled sweetly. “Value is no indicator of quality,” I said, a pleasant note in my voice. “I’ve met teenagers who have more class.”
She snarled at me and turned away, stomping down the driveway towards a black BMW. The man standing beside it opened the passenger-side back door for her, and she disappeared from view.
I let out a slow, deep breath and inwardly kicked myself.
Nice going, Charlie. Way to antagonise the most important member of the band.
Well, one of them, anyway.
Back in the house, Kyle was still in the music room. I hovered at the door, unsure of what to say. He looked at me with concern.
“Everything all right?”
“Fine,” I said softly. There was a faint knock at the front door. “That will be Tyler. I’ll leave you two alone to work.”
He nodded slowly, his blue eyes still fixed on me. There was more than concern there now. There was confusion, too.
I didn’t need to be there, and it was the last place I wanted to be, so I turned my back on him, preparing to make my escape. His soft, dark voice stopped me in my tracks.
“Charlotte.” I rested my hand on the door frame and glanced over my shoulder at him. “Whatever it was I did...” He swallowed tightly. “I’m... I’m sorry.”
“Everybody’s sorry for something, Kyle,” I said. I could feel tears starting again, and I didn’t want to cry. Not over a man. Not again. Anger, Charlie. Not self-pity. “I’m sorry we ever met.”
He stepped towards me, and the look of pain in his eyes nearly broke my heart.
“You don’t mean that,” he said hoarsely. “Please, Charlie. Tell me you don’t really mean that.”
I didn’t know what I meant. I just knew that I was feeling that same, awful hurt I’d felt for almost two straight years, every time Adam cheated on me with his flavour of the week. The fact that Kyle and Natasha were a couple, and Kyle hadn’t been honest enough to admit it, was just another reminder of what I’d been through.
Musicians were nothing but trouble.
Tyler appeared in the hallway, lean and rangy and reeking of cigarette smoke. His shaggy black hair looked as though he hadn’t bothered to run a comb through it in days. “Hey there, spider lady,” he said, grinning. “You sticking around?”
I forced a smile and shook my head. “Not today, Tyler,” I said, and he snapped his fingers. “Maybe some other time. But I’ll see you at rehearsal this afternoon.” I brushed past him and left the house. As soon as I slipped behind the wheel of my car, I burst into tears.
So much for not crying over a man.
Again.