The woman in the doorway looks like my mom, but older. And not just a few years older, but much, much older. I don’t really understand since it’s only been four years. I expected a few more wrinkles or a bit more gray, but the woman in front of me looks tiny and frail and…weak.

Mom never seemed old before. She worked all the time and was stronger than most men I knew, definitely stronger than me, even when I was sixteen years old. She was healthy and active, not sickly and barely able to move. “Nathan, is it really you?”

Before I can even answer, she is pressed against my chest, holding on to me with more strength than her skinny arms seem capable of possessing. “Mom?”

“Oh, Nathan. I worried so much about you over the years. Why did you leave?”

I pull away and look down at her, still not completely convinced this is my mother. Is it possible I have a grandmother I never knew about? “Mom, you’ve changed so much…”

She sighs heavily and nods, still holding on to one of my hands. “Come inside, dear. We should talk.”

I allow her to pull me through the door, but I stop short once I’m a few steps inside and take a look around. “What is going on here? Were you robbed?” Her house is in shambles. Trash is all over the floor, and there are random boxes everywhere. Some are empty and some full, but there doesn’t seem to be any organization to how they’re spread throughout the entryway and living room.

She shakes her head. “No, your brother stays here sometimes, and he’s still as messy as he ever was.” She actually chuckles as she walks to the couch and wipes a pile of potato chip crumbs off the cushion and into the empty bag that was on the floor. “Come, sit with me.”

Just the mention of my brother has my stomach clenching. The whole reason I’m here is to confront him, but I’m not quite ready yet. First, I need some answers from my mother. “So, Joseph is still around?”

Her eyes narrow like she’s going to scold me. “Yes, Nathan. Joseph never left me.”

I throw my hand out, gesturing to the mess of her house. “Well, you probably would have been better off if he did. Look at this place. Why do you let him destroy your house like this?”

“It’s not usually like this.” She folds her hands in her lap then looks into the empty fireplace. “He’s just been coming around more often over the past few weeks…to help me.”

My mother was never the type to ask for or accept help from anyone. That’s when I really start to worry about what’s going on with her. Upon closer inspection, it’s obvious something is wrong. “Help you with what?”

After several moments pass, she tears her gaze away from the fireplace and looks me in the eye.

“I’m sick, Nathan. It’s bad. I’m not sure I’ll be able to fight it this time.”

“What do you mean? How sick are you?” I slide on to the couch beside her, ignoring the crunch of crumbs under my ass as I do. “And what do you mean by this time?”

She holds up her hand to slow me down. “I’ll tell you everything, but you have to promise to remain calm. Sometimes these things are just meant to be, and we have to be strong. I’ve come to terms with what fate has in store for me. I don’t want you to be upset by anything I say. I just want to spend the rest of my time with my boys before it’s too late.”

“Mom…” My voice cracks so I clear my throat. “You’re scaring me. Just please tell me what’s wrong.”

“I have cancer.” Her tone is soft but clear. She doesn’t sound afraid at all, which makes me even more afraid. “A couple years ago, it was just in my breasts. I had them removed, and I was close to remission. But I got sick again. This time, it’s spread. It’s in my bones, and there isn’t much we can do to stop it.”

I gasp and squeeze my eyes shut, trying not to let any tears fall. I’m so conflicted right now. For years, I’ve resented this woman for not believing me when I told her my brother was hurting me. I don’t know if she thought I was looking for attention or that her angel Joseph could never do such a thing. Either way, she ignored what was happening and basically gave Joseph permission to continue. But she is my mother. I don’t like seeing her weak, and I definitely don’t want to watch her die. “Is there anything that can be done?”

“The doctors are trying to slow it down. They might be able to buy me another year or two.” She blows out a slow breath and leans heavily against the sofa cushion. “But I’m so tired, Nathan. And it hurts so much.” Finally, a tear slips from her eye, and I can’t hold back my emotions any longer.

I pull her into my arms and hold her, crying against her shoulder. “I’m so sorry I left. I should’ve been here. I should’ve helped you when you needed it.”

She pats my back then pulls away. “You’re here now. Truthfully, I think that’s what I’ve been holding on for. I just wanted to see you one more time, so we could have some closure. I still don’t understand why you left, but you’re here now. That’s all that matters.”

For the first hour, we chit chat about where I’ve been living and how her business has done. I’m impressed to hear that her small house cleaning business grew to a team of twenty-five independent cleaners, and she gets a cut from each of them on every job they do. It’s comforting to know she’s had the financial means to take care of herself these past few years.

But that doesn’t change the fact that she’s probably going to die soon.

It takes a while for me to find the courage to bring up the elephant in the room. I’d love to avoid it, but time is precious, and I have to do it. I take a deep breath and look her straight in the eye as I finally say what I need to say. “You didn’t believe me when I told you Joseph was hurting me. That’s why I left.”

Mom’s eyes grow wide as saucers, and she shakes her head. “No, you had bad dreams. They weren’t real. It was those videogames and horror movies you liked to watch that confused you. Your brother wasn’t actually hurting you.”

My hands ball into fists, and I pound on my thighs before standing up and walking across the room, trying very hard to control my temper. “No, Mom. He really was. He came at me every damn day. He raped me, over and over again. And when I told you about it, you didn’t believe me. Just like you don’t believe me now.”

A new batch of tears flow down her cheeks. “Are you sure? It wasn’t just in your head?”

My jaw drops. “No, actually, it was usually in my ass. Do you really want to know why I left? Because I got pregnant, and I had to leave this fucking town, so I could get an abortion. There was no way in hell I was going to carry that monster’s baby, and I couldn’t stay in this house with him any longer. That’s why left.”

“No, baby. Please tell me that didn’t really happen.” Mom leans forward, curling in on herself as she sobs until she’s coughing.

I sit beside her, unable to hold on to my anger when she’s in such a vulnerable state. “I told you what was happening, and you didn’t believe me.”

She shakes her head then leans into my lap, laying across me. “Please forgive us, Nathan. We made mistakes. Your brother was troubled back then, but he’s better now. You’ll see. He’s a new man. He’ll apologize, and we can be the family we should have been before I got sick.”

I don’t even have the words to explain to her that he’ll never be my family. Joseph will only be the monster that hurt me, chased me from home and forced me to miss the last few years with my mother. So, I hold her and wait for her guilty emotions to pass enough that she can regain her composure.

She sits up and looks half asleep, barely able to stay awake. “Don’t leave me again, Nathan. I need you here.”

A loud engine rumbles down the street, and my gut clinches when it pulls to a stop in front of the house.

Mom’s eyes pop open as I go look at window. “What are you going to do,” she whispers through the quiver in her voice.

“What I came here to do.”