The moment my father turned and walked away from me, it all hit me—the hurt I caused him, my brothers, and especially Scott.
I let everyone down. I hurt the only people I truly love.
Scott pulled back and looked into my eyes. The love that was pouring out of him took my breath away.
“I love you,” he whispered.
My heart dropped to my stomach. After everything that I had told him about Trey, he was still standing here, making me feel so loved and so cherished.
I tried my best to smile at him, but when he put his hand on my stomach, I felt the tears building.
“Go talk to him, baby.”
I nodded and turned to see my brothers both looking at me.
“It’s okay, Tiny. He’s just probably in shock, and he was really pissed-off at you,” Dewey said with a sweet smile on his face.
I let out a small laugh and started to walk over toward my father. I stopped right behind him. I looked down at my shaking hands and closed my eyes.
“Daddy,” I said as my voice cracked.
He turned around and looked at me. He had tears in eyes, and I sucked in a breath of air.
Am I that much of a disappointment to him?
“I…I’m so sorry if I’m a disappointment to you.” I began to cry.
He looked at me with a shocked expression on his face. “What? Why would you ever think you were a disappointment to me?”
“You just seem…well, you walked away from me, and…”
He reached out, grabbed me, and pulled me to him. “Oh, baby girl, you could never be a disappointment to me. Ever. I’m really upset with you for running away like you did. You about killed me, Jessica. Don’t you ever do that to me again. You’re my girl…my baby girl.”
I slowly nodded my head. “Oh, Daddy, I promise I won’t, and if I could take it all back…”
He pulled back and smiled as he wiped away the tears from my eyes. “I’m gonna be a grandfather, huh?”
I smiled. “Yes.”
“When did you find out?”
I took a deep breath as I thought back to that night. The idea of crawling onto Trey’s lap and sleeping somehow made me feel sick to my stomach. I should have been with Scott…not another man.
“Christmas Eve.”
My father looked up and over at Scott. I turned and saw him smiling at something Aaron was saying to him. When I turned back to my father, he seemed conflicted.
“Daddy, are you not happy about the baby?”
“Oh, sweetheart, I’m very happy. It’s just…I don’t know how to ask you this…”
I looked at him, confused. “Ask me, what?”
He quickly looked at Scott and then back at me. “Is the baby, um…is the baby Scott’s?”
I sucked in a breath of air. Oh my god. Does everyone think I was with another man?
You were with another man.
I quickly shook my head to erase the thoughts running through my head.
“Yes! Of course it is.”
“I’m sorry. It’s just that your one postcard made it sound like…well, it sounded like you were with someone.”
I put my hand up to my mouth and started crying. Daddy pulled me to him and kept telling me it was okay.
“Oh god…I almost made the biggest mistake of my life, Dad. I can’t…” I started sobbing again.
He put his arm around me as we walked around the porch and started down the steps. Once we got far enough away from Scott, Aaron, and Dewey, all he had to do was look at me.
“What happened?”
I just let it all out. “I met this guy. Nothing happened, but we did…we…oh god.”
I wanted to scream every time I thought about what had happened between Trey and me.
“Stop with the guilt, Jessie. You thought something happened with Scott and Chelsea. You were hurting.”
I started shaking my head as I dropped it back and looked up. “I know, Dad…I know. But if I hadn’t run away, if I had just stayed and confronted my fear, I would have seen within five seconds that it wasn’t Scott. I think a part of me knew it wasn’t him, but I’ve always had this fear that he was going to leave me like he did the first time.”
My dad snapped his head at Scott and then over to me. “First time?”
“No, nothing like that. In high school, he kissed me, and…oh god, Dad, that was so long ago. It doesn’t matter.” I started walking back and forth. “I think the thing that kills me the most is that I was carrying Scott’s child when I let another man touch me. It almost makes my skin crawl, but at the same time, I feel something for Trey.”
“Wait—what do you mean you feel something for Trey? Jessie…you’re not in love with him, are you?”
I shook my head. “No! I mean, I care about him. He was a great friend, and we really grew close during those five weeks. I honestly don’t think I could have made it through that time without him.”
“Would you have come home sooner if you hadn’t met him?” my father asked.
I stopped walking. It hit me like a ton of bricks. My god…did I stay away out of fear? Or did I stay away because I was enjoying my time with Trey?
“I…I don’t know. Maybe.”
My dad tilted his head and gave me a look. “Maybe?”
My heart started pounding, and I felt like it was all happening again. “I think so. I was only going to stay for two weeks.”
“And it’s over a month later,” my father said as he walked up to me. “Scott loves you, and I’ve never seen a man so destroyed as he was when you were gone.”
I felt the tears falling again. This crying thing was starting to be a pain in the ass.
“Jessie…you need to make sure you don’t have any feelings for this Trey guy. You need to make sure you are one hundred percent with Scott and not just because you are pregnant.”
All the air left my body. “Daddy…I love Scott more than anything. I only love him, and I’ll only ever love him. I called him before I knew I was pregnant, and…” I stopped talking. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I put my hands on my chest. It felt like someone was sitting on it. “Do you think Scott thinks I picked him over Trey because I’m pregnant? Oh my god…Dad, if you thought that…”
“Now, Jessie, settle down. Take a deep breath, baby girl. It’s not good to be this upset when you’re pregnant. I’m sure Scott knows how much you love him, and no, I don’t think he thinks that.”
I took a few deep breaths to try to calm myself down. Then, I heard his voice.
“Jessie?”
I closed my eyes and felt the warmth take over my body just from the sound of his voice. I opened my eyes and looked into my dad’s eyes. My dad must have noticed how I’d calmed down almost instantly.
“Daddy, if y’all don’t mind, I really would like to spend some time with Scott.”
My father laughed and took a step around me. He walked up to Scott, and as I turned around, I saw him shake Scott’s hand.
“Congratulations, son. I’m very happy for you and Jessie. I still can’t believe it—a grandchild.”
The smile that spread across Scott’s face caused me to smile. He was so happy about this baby, and it just made my heart swell even more.
“Aaron and Dewey had to leave, but they said to let you know they’ll see you later, Jessie,” Scott said.
“Okay, well, that’s my sign to take off as well.” My father looked at me and winked. “Call me later?”
“Yes…I promise,” I said.
He gave me a hug. After I watched my father walk away, I turned my attention to Scott. He was just staring at me.
“I take it that he’s happy about the baby?” he asked with a smile.
I let out a giggle. “Yeah, he’s really happy.”
Scott started to walk my way with that drop-me-to-my-knees, sexy-ass look of his. I instantly felt myself longing for him.
“So, where were we?” Scott raised his eyebrows up at me.
I let out a laugh. “I do believe you mentioned something about making love to me all night long. And what else was it?” I put my index finger up to my lips and looked up, like I was thinking. I snapped my head back and looked into his eyes. “Two spankings for bad behavior, I believe,” I said as I licked my lips on purpose.
“Ah hell,” Scott said. He reached for me and threw me over his shoulder.
I let out a scream as I pushed myself up off his back. As soon as his hand hit my ass, I felt the throbbing between my legs.
My god…I’ve never been so turned-on in my life.
Scott carried me into the house and straight to his bedroom. After he walked in, he slowly let me down. As soon as my feet hit the ground, he began kissing me as he reached for my jeans and started to unbutton them. I moved my hands to his pants and did the same thing.
“My god…I want you so badly,” I practically panted.
He lifted up my T-shirt and pulled it over my head. Then, he pushed my bra up and over my breasts. He lifted it above my head. I didn’t know how he had done it, but he’d quickly used my bra to pull my hands behind my back. He gently cupped my breast, and I threw my head back and moaned. He dropped to his knees and kissed my stomach. I felt a million different sensations run through my body.
Oh yes…I love this man and only this man.
He was still holding my hands behind my back as he put his mouth up to my clit and blew through my panties.
“Scott…oh god. Please.”
He let go of my bra and hands. I instantly put my hands in his hair and pulled him closer to me. I needed to feel him as close to me as possible. I needed his love to pour into my body in every way possible.
“God, Jessie, I’ve missed you so damn much, baby.”
“I missed you, Scott, more than you’ll ever know.”
He slid his finger along my panty line, and the next thing I knew, he was taking them off and putting my leg over his shoulder. The moment his tongue brushed against my overly sensitive body, I let out a whimper.
“Jesus…” I whispered as I ran my hand through his hair.
“Jessie…” he whispered against me.
He placed his fingers inside me. The moment he began his assault on my clit, I was done. I began calling out his name as I threw my head back and got lost in the pleasure. I wasn’t even down from the high when I felt Scott pick me up and carry me over to the bed. It didn’t take me long to notice it was a new bed.
I sat up and looked around. “You got a new bed?”
Scott looked at me like I was crazy. “Fuck yeah, I did. My brother screwed my ex in my other bed. Gross!”
I let out a laugh and fell back onto the bed. My eyes caught his, and our gazes locked. I couldn’t tear away from the look in his eyes. They were filled with passion and so much love. He began kissing me softly on my hips first, and then he moved over to my stomach. He stopped and peeked up at me with that smile.
Then, he looked back to my stomach and whispered to it, “Hey, baby…I absolutely cannot wait to lay my eyes on your precious face.”
I felt the tears building in my eyes. I closed them and smiled. He moved up to my breasts where he gave each nipple equal attention.
“Oh god…they’re so sensitive.” I arched my back.
“You’re so beautiful, Jessie, so damn beautiful.” Scott began kissing my neck.
“Scott, I love you so much,” I whispered.
He was moving his lips all along my neck, and he kept repeating how much he loved me. He bit down on my earlobe, and I let out a whimper. His lovemaking was so slow and intense. It was almost like he couldn’t get close enough to me.
“I. Love. You. Baby.” He placed kisses down the side of my face. He pulled back and looked into my eyes before he leaned down and grazed his lips against mine.
As he slowly pushed himself into me, I felt tears burning my eyes, and I fought to hold them back.
“Oh…god…Jessie,” he whispered against my lips.
I grabbed his arms and deepened the kiss. I needed him. I needed to feel his love pouring into me. He pulled back and smiled at me as he made love to me while repeating over and over how much he loved me.
My heart was pounding in my chest as I felt my orgasm slowly building. The feeling was incredible, and I never wanted this to end. I wanted to stay right here with Scott, alone and together.
“Jessie…please, baby…I can’t hold off any longer.”
The moment he whispered that in my ear, my whole body exploded. I began calling out his name as the orgasm took over. Somewhere in my cries of pleasure, I heard Scott call out my name as he began to slow down, gently kissing my neck and telling me he loved me.
Scott rolled off of me and pulled me up next to him. “God, I’m so tired,” he said.
He kissed my back as I snuggled up and smiled. I closed my eyes.
Home…I’m finally home.
“Jess?”
“Hmm?”
The last few days were finally catching up to me, and I was exhausted.
“Are you still going to move in with me?” Scott asked as his voice cracked.
My eyes snapped open, and I rolled over and looked into his eyes. “Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I?”
He smiled slightly and shook his head. “Just making sure you still want to.”
I placed my hand on the side of his face and leaned over. I kissed him gently on the lips. “We’re having a baby. I want to experience everything together. Scott, why would you think I wouldn’t still want to move in?”
I watched as the hurt moved into his eyes.
“I want you to be one hundred percent sure that this is what you want…that I’m what you want.”
My heart slammed in my chest, and I almost felt sick. He doubts my love for him? Oh god.
My mind went back to Belize, and I thought of Trey. I thought of how he’d made me feel, but it was nothing like how Scott made me feel. I knew that one hundred percent.
I went to say something, but Scott started talking again. “I saw the way you looked at him, Jessie. Lark also told me that when he’d gone to see if you needed help packing, you had been with him. You kissed him good-bye.”
I sat up quickly, instantly feeling defensive. “What? Did you have Lark follow me or something?”
Scott’s face fell. “No, of course not. He told me he was going to help you while I checked you out of the room.”
I spun around and sat on the edge of the bed. I pulled the sheet up and around me. I wasn’t sure if I was pissed at the idea of Lark spying on me or the fact that Scott knew I had kissed Trey good-bye.
Did Lark tell him it was a friendly kiss? Or did Lark tell him I called out after Trey and kissed him? Oh god. My head is spinning.
Scott went to touch me, and I pulled away. I wasn’t really sure why I had, but I regretted it instantly. I was so angry at myself for kissing Trey good-bye the way I had. The guilt had been eating me alive for the last two days.
“Fine. Maybe we should talk about this later,” Scott said.
I felt him get out of bed. I turned and watched as he walked to the bathroom.
“Scott, wait, please. There is nothing to talk about. Of course, I want to move in here with you. I love you. I love you, Scott.”
He turned and looked at me. “I need you to tell me right now, Jessie. Do you love him? In any way…do you have feelings for him?”
I jumped up and immediately said, “No! I mean…I care about him…but only as a friend.” I looked down and away from Scott.
I thought about Trey touching me…the way he’d made me feel. I could almost feel his lips on my skin. Oh my god. What is wrong with me? I do not want Trey in any way!
“You can’t even look at me when you say that,” Scott said with hurt in his voice.
I quickly looked up and into his eyes. “What?” I whispered.
He shook his head as he turned and walked slowly into the bathroom. He shut the door, and I stood there, stunned.
What just happened?
We had made beautiful love to each other, and then a minute later, this…
I shook my head and sat back down on the bed.
I didn’t love Trey. I don’t. I knew that. But…I had strong feelings for him that were starting to confuse me. I closed my eyes and wished I could talk to the girls. I needed to talk to someone about this. I was so confused…but not confused at the same time.
The bathroom door opened, and Scott walked out…dressed. I jumped up and moved closer to him.
“Where are you going?” I asked, panic in my voice.
“I need to get some fresh air. I won’t be gone long,” he said with a weak smile.
I grabbed his arm. “Scott…” I stopped in my tracks when I saw the tear roll down his face.
“The first time I knew I loved you, I pushed you away. I hurt you because I was afraid of my own feelings. I vowed to myself I would never hurt you again. This whole time we’ve been together, I feel like I’ve been trying to prove to you how much I love you. When you walked in and saw Chelsea and Bryce, you automatically assumed it was me. I never wanted that to ever happen. I never wanted you to ever think that I would do that to you. I wanted you to trust me and know in your heart how much I love you. I would never in a million years want to hurt you ever again.”
I shook my head. “I didn’t know it wasn’t you,” I said as a sob escaped my lips.
“But if I had just been able to show you how much I love you and that you are my whole world, you would have never had that doubt in your mind. You wouldn’t have run away, and you would have never met…him.”
I frantically shook my head, panic building in my body. “Scott! Please…I made a mistake by letting him touch me, and I swear to you, I was just confused and heartbroken. I thought you had…I thought you had…put yourself in my shoes! What would you have done if you’d walked into my bedroom and seen two people having sex?” I wiped the tears away quickly. “I love you. I’ve always loved you.”
He smiled at me and wiped away the tears still rolling down my face. “I won’t be the one who makes you hurt again. I won’t. I need you to be sure you are with me for the right reasons and not because we’re expecting a child together.”
I started crying harder. “I’m not. I didn’t even know about the baby before I called you. I love you…I love you.”
“I know you do, baby. But I think you need to make sure you don’t love him as well.” He turned and walked away from me.
I slowly felt myself falling to the floor. I buried my head in my hands and cried. In one moment, my whole world had changed. It wasn’t even the moment when I’d walked in on Chelsea in this very bedroom.
It was the one moment when I’d let another man into my heart.