As I held my daughter in my arms, I glanced over at Scott sleeping away in the recliner next to the bed. I smiled and slowly shook my head.
“Your daddy seems to be tired, sweet baby girl.”
I looked at the cast on his ankle, and my heart broke for him. He was supposed to be training a horse next week, and now, he couldn’t, and he was so upset about it. When he’d asked Ari if she would do it, I’d thought she was going to jump through the roof because she had been so happy.
Lauren yawned while I used the tip of my index finger to gently trace a pattern along her face. She smelled so good, and she was so precious. Every time I looked at her, my heart wanted to burst open.
“You know, I remember the first time I felt you move. I was standing outside, and at first, I thought it was like a nervous feeling, but then Ellie told me it was you moving around. I also remember the first time I saw your little body move across my stomach.” I let out a little chuckle. “Your daddy cried the first time he felt you move. I’m going to let you in on a little secret. I’m pretty sure you are going to be spoiled beyond belief. Between your daddy and your two grandpas, you will be one tough little girl. Don’t worry though—your grandmother will be sure to keep you dressed to the nines in pink ribbons and bows.”
Lauren opened her eyes, and I could swear that we were looking into each other’s souls. The strangest feeling moved over me, and I couldn’t pull my eyes away from hers.
As she slowly closed her eyes and drifted off into sleep, I thanked God for the blessings in my life. I had been feeling so sorry for myself the last few weeks—wishing my mother could have been here to see the birth of my child or to watch me marry the love of my life. I knew though that she was with me. In some strange way, it almost felt like she was letting me know she was here.
I slowly moved to get up when I heard the door open. I looked and saw Melody walking in.
“Hey,” she whispered.
“Hey! What are you doing here? I thought you had a lunch you had to go to today?” I asked as I tried to stand up. I was so sore that all I really wanted to do was soak in a hot bath.
She walked up to me, took Lauren from my arms, and took her over to the bassinet.
Oh, thank God. I don’t have to get up and move now.
“Are you still going home today?” she asked in a whispered voice.
I nodded my head and grinned like a fool. Scott and I had put Lauren’s bassinet in the sitting room off of our master bedroom, and I couldn’t wait to get home and start working on her room. We’d held off until we knew if it was a boy or a girl, and I had so many ideas.
Melody walked up to me and held out her hand. “Come on, you need to walk around. Trust me, it will help with the pain.”
I rolled my eyes, and she put her hands on her hips.
“Did you just roll your eyes at me, young lady?”
“Uh…”
“You’re in deep shit now,” Scott said from behind me.
I turned to see him looking at us with that panty-melting smile of his.
Oh Lord…
I instantly wanted him, but after I was split open from giving birth to his child, I had made a vow never to have sex with him again. I slowly licked my lips, and his smile faded for one brief second. Then, it was quickly there again, but this time, he raised an eyebrow. He always could tell when I was turned-on, which turned me on even more.
“Come on, up you go. I see you are dressed and ready to go, so I think a walk around will do you a bit of good,” Melody said.
I slowly stood and felt every single pain.
As we made our way down the hallway, arm in arm, we chose to remain silent.
“Let’s get a bit of fresh air, shall we go outside?” Melody asked with a smile as big as the Texas sky.
I couldn’t help but smile back.
As we walked over to a bench and sat down, I took a deep breath of air in and slowly let it out.
“Jessie, I wanted to apologize to you.”
I snapped my head over and looked at her. “For what?”
She shook her head, and then she looked up toward the sky. “For the way I treated you when you first started dating Scott. I know I was nothing but a bitch to you.”
I pulled my head back and widened my eyes. Where is this coming from? “Melody, you don’t—”
She held up her hand. “No, please let me get this all out. I sat down today at brunch, and I looked around at all these women who were sitting there. They are the best of the best, I guess you could say. Then, I saw Chelsea take a seat, and my stomach turned. Just thinking about what she did, using brother against brother just to hurt you, and how I-I…” She quickly shook her head as if she were clearing a memory or thought from her mind. “I just let her do it. I knew she didn’t want Scott. I knew that. I knew they were never meant to be together, and when I heard her say she was going to win him back, I chose to do nothing. Now, Scott and Bryce barely talk to each other. What if…what if you had never come back? Scott’s heart would have been devastated.”
I felt tears stinging my eyes, but I tried desperately not to cry. “I did come back though because what Scott and I have is real, Melody. I love him with all my heart, and I have loved him for so long. What happened is in the past and doesn’t matter anymore. It really does no good to keep thinking about it. We have an amazing future ahead of us, and I want to focus all my energy on loving and taking care of Scott and Lauren. And I might add that we have a wedding to plan.”
She nodded her head and looked at an older couple walking by as they held hands and laughed. When she looked back at me, our eyes met, and I saw the sadness.
“I just need you to forgive me for acting like such a snobby-ass bitch because, really, I’m not. When you and Scott came over and I saw his grandmother’s ring on your finger, I was so happy. Then, you said you were pregnant, and I thought Scott, Senior and I were going to have heart failure because we were so excited. I just want you to know that you are like the daughter I never had, and I’m so happy that you are a part of this family.”
That was when I lost it. The battle to hold back the tears was now over and done. I began sobbing, and Melody pulled me into her arms and began rocking me.
A lone memory of my mother holding me while she sang to me entered my mind. I could almost smell her perfume and hear her voice. Everything hit me at once—the loss of my mother, the guilt I felt about leaving Scott and being with Trey in Belize, and the guilt I felt about Trey’s death. All of it crashed down in that one moment, and I cried like I’d never cried before.
I wasn’t sure how long we sat there as I cried, but by the time I was done, I couldn’t believe how much better I felt.
Melody pulled back and looked into my eyes. “Listen to me because I’m only going to say this once. It was not your fault. No one blames you for leaving. I would have probably done the same thing if I had walked in and seen what you did. No one blames you or judges you for staying away for so long, and it is not your fault that Trey died. He made the decision to do the things he did. Okay? So, I don’t want you to ever have those thoughts in your mind again.”
I nodded my head and wiped at my tear-soaked cheeks.
“Now, I know I could never, ever replace your mother, but I will do the best I can to be like a mother to you. I always wanted a girl.” She smiled as she gave me a wink. “I can’t dress you up in pink ribbons and bows, but I sure as hell can do that with Lauren.”
I busted out laughing, thinking about how I’d had the same thought earlier.
She laughed and shook her head. “You know I’m going to spoil the hell out of her, don’t you?”
“Yes, I know,” I said.
We both stood up and started to head back to the room.
“Let’s talk wedding. Do we have a date in mind?” she asked as she slipped her arm through mine again.
I peeked over at her. “Scott wants to get married on Halloween.”
I cringed at how she was going to react. I was pretty sure she wanted a huge wedding where we would have to invite everyone in town, but Scott and I wanted something with just family and our closest friends.
She let out a gasp, and then she threw her head back and laughed. “Oh Lord! Halloween was always his favorite holiday besides Christmas, so I’m not surprised in the least bit.”
I slowly let out the air I had been holding in. “Wait—you’re not upset? I mean, if we decided to get married on Halloween and only have family and our closest friends attend, you would be okay with that?”
She stopped and looked at me. Her whole body seemed to straighten up more. “Jessie, I’m already thinking of the decorations…and what I want to wear! Oh, please say the guests can come dressed up. I have the perfect costume in mind!”
My jaw dropped to the ground, and I just stared at her. Who is this woman? And where did the Melody I thought I knew go?
“You’re looking at me like I have two heads, Jessica. I can get my party on just like the rest of them. Come on, let’s get y’all home. We have only a little over three months to plan this! Oh, we can set up games for the kids, too. My mind is racing with ideas.”
As we walked back to the room, Melody kept coming up with all these wonderful plans for the wedding.
“Damn it, I wish I had a pen and paper, so we could write this all down,” I said as I pushed the door open. Then, I stopped dead in my tracks.
Scott was holding Lauren and dancing with her in the middle of the room as he hummed a song. He was totally lost in the moment with her. My knees began to wobble, and I had to reach for the wall to hold myself up. I felt Melody steady me with her hands.
She let out a giggle. She whispered to me, “I remember the first time I saw his father holding him just like this. I was so swept away that I thought I couldn’t breathe. When you get angry with him…think of this moment. Always remember this moment, sweetheart.” She kissed me on the cheek and turned to leave. “Call me when y’all get home.”
I couldn’t even answer her. I just nodded my head. I was captivated by what was happening in front of me. I was falling in love with him all over again.
I walked into the room and just stood there. He finally looked up and saw me. He had a single tear rolling down his cheek, and there it was. I couldn’t breathe. This man standing in front of me, holding our child and loving her, just took my breath away.
“I’ve never wanted to have sex with you so badly than I do right now in my entire life,” I blurted out.
Scott’s eyes widened, and he slowly smiled. “I thought you said you were never having sex with me again.”
I walked up to him and looked at my sweet angel sleeping. I gently kissed her on the cheek. I reached up and gently brushed my lips against his. I tugged on his bottom lip with my teeth and then let it go. I slowly slid my hand down his stomach until I felt the evidence of his desire for me.
I winked and said, “I lied.”