Chapter 32
Icouldn’t believe my father was standing there. I hadn’t seen him since I was seven years old. My heart skipped a beat. When it began beating again, it seemed like it was up in my throat. A whooshing sound in sync with my heartbeat thumped in between my ears. A trickle of sweat rolled down the side of my face. Darkness clouded my eyes as I swayed. He put his arm around me.
“Let’s go,” he said. His words sounded distant, and I couldn’t understand his sentence. He led us to the benches under the archway. We sat down. Again, he spoke, but I couldn’t understand his words. He pushed my head in between my knees and rubbed my back.
Eventually, my vision cleared. I shivered as a breeze hit my body, which was beginning to get back to normal temperature. I sat upright.
“Do you feel better?” he asked.
“I think so.”
“Oh, Amber, you’ve grown into a beautiful woman just like your mother.” He brushed my sweaty hair away from my face.
I scooted further away, because I needed answers. “You wrote that note. Why wouldn’t you talk to me? Didn’t you want to see me, after all this time apart? Don’t you want to know how I’ve been? Why couldn’t you reveal your identity to people who work with or for the mob? What kind of history do you have with them? Who are you afraid of? And why were you talking to Gabe? Does he know you’re my father?” The string of questions poured out of me as if they were a waterfall with unstoppable momentum.
“I’ll tell you what I can. I was waiting to see you when a certain investigation is finished. Meanwhile, I wanted you to move far away from this mafia drama. I’m not afraid of anyone. I’m here to make sure a certain man, who is married to the mob, gets what he deserves. I didn’t even know you’d be in the city until I got here. When I saw you looking like your mother, I knew who you were. I had the bartender confirm your name to be sure. The night of the pub fire, I saw a fireman rescue you, and I tracked him down. Gabe has been informing me of your status. I told him I was an old family friend who promised your father I would check in on you. I told him you wouldn’t talk to your father directly because of a traumatic past.”
“Yeah, about that”—I stood up and put my hands on my hips—“How the hell could you leave us?”
“That’s a long story for another time. It broke my heart to do that.” He slouched and sank into the bench. He looked at his watch. “Unfortunately, I can’t stay with you much longer. I have other places to be. Besides, the longer we sit here, the more we risk someone seeing us together.”
I slapped him. Slack-jawed and wide-eyed, he touched the side of his face. I didn’t care if it put him in danger to be seen with me. He owed me an explanation, and then he could disappear from my life forever. “You’ll stay until I’m done talking. You owe me at least that much.” I crossed my arms and sat next to him.
“This is dangerous, Amber.”
“You may have good intentions of protecting me by suggesting that I move away from here, but what makes you think I value your opinion? The last time I saw you, you left our family with one suitcase in your hand.” Tears pricked my eyes. “I watched you walk out our door and never come back. You have no right to abandon our family, then show up years later, proclaiming you know what’s best. It doesn’t work that way. You want me to leave my friends in danger, like a coward would. I refuse to do that.”
“I don’t want you to get hurt.” His pleading eyes had no effect on me.
“You know what doesn’t feel right? You having any connection to the mob. It seems ridiculous. What the hell would an insurance agent do with the mob? Don’t tell me you were part of some insurance fraud.”
“I wasn’t an insurance agent. I used to be an undercover cop. Your mother never knew. Those insurance conferences for the weekends were really assignments.”
“So, we were your fake family.” My lower lip trembled. “I thought you loved us.” I choked back a sob.
“I did.” He wiped away my tears that had escaped my eyes. “Of course, I love you.”
“I don’t think you know what love is,” I shouted. “What was in that envelope you gave Gabe?”
“I was paying him for looking in on you.”
My mouth gaped as I shook my head, not wanting to believe sweet Gabe wasn’t as innocent as he seemed. He had been such a gentleman.
“Today, he refused the money for the first time. He muttered something about being in love with you.”
I closed my mouth and sighed. I was glad that Gabe hadn’t accepted my father’s cash. If he had taken it, I would have reason to doubt that he did love me. I would have felt used and manipulated. Still, at first, he dated me for the money. I didn’t know how to feel about that.
“I need to leave,” he said, standing. “I shouldn’t see you again until it is over.”
“If you really want to help, then you’ll talk to my friend Henry.” I stood. “He may have some information for the cops. If he gives you info, can you give it to the police?”
“Maybe.”
“How can he contact you?”
“I stay at the Windordorf Hotel on the first Monday of every month. He can call the front desk and leave me a message. I always check my messages. I don’t meet people at my apartment.”
“Thank you. I’ll let him know.”
He hugged me tightly, but I kept my arms at my sides and didn’t return the embrace. “I’m sorry we met like this,” he said. “I do love you.”
I pulled away. “I wish I could say the same.”
I left and walked in the opposite direction of my father. I’d be leaving for California in the morning. I’d have no time to talk to Gabe before then. Even if I did, I wouldn’t know where to start.