Chapter 36
Ella
Finally, after a few days in intensive care and then a couple in the regular wing of the hospital, my father was able to come home. I had actually started to miss him, especially with everything going on and him not having any clue at all. He was the head of the house, the person who kept us all together, the glue, and I felt guilty that he was still in the dark about Will and the baby.
When we got to the complex, he insisted on walking up, not wanting to look like an old man in a wheelchair. I shook my head and laughed at his stubbornness, realizing that he hadn’t changed a bit during his stay in the hospital. He was weak and frail, yes, but he was in really good spirits. In fact, I hadn’t seen my father so loving and caring since I was a little girl, before he ever started his own firm. Back then, life was simpler, from where we lived, where we shopped, and how my parents interacted. My father used to come home to where we lived on the outskirts of town from the firm he worked at after taking the subway and three buses. He smiled every time he walked in the door, happy to see Mom, me, and Taryn.
We got into the apartment and helped Dad into the living room, where he sat carefully down in the chair by the window. It was the chair I had done all my thinking in before Will knew about the baby. It only seemed fitting that it be the chair he sat in to learn about my life. My mother, my sister, and I spent the morning doting on him, telling stories, catching him up on the happenings at his office, and listening to him talk about the incompetence at the hospital, including one hilarious story about a bedpan. I really enjoyed sitting around with my family like that. It had been a long time since we had all gotten together and talked without there being some mention of law school or future plans.
I looked over at my sister to signal to her that it was time for me to talk to him alone. She nodded her head and waited for my dad to finish his thought. She stood up and walked over to my mom, whispering something in her ear. She nodded and took in a deep breath, pulling herself off the couch.
“I’m going to go get lunch started,” my mother said.
“I’m going to help,” Taryn replied.
I waited until they walked out of the room and got up, walking over and sitting down on the couch in the seat closest to Dad. He turned to me and smiled before looking back out the window. I swallowed hard and put my shoulders back, forcing some bravery.
“So, I have some things to tell you,” I said, smiling at my father.
“Oh, good. I like good news,” he said.
“Well, a lot has happened over the last three months, and although I wanted to tell you sooner, we couldn’t seem to see eye to eye,” I said. “The truth is, Will and I have been seeing each other for some time now, and three months ago, while I was away at school, I found out that I was expecting his child. It was a shock to say the least, and I didn’t even tell Will until the other day. At first I struggled with the idea, but then I gave in to it, realizing it wasn’t the end of the world and was just an extra thing I would have to plan for in my future. Until a few days ago, it was a weight on my shoulders, but after telling everyone, I’ve felt positive and optimistic about it.”
“Wow,” my father said with surprise. “That is some really big news, Ella. Well, how does Will feel about it?”
“He was shocked at first, obviously, but after letting it sink in, he is actually really excited about the future and having another child,” I said. “We really care for each other, but I’m not sure if we will stay together or not. It really depends on what I decide to do with my next move.”
My father listening intently, his contemplative look transforming into a smile as I talked. He was extremely surprised, of course, but he was also remarkably calm about the entire thing. It was like he had changed completely while in the hospital. I was perched on the edge of the couch, waiting for him to explode, but it never came.
“Let me ask you this,” he said. “You’ve worked so hard at Harvard, making top of the class, planning for the future, and of course fighting me every step of the way. I can’t help but wonder if you’re planning to give that all up now that your priorities have changed. My personal opinion is that it would be silly seeing as you only have one semester left there, but at the same time, you have to do what you’re comfortable with and what you think you can handle while being pregnant. Of course, your mother and I will support whatever choice you make, but I don’t want you to make a rash decision just because you think it isn’t possible.”
I took a deep breath and smiled. My father was attempting to show his support while still looking out for my best interests. Of course, when I’d first found out, I had thought everything was over, from my life to my future, but that wasn’t the case at all now. After having time to think about everything, I was finding myself agreeing with my father for the first time ever.
“Actually, I have given that quite a lot of thought,” I said. “I definitely want to finish my last semester. I’ve come too far to let go without finishing. In fact, it would be stupid of me to do that. And, on top of that, the local Historical Society of Cambridge has extended me an offer to be the lead researcher on a project they have coming up after my graduation. It would give me research experience, teaching experience inside Harvard’s history department, and a really nice salary.”
“What about being pregnant and delivering around that time?”
“I thought of that as well, so I contacted the head of the project and explained to them what my situation was,” I said. “I told them I would love the position but I was pregnant and would be delivering somewhere around that time. The head of the program told me that the first few months don’t require much work from the head researcher. It’s mostly their archaeology team doing hands-on stuff in the beginning, which doesn’t give me much to research. He said he would still extend me the position as long as leading up to my actual start date, I would do some minor overhauls from home.”
“Wow,” my father said, nodding his head in approval. “That sounds like they really want you on their team.”
“Well, being the valedictorian of the class awarded me some clout, I guess.” I chuckled. “I want it all, Dad. Not just the career, but I want to spend time with my baby before I jump right into my life after college. At the same time, I’m not willing to give up my dreams, and I know now I don’t have to. Nothing is written in stone that says a woman has to change everything about herself when she becomes a mother.”
“I completely agree,” my father replied. “We have women in the firm who work while pregnant, take off time for the child, and come back as strong as ever. I’ve never had an issue with it. It’s a biological process that women produce children. That isn’t something they should be punished for.”
“I agree,” I said, smiling. “So, I’m going to take advantage of that and continue to live my life. These are all revelations that have come to me just over the last week or so. I haven’t even had a chance to tell Will about any of it besides the job offer. He doesn’t know I plan to take off time to be with the baby before going to work. I just don’t want this situation to turn into something that makes me unhappy. I want to know that I took a curveball with dignity and strength. I want to know that I was able to pull through all of this with the support of my family and Will, and Avery, too.”
“Do you think Will will follow you?”
“I don’t know,” I said, shaking my head. “I wish he would, but I can’t say for sure. I do know that if he doesn’t, I’m okay. I’ll be sad, maybe even heartbroken, but I know I will come out okay in the end.”
“Well, as far as I’m concerned, this is some of the best news I’ve ever gotten,” he said, smiling and reaching for my hand. “Ella, all I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy. Ever since you were born, I could remember holding you for the first time, in awe and wonder at the miracle of life. I told myself that day that I would always support you, push you, and help you reach your dreams. I wanted you to live a life that was so full that when it was over—when you were old and gray—you didn’t have one regret. Not one single regret. I really did think, for years, that you would be happiest if you followed in my footsteps. I thought maybe you just couldn’t see it yet, but when you could, you would realize that I had steered you correctly. I became so obsessed with it that I didn’t even notice you had already found what made you happy. Now I accept that I was wrong, and I’m sorry for allowing my own wishes to tear a valley between us. I hate that we’ve missed out on time because I was too stubborn and too blind to see that you had already found what you loved. That should have been good enough for me.”
“It’s okay, Dad,” I said, shaking my head. “I knew that deep down, your intentions were pure, and I’m sorry I couldn’t make you see how happy I already was. I’m just glad that we can sit here and talk again. I was starting to think we would never see eye to eye again.”
“Well, I would never let that happen,” he said, pulling himself to his feet.
I got up and walked over, laying my head against his chest and wrapping my arms around him. He hugged me tightly. The sound of his injured heart beat proudly in his chest, echoing through my ears and bringing a warmth to my heart. I remembered finding this the most comforting place on earth when I was younger, and I had soaked the fronts of his shirts with so many tears when I was growing up. It was nice to find his embrace comforting again.
“So,” he said, pulling back. “What are you going to name this little one?”
“Gosh,” I said, smiling and laughing. “I have no idea. I haven’t even gotten that far yet.”