~Landon~
I’m in heaven. There is a cat, curled up and purring, next to my hip and a beautiful woman draped around me, her head on my chest and arm around my waist. We’re snuggled up under the covers early in the morning one week later.
“I don’t want you to go,” Cami says softly. She hugs me tighter, clinging to me, and buries her sweet face in my neck.
“I’ll only be gone for a couple of days, baby.”
She nods, but I know she’s not convinced. This will be my second trip down to San Diego for meetings about the new flight school.
My traveling makes her nervous. I don’t know how to reassure her that it’s not permanent. That traveling full-time no longer interests me.
I guess only time will truly prove it to her.
I move to get out of bed, but she coils tighter, throwing her leg over mine now, and holds on tight. “Three more minutes.”
I chuckle and kiss her head. “I don’t want to miss my flight.”
She tips her head back so she can look up at me and pouts. “Stay.”
“Turn your dimple off, sweetheart,” I say with a laugh, and trace the spot in her cheek. “You know I can’t resist it.”
“That’s my evil plan,” she says, and drags her hand down my stomach to my cock. “Don’t you have a little time?”
“Once we get started, it’s never for a little time,” I reply, and take her hand in mine, then kiss her fingers. “I do need to jump in the shower.”
“Okay.” She kisses me softly and burrows down in the covers when I roll away. Scoot meows moodily, not happy to be moved, then snuggles in next to Cami and falls back to sleep.
I walk into the bathroom and shave quickly before starting the shower and stepping into the hot, steamy water. Just when I finish rinsing the soap from my hair, I feel cool air rush around me and hear the door of the shower close, and then a soft, warm body wraps her arms around me from behind.
“Hi,” Cami says softly before placing a kiss on my shoulder.
“Hi yourself.” Her hands glide down my stomach, then she clutches my cock firmly in her small hand and begins to jack me off slowly. “Oh God, that’s a thing.”
“This is a thing?” There’s a satisfied smile in her voice.
“Oh, yeah.” I swallow hard and take her hand in mine, pour shampoo in her palm, and guide her back to me, making me slick so she glides easily. “You can go harder.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You can’t hurt me,” I say, barely able to talk now. Her grip tightens and she presses herself to me, her other hand joining in the fun, and my knees want to buckle.
“This is fun.” Her voice is happy. “But I need more soap. I’m not sliding as easy now.”
Rather than give in to her request, I spin around and boost her up against the wall. She immediately wraps her legs around my waist, and I slide home. My forehead is against hers. I kiss her hard before fisting my hand in her hair and pulling her head back so I can bite and suck on her neck. I’m fucking her, as hard as I can, against the cold tile of the shower, but it doesn’t seem to bother her. She’s digging her nails into my shoulders and the noises coming out of her sexy mouth drive me on, fucking her harder and harder until my balls tighten and lift and I come harder than I can remember ever doing before.
As I come down to earth, she’s squeezing me, her muscles spasming from her own orgasm.
“That was fun,” she breathes. “I should join you in the shower more often.”
“You have an open invitation, sweetheart.”
I lower her to her feet, make sure she’s steady, then quickly clean up and leave her in the shower so I can hurry up and get out of here.
“Did I make you late?” she asks.
“No, I’ll make the flight.”
“I’ll drive you to the airport.”
Leaving her is hard enough. I hate it. But watching her drive away at the airport would be pure torture.
“I’d rather you didn’t drive to the airport during rush hour,” I reply, and smile when she steps out of the shower, looking all damp and flushed, and well fucked. “And this way, my car will be waiting for me when I get home.”
“Okay.” She puckers up and turns her lips up to me. “Kiss me before you go.”
“Happily.” I grip her shoulders and lift her to her tiptoes so I can kiss her senseless. “How was that?”
“That was good.” Her eyes are glassy. “Really good.”
“I’ll give you plenty more of those when I get home. Be good.”
“You be good.”
I grin. “I’m always good, baby.”
I’VE BEEN IN San Diego for twenty-four hours and I already miss Cami so much it hurts. Jesus, I’ve become a heartsick moron.
And you know what? I don’t give a fuck.
After a long, intense meeting this morning, I’m ready for a break and a call home. I dial Cami’s cell and frown when she doesn’t answer.
That’s not like her.
I try her home line and she answers on the fourth ring, sounding sleepy.
“Did I wake you up?” I glance at my phone, frowning when I see that it’s one in the afternoon.
“Yeah, I was taking a nap.”
“I’m sorry, babe. I was just calling to hear your voice.”
“How’s it going down there?”
“Not bad. There’s a lot of information to absorb, and the meetings are long, but it’s great to be around these guys again. It feels really good.”
“That’s good.”
She’s saying the right words, but her voice is flat and she sounds . . . wrong.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m sorry.” She sighs. “I’m actually not feeling great today. I’m nauseous and a little crampy, which my doctor assures me is normal for this stage, and I must have slept on my shoulder weird because it’s killing me. That’s when I slept, because I don’t sleep well without you.”
“I know. I’m so sorry that you’re not feeling well, sweetheart. I hate that I’m not there to take care of you.”
“Well, you’re not. And I don’t mean that as snarky as it sounds. I’m just bitchy.”
“I get bitchy when I don’t feel good too; trust me.”
“Oh, I’m sure I’ll find that out firsthand eventually,” she says, sounding a bit like herself. “I’ll wear a sexy nurse outfit to help you feel better.”
“That sounds like a great deal to me.”
Ringo sticks his head out of the conference room door, indicating they’re ready to get back to work.
“Baby, I have to go. I’m sorry. I’ll be home as soon as I can.”
“I know.” She yawns. “Love you.”
I hang up, feeling guilty as fuck for not being at home with her. I don’t like that she’s having cramps. Even if her doctor says it’s normal, it doesn’t sound good at all. I send Mia a quick text and ask her to look in on Cami for me, then turn my ringer off and return to the meeting.
“Everything okay?” Ringo asks.
“I think so,” I reply, and sit across from him. “How much more do we have to discuss?”
“We should be able to wrap things up here in a few hours, and you can be on a flight home this evening.”
“That would be great.” I nod and open my laptop. “Cami’s not feeling great.”
“Civilian life sure is different, isn’t it?”
“Man, that’s the truth.” I nod and look over at my old friend and former wingman. “Priorities change so much. Two years ago, all I could think about was getting in the air and maybe getting laid once in a while.”
“And now you just want to stay home and be with your girl,” Ringo says with a grin. He mindlessly fiddles with the ring on his left hand. “I understand. I loved the Navy. I loved the travel and the rush of the flying, the thrill of it all. But then I met Suzanne, and the thrill changed.”
“Exactly.” It occurs to me that I haven’t picked my ring up from the jeweler yet and mentally put it on my calendar for this week. It seems there’s a lot to do before we get married in less than a week, but I can’t wait. “I was so pissed after the wreck,” I say quietly. “I didn’t want my flying career to end. Not like that.”
“Like I said before, you got a shitty deal.”
“I didn’t even really want to come home. I felt so lost when I was still in the hospital and they told me that I couldn’t fly anymore. But there was nothing else to do. So I came home, and worked with my dad. I’m thankful that he gave me the work, but it didn’t drive me. It was Cami that really healed me. I may have been fine physically when I first got home, but she’s the one that helped me get my head on straight.”
“Well, let’s wrap this up so we can get you home to her.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
We dig in for several hours, going over potential employees, looking through résumés, and deciding who I’ll call in for interviews next week when Linda, Ringo’s assistant, pokes her head in the door.
“I’m sorry to interrupt, but, Landon, you have an urgent call from a Mia.”
I frown and my gaze immediately meets Ringo’s.
“You can take it on this phone,” he says, and hands me the receiver, punching the button for the correct line.
“Mia?”
“Landon, I’m sorry to call like this, but your cell kept sending me to voice mail.”
“It’s fine, what’s up?”
“First, I don’t want to freak you out. I went to Cami’s to check on her like you asked, and she looked horrible. She started throwing up and couldn’t stop, and kept complaining about her shoulder. I finally talked her into going to the ER, and she’s been admitted. I really think you should come home as soon as possible.”
Ringo, who can hear everything, says, “I can fly you up.”
“I’m on my way. Is she okay now?”
“They’re still assessing,” she says. “Just come home.”
“Can I talk to her?”
There’s silence for a minute, then Mia returns. “No, she’s talking to the doctor.”
“Mia, what aren’t you telling me?”
“Nothing. Just get here.”
“Tell her I love her.” I hang up and immediately gather my things. “How fast can you have me up there?”
“Three hours, max.”
“That’s too long.”
“Sorry, man, I can’t control geography, and I’m flying a Cessna, not a Navy jet.”
“Fuck,” I mutter, and rush behind him out of the building. “She didn’t sound good when I spoke to her.”
“Beating yourself up won’t solve anything.” Ringo pulls out his phone. “I need the Cessna ready to go in fifteen minutes. I don’t give a shit, make it happen. There’s an emergency.”
He clicks off and leads me to his car.
“I appreciate you doing this.”
“You’re my friend, Landon. This is the least I can do. We’ll get there.”
I nod and stare at my phone, praying Cami’s okay.
BECAUSE OF THE fucking weather, it took us almost four hours to get to Portland, then it was another thirty minutes of finding my car and busting ass to get to the hospital.
When I finally find Mia and the others, I’m going crazy with worry.
“Landon!”
Mia jumps out of her chair and rushes to me, hugging me tight.
“Where is she?”
“She’s in surgery,” Riley says. Her eyes look tired. Steven is sitting with Addie and Jake, and Kat is on her phone.
“Your mom and dad are on their way down,” she says to Steven, who nods wearily.
“What the fuck is happening?” I demand.
“They won’t tell us much,” Mia says. “But there really wasn’t time.”
“Why?”
“Right after I hung up with you, the doctor told me that they needed to take Cami in for emergency surgery, and then everything happened so fast, before I knew it, they all rushed off, and I was escorted in here. I called the others, and that’s really all I know.”
“They didn’t say if the baby was okay? Or what she was having surgery for?”
“No,” she replies, visibly frustrated. She pulls Cami’s ring out of her pocket and passes it to me.
“Why do you have this?”
“They wouldn’t let her wear it in surgery.”
I march over to the registration desk.
“I’m here regarding Cami LaRue. She’s been in surgery for a few hours. Can you give me any information?”
The woman smiles. “Let me call back.” She speaks with someone briefly, then hangs up the phone. “The doctor should be out shortly. Cami was just taken to recovery.”
I sigh in relief. If she’s in recovery, she must be okay. “Thank you.” I return to the others. “She’s out of surgery.”
“Thank God,” Riley says just as a man in green scrubs comes through the electronic doors.
“Are you friends of Cami’s?”
“Yes,” I say immediately. “I’m her fiancé.”
He shakes my hand and frowns slightly. “Cami’s surgery went well, and she’s in recovery. As soon as we make sure she’s handled the anesthesia well and she’s settled in a room, you’ll be able to see her.”
“Thank you. What happened? Is the baby okay?”
He sighs. “Cami came in with symptoms of an ectopic pregnancy, meaning the embryo had implanted in her fallopian tube rather than her uterus. We did an ultrasound to confirm. Unfortunately, her tube ruptured and we had to perform emergency surgery. She lost her fallopian tube and the baby.”
I drop into a chair and stare at my feet.
We lost the baby.
“The good news is, the surgery went well and we were able to clean up all of the infection. She’ll have some recovery time of a few weeks, but she’s going to be just fine.”
“Thank you,” Riley says.
“I’m very sorry for your loss.”
Someone is rubbing circles on my back. The girls are talking about making calls and what they can do for her once she’s home.
It’s all just noise to me. I need to see her.
Finally, after what seems like hours, a nurse comes to get me and leads me to Cami’s room. She’s asleep, and I’m told that she’s been given a strong dose of pain medicine so she’ll probably sleep for a couple of hours.
I sit next to her and take her hand in mine. Jesus, she looks so small in this hospital bed. Aside from some circles under her eyes and the IV in her arm, she looks no different from when I left her yesterday morning.
And yet, our whole world just changed.
She’ll be devastated. Fuck, I’m devastated. After the shock wore off, we were both excited about the baby.
But we can have another. We have our whole lives ahead of us. I pull her ring out of my pocket and slip it onto her finger.
“I’m so sorry, baby,” I whisper as tears fall down my cheeks. Suddenly there’s a hand on my shoulder, startling me.
“She’s a strong girl,” my mother says, tears falling from her own eyes. “I’m so sorry about your bambino.” She kisses my head and sits across from me.
“Me too.” I can’t take my eyes off of Cami. “Why did this happen? And I don’t want to hear that everything happens for a reason, because that’s bullshit.”
“Watch your mouth,” Mama orders, making my lips twitch. “We don’t know why this happened, and I know that makes you angry. Did you know that your father and I lost a baby after Mia?”
My eyes whip over to hers. The room is softly lit, making it difficult to see her face. “What?”
“We did,” she says softly. “And there was no logical explanation. It just happens, Landon. And it breaks your heart.”
I nod and lean my forehead against Cami’s hand. I’m ready for her to wake up. I want to see her beautiful eyes and kiss her. I need her.
“It will make you stronger, and one day, when you are blessed with other children, it will make you that much more thankful for them.”
“I just need to make sure that Cami’s okay,” I reply. “As long as she’s healthy, that’s all that matters.”
“She’s a strong girl,” Mama repeats, and reaches across to pat my hand over Cami’s. “And she loves you more than anything in this world. She always has. She’ll blame herself.”
“It’s not her fault.” I frown and shake my head. “That’s silly.”
“Grief isn’t logical. She’ll blame herself and she’ll feel that she’s let you down. Be careful with her for a little while.”
I nod. “Thank you, Mama. Will you tell the others that they can come in to see her after she wakes up?”
“I guess that’s my dismissal, then,” she says with a smile. “I’ll leave you with your girl.” She circles the bed and stops to kiss me once more. “I’m so sorry for your hurt, my sweet boy.”
I want to weep in her arms, comforted the way only a mother can, but I nod and gruffly say, “Thank you.”
Mama leaves, and I lean on the bed, Cami’s hand firmly in mine, and close my eyes, listening to the rhythm of her breathing until I’m lulled to sleep beside her.