“Where’s the mutt?” I ask Mom. The house is way too quiet tonight. Jansen is still out of town at a convention discussing the latest techniques in raising cattle. Mary is working a double shift, and Cyan… Lord only knows what that boy is doing, but I wish I had joined him. Anything would be better than eating dinner with my mom on a Friday night, alone in the house.

If you looked up loser right now in the dictionary you would see my face.

“You mean Kong?” Mom asks, looking over at me and I really don’t like that smile on her face. I don’t trust it either.

“That mutt is not Kong.”

“The mayor’s daughter kept him. She took all of his stuff.”

“She stole my dog?”

“Well, you didn’t want him did you?”

“That’s beside the point! She can’t just steal my damn dog. There are laws against that kind of stuff!”

“But, you didn’t want the dog, Black,” Mom says calmly—too calmly. I should take note of that and proceed cautiously, but I can’t. I didn’t have a bit of luck tracking down Kong today. The mess with Addie is just a fucking cherry on top of the sundae. I’m so stressed and frustrated and I can’t take it out on Linda. If I do that, it invites her back in my life to fuck with me. So, I’m focusing it on the other woman in my life who is destroying the peace I’m trying to build.

Adelle Harrington.

Oh I got her texts apologizing for thinking I was Luka and explaining how she took it for granted when I delivered papers and told her to tell the Mayor who they were from. I can even kind of understand it, but damn it! We spent time together, we went out on a date—we made out—all of that and she didn’t even know Black was my real name—just a nickname the town gave me. Like, why would they do that? She’s insane. I have a knack for attracting insane women… insane women who like to mess with a man’s dog!

“That’s not the point! She can’t just take my dog. Why do women think that’s okay? A man’s dog is sacred! Kong was sacred!”

“And little Kong?”

“His name is not Kong. Shrew or Mini-Linda maybe but not Kong.”

“Don’t give the poor little guy that name. That’s just animal cruelty. Now if my grand-pup was a snake… Linda might be a good name.”

“Quit distracting me. I’m upset. I’m going to get the damn dog back.”

“I knew you loved Kong!”

“I do not! Thanks to that mutt I now have a pierced nipple.”

“Those can be fun. I’ve got two.”

I stop talking. I’m pretty sure my life flashes before my eyes.

“Mom. I love you, so I’m going to say this only one time and then after I go and get that damn dog, I’m going to come home and drink myself into a coma and pray I never remember what was said tonight.”

“What’s that?”

“Never, ever tell me about your nipples. Actually—never tell me about any part of your boobs… or heck even your anatomy in general.”

“Is this what we have come to Black Horn Lucas?”

I hold my head down on the table.

“You are never to call me Horn either. You know I took that name off my birth certificate as soon as I legally could.”

“I know, it hurt my heart. It’s a beautiful name and I have such fond memories of that night in that restored Model T with the shiny black horn. That rumble seat is the main reason you and your brother are here. Your daddy—bless his soul—had to squeeze that horn over and over to drown out the noise …” she trails off recalling her memories before ending in a heartfelt sigh. The trip down memory lane might be nice if we weren’t talking about my parents having sex—and the despised middle name I got rid of.

“Mom—”

“Fine, fine. I get the message. I’ll hush. You’ve gotten so grouchy since you moved back from Dallas, do you realize that, Black?”

“I can’t do this right now. I’m going to go get my dog.”

“What are you going to do? Just march over to the Mayor’s and demand the dog back?”

“That’s exactly what I’m going to do and if Adelle Harrington doesn’t give him back, then I’ll—”

“Yes, son? What exactly will you do to the Mayor’s only daughter?”

“I’ll arrest her for theft!”

“You should do that,” Mom nods, giving me approval I wasn’t really expecting. I walk to the door and grab my keys off the hook on the wall. My hand is on the knob and I’m almost home free when Mom says something that stops me in my tracks. “Of course, since you don’t want the dog. It seems like to me you’re just looking for an excuse to put Orchid in handcuffs.”

“Orchid?”

“Her new family name,” Mom says and it feels like I’ve got damn fish flopping in my stomach when she says that with that damn grin I’m starting to hate.

I’m falling into her plan. I know and I can’t seem to stop myself. Instead I’m picturing Addie in handcuffs…

I walk out and slam the door on my Mom’s laughter.

Son of a bitch.