Chapter Twenty-Nine
Melina
Waiting is the hardest part. I spend a lot of time thinking about these last months. About my life before Austin. I hated school, but it was a way to get out from under my brother’s thumb and I was willing to do anything—even sit in a classroom learning a subject I detest.
I would go back to school and learn for Austin, though. If he plans to marry me, he loves me. I think he just doesn’t understand love. I’ll spend the rest of our lives teaching him.
It’s almost midnight when we hear a commotion at the front door. The men are home and the muscles in my stomach unclench.
Moon sports a bloody white dress shirt unbuttoned at the collar. Gomez is pristine in a three piece suit looking like he doesn’t have a care in the world, and my man looks sexy as hell in jeans and a black T-shirt. Mak raises her eyebrows at her husband. He pulls her into his arms. “One down,” he says softly, but I hear it and hope it’s my brother.
“You’re sexy when you kill someone who needs it,” Mak replies. I still can’t get over that she was a cop. I guess loving a bad man changes you. It’s changed me. I turn to my bad man and I want nothing more than to sink to my knees and worship him. I feel slightly dizzy at the thought. Hell, I’ve never gone down on a man and here I am thinking about it in a room full of people. Poor Austin will need to teach me what he likes.
He hooks an arm around my neck and pulls me close. “Whatever you’re thinking, save it for later,” he whispers.
My face flames and I laugh self-consciously. “How did you know?”
He glances down at my breasts and back up. “Your nipples went as hard as my cock.” He jerks me against the heat between his legs. Yes, he’s hard. I swear I would take the belt for him right now. How can he do this to me so quickly? We still haven’t discussed the yellow shower he gave me when I was unconscious. I need to understand what makes him tick. I need answers on why he killed his mother and her boyfriend. Most of all I need to know he loves me and I need to hear it in words. I don’t know if I’ll be happy with two out of three. I want it all.
“Are you sneaking in the window or taking her up to her room now?” Gomez asks Austin, and my face flames even more.
I screech in an unladylike manner when Austin scoops me up, cradling me in his arms, and heads to the stairs without answering Gomez. What the hell has come over this man? He strides to the room after I tell him which one it is. There was an extra door—a linen closet that threw him off, and we almost had sex in a closet. I don’t think either of us would mind. After we reach the actual bedroom, he lifts me higher in his arms, slowly releases my legs, and I slide down the front of his body. The hot burn in his eyes makes me catch my breath.
“Strip,” he says and steps back.
I watch him as I unbutton the blouse I’m wearing, my fingers fumbling in anticipation. The soft pink bra is all that remains on my top half less than a minute later. I slowly slide the zipper down my skirt and let it fall to the Spanish tile floor. Austin’s eyes go darker than I ever remember seeing them.
“All of it,” he breathes harshly. He’s amazingly sexy with his hands clenched at his side and an expression that melts me into the floor.
I unsnap my bra and let it drop while watching his face the entire time. I shimmy out of the thin scrap of matching material Cori referred to as panties.
“Turn around. I need to see how you’ve healed.”
My ink. I’m actually proud of it. I turn slowly and display my back. He steps closer and I feel the heat coming off his body. His finger slowly trails down the design and goosebumps break out across my skin. “You painted my life,” I whisper.
“Only the parts that make you strong,” he says huskily in my ear. He leans over and kisses between my shoulder blades, placing his hands on my waist. He pulls me back against his chest and rubs his jeans-clad cock against my ass.
His hand snakes under my arm and covers my breast positioned over the skeletal arm and hand. “Mine,” he whispers in my ear as his other hand finds my ass and covers the ink there as well.
I am his. I don’t know why or how it happened but the longer I’ve been away from him, the more I’ve needed him and the more I knew he was perfect for me.
“Please fuck me,” I whisper back.
He turns me around suddenly and lifts me again. I’m tossed on the bed a second later and I giggle. That is until he slowly removes his belt from the loops of his jeans and my heartrate increases. “Not now or here,” he says with a wicked smile and removes his clothes.
The temperature in the room rises. “Not ever,” I reply half-heartedly because the thought of the belt actually excites me. I’m seriously screwed up but that makes two of us.
“We’ll see,” he laughs huskily. “Lean back and open your legs.” His lips form a hard line as he waits for me to comply. I finally do as he asks even though it makes me uncomfortable to be open this way. He jerks my legs forward so they hang over the bed and uses his legs to spread them wider. “Grab the pillow at the top of the bed if you need to scream.” The fire flares to life in his eyes again and I’m burning in their flame.
I’m so damn wet I’m surprised there isn’t a puddle beneath me. His fingers move under my ass and he abruptly lifts me higher. Looking into my eyes, the tip of his cock slides an inch inside me. Slow, so fucking slow. He glides out and I moan until he slides back in. A minute later, I know his game. He’s giving me just a bit of his cock and driving me crazy. “Fuck me,” I beg and he only laughs.
“When I’m ready.” His eyes hold promise and determination to drive me wild first.
I inhale deeply and try to relax enough to enjoy what he’s doing. The muscles of his jaw clench tight when he pulls out. His arms flex when he pulls my pussy closer. I could watch him all day and never grow tired of this sight. On the other hand, I might die of unfulfilled gratification if he takes any longer. He moves one hand from my ass and grabs his cock. He slides his hard, hot length up and down my folds, increasing my need. I’m on fire and want him buried deep inside. His finger moves low and rubs my asshole. My eyes open wide and I almost object. The look he gives stops me.
“Someday, but not tonight,” he groans roughly and I know any thought that terrifies me, excites him. This is how it will always be with us. “I promise it will hurt when we do it.” He’s figured me out. Why does the thought of pain turn me on so fucking much? I want him to hurt me. I crave it. “You ready?” he asks with new light in his eyes.
“Yes,” I breathe, unable to say more.
His cock rams deep inside and I cry out while trying to grab the pillow. Austin laughs, withdraws, and then drives back in. I have no choice but to cover my face and bite into the pillow’s softness. He lifts my right leg so my foot plants on his upper chest and moves my ass a little farther off the bed to gain leverage. He’s so fucking deep I can’t control the orgasm that rips through me sooner than I want.
“It’s not over, Melina, hold on.” He continues ramming inside me and the need builds again. It’s almost painful and also the most incredible exhilaration I’ve experienced. Need centers where our bodies join and tentacles of fire find a path to my nipples. I ache everywhere and pure animal desire consumes me.
There’s no way he’s leaving me here in Arizona after this. I need a daily dose of Austin. Hell, hourly would work. My groin tightens and the steady contracting of muscles begins again as I’m thrown into another orgasm, this one wilder than the last.
“Fuck,” he yells when he comes. Every inch of my body burns. Every nerve ending is on heightened alert at his touch. He collapses on top of me for a few seconds before rolling off and pulling me tightly into his arms. His rough fingers glide across my skin while our breathing slows.
We lay like this for a long time. The sex fuzz finally clears my head enough to ask a question. “Tell me about your mother?”
He leans across me first and turns off the light. I don’t mind. If it makes it easier for him to talk in the dark, I’m good. “She was a bitch.” He remains silent for a minute and I give him time. “She sold me to men who liked little boys and then to men who liked older boys. She was a fucked up mess for as far back as I can remember. Not mother material.”
I dig my fingers into the skin of his arm, but he doesn’t flinch. “Her boyfriend, from the article, was he one of them?”
“The worst.”
I can just barely make out his face in the dark and I lift my hand to his cheek. It’s what he isn’t saying that’s even more horrifying. He was only twelve when he killed them. To give a child no other way out is inconceivable and at the same time not surprising. I thought of killing my father for what he did to my mother. I’ve thought of killing my brother for what he’s done to me and any person or animal I’ve cared for. To push Austin over the edge at twelve had to be a living nightmare. “I’m glad they’re dead,” I tell him sincerely. “Now I don’t need to kill them.”
His eyes close and he rubs his face against my palm. “I kill people, Melina. It’s who I am and what I do.”
I understand what he’s telling me. I grew up in this life. I know what it takes to run an organization of criminals. “Do they need killing?”
“Yes,” he says without hesitation.
I kiss his other cheek. “Can you live with it?” I ask because it’s all that really matters. We all do things we don’t want to do or aren’t proud of. I have no doubt Austin has done terrible things. I don’t believe he’s a terrible person, though he believes it of himself.
His eyes open and now they’re murky in the shadows. “No one’s ever asked me that.”
Why would they? No one’s loved him the way I do. “Someone should have. If a person needs killing, I don’t have a problem. If the killing hurts you, we’ll find another way.”
His teeth flash for a split second. “It doesn’t hurt me. It feeds me. I’m a monster and you’re crazy if you don’t run.”
Running hasn’t entered my mind these last few weeks. We’ve been around violence our entire lives. Austin will protect me and I him. “We aren’t that different,” I whisper. I change the subject because there’s something else that’s bothering me. “I’m not on the pill,” I tell him.
He squeezes me a little tighter. “I can’t give you children. I took care of the problem years ago. My bloodline doesn’t need to continue. If you want children, we can adopt.”
I place my finger to his lips. “We can think about that in a few years.” He bites my finger and I giggle. “Tell me why you peed on me.”
He licks the finger he bit and slides hair from my face with his hand. “I’m not sure. It just happened. I shouldn’t have sent you away. I was angry with myself.” He slides his fingers through my hair this time. “You’re mine. I just didn’t realize it in time. I wanted to hurt your brother for what he did to Cindy and I wanted to hurt you for making me feel so conflicted.”
My fingers slide over his heart. “You feel,” I tell him.
“Then I’m failing at the entire sociopath profile. You have no idea the man I am and what I’ve done.”
Running my fingers over his hard chest, I glance into his shadowed eyes. “I love you,” I say simply. Austin pulls me close and kisses me without replying. I can wait for the words, but I won’t marry him until he tells me he loves me. He releases my lips and I smile. “I’ve never gone down on a man. Are you willing to teach me?”
“Fuck,” he groans. “I’ll teach you anything, especially that.”
I wiggle away and sit up beside him. “You’re big. I don’t think I’ll be good at deep-throating.”
A short burst of laughter escapes him. His voice is throaty when he speaks. “We’ll take it slow and you’ll be a pro in no time. I take it the escorts have been coaching you?”
Of course he would figure that out. “Cori told me she could give me deep throat lessons if I need them.”
“The only person giving you lessons on sex is me. Don’t make me get my fucking belt.” His smile belies his stern tone.
I look down at his cock, which grows bigger by the second. “Should I kiss it?”
“That’s a good start,” is his husky reply.
I lean over and kiss the head, following that up with a long, slow lick. He’s salty and tastes kind of strange, bitter maybe but not to the point of unpleasantness. He tastes like sex. The smell he leaves on me after sex. The way I smell right now. That’s what he tastes like and I love it.
“Flick your tongue across the head,” he whispers.
I do as he says and he gives me more directions. Within a few minutes, I’m taking as much of him in my throat as I can. He’s up on one elbow watching me and controlling my head with his other hand. I gag a few times and he immediately backs off. I massage his balls with one hand and they tighten under my fingers as I continue taking his cock. His breathing accelerates and he pulls my hair tighter while increasing the speed of my mouth over him. The hand not holding my hair slips around my throat when the first spurt of hot seed shoots into my mouth. His fingers are firm but he allows me air as he pumps furiously in and out. Cum rolls down my throat and I’m extremely proud of myself when his groans fill the room.
He wipes the side of my lip with his finger. I guess I’m a messy girl. He collapses back onto the bed and takes me with him. I’m shocked when he kisses me after what I’ve just done, but it feels right. The taste in my mouth blends with the warmth of his and I put everything I feel into the kiss. I have so much love to offer and this man will receive it all.
I’m finally needed.