Chapter Thirty-Seven
Ford - Christmas Eve - Fort Collins, CO
I pace the length of the front room of our house, staring down at my minions. The face-eaters, as Spencer and Veronica affectionately call them, are lined up in front of the Christmas tree. The blinking lights reflect in their brown eyes.
We have three highly trained protection dogs now that Five is here. I look across the open space first floor of our historic bungalow in Fort Collins, and spy Veronica cuddling Five to her chest as Ashleigh hovers over her, talking a mile a minute about our baby. Veronica’s swollen belly, ready to deliver in just a few more weeks, provides a convenient place for little Five to rest his tiny bootied feet.
I smile at Ashleigh when I catch her looking at me and she smiles back, rocking a fussy one-year-old Kate to her chest. And then I take my attention back to business.
“Face-eaters,” I say. The term has caught on. They are collectively called that now. “Let’s go through the rules one more time.” I turn on my heel and pace in front of them. “One. You will not drool on her. Two. Licking is by invitation only.” I look at Jimmy for this. He’s our newest addition, purchased once we found out Ash was pregnant with Five. His ears prick up when he notices my attention. He’s a licker, so naturally, he objects to that one. “Three. No sniffing of—”
“They’re here!” Rook calls out from the couch in front of the window. I think she’s more excited than anyone. She jumps up and stands in front of me. “Are you ready?”
I nod at her. “I was just making sure the minions are on their best behavior.”
Rook straightens my tie and then pats me on the shoulder like I need moral support.
I kinda do need moral support. This new addition to my family is a big deal.
My daughter, Kate, came to me through my wife, Ashleigh. My son, Five, is ours together. So Sasha is more mine than ours at the moment. I feel the need to do this right. To bring her into the fold properly.
The doorbell rings and everyone stops talking for a moment. I look back at them and see nothing but smiles. They are excited, but they go back to what they were doing and let me handle it. Spencer and Ronin are sitting at the kitchen table, drinking beer and laughing about something. Ash and Veronica are still busy with Five and Kate. And my mother is talking to Mr. Li with a little too much interest.
“You’re gonna be fine, Ford. Just answer the door,” Rook says.
I nod and walk over to the front door. I can see him through the small window.
James Fenici is coming to my house for Christmas Eve dinner. And he’s bringing me a kid. Not just any kid. Sasha Cherlin. The girl who started… well, I look around one more time before reaching for the door handle… everything. She started everything.
I open the door and Fenici smiles and extends his hand. “Aston.”
“James,” I say politely as I shake. And then I look down at his young wife and wish they were all staying. Rook would love to have a friend who is actually younger than her for once. “You must be Harper.” I shake her hand too and move aside to let them in.
But it’s the girl who’s missing who makes my heart skip a beat. “Where is Sasha?”
“In the truck,” James says. “She’s having a hard time. She said she’ll be in soon. But you know, she’s thirteen. So…” He shrugs.
I grab my coat and put it on. And then I gently place Sasha’s present in the box Ashleigh prepared. It’s a red box with a green bow. And the bow stays on, even if you open the box. Ashleigh says all the best presents have bows attached to the tops.
I take her word on that.
“Be right back,” I tell my houseguests. And then I walk outside and pull the door closed behind me. Sasha looks out the window of the black truck and I give her a small wave.
She does not wave back.
I take a seat on the top step of my porch stoop. It’s cold tonight, but not too bad. We can wait her out.
It takes her exactly two minutes and seven seconds to decide to come meet me on the porch. And as she walks up the path to my home, I take her in for the first time since I met her last year.
She doesn’t smile, but I know the braces are long gone. Removed before her grandparents died. But her hair is long and flowing down her front. And she’s tall too. Much taller than the little girl I met last Christmas Eve. She’s wearing a fancy black coat with fuzzy mittens and hat to match. Her dress is a dark red, as are her shoes. She even has a purse that she clutches in her hands as she walks towards me and then stops at the bottom step.
“Hi, Ford.” It comes out fine, but a moment later, she’s crying. She takes off her mitten and wipes her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to be sorry,” I tell her back. “It’s a hard thing to do to leave the people you love.”
She nods her head but the tears stream down her cheeks. “I don’t know what you want from me. James says I have to learn to be a normal teenager. But I’m just not sure I can be that person.” She sniffs and wipes her tears again. “I don’t want to disappoint you, Ford. Because if you left me, or dropped me off somewhere…” She shakes her head and more tears fall down her face.
“That’s not what James is doing, Sasha. He’s not dropping you off. He’s bringing you home. To me.”
She removes her other mitten and drops them both on the ground so she can wipe her eyes. I grab her present, then stand up and walk down the stairs, picking her mittens up for her, before sitting back down on a lower step. “You wanna know what’s new for me this year?” I grab her hand and tug a little. Just enough to get her to step forward and then sit down on the step next to me.
“Sure,” she says, hugging her coat close to keep warm.
“Last year when we met, I had no girlfriend, remember?”
That makes her smile and nod. “You were so clueless.”
“And you were so smart. I owe you big for the lessons I learned from you, Sasha. Because this year, I have a wife, two children, and another on the way.” She looks up at me, surprised. “No. You, Sasha. You’re the one on the way.”
“Oh.” She tucks her hands into her pockets and takes a deep breath. “I don’t know what you want from me. I’m not a good candidate for a daughter. I don’t really follow directions. And I’m opinionated and not willing to bend.” She looks up at me. “I’m kinda stuck in my ways and my ways are keeping me stuck. Does that make sense?”
“Sure. It makes sense. I’m not expecting you to act a certain way. I just want you to find yourself, Sasha. Find the girl you want to be, instead of the girl you left behind, as Rook would say.”
“Rook, the girl-who-is-a-friend?”
“Yeah.” I laugh. “Rook. She’s inside waiting for you. So is everyone else. My mother. Ashleigh’s father. My friends and children. We’re all here for you, kid. I told you I don’t celebrate Christmas. But now I have kids. So I do. And I don’t have parties, either. But today you came, so I felt a celebration was in order.”
She stares up at me with those blue eyes. “What if they don’t like the girl I am now? What if I can’t find the girl I want to be fast enough for them to like me? I’ve killed people, Ford. I’ve seen things. I’ve lost so much.” She starts crying again. “And I’m angry. OK? There. I said it. I’m pissed off because this life sucks. And I always get screwed over. And just when I get attached to James and Harper and think, OK, this is my family, then they don’t want me anymore.”
“They love you enough to accept the fact that they can’t give you what you need, Sasha. And we can.”
“You guys want me to go to school. And be normal. But I’m not normal. I’m a really fucked-up kid.” She looks over at me. “A really fucked-up person, Ford. I’m probably not even safe to be around other kids my age.”
“Don’t be silly. And besides, I start filming in New Zealand for that show I’m producing. We leave in a few weeks. So you won’t even go to school this year. We’re gonna go bum around Down Under for six months. Enjoy two summers. Get to know each other. And then next fall, we’ll come home and be a normal family. So we have three whole seasons to practice.”
She’s silent after that. And we just sit in the cold saying nothing for several minutes. “What’s in the box?” she finally asks, her curiosity getting the best of her.
I pick it up and place it on her lap.
“What is it?” Her face turns up to mine when she feels the shuffling inside. And then she laughs and lifts the lid off.
The little gray kitten is just stretching out her paws inside the blanket. “Oh my God,” Sasha says. “A kitten. I’ve never had a kitten.”
“I wanted another dog, but Ashleigh, pfftt.” I hike my thumb behind me in the direction of the house. “She put her foot down on that one. We have three face-eaters. So I figured it was fine to get something cuddly.” She lifts up the kitten and brings it to her chest. “For you.”
She nuzzles the kitten’s soft fur and smiles. Her shoulders relax. My heart swells with her change in behavior. That a kitten can do this for a sad and broken child, well. It’s touching. “Merry Christmas,” I say.
She snuggles the kitten once more, and then takes a deep breath. Like maybe she can do this after all. “Merry Christmas, Ford.”
I stand up and offer her my hand.
She accepts it.
And then we walk up the front stairs to her new home together.
I stop at the front door and turn to her. “You’re officially part of the Team now, Cherlin. But first things first. I need you to hate Ronin. No matter how charming he is, you must not fall for it. He may be on the Team too, but we’re mortal enemies till the end.”
“Got it,” she says, laughing, as I open the door and wave her inside.
She walks into the room and everyone greets her while I stand back and take off my coat and hang it up in the closet.
I watch my friends and family as they fuss over her like I told them to. She never had a chance against Ronin’s charms, but that pretend indifference gives us something to plot about. Making Ronin miserable is good times.
Sasha greets everyone and shows James and Harper her kitten. I can physically detect the moment when James sighs with relief.
Not because he’s getting rid of her, as Sasha thinks.
But because she’s getting a second chance at a normal life.
Last Christmas Eve I was sad. I was sad that Rook didn’t want me in the way I wanted her. I was sad that the women I thought were fulfilling a need for me really weren’t. And I was sad that I let my life become so meaningless after my father died.
And that night, Rook told me she changed her life by wishing on a star the year before. She went from a sad abused girl to a strong and confident woman. In one year.
So I tried it. I was desperate. Like Sasha is probably desperate for change tonight too.
Never in a million years would I have thought that wishing on a Christmas star could get me this. So I look out the window real quick and find Sirius, our gift-giver.
And I make a wish for Sasha this year.
I wish her heart to be mended.
Maybe it doesn’t happen in one year. That’s OK. We are patient people. I will be there for her as long as she needs me.
Just please, I ask the star. Make her whole again.