Chapter 16
Speak Easy
Over the following days, Evelyn discovered a side to herself she only knew from distant musings. Lucian decided everything for her from the type of panties she wore to what vegetables she ate with her dinner. She couldn’t imagine how such an arrangement was benefiting him. She, on the other hand was making out like a bandit.
She saw no fault in temporarily indulging his request to take better care of her, so long as he didn’t override her decision to continue with her education. Her lessons with Jason took an incredible amount of time. The work she did on her own often left her tired, but Lucian was encouraging her every step of the way. His determination to control the little details was actually helping her focus on her top priorities.
The freedom of not having to make one decision after another cleared her head into a state of purity she never experienced before. Her tasks were simple: focus on her schooling, rest, tend to Lucian—which was never a chore—and simply be.
It was a vacation from herself in a fundamental but intangible way she was quickly learning to live with. And she liked his choices, from the style of underwear to the menu. He knew her so well, knew what she liked, and appeared to understand exactly what she needed.
On Friday morning, Lucian arranged for Dugan to take her to visit Pearl. Evelyn complained, still feeling beaten down from her last visit with her mother, but he felt it was for the best that she replace her recent memories with better ones. In the end, she was glad he pushed her.
Pearl was quiet, somewhat withdrawn, but the presence of sullen doubt and jaded opinions helped to put Evelyn’s world back on its proper axis. As always, her mother complained about her stay at the rehab as though she were an imprisoned criminal, voicing falsehoods of how good she used to have it on the streets.
Evelyn took stock of the increased thickness of her mother’s wrists, the fullness of her hair, and the lack of sallowness in her skin. These were the evidence of better living. Lucian had done this as well. Her mother, who had been malnourished and withered since Evelyn could remember, was finally beginning to look like a somewhat healthy person. Her jaded, cynical opinions of the world said otherwise, as did her nonsensical ramblings that indicated mental illness, but Evelyn had grown used to such tendencies.
Nevertheless, Lucian had suggested setting Pearl up with a specialist capable of performing evaluations of her mental health and possibly getting her on additional medication. Evelyn agreed it wouldn’t hurt to utilize the professionals at her mother’s disposal, but it was still a lot to take in. Her mother was not normal and would always be a little bit broken. Seeing physical improvement at least made up for something.
Once her visit with Pearl was over, Evelyn saw that Lucian was again right. Seeing her mother had healed some of the hurt from her prior visit. Once back at the penthouse, she’d called Lucian and thanked him, telling him she’d like to see her again soon. Lucian seemed touched by her gratitude and wished her a good rest of the day. Next it was off to her lesson with Jason.
***
As she sat, distracted by the clock, impatient for Lucian to return home, Jason read a page from the light chapter book they were working on. It was about a seal named Sam. Or was he a starfish? She wasn’t paying much attention.
“Evelyn, it’s your turn.”
She looked away from the clock on the wall. “Oh. Sorry.”
He laughed. “Just like the rest of my students. Here,” he said, pointing to the paragraph they were on.
She fumbled over the words slowly, mispronouncing several. Jason never gave her the answers like she sometimes wished he would. Rather, he prompted her to take a second look and notice certain letter combinations. Evelyn easily became frustrated with her inability to simply read, but Jason had patience in spades.
“Very good,” he said when she finished the paragraph.
He read the next one, and she admired the way his voice easily flowed over the words. She hoped one day she too could read so smoothly. It was as if he somehow predicted the tone in which the characters intended to speak. Her words always came out jagged and segmented in a way that made it difficult to comprehend the purpose of each sentence.
They worked for several hours and she was getting hungry. His phone vibrated quietly on the table. He glanced at it and she paused in her reading. “Keep going,” he said, typing into his phone and putting it aside.
When she finished he shut the book. “We’re done?” she asked.
“Looks that way. Lucian asked that I wrap things up.”
“Oh.” She should’ve never given him Jason’s number.
“I’ll be back tomorrow at ten, so no homework tonight.”
“You’re coming tomorrow?”
“Yes, but not again until Monday afternoon. I’d like to see you do the pages I circled in your workbook by then. And I have another assignment for you, a sort of project.”
“Okay,” she agreed.
“I want you to start texting. No abbreviations, real words only. You have a smartphone, so there’s auto correct. Seeing the full spelling pop up will help with your recognition and increase your fluency. You’ll start picking up on sight words from the first syllables. I want you to try to send a text every hour you’re awake. Do you know how?”
She shook her head and he reached for her phone. He explained how to open the little speech bubble icon and plugged Lucian’s name in from her contacts. “Once the message is opened, all you have to do is click on the line and type your text. Try writing ‘On my way.’”
He slid her the phone and she searched the keys. “They aren’t in order.” Where the hell was the O?
“You’ll get used to that after a while. Just take it one word at a time.”
After several minutes of hunting for the right letters, she typed “On my wa,” and then auto correct plugged in the y she didn’t know went with “way.”
“Good. Now hit Send.”
She did, and her phone made a little vip sound that sent a little thrill through her. “I did it!”
“Yup.” Jason stood and collected his things. Her phone whistled and she frowned at the screen. “Did he reply?”
She slid her thumb over the screen and there was a text from Lucian. “It says . . .” The words were big. “I can’t read it.”
Jason looked at the phone and frowned. “We’ll have to tell him to start with smaller words. That first word is anxiously. You try reading the rest. Remember to break them down.”
She sounded out the next word. “A-wait-ing you.”
Jason smiled and she grinned as well, feeling her cheeks warm slightly. “Better get going.”
They parted at the elevators and she traveled up to the penthouse suites. The private elevator announced her arrival with a soft chime and her phone whistled. Reaching in the pocket of her shorts, she withdrew the cell just as she slid her key into the door. It was another text from Lucian.
Stop
She stilled, knowing the word stop. The door shut behind her and her phone whistled again. Her feet remained planted in the entrance of the suite just by the coat closet.
Clothes off
Her lip curled in a half smile as her neck stretched, trying to spot him. His tie coiled in a circle on the small accent table to her right. He was home.
She removed her shirt and shorts and toed off her flip-flops. Her thumbs glided under the band of her panties, and her arms slid out of her bra. Lastly, she undid her ponytail.
Her fingers snatched up her phone from the table and texted back. It took forever to find the keys. She tried to type done, but the word didn’t look right. So she went with a word she knew.
off
She heard the soft buzz of his phone receiving the text and assumed he was at his desk. A moment later, her phone whistled.
Let me see
She smirked and left the phone on the table as she slowly walked into the sitting area. Lucian sat behind his mahogany desk, fingers steepled beneath his chin, collar undone. He looked handsome as hell.
“Hi.”
His gaze traveled over her form. “You learned to text,” he said, smiling.
“I did.”
“I like it.” He slid his chair back. Warm sunlight filtered through the enormous glass wall behind him, catching highlights in his ebony hair. “Come here.”
Her bare feet pressed into the carpet as she stepped around his desk. Papers were piled haphazardly over the surface. Her body stood in the space just outside of the V of his knees. His gaze roamed up her legs and settled on her breasts. He didn’t move, just watched her.
“Do you remember the first time we met?”
How could she forget? He terrified her. She thought he was a guest at the hotel and, because she had inadvertently knocked over some things on his desk, was going to get her fired. “Yes.”
“I’ve left something for you in the guest room. Go put it on and come back here.”
She turned and followed the hall to the spare room. When she entered, there was an object sitting on the bed in a pile of folded satin that looked like an animal. Approaching the bed, she saw it was a feather duster. She laughed.
Her fingers pushed it aside and lifted the satin, discovering a maid’s uniform. It was nothing like the uniform she’d worn while employed at Patras. No, this was sinfully provocative.
The bodice was a whaleboned black corset. The skirt was more of a ballerina tutu made up of crinoline with a short lace apron tied up with ruched bows. Beneath the costume sat a matching lace bonnet and wide-net thigh highs topped with bows. Looking down, she spotted a very dangerous pair of platform pumps.
Is he kidding with the shoes?
She picked them up and her eyes widened. Clearly a man invented them. The heels reached from the tip of her middle finger to her wrist, easily over six inches. The soles were devil red. It simply wasn’t natural for a foot to arch that far.
She sat on the bed and shimmied into the costume. Cool air brushed her bare cheeks peeking out the ruffled skirt as she pulled on each thigh high. Taking a deep breath, she slid her feet into the shoes. Someone could get a nosebleed at this altitude.
She grabbed her bonnet and wobbled over to the mirror. After fitting the band to her head and finding her balance she—carefully—walked back to the common area, grabbing her feather duster along the way.
She entered the room, and in her best French accent, she said, “Bonjour, Monsieur Patras. You called for housekeeping?” She didn’t know where the French words came from. She supposed, after so many months at the hotel, she’d picked it up from some of the staff.
Great satisfaction filled her as his lips parted and he breathed, “Jesus.”
She smiled. “Shall I dust for you?”
He cleared his throat and shifted his weight in his seat. “Yes. I’d like you to dust my desk.”
Trying hard not to snap her neck or break an ankle, she did her best impression of a sexy walk. When she was within arm’s length of him and his desk, she pouted. “Oh, but I have strict instructions not to touch Monsieur Patras’s desk.”
“You’ll have to be careful not to make a mess.”
She smiled over her shoulder and bent enough to give him a peek at her bare behind as she proceeded to dust around his many papers. A ghostlike touch traced up the inside of her leg, and she paused. Her body arched over the right side of the desk and she continued to dust. A sheaf of papers on the far left corner tumbled to the ground, and she stilled.
“You knocked over my papers,” he said. She knew full well he deliberately pushed them over on purpose. “Better pick them up.”
She lowered herself to the ground and crawled to the papers. After stacking them in some sort of order, she slid them onto the desk. “I’m so sorry, Monsieur. Perhaps I can make it up to you?”
He grinned. “How?”
“I’ll do whatever you ask.”
Raising an eyebrow, he said, “Take out my cock.”
Her belly tightened as she crawled between his knees and undid his zipper. He was hard when she pulled him out. She looked to him for instruction.
“Put me in your mouth.”
Leaning forward, she engulfed him with her mouth and proceeded to suck him off. He didn’t touch her as she worked his flesh. When his length twitched over her tongue like he was about to come, he said, “Stop.”
His cock slid from her lips as she settled back on her heels. Something hot and liquid tightened in the pit of her belly.
“Do you like sucking my cock, Ms. Keats?”
“Yes, sir.”
He growled. “I’d like a scotch on the rocks.”
She rose from the floor. Her shoes elevated her, and the netting of the stockings sensitized her legs. The short skirt rustled, and cool air touched her sex as she carefully sauntered to the bar. Fishing out three cubes of ice, she poured the amber liquid and carefully carried the glass back to the desk. She handed it to him, but he didn’t take it.
“Straddle me.”
Glancing at the desk, she looked back at him askance.
“Put it on the coaster.” She did as instructed.
Balancing on one wobbly foot, she lifted her leg over his knees and lowered her body. He caught her hips and drew her close. His cock stood between them as he reached for her bodice and split the fabric wide with a quick tug. The satin material shredded to her bellybutton. She gasped and his hands cupped her breasts, fingers brushed over her nipples until they drew into sharp little points.
He growled and released her, reaching around for the glass and taking a sip. Her eyes watched the curve of his throat, his Adam’s apple slowly rising as he took a long swallow of scotch. He placed the glass back on the desk and leaned forward to capture her nipple in his mouth.
She hissed at the cool touch of his tongue and realized he’d stolen an ice cube from the glass. The brush of frozen water to her heated flesh sent chills up her spine and down her chest. She shivered and he chuckled as he moved to her other breast.
He played with her nipples until she felt like she might come. His fingers tugged and pulled at the nubs while his frosty mouth teased. She rocked over him, grinding against his cock, and he gripped her hips. “Are you stealing from me?”
She frowned. “What?”
“Were you just trying to steal an orgasm without my permission?”
“I’m sorry, sir.”
His hips lifted and he tucked his cock away. “Stand up.”
She trembled with anticipation. As she stood, the top of her uniform hung in tatters, leaving her breasts peeking out through the shreds of fabric.
“You are so beautiful, Evelyn. I don’t even think you realize how stunning you are, which only adds to your beauty.”
Her face heated. “Thank you. I think you’re beautiful too.”
He tugged her close and she lost her balance. The heat of his palm burned over her cheeks as he rubbed her ass. “You have an amazing ass.” The smack took her by surprise. She gasped as heat spread over her. He rubbed the tender flesh and smacked again. Her sex clenched and she moaned. The third swat landed between her spread legs, his fingers grazing her wet lips. Fingers dragged over her skin and suddenly filled her.
He fucked her with his digits, using fast thrusts. She came in a matter of seconds, feeling her cream coat his fingers and crying out. His mouth slammed into hers. The kiss was greedy. His tongue took her mouth. Teeth pulled at lips. They became possessed by dark need.
The chair rolled over and papers fell. And then she was being lifted and pressed into the glass window. Her legs wrapped around his hips. Her weight leaned into the glass. His pants were again undone and dropped to his thighs. He filled her in one hard thrust.
There were various levels of their sex. Sometimes it was slow like summer rain. Sometimes it was intense like a winter storm that built gradually and ended in something beautiful. And then there was good old chaotic fucking. That’s what he did to her. Like a tornado crashing into a hurricane, he swept in and changed everything.
His body beat at hers in smooth licks like a rushing brook over the bellies of rocks. Thunder built in his chest and they came in an eruption of cries. He broke her open, split her every nerve wide, and left her without a shred of cover: bare, exposed, sheltered in nothing more than him.
He breathed into her shoulder harshly, pinning her to the window. Her six-inch heels dangled at his back. Her lips pouted as she caught her breath.
“I’ve never had better service,” he rasped and she laughed, tugging at his hair.
***
With a final sigh of satisfaction, Lucian collapsed beside her in the bed. It was still early morning. She was truly enjoying waking up beside him each morning.
Evelyn breathed deeply through a smile. She’d never slept with anyone else, but she doubted anyone was as good as Lucian.
He sighed. “Tonight should be interesting.”
It was Jamie’s surprise party at Lucian’s sister’s. “Are you not looking forward to it?”
“Hmm, looking forward to it? Not necessarily, but I’m sure we’ll enjoy ourselves. I’ve made arrangements for you to get your hair and makeup done at the salon.”
That was good. She wasn’t very confident in her grooming abilities and would rather have a professional tell her what looked right. “Thank you.”
He leaned in and kissed the arch of her cheek. “I’ll be crossing paths with you at some point. I need a haircut.”
Her fingers ran through his dark hair flopped over his forehead. Strands of silver shined in the thick black mass, giving him a salt-and-pepper look at his temples. “Your hair is rather long at the moment.”
“I’m getting too old for longer hair. Makes me look like I’m clinging to my faded youth.”
She laughed and shoved him. “Shut up. You are not old.”
“Older than you.” His lips tickled the soft skin behind her ear and her toes curled.
“I like that you’re older.”
“You do?”
“Yes. I don’t see you as old, though. You’re . . . distinguished. I see your age as credibility. You deal with many people in business who are older than you. I think if you were my age you wouldn’t be taken as seriously. People my age don’t have the success you’ve accumulated.”
“Ah, but I was worth millions in my early twenties.”
“It’s not the same. That was your family’s legacy. This,” she waved her hand outward, “the hotel and everything you’ve created, that was fueled by what’s in here.” Her hand rested over his bare chest. “Not what was given to you.”
His lips curled in a soft smile, and his thick lashes lowered slightly. His voice became husky. “What you just said, the way you put that, it makes me feel good. It’s nice to hear someone give credit to the man behind the name for a change.”
She curled into him and nestled her nose against the stubble covering his throat. “You deserve it. You work very hard.”
“I’ll accept some of the credit, but not all. My family has contributed generations of visionaries to my success. Their success gave me the means to make my own.”
Her fingers brushed over his hair and tucked it behind his ear. “Just don’t forget to give credit to yourself from time to time.”
“Do you see how it works?” he whispered, dragging his fingers over her hip. “They gave me the means and I had the ambition to do great things with those means. You’re ambitious too, Evelyn. I like giving you the means to become something great. I believe you will someday be my wisest investment.”
Her breath caught. He hadn’t said it, but for the first time her mind slipped away from her, as though his thoughts snuck into her head and hijacked her own. She saw a startling vision of herself standing on the lush green grass at the estate, just in front of his mother’s lilacs. Riots of purple danced behind her in the perfumed breeze as she called for Lucian.
But Lucian wasn’t who came to her in that vision. No, it was a small boy with startling dark hair and crystal blue eyes, much like her own. The little boy ran to her and threw his arms around her waist, pressing his face to her abdomen, which was heavy and swollen under her clothes.
“Evelyn? You all right?”
“What?” The image vanished.
“Your cheeks got all flushed and you smiled in a way I never saw before.”
“I . . . I was just thinking.”
He smirked and pressed his lips to hers. Keeping them there, he whispered, “I like seeing you smile. You do it much more than you used to.”
They wound up rolling around in bed, sharing soft whispers and gentle, teasing caresses that eventually led to more, until it was time for her to rush out the door to see Jason. She hadn’t had time to shower, and through her entire lesson she found the scent of Lucian clinging to her skin incredibly distracting.
When she returned to the penthouse, Lucian was gone. She took a long shower, and as she was drying off there was a text from him on her phone.
Salon at 1:00. See you there. Love you.
She smiled once she carefully read the text. She sounded out the word bossy until auto correct got it.
Yes, bossy pants. Love you too.
When she arrived at the salon, she was immediately greeted with smiles and ushered to the back. The staff was wonderful. They always made her feel like royalty, which was so far beyond her wildest fantasies, she wondered if such treatment would ever stop feeling surreal.
Her hair was twirled into hundreds of tightly coiled curls and plastered around her face, which had been made up in a way that transformed her. The makeup artist had somehow made her lips into sharp peaks of red and her eyes seemed wider, accented with long lashes beneath narrow, groomed brows. She looked nothing like she normally did when done up, but didn’t question their expertise.
Lucian appeared in the reflection of the gilded mirror. Her belly pinched with excitement at the sight of him. His hair was damp and parted to perfection, long locks gone. She smiled. “Aren’t you handsome.”
The hairstylist greeted him and stepped aside as Lucian kissed her cheek. “You look stunning. Here.”
A small red velvet box, the size of a book, was placed in her lap. “What’s this?”
“For tonight. Open it.”
Her fingers flipped up the ornate bronze clasp, and the box opened with a creak. White netting and ivory-sequined detail filled the faded velvet. It had a scent of time, a little musty with the trace of oiled perfume. The scent reminded her of an empty church. The fabric pulled like a delicate web as she lifted it with her fingers. “What is it?”
“It’s for tonight.”
The hairstylist, Fernando, admired the gift. “Very nice. Authentic?”
“Yes,” Lucian said. “From an antiques dealer outside of the city.”
“May I?” Fernando asked.
Evelyn still wasn’t sure what it was. It looked like a decorated sack of sorts. She handed it to the hairdresser, who examined it admiringly and then placed it on her head. It was a hat or a band. The peculiar way he had done her hair suddenly came together. The reflection blinking back at her was a photograph from back in time.
Lucian smiled. “It’s a speakeasy party.”
“Speakeasy?” She knew that word. “Like from the days of Prohibition?”
“Yes. Everyone will be dressed in costumes from the 1920s era.”
“A costume party?” How fun! She’d never been to anything like that.
“Yes. I have your dress upstairs. I’ll wait while Fernando finishes up.”
Lucian disappeared into the front of the salon, and Fernando pinned the delicate cap over her hair. She looked like she’d fallen back in time. It was amazing how he’d transformed her with a few curls and some fancy makeup.
Lucian escorted her back to the penthouse. When they entered the master bedroom, a gorgeous ivory gown was hanging from the sconce. She gasped. It was . . . majestic.
“Do you like it?”
“I love it. It’s so luxurious.” The soft material was like layered wisps of clouds running through her fingers, weighted with tiny beads. Detailed bits of lace showed here and there, and the vintage accents told of tired fingers and handmade thoughtfulness. She decided she liked this era.
“It was worn by a famous singer in the twenties. There are photographs of her performing on stage during that time.”
“Oh, Lucian . . .”
“Let me help you put it on.”
The material was so light, but layered in such a way the dress was weighted. She slipped out of her clothing, careful not to muss her hair, and he helped her with the dress. It slid over her bare skin like a silken sheath.
“Do I need a bra?”
“No. Nothing underneath.”
The gathered fabric hung heavily over her shoulders. Cool beads weighed on her skin. He buttoned up the back and turned her to the full-length mirror, his knuckles dragging seductively from her shoulder to her elbow.
It was spectacular. Sheer layers of ivory draped over her unfettered breasts, resembling the attire of a Greek goddess. The scoop over her chest was wide. Modesty was protected with an intricate shield of lace, beaded in swirls of roses and white peacock feathers.
Beneath the swoop of the neckline, the dress fit to her hips, mimicking the same intricate lace covering the span of her breasts. Midthigh, a seam traced to her legs, and billowy layers of the softest sheer silk gathered and poured to the ground like the clouded mist of a waterfall.
“You put the original wearer’s beauty to shame,” he said.
This was, perhaps, the first time she ever—truly—agreed with him in terms of her beauty. She looked . . . picturesque. A shock of vanity had her blushing. She cleared her throat. “What are you wearing?”
“A tux. Here, I have shoes and gloves for you.”
He bent to his knees and slid a pair of ivory closed toed shoes onto her feet. He carefully tightened the buckle and stood. “I’ll be dressed in a few minutes, and then we can be on our way.”
He disappeared into the closet, and she allowed herself a few vain moments to admire her reflection. Lucian emerged and she turned, drawing in a long breath. He had taken all of two minutes to trump her beauty.
Broad shoulders were encased in black. The cut of his jacket was different than his usual tuxedo. This one had tails. A starched white collar peeked over his white bow tie and a pristine, snowy vest with diamond-encrusted buttons covered his chest. “Shall we?”
“You look fantastic.”
Paying the compliment no mind, he filled his pockets with the usual items and mumbled a quick thank-you. As they walked through the lobby, guests stopped to stare. It was quite an experience. Rather than fidget and worry what onlookers were thinking, she held her chin up with newfound confidence she couldn’t recall discovering.
As they stepped onto the red runner with gold tassels, she looked for Dugan. He wasn’t there, nor was the limo. A Patras attendant beamed and opened the door to a sleek Mercedes that had to be close to a hundred years old.
“You rented an old car?”
“No. I own it.”
It was the color of the darkest chocolate. Long fenders bent like shapely legs. In her mind the car was definitely female. The wheels had polished white walls. Rounded headlights protruded from the chrome grille. It was all body with only a little cockpit left for passengers. If there was a roof, it was hidden. Caramel leather seats beckoned behind the slight metal-framed windshield.
“This may be the prettiest car I’ve ever seen.”
He squeezed her hand through her satin glove. “Get your license and it’s yours.”
She gaped at him. The doorman opened the passenger door—from the front, rather than the back the way car doors usually opened. She slid in and her dress shushed against the soft seat. He tucked her gown into the car and gently shut the door. Lucian slid in beside her. The car was already purring.
“Ready?”
She smiled and nodded and they were soon on their way. The summer heat cooled as it filtered around the windshield to tickle her hair and tease her shoulders. Driving a car without a top was loud in a hypnotic way. Lucian handled the car like he did everything else, with expertise and refined control.
She grinned as pedestrians stopped to admire them. A few people took pictures with their phones as they waited at traffic lights and for the first time in a long time, Evelyn thought about the paparazzi.
Lucian had been very careful to keep the papers out of sight. Trepidation curbed her curiosity as far as their cutting words went, so she didn’t mind his keeping the news clippings out of her sight. She knew the horrid things they were saying linked back to real shame, and she’d rather not witness how badly her personal business was being exploited when there wasn’t really a solution to stop their attacks. Lucian said he’d handle it, and she trusted him to do just that but knew the media hype wouldn’t vanish overnight.
They were still making headlines, and the media was making all sorts of assumptions about her and her past. Lucian had given a statement to his PR team, admitting only that he was in love and the media would have to wait for further details. He’d told her it was up to her, if she wanted to offer explanations for her presence in his life, but he remained very protective, constantly reminding her that no explanation was required.
Beyond the distraction of their own personal relationship seemed to be rumors regarding Lucian’s business relationship with the green company he’d been trying to work with. She didn’t know much about his professional doings, but she hoped both issues were resolved sooner rather than later. It surprised her that someone would have the guts to face off with Patras Industries. However, the opposition wasn’t all that brave if they continued to keep their identity secret. The moment Lucian discovered who was leaking information about his deal, Evelyn had no doubt all opposition would crumble.
When they arrived at Toni’s building, her excitement took a tumultuous turn, swirling in her belly at the unexpected. A valet complimented Lucian on his car and took the keys as a doorman greeted them. They took the elevator to the top floor, and soft music could be heard from behind Toni’s door. Lucian knocked, and she was surprised to see Dugan answer.
“Mr. Patras. Ms. Keats.”
“Dugan.”
He didn’t let them in. He was also dressed in a tux. A white scarf was draped over his shoulders, and she spotted the hints of a holster beneath the breast of his coat. “The password . . .” he said, holding the door in place.
Lucian said, “Lá breithe shona duit.”
Dugan nodded as he opened the door, and Evelyn’s jaw unhinged. She’d never been inside Toni’s condo, but she was sure this was not the way it usually looked.
The walls were draped in heavy damask fabrics and drawn back with thick cords of gold. Crystal chandeliers hung from the high ceilings, and a jazz quartet played in the corner. Boxes of booze and hay were stacked with well-planned detail to look haphazardly smuggled. A sleek bar filled the corner of the grand living room. The bartender was dressed in vintage attire, his dress shirt complete with vintage bands around his shirtsleeves.
Palms of ostrich feathers topped the well-dressed tables. Polished silver accented each place. There were crowded counters set with dealers and games. Lucian squeezed her hand. She’d been standing there staring.
“Toni does love to entertain,” he mumbled. She turned to him and simply shook her head, speechless. “Shall we find my sister and say hello?”
“What did you say to Dugan to get in?”
“It’s a speakeasy. I had to give the password of course. I said, Lá breithe shona duit. It’s Gaelic for ‘Happy Birthday.’”
“Because Jamie’s Irish?”
“Yes.”
As they made their way into the room, Evelyn was in awe. The place was like a portal back in time. Every guest had taken time to dress the part. Not a single detail was overlooked.
As Lucian said hello to acquaintances and made introductions, she took the time to envy Toni’s ability to do something so grand for Jamie. Evelyn hoped to someday do something along these lines for Lucian. She’d ask Toni for help of course, because she could never be this creative.
When they found Lucian’s sister, she squealed. “You guys look incredible!” Toni’s gold dress was so beaded, every move she made jostled the long strands. She looked lovely. Her dark hair was down in smooth waves. A feathered gold band wrapped around her forehead and her lips were as red as Evelyn’s.
She pulled her in for an affectionate hug. “What do you think? Do you think Shamus will like it?”
“As always, you’ve outdone yourself, Antoinette. I’m sure he’ll be surprised.”
She beamed and bounced giddily, her short dress dancing about her curves. “Come on, Ev, let’s get a drink.”
Lucian’s hand tightened over her gloved fingers. She glanced back at him. Drawing her close, he pressed a kiss to her cheek and whispered, “I have plans for tonight. Three drinks and that’s it. Pace yourself.”
Evelyn narrowed her eyes, but didn’t argue. He was in charge and she was a lightweight. Besides, she’d much rather see what he had in store for her than get plastered. Last time she had too much to drink she’d made a fool of herself.
As they went to the bar, Evelyn forgot she was in Toni’s home. Everything was so grandiose. The splendid guests laughed and the quartet played. Even the bartender seemed to be a bit in character. Toni tittered on about how anxious she was for Jamie to arrive. Soon a guest Evelyn didn’t know pulled Lucian’s sister away.
Servers began to butler hors d’oeuvres, and she scanned the now-full condo for Lucian. When she didn’t see him right away, she stepped closer to the wall, trying to blend with a feathery palm. There had to be over a hundred guests there.
She took note of every man connected to a tuxedo, looking for his handsome face. When she spotted dark hair, she smiled then stilled as the man turned slowly from the woman he was speaking with. It wasn’t Lucian, but he also was no stranger.
Slade.
Her smile faltered as those piercing blue eyes connected with hers. He tipped his head ever so slightly in acknowledgement of her presence and she tightened her lips. Not only had that man never liked her, he’d betrayed Lucian. She was half tempted to march over to him and tell him just how unwanted his acknowledgement of her presence was. Screw him.
As always, he seemed to pay her no mind. He turned and she watched his head move as though he were looking for someone. She had a feeling they were searching for the same person.
“He’s on his way up! Everyone, quiet!” Toni yelled.
The guests and quartet hushed as everyone collectively turned to the door where Dugan waited. Just then, she spotted Lucian stepping in from a balcony door she hadn’t noticed. A man whispered in his ear and Lucian nodded, his eyes scanning the area. He was looking for her most likely. She turned back to Slade and saw that he had indeed been searching for Lucian. His gaze welded to Evelyn’s lover in a way that had her bristling protectively.
She abandoned her feathered shelter and found her way to Lucian’s side. He smiled and took her hand. “Alistair, this is Evelyn.”
“Please to meet you, Evelyn. I’ve heard lovely things about you.”
The man clasped her gloved fingers lightly and she replied in kind, though she’d never heard of him before.
There was a knock, and rather than ask for a password, Dugan opened the door wide. The room bellowed a heartfelt “Surprise!” and Jamie’s jade eyes went wide, his fair skin flaming a bright shade of red. Toni clapped and laughed, then threw her arms around him. He smiled tightly and gently pushed her away.
“Well,” he said, with a grin that seemed slightly forced. “This is certainly unexpected.”
The guests laughed and Toni wound her arm through his and escorted him through the crowd. The chatter continued to escalate at a gentle roar. Evelyn caught sight of Isadora and whispered to Lucian that she’d be right back.
She made her way through the crowd, and Isadora smiled when she saw her. Lucian’s sisters were so very different. While Toni was a bottle of energy and youth, Isadora was a tower of elegance.
She wore an emerald gown trimmed in gold. Her dark hair was slicked back into a simple bun that only a woman with such elegant bone structure could pull off. She didn’t have the accessories some of the other women opted to wear. Yet, in Evelyn’s mind she was the most stunning woman in the room. It struck her as odd that Isadora was always alone.
“Isadora,” she greeted.
Lucian’s sister smiled and kissed her cheek. “Evelyn, you look stunning. Are you enjoying yourself?”
“Yes. This is incredible.”
“Toni loves to put on a party. I think Shamus would like to strangle her, but he’ll get over it. She means well.”
They laughed and chatted about the guests and touched on her plans to visit Europe in the upcoming months. There was something mysterious about Lucian’s older sister, but not in a suspicious way. She radiated kindness and always seemed to put Evelyn at ease, whereas Lucian’s younger sister seemed to fill her with a sense of urgency.
The Patras siblings were like seasons. Lucian was beautiful, but could freeze someone with his icy stares and intense moods. He was the winter while Toni was summer, vibrant and bursting with light. She couldn’t decide if Isadora was spring or autumn. While she was nurturing and maternal, there seemed something innately sad about her. That unnamable sadness was what reminded Evelyn of fall.
Evelyn finished her drink and traded it for some hors d’oeuvres. Isadora had nothing but kind things to say about everyone she appraised. Toni was ushering Jamie through the melee. Her laughter could be heard from time to time over the quartet. Decided to find Lucian, Evelyn excused herself.
Strangers smiled at her, and many men chivalrously stepped aside for her to pass. Cool vents rippled the dressed walls and when she peeked out on the balcony, the sultry air seemed stifling. Guests partook in cigars and voices bloomed with liquor-scented rowdiness. Lucian was nowhere to be found.
She made her way back through the living room and searched the bar. He wasn’t there, but while she waited, the bartender made her another drink. It was some sort of signature drink made with crushed fruit and gin. She didn’t really care for it, but drank it anyway. She noticed a door she hadn’t seen before and decided to look there for Lucian.
Making her way back through the crowd, she paused at the entrance. The last thing she wanted to do was inadvertently go trespassing in Toni’s private space. She decided she’d use the excuse of looking for the restroom if anyone questioned her.
Her gloved fingers touched the knob and the door glided open with little effort. It hadn’t been closed tightly. She stilled when she heard a deep voice whispering.
“I will apologize again and again. I see now what you saw in her. I was wrong. All I can say is that my intentions were at one point honorable and somehow got twisted into something selfish along the way.”
She frowned and remained hidden behind the door. Her feet casually stepped closer to the heavy curtain suspended about a foot from the wall so not to appear as if she were eavesdropping, although she was.
“I’m not losing any sleep at night, Slade. I suggest you cut your losses and move on. What’s done is done. I’ll continue to tolerate your presence out of respect for my sisters and Shamus, but other than the lingering business ties we have, our association is over.”
Her ear cocked to attention at Lucian’s statement.
“Lucian, please. We were friends. I made a mistake.”
Lucian’s curt voice rang of exasperation. “I told you I loved her then and I love her now. You betrayed me and nearly cost me the only person who has ever made me feel this way. You don’t know what it is to fear losing someone you love with an intensity that eats up every hour of your day. What either of us felt for Monique doesn’t compare to what I feel for Evelyn. I can overlook what you’ve done, but I’ll never forgive it completely. Until you love someone the way I love her, I don’t expect you to understand that. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”
The sound of footsteps had her jumping back behind the curtain. Lucian passed in a blur of black and she heard Slade sigh and mumble something. Enough. Striding out from the shadows, she stepped through the narrowly cracked door and shut it quietly.
Slade’s head jerked up at the sound of company. She expected to see those stormy blue eyes and experience the jolt of shame his disdainful scowls usually provoked in her, but she didn’t. The whites surrounding those blue irises shimmered and appeared slightly pink in hue. He cleared his throat and quickly blinked and looked away.
“Evelyn. Lucian just left.” His voice was grave, but curt. She was clearly being dismissed.
“I know. I heard you talking.”
He turned back to her, all signs of being humane gone, replaced with the hard mask he usually looked down at her with. She waited for him to say something, but he didn’t. He just glared at her, intimidating her, but she didn’t let it show.
The room was some sort of den. A desk sat in the corner with a laptop closed on the surface. Club chairs perched around a modernized gas fireplace. This was Toni’s usual style, she assumed. Evelyn entered the space with a show of courage. Slade’s days of making her feel unwelcome were over.
“You know,” she said in a soft, but steady voice as she ran her hand over the back of a plush red chair. “While I appreciate you helping Parker, I hope someday he betrays you the same way you betrayed your partner. I hope you feel what it truly is to be the victim of someone else’s ill-intentioned motives.”
He sighed and looked to the ceiling as though he’d allow her this moment to say what she needed to say, as if it were her due.
She swallowed and refused to take her eyes off of him. “You decided not to like me from the first time you met me. It didn’t matter who I was or where I was from. You never gave me a chance and never denied it. Well, I have news for you. Your opinions are worth less than dog shit, not just to me, but now to Lucian as well. You meddled in our lives and cost yourself a valuable friendship. That’s your loss. But you also managed to cost me a friendship too, and I hope Lucian never forgives you, because I can be selfish too. I think you’re nothing more than dressed-up scum. And those people you pretend to help at the shelter, but turn your snide nose up at, they have more right to the graces of this world than you’ll ever deserve. I don’t know what you want from Lucian, but leave him alone. He doesn’t need friends better suited as enemies in his life.”
She turned and he said, “Scout.”
She stilled but wouldn’t face him. She’d said what she needed to say, and now adrenaline was causing sweat to gather under the silk of her gloves.
“You don’t understand,” he whispered. “I never meant to hurt you.”
The audacity. She pivoted, the motion charged with outrage. “You must think I’m stupid. You’re sole intention was to hurt me. You humiliated me, exposed me, and manipulated me, every chance you got—”
“Only because you had what I wanted.”
“What? His time? His ear? I never tried to take advantage of him or what he could offer, but you dove at the chance to make it seem that way, thinking I would trade him in for some other man with money if the benefits were in my favor. Unlike everyone else in this world, I’d take him with nothing at all. I love him. The rest is just fluff.”
He nodded, and she didn’t understand the tired expression on his face. “I’m glad you feel that way.” His tone and expression didn’t ring true with his words. “Too many people see the money and prestige before the man.”
“And you don’t?” she asked indignantly. Slade’s professional life was no doubt suffering since Lucian had cut him off.
“No,” he rasped. “I never did.” The quiet confession sounded raw on his lips, as if it had to travel from somewhere deep in his soul.
Her face slackened as her lips parted. Suddenly she saw something she doubted anyone else saw in this man, not even Lucian, not even Jamie. She’d met a myriad of people in her life, and where she was from, most hid their vulnerabilities as carefully as they hid food, money, or drugs. But she always had a gift for seeing what others missed. That’s why they called her Scout.
“Oh my God,” she breathed. It was all suddenly so clear. “This has nothing to do with your grief over Monique or your hatred for me. It’s him.”
He cleared his throat and looked away. He didn’t deny the accusation.
Her lips parted as her heart beat against her ribs like a caged bird. “You’re in love with him.”
Sharp blue eyes sliced into her, and she knew her statement to be true as a slight flush showed under his collar.
“She was just a convenient cover for you, and when you lost her you lost him.” Lucian never showed any signs of being interested in men. But Slade must have hoped.
“I cared for Monique very much,” he argued unconvincingly.
“But not as much as you cared for him.”
As he swallowed, his Adam’s apple made a slow journey up and down, traversing the long line of his throat. “He doesn’t know,” he rasped.
Yes, she believed he didn’t. Tilting her head, she quietly said, “You could have told him. He loved you like a brother. You could’ve told him and saved your friendship.”
He nodded sadly. “But I didn’t, and that will be my regret to live with for the rest of my life.”
How did two men entertain a relationship with one woman for years and not know one of them was bisexual? “Is it just Lucian or have there been other men?” She shook her head. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that. It’s none of my business.”
His shoulders lifted and he let out an audible breath. “None of it matters now.”
How had she gone from hating this man to suddenly pitying him in the span of a minute? Perhaps it was because she knew what it was to love Lucian Patras and not have him.
“You played a part in taking him from me,” she said fiercely. “I know what it is to love him and not have him. I actually can sympathize with you. Maybe that makes me an idiot. But I’m not some prattling little girl you and so many people think I am. So let me make this clear. I’m sorry you will never have the person you love, but he’s mine. I won’t share him and I won’t take kindly to anyone who tries to take him from me, ever again.”
He nodded. “For the record, if I thought you were just some ditsy piece I never would’ve felt threatened by you, Scout. You’re strong. You have scruples. And you tell it like it is. I saw it in you the first time I met you, and that’s why I panicked. You’re everything he needs, deserves, and wants.”
She didn’t like getting compliments from people she didn’t trust. They were usually backhanded and she tensed at the niceness, awaiting the sting. When it didn’t come, she simply said, “Thank you.”
The door opened and they both turned. Lucian stepped in and scowled. “What the hell is this?”
“Nothing. We were just talking,” Slade said, his voice again cold and emotionless. She couldn’t imagine living such an act.
Lucian came to her side and placed his arm protectively around her. He gazed at her as though appraising her emotions.
“Everything’s fine. I was looking for the restroom and got lost,” she covered.
He glared at Slade then whispered to her, “It’s the fourth door down the hall. I’ll meet you there in a few minutes.”
She nodded and left, but paused at the door. Slade didn’t get a chance to explain. Lucian’s voice was a low growl. “Stay the hell away from her.”
“Lucian—”
“I don’t give a fuck about your explanations. I don’t want you talking to her. End of story.” At the sound of his retreating steps, she lifted her gown and quickly found her way to the restroom.
The rest of the evening passed in a surreal succession of events. Lucian never left her side and there were no more signs of Slade. There was dancing, cake, and plenty of drinking, but she never had her third. Lucian was overly attentive and seemed curious about what she and Slade said to each other. She wasn’t sure if she should tell him.
Part of her felt sorry for the friendship lost, but the part of her that sometimes missed Parker and knew they would never be friends like they once were, resented Slade Bishop for playing a part in that and hoped he’d rot in misery.
Then there was a very insecure part of her she didn’t want to face. A part that worried if Lucian knew, he might leave her. Perhaps he harbored similar feelings. She dismissed that worry quickly, but insecurities lingered. The part of her that was never convinced she was good enough wasn’t entirely convinced.
At the end of the evening she was tired. The ride home was peaceful. Her head rested on the soft leather seat as the world buzzed by in a breezy wash of black sky. It wasn’t until they reached the highway that she realized they weren’t heading back to the hotel. “Where are we going?”
“The estate.”
She frowned at his clipped tone. Trying to make light conversation, she asked, “Did you give Jamie his gift?” They hadn’t opened presents, but there were stacks and stacks of beautifully wrapped packages sitting around by the time the party was over.
“I left the keys in a gift box with the other presents.”
“Didn’t you want to see him open it?”
“No. I know he’ll like it.”
She would liked to have seen the car. No matter how he explained it, she couldn’t imagine it. “Oh.”
He didn’t seem to be in the mood for conversation. She scooted closer and he gently rested his hand on her knee in between shifting gears. When they arrived at the estate, she was ready to pass out. Her hair smelled like summer wind and her cheeks were slightly chilled.
Lucian opened her door and escorted her to the front of the house. Lucy didn’t greet them, which was odd, but she assumed that was because it was nearly two in the morning.
Once inside, she slipped off her shoes. They dangled from her fingers as they made a silent stroll up the grand staircase. In the master bedroom, they quietly slid out of their clothes. Lucian helped her from her gown and she shivered as he hung it in the closet.
He emerged from the walk-in and tossed a satin bag on the bed. He was already in his silk sleeping pants. His expression was unreadable. She wished he’d say something.
When he spoke, his words did nothing to relieve the awkwardness that accompanied them since leaving the party. “On your belly.”
She blinked and eyed the satin bag.
“Do I need to repeat myself?”
There was a bite to his words and she frowned. “No,” she whispered and climbed on the bed.
The thick down comforter was cool beneath her weight. Her nipples tightened as she lowered herself. Her arms lifted to rest above her head in the plush pillows. The soft whisper of Lucian stripping away his pants came just before the bed dipped under his weight.
Gentle lips pressed into her spine and kissed a trail down to the backs of her thighs. Her body reacted, but her mind detached. Why wasn’t he speaking to her? The little satin satchel disappeared, and there was a snap followed by cool liquid being drizzled over her creases.
His finger massaged the oil over her back entrance and something inside of her panicked. Not because he intended to take her this way, but because he’d done little to acknowledge it was she he was taking. As he hoisted her hips off the bed and his thighs pressed into hers, her mind began to play tricks on her.
Was this because he saw Slade and this was what seeing him made Lucian crave? Was he being silent because he was imagining someone else? His fingers fondled her sex. Outwardly she breathed and reacted the way her body normally responded to his touch, but inwardly she tensed.
When his cock pressed at her tight entrance she gasped suddenly. “No!”
He stilled. “What’s wrong?” He sounded genuinely worried.
She quickly crawled away and faced him, only after she’d snatched a pillow to cover herself. She was on the verge of tears. “I don’t want to do that!”
His head tilted in confusion. “You usually enjoy that.”
Her head shook and she swallowed. “I don’t want to do that now.”
“Why?” He sounded frustrated.
“I just . . . don’t.”
“That’s not an answer. You’re supposed to be honest with me at all times, Evelyn.”
Because I’m afraid you’re thinking of him. “I don’t know why.”
“Yes, you do.”
“Can we just do something else?”
He frowned then his expression softened with concern. “Did I hurt you the last time?”
“No. I just . . .” The frown was back. “Please.”
He appraised her for a long moment. “You aren’t telling me something. You’ve been acting strange ever since I found you in the den with Slade. What did he say to you?”
“Nothing.”
“Too fast, Evelyn. Now I know you’re lying.”
“I told him to leave you alone and that he didn’t deserve your friendship.”
His lip twitched as his brows shot up. “You were defending me?”
“Well, yeah. Someone has to.”
He chuckled and looked down. His finger traced over her knee and slowly snagged the fringe of the pillow covering her. He pulled it away and tossed it to the floor. “I appreciate the sentiment, but would rather you leave that sort of thing to me. I don’t trust Slade and prefer you to keep your distance. Now, tell me what else is going on.”
She hunched into the pillows and looked away. His strong fingers clasped her chin and turned her so she was again facing him. He gave her a stern look.
Quietly, she admitted. “You weren’t talking to me. It felt distant. I didn’t like it.”
He exhaled and seemed to sag a little. “I’m sorry. I was irritated because I couldn’t find you and when I did, you were with the last person I wanted to see you talking to. I’ll let it go.”
She nodded and whispered, “Okay.”
He climbed over her and pressed his lips to hers. “I still want your ass.” She stiffened and he drew back. “What the hell is going on, Evelyn? The truth now.”
Her breasts lifted with each deep breath. “Why do you want to have sex with me that way?”
Half his face tightened. “Why the hell not? Because I like it and so do you. Why are you questioning me when you should be submitting to me?”
“I’m not a puppet.”
He threw up his hands. “Goddamn it, Evelyn. Don’t pull this shit. You know that isn’t what I want.”
This is why she knew she couldn’t be submissive all the time, because there would be days like this where submitting to him would feel demeaning, and her insecurities would run rampant in her brain and make her second-guess everything she knew about him. “Not tonight.”
His eyes narrowed. “Are you calling checkmate?”
“If I have to.”
Lips thin, he finally said, “Fine.” He stood and pulled on his pants.
“Where are you going?”
“When you’re ready to be honest with me about what’s going on, I’ll be down in the library.”
“Lucian, don’t leave. I don’t want to fight.”
“I asked for your honesty and surrender, Evelyn. That includes your secrets. I don’t keep secrets from you. I don’t appreciate you being secretive with me.”
He turned and as he was about to walk out the door and leave her there, she blurted, “He’s in love with you.”
He stilled and slowly turned. “Excuse me?”
Her throat was dry as she swallowed. “Slade. He’s in love with you.”
“I think you misunderstood—”
She shook her head quickly. “No. He admitted it the moment I said it. He’s in love with you. It was never Monique. His grief was partly for her, but mostly because she was the only link to being intimate with you.”
His face contorted. “Slade and I were never intimate. We shared her. It wasn’t like that.”
“I know, but he hoped that would change.”
“That’s insane. I’ve known Slade almost my entire life. He’s been with countless women—”
“If you don’t believe me, Lucian, ask him. But you asked for the truth and that’s what I’m giving you.”
His expression fell as his eyes drifted as though he was seeing events of the past. “I’m not gay.” The words were whispered as if he were clarifying things for himself, excusing the entire confession based on his own preferences. Relief filled her at the uttered assurance, but she knew that all along, didn’t she?
“I know.”
He looked at her, eyes sad. “And he’s never said anything . . .”
She swallowed again. “If he did . . . would it have changed anything?”
Shaking his head emphatically, he looked utterly shocked. “No, but it would’ve explained a lot.”
“I don’t think he ever really wished to hurt you, Lucian.”
His face hardened as his dark gaze locked with hers. “The road to hell is paved with good intentions, Evelyn. I could give two shits about what he did to me. The moment he hurt you, our friendship was over.”
She didn’t know what to say to that. “Does knowing his feelings change anything for you?”
“Hell no. He’s a grown man who needs to deal with his shit on his own time. I—” He was suddenly silent. “Is this why you said no?”
She met his gaze. He was furious. “I didn’t know if you knew and were maybe . . .” She shrugged, and he turned and cursed.
“Evelyn,” he sighed and came to sit on the bed. “First of all, when I make love to you it’s always you I see. Second, I never have, nor ever will I, want a man. I’m simply not that way. Since I met you it’s only been you. I will never make love to you and think of anyone else, man or woman. And third, the reason I enjoy fucking you that way is because I enjoy the psychological release it gives us. You seemed tense. I wanted to get you out of your head.”
“But, Lucian . . . this was different.” She shook her head trying to pin down what was actually bothering her. “The intimacy wasn’t there.”
His face softened. “I’m sorry, love. I didn’t mean to come off cold. I was intent on getting you to relax. The last thing I wanted was for you to feel anxious.”
His dominance didn’t usually bother her like it had tonight. Perhaps he was stressed, but no matter what he was going through, if he wanted the responsibility of her submission, something she wasn’t altogether sure she was prepared to surrender, he needed to communicate with her.
She liked losing herself to him in moments of passion. She didn’t know if she’d ever allow herself to completely let go, however. He swore she was submissive, but she was too mesmerized with the idea of her independence. This trial period she was humoring him with wouldn’t make it another day if he didn’t explain himself along the way, especially when she was feeling vulnerable.
“You can’t expect me to surrender if you don’t explain your intentions.”
His eyes flashed to hers. “I suppose I could be a bit more clear. You usually love when I touch you like that.”
“There are always exceptions, Lucian. Some days I like soft, some days I like hard, but every day I like to feel I’m entitled to know what’s going on between us.”
“Understood,” he said, running his hand over her foot. “Do you understand why anal sex has a different effect on you, Evelyn?”
She frowned. “I don’t know what you mean.”
He took her hand. “Deny it all you want, but you are submissive at heart. You get bogged down with the outside worries of your world and need to let go, but don’t know how. When I take you—truly take you—you surrender those burdens. Anal sex just happens to be a very cut-and-dried way for a man to dominate a woman. If you pay attention to the times you crave it, it’s usually when you’re highly stressed.”
He was right. “Oh.” She stared as his fingers wrapped around her ankle. They tightened until his touch was all she could feel. “Perhaps I’m just feeling a bit . . . delicate . . . emotionally. I don’t like feeling the weight of other issues between us.”
His head tilted as he studied her for a long minute. His fingers traced down her neck. “I don’t like that feeling either. I think we were both feeling the presence of other issues tonight and we should have talked it through before we went to bed. I’m sorry I didn’t handle the situation more delicately. I’ll try to be more aware. I know you’re giving a lot of yourself, and I need to look deeper than I do sometimes.”
Her heart raced. There was something so sexy about an understanding Lucian. If he could truly be that intuitive it made the temptation of surrender so much greater. This trial period was good. They were both learning from the experience.
He pulled her close and continued to stroke her bare skin. “You see, it doesn’t have to be that way, but I know you take pleasure from it as do I. It’s the adrenaline rush we get from the act, me exerting my strength over you, and you being placed in a vulnerable position where your only choice is surrender, but the point is, you choose it. That choice is never taken from you, Evelyn.”
Perhaps she just needed to hear that.
Easing up, he gripped her other ankle and tugged her down the bed so she was lying flat on her back as he towered over her, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Push me away,” he whispered.
She moved to press her palm against his chest, but he caught it before she made contact. Her arm was forced into the pillows and he kissed her. She gasped and her heart pounded, the mood shifting that quickly.
“Do you feel how badly I want you, Evelyn?” He dragged the weight of his cock pressing through his pants against her sex.
She sucked in a breath and he said, “Push me away again.”
She used her other hand. This time, when she made contact with his shoulder, his hand clamped down on her sex, cupping her tightly. She gasped and her fingers curled around his bicep.
He chuckled, his eyes gone smoky. “You see? You’re supposed to be telling me no, but your body’s crying yes. Go ahead. Exert yourself. Deny me. I’ll make you beg for my cock and I’ll take all the blame so you don’t have to think. Push me away.”
He was right. Her blood tingled and she felt herself shrinking away to some hidden place inside her filled with lightness that only he could lead her to. He released her wrist and balanced his weight on his thickly muscled arms, causing the mattress to dip around her. She shoved at his chest, and he ground his erection into her sex almost punishingly.
When he leaned in to kiss her, she turned away. He bit at her neck and growled, sucking and pulling at her tender flesh. She moaned despite her physical protests. It was indeed a psychological game he was playing. King of the mountain. He tried for her mouth again and she slithered out of his reach.
Sitting back, he grabbed her calves so she couldn’t turn to her belly, and wrenched her legs wide. “Your pussy’s wet. I can see it glistening from here. Do you want to be fucked, Evelyn?”
“No,” she rasped, her breath coming fast as she told the lie, hiding her smile.
Leaning forward, he pinched her nipple hard and she cried out. “Little liar,” he laughed.
She pressed her foot into his stomach, not hard, but enough to force space between them. His strong fingers caught her ankle again and tugged roughly. She gasped and watched him as he slowly sucked a long finger into his mouth and proceeded to slide it into her pussy.
Her body contracted around the digit, but he made no further move to pleasure her. “You’re happy simply feeling me in you, knowing I hold the control to make you come. Admit it.”
“No.”
He tipped his head back and groaned. “Oh, that word. You know what it does to me.” He twisted his wrist and pressed his finger into her G-spot, causing her to arch off the bed. His other palm flattened over her stomach and anchored her back down. He tickled her deep in her sex, and she whimpered with denied need.
“Ask me. Ask me to fuck you.”
“No.” Her lips twitched. She wanted to smile, but wasn’t sure why. They were playing. This was playing.
He removed his fingers in one quick withdrawal that made her gasp. Her wrists were caught and pinned as heat engulfed her breast and there was a tug of teeth. Her knees locked on his hips. If he pressed his cock against her sex, she’d break.
Lips released her tight nipple, damp from his sucking and took the other. It was a painful yet pleasurable pull that connected directly to her womb. Her thighs softened and her hips unlocked, allowing him to fall into the cradle of her hips. His restraining hold on her arms was transferred to her hands, but her fingers intertwined with his in mutual consent.
His body blanketed her, riding over her in powerful waves. Every touch of flesh, every drag of his tongue brought her plea closer to her lips. He was making her crazy. She arched into him and he continued to tease and torment her, stimulating her further, but never really fulfilling her with what she wanted most.
Words whispered over her damp skin. “Tell me . . . ask for it . . . beg me . . .”
When he tried to kiss her, again she turned away. This time he caught her hair and took what he wanted. She bit at his mouth, giving him the fiercest kiss she’d ever given, and he took everything she had to offer. His fist tightened in her hair. “Ask me nicely.”
“No,” she panted, forcing her smirk back.
He made a sound of disapproval. His hand pulled out of hers and reached between their bodies. He slapped her clit and she made a sound between a hiccup and a gasp. Heavy, dark eyes stared into hers. “You’re only denying yourself, Evelyn. All the power, all the pleasure, rests in your surrender.”
He slapped her there again and she moaned. Strange, once the shock of the action faded, familiar pleasure bloomed. A few more slaps and she would—slap—yes, she could definitely come this way.
She pressed her wet sex into his palm, a silent plea. The satisfied smile pulling at his lips told that he knew she was weakening.
“You won’t ask because you love it when I make the choice. Admit it.”
She wasn’t admitting to anything!
“Stubborn,” he whispered as he leaned back on his heels, taking his touch with him. His hands tugged at the waist of his silk pants, and his cock sprang out. “You’re going to suck my cock now. And only when I’m about to come will I fuck you.”
Had she even moved? Her body reacted so quickly. She was on her hands and knees, taking him deep into her mouth.
His fingers caught in her hair and he thrust to the back of her throat, forcing her to take quite a bit of him. She was lost in a white haze of passion, determined to bring him more pleasure than any other woman—or man—ever could.
“You see, Evelyn,” she vaguely heard him whisper over her head as she worked his flesh. “I set the conditions, and you fight me almost every time because you’re so used to fighting for every scrap of pleasure you have in this world. You have more self-discipline than any woman I know, and when I take you to that place of surrender and you give over, you do so beautifully. Never mistake yielding for weakness. Your resilience, your choice in the matter, is what makes your surrender so priceless. I may strip away your boundaries, but true courage comes when you bare all in the face of our love.”
She stilled and released him. Slowly, she sat up, his words playing again and again in her mind. All else faded away until the need to surrender was all that remained. She had the choice. She finally understood.
She met his gaze and whispered, “Please, Lucian, take me.”
He toppled her to the bed and they kissed madly, laughing and moaning as he filled her. His physical potency blanketed her as the emotional sense of strength he stimulated inside of her exploded. He erased every questioning doubt she’d entertained over the past two hours as his desire for her and her alone stifled every insecurity and satisfied every need she had.
His mouth dragged over her flesh as he praised her for being exactly who she was and vowed to always be what she needed. “I love you, Evelyn. Only you. Forever.”
“I love you too.”
It was in that moment, as he took her without apology, that she embraced a certain kind of oneness he often provoked in her and she realized, while not everyone worked under this sort of sexual dynamic, they did.
He made sense of her and she did the same for him. They were two parts of the same twisted whole. She knew in that moment he was her future, and she recalled the vision she’d had of a young boy running to her, resembling both her and Lucian. She was going to marry him someday, and perhaps he loved her just enough to wait until she was ready to face those fears of letting go as well.