Chapter 8
Take Two Doses of Reality and Call Me in the Morning . . .
Scout’s mind eased into consciousness and she winced, her entire body protesting as she stretched. Her hands swept away a mass of knotted hair and she gripped her head. Who the hell was hammering an ice pick in her temples? She moaned.
As her leg extended, something didn’t feel right. Her bed was way too soft and . . . big? She shot bolt upright and winced, moaning again and the movement sent pain knifing up her spinal cord into her brain. Her hands swatted at the rat’s nest that was her hair, and she opened her eyes. “Ohmygod.”
Her head snapped around as she recognized Lucian’s room, but she didn’t see Lucian. Glancing down, she noticed she was stark naked. “Son of a bitch!”
She quickly crawled off the high bed made up like something from Arabian nights, and scrambled to the edge. Her feet tangled in the ridiculous amount of heavy down blankets, and she reached too soon for the table to catch her balance, missing completely and falling in a loud clatter to the floor. Her bones radiated with pain and something was squeezing the life out of her head.
Rolling to her knees, she hissed, reminded of her scraped knee. Her arms batted at the offensive blankets and cursed. She was a hot, tangled, mess.
“Evelyn?”
She stilled. Using her arm to lift the curtain of hair off her face, she slowly pushed into a seated position and peeked over the tall bed. Lucian stood by the door, and when he spotted her he cursed and charged in, likely to help her.
She threw out her hand. “Don’t come any closer.” He jerked to a stop. “I’m naked.”
He laughed. “I know. I undressed you.”
“What?”
“Evelyn . . . be reasonable.” He stepped into the room and she quickly gathered the myriad of blankets around her, covering her woman parts. “Love, you were tanked last night. You barely moved once we got to the hotel. You were helpless.”
“So you decided to take off my clothes?” she asked, outraged.
“I’ve seen it before.”
“Well, I didn’t invite you to see it again.”
He sat on the edge of the bed and smiled down at her. His perfectly put-together appearance made her feel insufficient. “I have a peace offering.”
She narrowed her eyes. “What is it?”
Reaching into his pocket he produced two small white pills. “Something for your head.”
He handed her the tablets and retrieved a glass of water from the nightstand. She swallowed them down and guzzled the refreshing water until there was nothing left. Handing him back the glass, she eyed him suspiciously. “Did we . . .”
He chuckled. “No. You were comatose.”
“What if I wasn’t?”
“As tempting as that is, the answer would still be no. You were drunk and I gave you my word.”
“Oh.” She sat back on her heels and considered how this made her feel. He hadn’t touched her. Good. Right?
“You’re sober now, however,” he said teasingly.
She shoved off his legs and stood. “Forget it. Where’s my dress.”
“On the chair. I ordered breakfast.”
She hobbled to the chair and found her dress. Frowning at the minimal swatch of black fabric, she hesitated. Her eyes glanced at the puffy down comforter wrapped around her. She looked like a Sumo wrestler in a toga. Turning back to him, she asked, “Do you mind?”
He sighed and shook his head, but didn’t leave. Rather, he walked into the closet and she heard the opening and shutting of drawers. He returned a moment later with a pair of her jeans, a T-shirt, panties, and a bra. He handed them to her.
“These are mine.”
“Who else’s would they be?”
She blinked at the clothing. “But . . . I haven’t lived here for over two months.”
He drew in a slow breath and released it. “Evelyn, I did a lot of things wrong. I’ve apologized and will continue to apologize, but I need you to believe that I never anticipated you’d be gone for good. I still don’t accept that as reality. You belong here. I’ll wait as long as I have to.”
“But you’re dating.”
He frowned and drew back his head. “No, I’m not. I attended a few events that required I bring a guest. That’s all that was.”
She scoffed. “That’s not what the she-bitch on your arm last night said.”
“What did she say?”
Scout thought for a moment. Her memories were sketchy at best. “Well, she cornered me in the bathroom and told me I looked like a hooker.”
His brows shot up. “She what?”
“Yeah. Nice company you keep.”
His eyes narrowed. “I’m sorry she spoke to you that way. You looked beautiful last night. You always do.”
“Then she called me trash.”
He rolled his eyes. “I was there when she said that and you saw my reaction. She has no room to talk. She’ll blow anything with a zipper, and her behavior last night was the farthest thing from classy.”
“I don’t like her.”
“Yeah, well, neither do I.”
She smiled. “Really?”
“Really. There’s no way I’ll put up with someone talking to you like that or making you feel like you aren’t good enough.”
His words made her feel vindicated. A smile split her face, then faltered. “Shit.”
“What?”
“She said something last night, but I can’t remember what. Lucian, she knows about Pearl.”
“How?”
“I don’t know, but she also knows I go by Scout.”
He shook his head. “She won’t tell anyone.”
“Wanna bet? She basically threatened to do exactly that.”
“She threatened you?”
Scout flinched at the lash of his voice. “Yes.”
“Motherfucker,” he hissed. He turned away and paced. “Fucking people! I swear everyone is out for blood. Evelyn, I promise you’ll never have to deal with that woman again. Son of a bitch.” Clearly preoccupied with his own take on the previous evening, he ran his hand through his hair and walked out of the bedroom mumbling. He came back in and said, “Take a shower and get dressed. We’ll talk more about this after I make a phone call.”
He left her there, wrapped up like Stay-puft, holding her clothes. “Jeez, bossy much?”
After showering and dressing, Scout felt a world better. Her head still throbbed with a dull ache, but the painkillers were kicking in and the shower helped clear her mind.
It was strange being back in the penthouse. She knew where everything was and there were remnants of her there. Lucian still had her toothbrush sitting right next to his. Maybe he was being honest when he said he always expected her to come home.
Padding into the common area, Scout found him sitting on the couch watching some boring broker thing on CNN. He smiled and held his arm out to her. She went to him and froze. What was she doing?
He frowned. “Come sit with me.”
Her fingers rubbed slowly over her thumbs. It was weird being there and not being there as his lover. She could so easily fall back into the old swing of things. “I better not.”
“Evelyn—”
“Lucian, I can’t. Please understand that. I just . . . can’t.”
He shut off the television and stood. At the table in the corner he plucked the metal lid off the plate and tossed it aside carelessly, letting it clatter against the other dishes on the table. “Eat your breakfast.”
He was angry. Well, what did he expect? Last night she hadn’t been thinking clearly. It didn’t change anything.
She walked to the table and took a seat. He sat across from her, but didn’t touch his food. The French toast at Patras was her favorite. Raphael, the chef, made homemade cream like nothing she’d ever tasted. Then there were the strawberries, floating in their own juicy sugar . . .
“I want to know what made you go there last night. You said you wanted to see Nicole. Why?”
She chewed slowly and put down her fork. “Are we really going to talk about this?”
“Why the hell wouldn’t we? You tell me to move on. I can’t, but I do my best to look like I am and you suddenly show up with some date and crash a party you’d never normally attend.”
“Who says? I could be a huge Rose Bowl fan.”
He raised an eyebrow. “What’s a Rose Bowl, Evelyn?”
She grimaced. “A tournament in gardening?”
“No. It’s a football game played at the beginning of the year. This year’s players were honored last night for Folsom U.”
“Oh. Well, I felt like being philanthropic.”
“Can we please stop playing games and try for some honesty?”
She pursed her lips. She didn’t want to do honesty. Honesty meant being honest with herself, and she was doing much better lying to herself lately. Her head still ached and she was tired despite just waking up, tired of everything.
“Talk to me, Evelyn.”
Several long moments of silence passed and she finally whispered. “I never had anything, but I thought I had you, and losing you was just too much to bear.”
The confession should have made him grateful. It was headway, but his expression crumbled. “I’m sorry,” he said in a hoarse voice.
Time passed where neither of them seemed to know what to say next. Finally, Lucian asked. “If we could go back, would you?”
Impossible. “You can’t take away the past.”
“But I can give you all of my future. I wanted to, but you said no.”
She recalled the night he proposed, how desperate he seemed. It all made sense now. She’d started the process of moving on. She had a plan. Lucian was a liability to her sanity. She never had someone get so deep inside of her that she couldn’t think. He did. He touched places she never knew existed.
She stood. “The answer’s still no.”
His jaw locked. He’d shown restraint in the past few days that had boggled her mind. Lucian had never in his life been told no or that he couldn’t have something, yet she’d told him nothing but no over the past two weeks.
“Friends. Can we be friends?”
She sighed. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea either.”
Lucian looked up at her, his hands folded over his lap, white-knuckled as if he were forcing himself not to reach for her. “How much longer do you expect me to go on like this, Evelyn? I’m not used to this sort of opposition.”
Her anger surfaced. “I told you to move on.”
He shot to his feet. “And I heard you, but I refuse to believe that’s what you want. Not when you spent over a thousand dollars to run into me at a benefit you know nothing about.”
“Last night was a mistake.”
“No. It wasn’t.”
She stepped back. “Lucian, I . . . You’re asking too much.”
He crowded her and she eased back, but didn’t take a step. His hand hovered at her jaw, yet he never laid a finger on her. “What will it take?” he whispered. “What do I have to do in order to touch you again? To have you back in my life and believe you’re mine? I hate this void between us.”
“You broke my trust,” she choked. “I don’t know if there’s any coming back from that.”
“It was a mistake. I realized it in a matter of hours. I broke my word and came for you, but I was already too late.”
Her jaw locked. Everything she wanted was right in front of her for the taking, but there were valid reasons to deny herself. Yet, she couldn’t help wondering if this torture of abstaining from him was some twisted form of self-inflicted penance.
Her eyes closed and she breathed. He was so close, but not touching her at all. In barely a whisper, she confessed, “He touched me, Lucian. I wanted to erase your mark and I let him kiss and hold me. I didn’t know he saw me as a possession. He was my friend and I blame you for letting me go under such a misconception.”
“I told you he was trouble. I told you he loved you.”
“And I thought you were jealous.”
“I am jealous! Think of how you felt when you thought Nicole and I were an item. How do you think your situation with Hughes made me feel? She’s nothing to me, but he . . . he has pieces of you I never will. I know you, Evelyn, but he knows Scout. He knows what it was like to be there, on the streets, to go hungry. He knows what you were like as a young girl. He has all these puzzle pieces and I hate that he used that to his advantage.”
“I want to hate you both. I can hate him, but I can’t seem to hate you.” She was weakening. That hard shell of ice she tried to encrust her heart in was thawing, and he was working his way through the fragile cracks. “I trusted you more than I’ve ever trusted anyone. You took care of my mom, Lucian. Do you know what that did to me? What it does? She’s the only thing I’ve ever had in this life and I was going to lose her. You saved her.”
Confessions spewed from her lips before she could draw them back. “That day that you found me, I thought, ‘Oh my God, he’s my hero.’ And you were. But then I come to find out . . .”
Lucian gripped her shoulders. “It changes nothing. I still found you. Don’t you see? I would have done anything to find you. Imagine what it did to me to have to agree to his terms, to let you go. I made sure there was a loophole, but you weren’t ready for that. I’d do it all over again, Evelyn. It’d kill me, but I would. I’d save you again and again, no matter the cost, because that’s how badly I need to know you’re safe.”
She opened her eyes and waited for the tears to clear. Blinking, she focused on him and recognized the staunch determination in his face. He was telling the truth.
His thumbs swept along her jaw as he gently clasped her neck, scrutinizing her. His pleading gaze was desperate. Her chest hurt. “Lucian . . .”
His head slowly lowered and he brushed his lips over hers. “I need you, Evelyn.” He stepped closer, tilting her head back. “I need you more than the air I breathe.” His mouth kissed the corner of hers. “Nothing is right when you’re absent. I own the whole damn city, but when you aren’t here, I can’t find home.”
A tear slipped past her lashes and he caught it on his lips, kissing it away. Her hands gripped his shirt. “You’re my home,” he breathed, turning her face to meet his kiss.
His lips slanted over hers and her lips parted. The press of his hand cupped the back of her head. “I love you,” he rasped, lifting her into his arms.
Her legs wrapped around him as her face pressed into his throat. He carried her to the bedroom, the unmade bed beckoning with rumpled sheets and imprinted pillows.
They fell onto the mattress and his body pressed over her, igniting the longing that never stopped smoldering deep inside her. She arched as his mouth worked down her throat to the sensitive curve of her shoulder.
Cool fingers slipped under her shirt and over her belly. She lifted as he removed her shirt. Easing up on his knees, he crossed his arms over his belly and pulled off his own shirt, tossing it to the floor as well.
She stared up at him, truly seeing him. He was beautiful, so different from other men she’d seen. Lucian’s olive skin was smooth. His muscles showed all over his trim body beneath a dusting of hair. He was entering the prime of his life, but he was no less gorgeous.
Her fingers traced up his torso and he cupped her hand, dragging it over his heart. They breathed heavily, the moment weighted in such intensity. Curling her fingers over his, she pulled his hand down to her chest and pressed it over her breast.
Her need outweighed her self-preservation, and the truth of what she wanted could no longer be denied. Strong fingers squeezed gently and she arched into his hold. Fingertips stuttered over the lace trim at the swell of her breasts, teasing her nipple into a tight point. He undid the clasp at her back as she lifted for him and the fabric pulled over her arms and fell away.
In the dim morning light, blocked by the curtains, Lucian’s skin glistened in hard splendor. He slid off the bed and she watched as his fingers slowly undid the snap of her jeans. Once stripped away, along with her panties, he removed the remainder of his clothing.
Something was different about this time. Yes, the urgent need to have him inside her was there, but there was something so potent, it was tangible. This would change everything. Not back to the way it was before, but to something new and perhaps even more powerful than what either of them had ever known. This was a validation of their need, honed by willing abstinence.
The mattress dipped as he climbed over her. His motions were measured. His body braced above hers and he lowered his head. Lips tickled hers as his mouth opened, not giving her his full kiss. Head tipped back, she arched, seeking more, but he continued to tease.
His body was a welcome weight over hers, encasing her in his strength. Heat singed her where their flesh touched. The weight of his arousal hung heavily on her belly, and she parted her legs.
Toes pointed, she slowly draped her knees around his hips. They rubbed their skin together softly, teasing, tempting, bringing each other slowly back to life. “Kiss me, Lucian.”
“If I kiss you, I’ll never be able to stop,” he whispered into her mouth as their bodies writhed.
“Then don’t.”
His lips crashed over hers as he took her mouth. His muscles bunched under the grip of her fingers. His hand traveled up her thigh, squeezing, massaging, and settled on her hip. His erection landed in the seam of her folds and grew slick with her arousal.
He ravished her mouth and she gave every drop of passion she had into that kiss. Tearing his lips from hers, he kissed and sucked her throat, biting softly at the tender spots and making her keen with need. She held his broad shoulders as he kissed a trail down to her breasts.
Easing back, he cupped her breasts and licked at the sensitive tips. It had been so long since she had been touched like this. Need burst inside of her. Her nails pressed into his muscled flesh as he pulled one turgid tip into his mouth and suckled hard.
His hands gripped her ribs, holding her in a way that made her feel delicate next to his strength, small and cherished. The fire inside of her built. Flames licked at her belly as his mouth traveled lower. Heat blazed in her loins.
He kissed a tender spot on the side of her stomach, and her back bowed. Lips traveled down to her hips, and fingers trailed through the soft patch of hair at the apex of her thighs.
“You’re different,” he whispered and heat burned her cheeks.
She’d lost weight and not been to the salon in well over a month. “I haven’t needed to . . .”
He smiled. “I know. I like that no one else has been here. This is mine, Evelyn. Don’t ever give it to someone else, or I may have to commit murder.”
She smiled. Her body belonged to him whether she’d accepted the reality of that or not. When she’d kissed Parker, there was something fundamentally lacking.
His fingers trailed over her dewy folds and teased her sensitive bud. “What are you thinking about?”
“You. What you do to me. No one else has that effect on me, Lucian. Sometimes it’s scary.”
“You do the same to me. I can’t choose to give you up. My body and heart forbid it. You’re like a drug.”
His head dipped and the soft glide of his tongue over her crease had her arching in his grip. She moaned at the gentle probing of his tongue.
“God, I’ve missed the taste of you.” His mouth closed over her, and a thousand volts of electricity shocked her back to life. Sprays of light flashed behind her eyes as he sucked at her tender skin.
His hands slid beneath her bottom and lifted her to his mouth. His tongue delved between her slick folds and he gently began to fuck her with his tongue. He pressed deep and her body jerked at the profound penetration, remembering what it was to be filled in such a tender way.
He nibbled at her flesh, flicked his tongue over her sensitive clit and proceeded to fuck her with his fingers. She came in a rush, crying out his name as waves burst from within, rippling her body. She jerked in his grip, but he never let her go. His mouth was relentless, driving the currents of pleasure further and further out, then pulling them back in.
He eased her down onto the mattress, dragging his fingers up the underside of her trembling thighs. Cupping beneath her knees, his hands pulled her legs further apart, exposing her.
“You’re all glossy and pink. Beautiful.”
There was no shame in having Lucian see her this way. He adored her feminine parts and taught her to never hide from him. His arm extended and he pressed his middle finger into her sex slowly, reaching for that soft patch of nerves hidden deep within. Her heels pressed into the mattress and she lifted into him.
“Very good, baby. Show me you need it. Show me how much you missed my touch.”
Oh God, she missed it. Another finger joined the first and then a third. Her body stretched around the intrusion. He tickled her G-spot, and soon his hand was fucking her hard, the wet slaps of his fingers sinking into her the only accompaniment to their heavy breathing.
She rode his hand, arching, her back coming fully off the bed as she came hard. Her second release surpassed her first, and she shook violently. He removed his fingers from her slick sex and rolled her on top of him.
Her hair formed a curtain around them. Her legs straddled his hips, her breasts clinging to his chest as she leaned over him and found his mouth. He tasted of her. He tasted of them. She kissed him hard, licking and biting at his lips, unable to get enough.
Her mouth traveled over the stubble of his sharp jaw, down his throat. Fingers combed through the hair traveling over his cut abs. She flicked his dark nipples with her tongue and he moaned.
Sliding lower, she gripped his cock in her fist. His flesh was burning. She squeezed him and his hips lifted. Meeting his gaze, she whispered. “I want you so much right now I can barely control myself.”
His lips parted and she was suddenly gripped and thrown to her back. Lucian’s mouth slammed down on hers and he kissed her almost violently, yet his touch was controlled. Fingers ran over the high arch of her cheekbones. His thumb smudged over her lips. Neither shut their eyes, staring intently at one another as he pressed his lips to her jaw and whispered. Each word dragged over her flesh like its own caress.
“I’ll come. I haven’t been with anyone since our last time at the estate. I want you so desperately right now, Evelyn, I’m afraid I won’t last.”
“Let me have you. I want you to come in my mouth.”
He growled and rolled to his back, pulling her on top of him again. She crawled down his body and fisted him, pumping in two long solid strokes that had him groaning before she took him into her mouth.
He was already salty with precum. Her scalp pinched as he fisted her hair. Hissing, he pressed her down. Her lips stretched over his thickness as he pressed to the back of her throat. She worked her fingers at the root, her other hand cupping him, massaging gently as he pulled and pressed her over him.
Her nails softly teased at the underside of his sac, tickling the path of skin just below. He groaned. “Touch me, Evelyn.” Her fingers explored his body. “Yes, that’s it baby. Make me come.”
He growled through gritted teeth. She jerked him hard, scraping her teeth lightly up his shaft as she sunk down on him, engulfing him in the heat of her mouth.
He lurched and arched, nearly severing their connection. His hand fisted in her hair as he rapidly fucked her mouth. She pressed deep and his guttural moan filled the room. “Fuck! Enough. I need to be inside you.”
Scout kissed up his trembling belly and he grabbed her. Her legs wrapped around his hips as he sat up, hugging her tightly, his face pressed into her throat. He nuzzled her through her wild hair. “I love you so much,” he whispered fiercely.
He was still hard against her flesh. They sat upright, trembling, as his mouth kissed over her breasts. When his lips found hers, they stilled and stared at each other through hooded eyes. His potent need clear in his smoldering gaze.
Scout lifted her hips, shifting her position, as he guided his cock to her sex. Their eyes never wavered as they each were locked in that moment in time. She was drenched with need. As his length filled her, Scout’s moan paralleled his. The shock of pleasure broke their intense stare. Back arching, she fanned her fingers through his dark hair, fisting and pulling his head back as she came down on him and bit at his rough jaw.
Strong hands gripped below her breasts, spanning her waist as their bodies slowly began to move in tandem. Skin clung to skin. Breath mingled, and whispers of affection and pleasure filled the room. It was possibly the most intensely beautiful moment of her life.
Dark eyes stared into hers and there was not a secret between them in that moment. Everything was raw and honest and undeniably carnal. Their bodies glistened with sweat. Fingers dug into tender muscle as nails titillated and scraped. They would each wear marks of their possession.
She seated herself and his cock pressed into her G-spot. His mouth sealed over her throat and sucked as she rode him, rotating her hips and stealing her pleasure. Hot breath beat at her neck. “That’s it, love. Take what you need. Let me feel you come all over my cock.”
Bowing, her mouth opening in a silent plea of pleasure as desire exploded into something unnamable and delicious, her body pulsed and twitched as he held her. Warmth erupted into her channel as he came, his own cries of pleasure mingling with hers.
Tipping back onto the bed, trembling, holding tight, she never wanted to let him go. Harsh gasps for air filled the quiet room as she stared into Lucian’s expressive, dark eyes. Her thumb combed over his dark brow and he gently kissed her lips. “I love you, Evelyn.”
It was time, time to face her reality. She caught her breath and met his stare. “I love you too, Lucian. Please don’t hurt me ever again.”
His eyes closed and his grip tightened. She knew how long he’d waited to hear those words. They were offered freely, without coercion, without guile. They were the only truth she had in this world. She loved him and that love terrified her, because it had the ability to tear her to sheds and leave nothing behind.