Chapter 20
Josie
I walked forward through the doors at the back of the courtroom and across the floor. My hands were cuffed at the wrists, and they had put chains around my ankles, forcing me to shuffle along in my laceless shoes. The sheriff deputy escorting me tried to be gentle, but his hands were big, and my arms were already raw from all the people pushing and pulling me around. My teeth chattered in my mouth, even though the courthouse was considerably warmer than the cell I had been staying in. I had to grasp my hands together to keep the cuff chains from rattling since my hands were trembling. I was absolutely terrified of what was going to happen, and I was more than embarrassed to be walking into a courtroom to be tried for something that I would never have thought to do. I was not a murderer, but all of those people were going to see me that way, and that was so shameful.
I looked across the courtroom, and my eyes stopped when they met Blaine’s. My cheeks blushed at the fact that he was seeing me like this. I never thought my boyfriend would have to watch me walk across a courtroom in an orange jumpsuit, my hands and ankles shackled together, and my face bare from the lack of hygiene facilities. However, as I walked to the side, awaiting the judge, he smiled one of his big, charming smiles in my direction. Immediately, I felt my body relax a bit, and some of the tension released from the knot in my stomach.
Beyond just the fact that Blaine was seeing me this way, I was completely ashamed at the thought of so many people standing by, hearing the egregious charges pending against me. I knew that I was innocent, but they didn’t, and I couldn’t even start to think about how they would look at me from that day on. Even if I somehow got out of the charges, people would question my character for the rest of my life. I may have been down some rough roads, but this was the worst, and I just wanted it to be over.
I was ushered over to the table next to Blaine as the judge entered and took a seat. Everyone else took a seat after him, and the hearing began. The judge looked through the file for several minutes before looking up at me. He seemed to be surprised by the way I looked.
“Will the prosecution repeat the charges, please?” he asked.
“Yes, your honor,” the prosecutor said, standing up. “The charges against the accused, Josephine Gray are murder in the first degree.”
He continued to read off the rest of the charges, but I barely heard them after the murder charge. This whole situation still felt like a bad dream, and my head felt dazed and uncertain.
“And how does the defendant plead?” the judge asked.
“Not guilty, your honor,” I said into the microphone with a confident nod from Blaine.
The judge wrote something down in his notes, and I looked over as the court reporter typed away. There was a slight whisper from the crowd behind me, and I tried to ignore it. It was difficult, considering what they were saying was not shining a positive light on me. To the left was the victim’s family, and I could feel their cold stares in the back of my head. If only they could see into my memory, they would know that I didn’t kill their family member. I wasn’t sure if pleading “not guilty” was the right thing to do or not. On one hand, if I pled guilty, it would possibly save my father from further harm, but on the other hand, I would go to prison for life, and the real killer would still be out there somewhere, ready to kill again. Paulie was not joking around with me, and I knew that this was going to bite me in the ass, but I was left with very few options. Besides, there was no way that Blaine was going to allow me to plead guilty.
“Your honor,” the prosecutor said. “The state asks that the defendant be reprimanded into custody.”
That meant that they wanted me to stay in jail until the trial was over. The trial could last a year or more, depending on the defense and how fast the court moved things through. I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to survive in jail for that long. Someone would eventually mess with me. I was like a fresh piece of meat, and I wasn’t tough enough to stand up for myself. Some of those girls were used to the system and had no fear of getting in trouble. I clenched my fist and tears began to fill my eyes. Blaine patted my hands and stood up, closing his jacket.
“Your honor,” he said. “We are very much against leaving her in that jail cell. My client has never been charged with so much as a parking ticket in her entire life. She has strong ties to the community as a teacher and volunteer, and she has a father who solely depends on her for support. She is in no way a flight risk.”
“Yes, a father that is still missing,” the judge said, looking down at his papers.
I stood next to Blaine, waiting for the judge to make his decision. I could feel my heart beating so fast, I was afraid I was going to pass out, right then and there. I needed to get out of that cell, I needed to find my father, and I needed to help Blaine prove my innocence. There was nothing I could do to help myself from behind those bars, and I was too fearful for my safety to venture out into the common areas. My home was where I belonged, and it was where I needed to be.
“I am setting bail at one million dollars,” the judge said, hitting his gavel on the plate on his desk. “Defendant will remain in the custody of the State of Florida until the bail has been paid or the trial has concluded.”
There was a rush of voices behind me, and I could tell people were not happy that the judge set a bail for me. It wasn’t like it mattered anyway. What kind of school teacher had a million dollars sitting around for a rainy day? I looked at Blaine, and he smiled as if this were a win. Tears flooded my eyes as Blaine walked with me while the deputy escorted me from the building. I didn’t even know what to say, and I couldn’t help but let the tears flow down my face. My heart was racing out of control, and I couldn’t collect my thoughts enough to speak. I was completely and totally freaking out, and I felt like I was going to have an anxiety attack. As soon as the room started to spin, I reached out for Blaine, who caught me and sat me down in a chair. He looked me in the face and forced eye contact with me.
“Hey,” he said. “Take a deep breath. Deep breath.”
“I don’t know what to do,” I cried. “I can’t afford that.”
“Relax,” he said. “I’ll take care of the bail. It’s no big deal.”
“Really?”
“Yes,” he said, rubbing my hand. “I just need you to stay strong. We are working really hard to get you out of all of this. I will explain everything as soon as I can pick you up.”
I shook my head and stood back up, looking him in the eyes as the sheriff escorted me back to the jail and locked me in my cell. I took a deep breath, realizing that I was going to be out of that place really soon, and once free, I would do everything in my power to not come back.
I sat there and stared at the clock on the wall, continuously telling myself that it would be any minute. However, as dinner arrived and a tray was passed through the cell door, I started to worry that I had been forgotten. But that wasn’t possible. Blaine would never just forget me in here. He believed in my innocence, and I was sure that the first thing he did was post bail. I pushed around the mashed potatoes on my plate, hungry but wanting to wait until I got home to eat. However, as the hours passed and the lights flashed as our ten-minute warning, I realized that there was no way I was getting out of there that night. The courts were all closed at that point, and they would only release prisoners during working hours. I was going to be forced to spend another night in the cold, steel cell.
Right before the close of the night, when we all ended up lying in our bunks and staring at the ceiling, the door buzzed, and a new prisoner was brought in. At first, I kept my eyes to myself, learning very quickly that if you wanted to stay under the radar, you needed to mind your own business. I shook my head, thinking about it and realizing I never imagined that I would need to know how to survive in jail. I heard all the other girls cheering and chanting her name. As soon as the name echoed through my mind, I started to panic. It was Harry, and apparently, she was a bit of a celebrity in these parts, her nickname being Harry the Hammer. I looked through the bars of the holding cell next to me and saw her standing there, smiling and glaring over at me.
I looked down quickly, realizing that she was probably there for me. I had pled not guilty, and there was no way they hadn’t found out about that. I looked at the two other girls in my cell that had been added since the morning. At first, I didn’t mind the company, but now, with the way they were looking at me, I realized it was a huge mistake. Harry walked over to the bars and leaned into them, an angry smile on her face. She motioned for me to come over to her, but I shook my head and backed up. Harry glanced up at the other two girls, and I jumped, realizing they were with her. Before I could scream, the two girls grabbed me by the arms and dragged me toward Harry. She reached her large, strong arm through the bars and grabbed me by the collar of my jumpsuit, pulling me hard into the steel. Her breath was rancid, and her mouth was just inches from my face.
“What do you want?” I kept my tears back and tried to sound confident. “Leave me alone.”
“Sweet, sweet, Josie,” she mocked as the other girls laughed. “You done fucked up real good.”
“Let me go,” I yelled loudly, squirming to get free.
Harry strengthened her grip on my shirt and slammed me forward into the bars. My face hit the steel, and I could feel a small trickle of blood come from my lip. I slowly raised my eyes to Harry, no longer angry, but instead, pissed as hell. She chuckled at my anger and leaned in as close as she could.
“You made a serious mistake pleading not guilty,” she whispered. “Obviously, dear old daddy doesn’t mean much to you. If you want him to stay alive, then you better fix this and fix it fast.”
She let go of my jumpsuit and walked backward, laughing as she sat down on her cot and stared at me. The other girls had gathered against their own steel bars, watching the confrontation. I wiped my lips on the back of my sleeve and looked at the other girls. They smirked and walked back to their cots. Needless to say, I didn’t get any sleep that night, and I was looking forward to seeing the guard’s face first thing in the morning.