Chapter Seventeen
CONFESSION
You never get anywhere standing still.
But then, you don’t get much further on the 405 either.
“IS HE OKAY?” Robbie said, as he and Priest stood by baggage claim around thirty minutes later.
Like him, Priest wasn’t paying any attention to the bags that were rotating on the black conveyor belt. Instead, they were focused on Julien, who was standing over by one of the exits, staring out at the buses, cars, and taxis driving by.
Julien hadn’t said a word since they’d arrived, and the smile from earlier on the plane had vanished the moment they’d set foot in the L.A. terminal, making Robbie start to worry.
“No,” Priest said, his mouth set in a grim line, his focus locked on his husband. “He’s not.”
Shit, Robbie thought, but knew there was little to nothing he could do. There was no quick fix to all of this. No fix at all…really.
When Robbie sighed, Priest turned to him. “Are you sure you want to be here for this? It’s not too late for us to book you a return—”
“No,” Robbie said, and shook his head. There were many things he wanted to do right then, from comforting Julien to being there if Priest needed him. But leaving? That wasn’t one of them. “I’m not going anywhere but with the both of you. So if you’re trying to get rid of me, you’re going to have to do better than that.”
Priest ran his fingers over the frown on Robbie’s brow, and as he looked into those grey eyes, Robbie wished he could read Priest’s mind.
“That’s the last thing I’m trying to do,” Priest said. “I just want to be aware of how you’re coping with all of this. How you’re feeling is just as important here.”
Robbie looked over at Julien and knew only one thing. He wanted to be there if, and when, Julien needed him. He wanted to be available to listen when Julien was ready to share. And that couldn’t happen if he was back in Chicago.
“Robert?” Priest said, and took Robbie’s chin in hand. “You can leave. We won’t think any less—”
Robbie reached for Priest’s wrist and drew it away. “I’m not leaving. Not him. Not you. He asked me to be here and you didn’t nix the idea, so let me be here. Let me help you take care of him this weekend.”
Priest ran the pad of his thumb over Robbie’s lips, then he leaned in and kissed him softly, making Robbie giggle when Priest’s short scruff tickled him.
Priest raised his head, his eyes serious as he slicked his tongue over his lower lip and said, “What’s today’s flavor?”
Robbie’s mouth curved into a wide smile. Ever since he’d moved in, he’d delighted in introducing Julien and Priest to his wide array of flavored lip glosses, his favorite addiction.
“Sugar Plum. But I like to call it Sugar Plum Fairy.” Robbie added an impish wink that drew out that elusive grin of Priest’s. “You like?”
“Very much,” Priest said. “You and your sweet lips.”
“Are you trying to take my mind off things by appealing to my vanity?”
“I am.”
“Well…it’s working,” Robbie said, and held up his thumb and forefinger a few inches apart. “A teensy bit.”
“Good. Then let’s grab our bags and get over to Julien and see if we can distract him.”
Robbie nodded and turned back to the suitcases circling them on the belt, but couldn’t stop himself from taking one more look at Julien, who remained staring out the window like a caged animal. One who desperately wanted to be anywhere but where he was.
* * *
BY THE TIME they collected their bags and came to a standstill behind Julien, his hands were jammed into his pockets and his shoulders were rigid.
Priest glanced at Robbie and held a finger up, as he stepped around his suitcase and walked over to stop beside his husband. Julien didn’t turn to look, but when Priest touched his fingers to his arm, Julien automatically brought a hand out from his pocket to cover the one now resting on his loose, cream-colored cardigan.
“I’m all right, mon amour,” Julien said in a quiet voice, and it didn’t surprise Priest that Julien knew what he was thinking without him having to speak. That was always the way with them.
“I’m just thinking,” Julien continued. “Wondering why I put myself through this every year.”
“You put yourself through it because this is where she is, and they’re your family. Because you are theirs,” Priest said.
“They’ve made it abundantly clear they wished that wasn’t the case. But it is what it is,” Julien said. “I guess I should just be thankful they don’t lock the gates on me.”
I fucking dare them to try, Priest thought, and shook his head in disgust. But the truth was that he was also surprised they hadn’t resorted to locking their only living child from his home. Then again, Priest got the impression they enjoyed having someone to blame for their misery. Someone to hold responsible for all of their anger and sorrow.
“Haven’t you been punished enough?” Priest whispered, as he moved his hand up to cup the back of Julien’s neck.
Julien turned his head, and his sad eyes told Priest there would never be enough punishment for what had happened all those years ago, then he said, “Non.”
Priest wanted to argue, to vehemently disagree, and while the baggage area seemed an appropriate setting for them to talk about all of this, he knew it wasn’t the right time or place to delve into details.
After several silent seconds passed, the two of them looked over to where Robbie stood watching them with a pensive expression, and Priest decided it was time to head out. They were getting nowhere standing still.
“Well, Mr. Bianchi, are you ready to see L.A.?” Priest said.
“Why yes, Mr. Priestley, I think I am.” And the smile that crossed Robbie’s face was enough to pull Julien out of his headspace.
“Then what are we waiting for?” Julien said, and stretched a hand out to Robbie. “Let’s go, princesse.”
* * *
“IS THE TRAFFIC always like this?” Robbie asked, as they moved half a car length up the 405 and again came to a stop.
“Oui. It is, always. It’s even worse during rush hour,” Julien said from where he sat behind the wheel of their black SUV rental, with Robbie seated beside him and Priest in the back.
They were crawling up the 405 freeway and Julien was tapping his finger along to the music softly playing through the speakers, trying not to think about what was going to go down in the next forty-eight hours.
“Robert?” Priest said, as Robbie stared out ahead at the sea of brake lights, in what now felt more like a parking lot than a freeway.
“Hmm?”
Priest had been going out of his way to make small talk and keep everyone occupied since they’d left the airport, and if it had been any other time or place, it would’ve been highly amusing to see him so chatty. As it was, Julien was nothing but grateful for the distraction.
“How is it that someone as flashy as yourself has never been to L.A.? I would’ve assumed this was your kind of town.”
“Right?” Robbie said, his attention now redirected as he shifted in his seat so he was angled toward the middle of the vehicle. “It really does feel like my kind of place, doesn’t it? All the glitter and glam? Hmm, maybe I should think about relocating. My ma always said I should never hide my light under a bushel.”
“No one could ever accuse you of doing that,” Priest said, as he ran his eyes over Robbie’s grey V-neck shirt that had black Eiffel Towers and bright red kisses all over it. He’d told them he’d had to have it when he spotted it last week because it made him think of kissing Julien.
“I mean, who wouldn’t want to live here? I bet there are thousands of sexy single men waiting to be discovered, aren’t there?” Robbie let out a dreamy sigh and then shrugged. “Not that I care about that now, of course. But that would’ve been a huge draw before.”
“Before?” Priest said.
“Yeah. Before this. Before us. Now, I’m one hundred percent content.”
“How reassuring.”
“Oh, please.” Robbie rolled his eyes. “Don’t even try to act like you don’t know I’m totally stupid over the two of you.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Julien saw Priest lean forward between the seats to say, “There’s nothing stupid about you, sweetheart. Don’t say that, ever.”
“You know what I mean,” Robbie said.
“Do I?”
“Um, yeah. When you two are in a room, I can barely find my tongue to speak. A.k.a: stupid for the both of you.”
Julien reached over the console and placed a hand on Robbie’s thigh, deciding this conversation was just the kind of diversion he could do with.
“Don’t worry yourself, princesse. When you’re in a room with us, we’ll always be happy to help you locate your tongue.”
Robbie chuckled and put a hand over Julien’s to slide it higher up his leg. “Promise?”
“Promis.”
“Robert,” Priest said, and Robbie shivered at the sound of his name. “Give Julien his hand back. He needs to concentrate on driving, not your hot little body.”
“Ugh, you’re such a spoilsport,” Robbie said. “In here, on the plane, but I am thrilled that you think I have a hot little body. That’s practically a declaration of love coming from you.”
As the word love left his lips, Robbie’s eyes widened and he clapped a hand over his mouth in mortification, and Julien started to laugh—loudly.
When Priest joined in and sat back in his seat, Robbie ran a hand through his hair and then blew out a breath. “Okay, you two,” he said. “If you’re both done laughing at me and my loose lips, can we please move along? And since you took my fun away, Joel, tell me—have you ever met anyone famous?”
“Depends,” Priest said. “What level of fame are we talking here? Because if you’ll recall, I’m married to, and you’re involved with, someone quite famous.”
Julien shook his head as he aimed his eyes in the mirror at Priest.
“Oh, I never forget that,” Robbie said, and waggled his eyebrows. “But okay, let’s say movie star. Have you ever met a real-life movie star?”
“I have, actually. One of the biggest in the business.” When Priest didn’t elaborate, Robbie spun on him, his embarrassment from a minute ago clearly a thing of the past.
“Who? Who have you met? You can’t leave it at that. Do I know them? Have I heard of them? Male or female?”
“Are you going to take a breath anytime soon or should I just wait until you run out of steam?”
Robbie clamped his lips shut but glared at Priest to let him know he wasn’t happy about it.
“Ace Locke.”
The name didn’t require any further explanation. Ace Locke was one of Hollywood’s biggest movie stars.
Julien cut a quick glance in Robbie’s direction, and saw him looking completely and utterly flummoxed. “Are you okay, princesse?”
Robbie blinked a couple of times, and then managed, “Did he just say Ace Locke?”
“Oui, he did.”
Robbie seemed to regain control over his brain function then, as his eyes flew back to Priest. “Shut your face.”
“Impressed?” Priest said.
“Im…impressed? Ace Locke is, like…” While Robbie sputtered trying to find his words, Priest provided him with a few.
“One of the biggest movie stars of our generation? Not to mention openly gay and married to—”
“Dylan Prescott,” Robbie cut in. “Hello. Smoking-hot male model marries Hollywood superstar. Do you really think I don’t know who these two are? Come on, don’t you know me at all? I followed their wedding plans from the announcement to the ‘I dos.’ Holy fuck. My mind is totally blown right now. Totally. Blown. How do you even know him?” Robbie paused, and then looked between them. “Oh my God, you two didn’t sleep with Ace Locke, did you?” When Priest didn’t immediately answer, Robbie demanded in a much higher octave, “Did you?”
“No,” Priest said, and couldn’t hold back his chuckle. “He’s not exactly our type.”
Robbie seemed to think that over. “Okay, yeah, that makes sense, but…but how, then? This is insanity.”
Priest shrugged, but the smirk on his lips told Julien that he was enjoying this detour from the more serious topics just as much as he was.
“I know him through Logan.”
“Wait…Logan knows Ace fucking Locke and never told me?”
“I have to say,” Priest said drolly, “I’m not overly disappointed about that, considering your reaction right now.”
As Priest’s words penetrated Robbie’s excitement, a mischievous smile slid over his lips and he preened a little. “We-he-ell, would you look at that. If I didn’t know better, I might think you were jealous, Mr. Priestley.”
Julien took the exit they needed and said, “I’d say you know him very well, princesse. He’s jealous.”
“Really?” Robbie said, and ran his eyes over the jeans and black button-up Priest was wearing. “That’s super hot.”
“Why do I feel like that pleases you a little too much?” Priest said.
“Because it does. You’re totally jealous,” Robbie said, then grinned like the devil himself. “Is it the thought of Ace throwing me up against a wall that annoys you, or—”
“Robert,” Priest growled, and Robbie let out a pleased laugh.
“Okay, okay. Sorry, I got a little off track. Where was I? Oh, I remember, how does Logan know Ace Locke? Not that I’m surprised. I swear to God he slept with everyone before he settled down with Tate.”
“Through school, I believe,” Priest said. “Or college? I can’t remember, and right now I really don’t care.”
“Geez, a little testy, aren’t we?” Robbie said, and slumped back in his seat. “Well, either way, I’m officially impressed.”
“Good, because I’m officially ending this conversation. Your excitement is making me feel—”
“Inadequate?” Robbie said.
“‘Irritated’ was more the word I had in mind,” Priest said, as Julien finally turned up his parents’ street and drove past several of the mansions that sat along Bel Air Road. “Now why don’t you turn around and enjoy your current view.”
Robbie rolled his eyes, and then turned just as Julien pulled the SUV into his parents’ driveway.
“We’re here,” Julien said, as he wound down his window and punched in the code to the iron gates. As they yawned open, Julien felt like a chasm as wide as the Grand Canyon had appeared before him, as he inched the car forward into the courtyard.
Robbie peered out the windshield at the enormous house that was lit up in front of them, and then he muttered, “Holy shit.”
Julien drew the car to a stop and stared at the stone steps that led up to the double glass doors that were the back entrance, and his stomach tightened just as his hands did around the steering wheel.
For a few minutes on the way out there, he’d forgotten why they were all back in L.A. But as he sat there now, with the engine cut, and silence the only thing in the car, it all came roaring back.
Priest’s hand on his shoulder made Julien jolt in his seat.
“You ready?”
Julien looked at him in the rearview mirror and said, “No.” Then he felt Robbie’s fingers wrap around his and squeeze. “But I want it over with.”
Priest gave a clipped nod. “Princess?”
“Yes?” Robbie answered, his face now a mask of seriousness, his understanding of the mood in the car a testament to their burgeoning relationship.
“No matter what happens tonight with his parents, no matter what is said, remember that you’re here because Julien asked you to come. He wants you here. He wants you to understand this part of him. Okay?”
Julien knew what Priest was doing. He was warning Robbie. He was trying to prepare him for what was about to come. It was something Julien should’ve been doing himself, but he couldn’t seem to find his voice.
“Okay,” Robbie said. “I understand.”
Julien swallowed, wishing that were true. But really, there was no way to prepare someone for the disgust one’s parents had for a son who had killed their only daughter.