AROUND FORTY MINUTES later, Julien jolted in his sleep and reached for the sheets to catch himself on the spiral down.

Sleep had claimed the three who were now showered and entwined under the covers. But as two drifted off into mindless slumber, Julien’s thoughts had wandered away from him. Away from the room, and men, who’d distracted him tonight, and into the darkness, where old ghosts had once again found him.

“That was a nice picture you painted tonight, Julien. But not a very accurate one. Did you really think I’d gone away?”

Julien shook his head on the pillow and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to banish her voice from his mind, but it was no use. As his pulse sped up, his body shook, and sweat popped out on his brow.

You’re not real, he thought, and curled his fingers around the sheet like it was a lifeline. You’re not real.

“Aren’t I?” the familiar voice taunted. “Then why am I still here?”

At the familial term, Julien’s eyes shot open and he brought a hand up to his chest. He couldn’t breathe. Fuck. He was losing his mind.

He blinked several times, trying to focus on the room he knew he was in, but all he saw were shadows dancing across the ceiling. Shadows taking form in the shape of the one who now haunted him.

“You will never be free of me. Tu comprends? I’m the crime that you committed. This face, not the bright-eyed girl, but this. The one you want to forget. I will always be here. Always…”

Julien’s brow was drenched now, his heart thumping a mile a second. But other than the blood rushing around his head, the only other sound in the room was that of the two beside him, breathing evenly in their sleep.

Oui, focus on them, he told himself, and shut his eyes again. This is just a nightmare. She’s not real. She’s not here. But as he rolled to his side, Jacquelyn’s pale face and lifeless eyes were right there staring back at him.

“But I am, aren’t I? I am the guilt inside your head.”

Julien’s mind screamed out in denial, and he brought his knees up to his chest and covered his face with his hands. “You’re dead.”

“And whose fault is that?”

A shudder racked his body, and as tears escaped Julien’s eyes and rolled down his cheeks, he whispered, “Mine…” and then prayed that guilt, sleep, or whatever it was he deserved would finally come and claim him.

ROBBIE WOKE WHEN Julien shouted out and flinched on the mattress beside him. He opened his eyes and blinked until he could make out Julien’s form, and saw that he was lying on his side facing away. He was further than he’d ever been before, and from the look of the sheet, Julien was curled in on himself, as though protecting his body from someone or something.

A bad dream? Robbie thought. Or maybe…Jacquelyn? That was the name he’d called out. Usually, Julien slept so well compared to Priest, and Robbie wasn’t sure what he should do next. Leave or wake him?

He watched closely, looking for any more signs of distress. But when the room remained silent, Robbie figured that whatever had startled Julien had since passed, and he stretched a hand out across the space that was between them.

When his fingers didn’t quite reach the sleeping man, Robbie’s heart ached. He’d never felt more helpless than he did right then. Julien was suffering. Robbie could see that more and more with every hour that passed, and he wished there was something he could do to help, to somehow ease his pain. But all he could do was watch as Julien fought off whatever chased him in his sleep, and that hurt more than Robbie knew it should. Realizing that he didn’t know everything about Julien. That Robbie was unable to give Julien what he really needed because he wasn’t aware of all of his secrets—yet.

Robbie sighed and turned to seek out the one he knew could help, but, of course, Priest’s side of the bed was empty. He looked over to the bedroom door where it was cracked, saw a sliver of light peeking through it, and gently pushed the covers back.

As he swung his legs over the bed, Robbie reached for Priest’s robe and shrugged into it. He then tiptoed across the room, and when he reached the door, he glanced back one last time to check on Julien to see that his legs were now stretched out and he appeared more relaxed than he had minutes ago.

Satisfied that Julien seemed peaceful for now, Robbie opened the door and walked through, closing it to a crack, just as Priest had done.

As he walked across the living room, Robbie spotted Priest in the kitchen with his hands braced on the counter and his head angled down. He’d pulled on his lounge pants but nothing more, and when Robbie walked around the island and got close enough to touch, he placed a hand on Priest’s naked back.

Robbie didn’t speak, but when Priest turned his head and they locked eyes with one another, the worry in those steely depths was evident. Priest’s concern for Julien was written all over his face, and Robbie had to wonder if it matched his own.

“Hey.”

“Hello.” Priest ran his eyes down the robe, and his lips curved an inch. “Are you okay?”

Robbie nodded and gestured over his shoulder to their bedroom. “Julien, he…”

“I know. He’s restless tonight.”

“Yes,” Robbie said. “He, uh…he called out her name but then went back to sleep.”

Priest slowly nodded and sighed before he reached up into a cabinet and pulled a bottle of whiskey from it. Robbie leaned back against the counter and watched as he poured two glasses, and then held one out.

Robbie took it and downed it in one gulp. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Priest said, and did the same. After he placed the glass on the counter, he frowned. “Things are going to get rough around here over the next week or so.”

Robbie nodded and rubbed at his arms. “I figured. I hate this for him. Hate seeing him suffer. Tonight he seemed happy to talk about her. You don’t think I pushed him too hard, do you?”

“No.” Priest's voice was more solemn than ever, which told Robbie just how serious this was. “He enjoyed talking about her with you, I could tell. But it’s stirred up some of the more painful memories too. I know it’s hard to see him like this, and it’s only going to get worse, but it’s his process.”

“Process?”

“Yes. It’s how he’s able to function the rest of the time.” Priest rubbed a hand over his forehead, and then walked around the island to go and look out the balcony doors. “This is the one time of the year that he really allows himself to feel what happened. To remember and acknowledge it. The rest of the time, he is very good at compartmentalizing. Locking it away.”

Robbie wanted to ask Priest what exactly had happened to Jacquelyn, but knew that, like Julien had once said about Priest, Julien’s story was for him to tell, and Robbie just had to be there when he was ready to tell it.

“I’m worried about him,” Robbie said, and walked over to stand beside Priest. The twinkling lights of the city were beautiful, and while you could see the cars below, not a sound could be heard, making the night a peaceful one. “I wish there was something I could do to help him.”

Priest turned and put his hands on Robbie’s shoulders. “There is. He’s going to drive himself into the ground this week to drown out everything else. He has that interview with the Culinary Institute, and the restaurant to organize for opening night. He will use all of that to get him through to next weekend, and we just have to let him go. Let him do it his way and be there when he stops, when he finally looks for someone to lean on. Trust me, you’re doing something by just being here. By being willing to come with us and help me get him through next week.”

Robbie bit down on his lip. “I guess.”

“It’s true. Now go back to bed and sleep. That’s the other way you help him. You give him someone to hold on to when he needs it.”

“So do you.”

Priest dropped his hands by his sides. “Do you forget where you found me tonight?”

“No, but… Okay, then. What do you give him?” Robbie asked, wondering if Priest would respond. But he should’ve known better. Transparency was the key to Julien and Priest, and to the relationship being nurtured between the three of them.

You want to know something, ask. Robbie couldn’t remember how many times they’d both told him that.

“I give him someone who understands that life is anything but fair, and someone who loves him regardless of his past. Perhaps even because of it. Because that is what made him the man he is today.”

Priest brushed a kiss across Robbie’s forehead, and the move was so sweet, and so unlike him, that it made a shiver race up Robbie’s spine.

“We all have a role here, Robert. No one’s is greater or more important than the other. It’s just different. That’s why we work, and will continue to work, if we’re honest with one another. Now go and sleep.”

“And what are you going to do?”

“I’m going to sit in there and watch over the two of you.”

Robbie’s heart practically skipped a beat at that response, as he walked toward the bedroom with Priest by his side. “You know, Julien told me something today that I don’t believe. Not for a second.”

“And what’s that?”

“That you hated him the second time you met. The night he asked you out on a date. But that’s not true, is it?”

Priest came to a halt in the bedroom doorway. “No, it’s not.”

Robbie nodded and looked over at the bed, where Julien now lay on his side with the sheets pulled up around him.

“I wanted him from the second he turned around and told me that he was stealing my car. Much like I wanted you that day in the elevator.”

Robbie’s head whipped around, and he saw the serious expression on Priest’s face. Priest meant exactly what he’d said.

“It was instant, and powerful. And that’s how I knew it was right.”

“I…uh,” Robbie said, and then forced a gulp of air down his throat. “I never know what to say when you talk to me like that.”

“I know,” Priest said. “Get in bed, princess. Get some sleep. And when you do think of something you want to say, feel free to tell me—anytime. I promise you, I’ll always want to hear it.”

Robbie’s cheeks flushed as he brushed by Priest to go and climb in the side of the bed where he wouldn’t disturb Julien. As he scooted in closer, Robbie wound an arm around Julien’s waist, and Julien immediately took hold of his hand.

Robbie then raised his eyes to find Priest exactly where he said he’d be—sitting in a chair watching over the two of them—and as he drifted off again, Robbie wondered if he’d ever be brave enough to tell both of these men just how hard he was falling for them.