The Real Lily

Lily paced inside her cabin. Something was going on, and she had no idea what it was. She only knew she didn't like it. Turning, finally, she moved to her door and opened it.

It was only a few feet to the door of Bella's cabin. She hurried over, treading lightly, and raised her hand to knock.

She paused abruptly. There were two voices coming from inside the room. Her eyes widened. Two? She waited, putting her ear to the door. The doors to the cabins were thick, the voices soft. But she was sure she could hear the word "stowaway".

Four bells sounded, signaling the end of the first dog watch. It was time for supper. Lily went back inside her cabin and waited for Arabella to come out. A few minutes later, she heard the sound of the door opening and closing. Waiting a few seconds, she peeked out. Bella was moving toward the ladder.

Lily came out of her cabin a second time, knocked lightly, and waited.

There was no answer. She reached for the knob. It was locked.

"Miss Collingwood? I would be happy to escort you down, if you're ready."

Lily's sharp intake of breath was heard as she looked up to see the commander. Her hands were behind her now. "Thank you, sir. That would please me."

"I believe I saw Miss St. John leave her cabin a few minutes ago," he remarked, watching her curiously. He held out his arm, and she moved forward quickly to take it, smiling.

"Did you?"

When they reached the dining hall, the captain was seated and talking with Bella, who was smiling up at him. He rose as Lily and Earl were ready to be seated. He led the prayer, and they began eating. Lily's eyes roamed the room, listening to the voices of the seamen, laughing as they talked.

Bella was dipping her biscuits into the soup, to soften them, and setting them aside. Lily watched her carefully as she dipped in more than one. Across the table, Bella seemed distracted and more than a little nervous, biting her lower lip and glancing up at the captain frequently. She ate only a small bit of her food and a little hardtack. There was no fruit on the table this time.

"Arabella." The captain's deep voice caught her attention. "If you don't like it, we could get you some fruit." He was grinning. "An apple, perhaps?"

Arabella was grinning back. "I would like that, sir," she said softly.

He rose to his feet and went to the cook, coming back with an apple in one hand and an orange in the other, giving both to her. Lily stared. She didn't believe what she saw. But she listened carefully. The captain seemed to have softened toward Arabella, and she wondered why.

"You don't seem to be eating much, either, Miss Collingwood." Earl's voice spoke into her ear, from her right. "Are you well? Do I need to help you return to your room?"

Lily glared up at him, ready with a retort. But his face held only concern. His dark brown eyes searched hers, crinkling at the corners. For the first time, she noticed how ruggedly handsome he was. His smile was endearing.

Her appetite was suddenly gone. Her stomach seemed to be doing flip-flops.

"I think I would like that, sir," she said quietly.

A few moments later, she was alone inside her cabin. Walking to her bed, she sat down, and blinked. The commander was, indeed, one of the most handsome men she'd ever been close to. He might not have money or power, but there was something about him that was truly striking.

She thought of Mr. Picou, in America. Her intended was a wonderful catch; that fact could not be denied. He was full of passion and promises about the life they would share in the city. He spoke of fine clothes, fancy parties and a lavish apartment where she could come and go as she pleased, so long as she was there when he sought her company. She had promised.

When he had told her he would be returning to America, she was crestfallen and begged him not to abandon her. It had been a humbling experience, but he'd come through in the end, promising to book her passage to his country. Then he filled her head with all the wonderful things he would be able to secure for her, once she was his to enjoy.

What a fanciful way to describe marriage, she thought. She could hardly wait to become his bride and start her new life. The only downfall in the entire dream come true was not being able to rub the noses of her former friends in her good fortune.

But it was not Claude Picou's face in front of her now. Just before the commander had sent her into her cabin, he had smiled down at her and said in his good-natured tone, "Stay out of trouble." His smile had lingered as he'd walked away.

She stood up abruptly. No. She could not dwell on a penniless commander, when Claude was waiting for her in New Orleans. It was unthinkable. Her years of being destitute were over. She refused to allow herself to give that up.

She opened the door, closing it behind her, and again walked to Arabella's cabin. She wished to find out more about Arabella, and she was tired of waiting. It was now or never. Waiting a moment, she knocked.

The door opened only slightly, just enough to see who was there.

"Oh, Miss Collingwood, it's you." Arabella's voice didn't sound welcoming, but neither was it rude. She eased out of her door and closed it behind her.

Lily drew her over toward the side of the ship. The sea was not quite as tumultuous as it had been last night. The pinks and purples of sunset were fanning out through the clouds in the sky and reflecting on the ocean,

"Isn't it beautiful?" Arabella smiled, her voice soft.

Lily looked out to sea, nodding. "It is, quite."

Bella turned to her. "What did you need, Lily? Can I help you with something?"

"Information." Lily didn't intend for the word to come out quite as abruptly as it did. "I want to know what is going on, Bella. I know you're supposed to marry a man in New Orleans. But you don't seem…" She averted her eyes. "Who are you? Is your father the Baron St. John I hear tell of in Yorkshire? It must be a remarkable thing to be from a titled family."

Arabella stared back at her curiously. "Why? What makes it remarkable? I'm very happy for you, Lily. It sounds like you've met a good man. And I hope you will be very deliriously happy when you marry. I don't expect to be. Being in a wealthy family has done no more than to make me feel as if I'm a lowly pawn in someone else's chess match. I had no choice in whom I marry. And I have no options to back out."

Lily seemed shocked. "Oh…I'm sorry."

Bella sighed. "So am I. I had no intention of telling anyone that. I was going to ask your fiancée's name. Perhaps they know of each other and we might see each other again when we get there."

Lily eyed her curiously. "I'm sure your fiancée has likely heard of him. Picou," she said. "Claude Picou."

Before her eyes, Arabella turned a dreadful shade of white. Lily worried that she would pass out before her and fall overboard. She reached out to take hold of Bella's arm, but Arabella backed away from her, her eyes wide and nearly colorless.

Lily stared. Suddenly, she knew. She knew.

She and Bella were both engaged to the same man.

* * *

The Truth Dawns

Breakfast the next morning was a very bleak affair. Both women at the table were very quiet, and aside from moving food around on their plates, neither was actually eating. The strained atmosphere did not go unnoticed. The captain and his commander exchanged questioning glances while studying the ladies. Lily sat stiff in her seat, staring with a stone face across the table. Bella, on the other hand, did not look up at all, preferring to concentrate on watching her food. Occasionally, one of the ladies stifled a yawn.

"Eat, Miss Collingwood." Earl finally broke the silence.

Lily began to take a bite when she noticed a telltale sign from across the table. Bella casually took another biscuit from the plate in the center of the table, dipping it into her oatmeal to soften it, then setting it aside. How odd, Lily thought. For someone who was not eating, a lot of food seemed to be disappearing from Bella's plate. A moment later, a satisfied sneer crossed Lily's face as she saw Bella sneak the biscuit into her dress pocket.

She glanced up to see if either the captain or the commander had noticed. Both were too busy watching Arabella's beautiful face to see the truth. It was disgusting to witness. All the males on the ship were captivated with the beautiful, titled Bella. They rushed to protect her name and reputation and insure her health and happiness.

"If I were sitting here marked with pocks or leprosy, I doubt anyone would notice," she muttered under her breath.

"Excuse me?" Earl's voice said into her ear.

She shook her head. "Nothing."

An old familiar pain pierced her heart. Once she had been from a titled family, too. Fate had robbed her of her rightful place in society when she was but a child. It began when her scoundrel of a father lost favor with the crown, as well as his funds in gaming halls. Then her mother died, soon after the scandal broke, and her father took his own life, leaving her alone, with no parents, funds or future. The orphanage that took her in was strict. She'd left it after she turned eighteen and maintained a meager existence, working in a textile mill by day and taking in laundry at night. She still had nightmares about the mill and likely always would have. The owner's threatening voice still plagued her dreams.

That was when she met Mr. Picou. Life had turned around for her that day. He'd bought her clothes and offered her a place in America. He'd swept her off her feet before she could think better of it and would have swept her into his bed, had she allowed it. But virginity was the one thing she still had left that was her own, and she had refused.

It was the hardest thing she'd ever done.

"Miss St. John, are you feeling ill this morning? You appear quite pale to me." Captain Smythe's voice interrupted Lily's thoughts. She listened closely to see what would come of his inquiry.

Arabella gave a small shake of her head, lifted her face slowly, and answered in a mere whisper. "I-I am afraid I didn't sleep very well, Captain. That's all."

Poor thing. Lily's lip curled in derision. "Lack of sleep must be going around. I tossed and turned about a bit myself. It was quite noisy. People were talking all hours of the night." When Bella blanched, Lily allowed herself to sample a spoonful of her oatmeal before continuing. "Miss St. John, are you finding the biscuits especially tasty this morning? I have noticed you keep reaching for them. Be careful, my dear. If you continue to enjoy your food so much, your new husband might disapprove. You would not wish him to push you aside before you are legally wed."

"Miss Collingwood, now see here. You're being extremely rude," Earl scolded. But Bella raised her hand to call him off.

Lily stared. Bella's response surprised her. Instead of cringing, she merely gave Lily a sad nod. Was that an expression of pity on her face? Pity?

Stiffening in her chair, she fought the urge to scream. She didn't need or want anyone's pity! But as she fumed, Lily admitted to herself the ruin she faced was from her own nearsightedness.

She opened her eyes wide, as the truth dawned through the madness.

Claude had never mentioned marriage. Not once.

He'd been full of promises. Wealth. Fancy parties, her own house in the city, but never had he hinted of marriage. Bella, the beautiful, polished lady from a titled family was the type of wife men like Claude Picou wed.

All Lily had to offer him was love—and her virginity. And, that, she thought bitterly, was not enough.

Even if she knew her hatred was misplaced on the girl across the table, Bella was the only target available for Lily to lash out at. The captain started to comment on the rude way Lily was acting, but Bella again intervened. "I find my appetite has left me. Might I inquire as to the possibility of taking some biscuits and fruit to my cabin, for a light snack later?"

No sooner had the question been uttered than the captain pulled out his white handkerchief and offered it to Bella. She thanked him, piling not only the softened hardtack but a portion of pork belly and fruit on it, tying it tightly while Lily sat, fuming. She wrapped it up tightly. "If I may be excused, I think I will go back to my cabin now and rest."

"With the amount of food you just packed away, one might assume you plan to regain your appetite soon enough. Or that you're saving it for someone else." But Lily stopped, as Earl glared her into silence. Bella turned pink.

"I will see you to the upper deck, Miss St. John, and carry your parcel for you. If you will excuse us," the captain said, looking over at Lily with a frown.

Lily, her mouth tight, rose and followed behind him, seething at the respect he had shown to Arabella. It was clear who warranted attention onboard.

As if he felt the distain in her glare, Captain Smythe turned around to see Lily close on his heels. Arabella had cleared the top on the way to her cabin, and the captain backed away from the ladder so Lily could go first.

Three steps up, she could hear him muttering to Earl about being correct about women on board causing drama. She hadn't realized that the commander had followed her and tensed when the captain insisted he had his hands full keeping Miss St. John out of trouble. He ordered Earl to take care of the moody Miss Collingwood.

Oh, no captain, Lily thought as she waited for the men to climb the ladder. I refuse to be treated as second best. You might find it beneath your standing to concern yourself with me, but underestimating me will cause you a great deal more drama than you could possibly fathom. Glad she had not said the words aloud, she turned and waited at the top, reaching out to place her arm in the captain's.

"Tell me, Captain Smythe," she said. "What is the punishment for harboring a stowaway in a great vessel like the Charlotte?"

Already resigned to his duty of handling her, Earl reached over to extract her arm and brought her to his side. "Don't concern yourself with matters which are none of your business, Miss Collingwood. I would like a moment of your time to discuss more pressing matters."

"Oh, but I think the topic of stowaways is of paramount importance." Though Earl had pulled her away, she locked eyes with the captain's. "Isn't it, Captain?"

His interest was piqued, and he motioned for his commander to halt.

"You have been beating about the bush all morning, Miss Collingwood. Am I to believe you know someone responsible for harboring a stowaway? Before you continue, I hope you realize such an accusation is very dangerous to make, until you have proof."

"If proof is what you seek, all you need to do is search Miss St. John's cabin. The two of them are probably enjoying fruit and salt pork at this very moment."