Ten
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Holy Hell. What had she done? How did she get here?
And please God say she had her clothes on.
Sam didn’t move, mainly because she didn’t want Logan to know she was awake. Not yet anyway. She focused on determining if she had her clothes on. She moved her arm slowly against her side.
Well, she could tell she still had her shirt on at least. Now, the bigger question. How did she end up in Logan’s bed and what did they do? She knew she didn’t drink that much wine.
Keeping her breathing even and slow, hoping the man lying behind her wouldn’t be able to tell she was awake, or better yet, he’d still be asleep, Sam tried to remember anything that happened last night.
She remembered them talking on the back patio, she remembered watching some action movie, and she remembered wanting to close her eyes for just a minute. She didn’t remember coming to Logan’s bed on her own two feet.
What the hell had she done?
Sam moved her arm just a little lower, trying to determine if her shorts were still on, but she bumped up against Logan. God he was warm and… hard. Shit.
She could feel his body pressed intimately against hers, his erection poking into her rear end. This couldn’t be good, no matter the intense rush of desire flooding her system. What was she supposed to do now? Leave?
Yes, that seemed like the logical solution. However, if she moved, she was almost certain he would wake up. After all, she was cocooned in his arms, and it felt so good it was almost painful.
“I know you’re awake.” He whispered, lying perfectly still behind her.
Damn.
“Nope. I’m still asleep, and this is just a dream.” She tried for humor, hoping it would ease the tension that had her tighter than a knot.
“Well, if that’s the case, this is one of those amazing dreams I very seldom have.”
Sam felt his warm breath on her neck and the twitch in his body. This never happened to her. Never.
She did not wake up in a man’s bed.
She did not get turned on by her boss, who at the moment was definitely not her boss.
And no matter what, she did not take this to the next level.
“I really should go.”
“Why?”
The one word question seemed so innocent, yet Sam couldn’t come up with any words to answer him. Why did she need to go? Hell, if something did happen between them, it was too late to turn back now anyway.
Sam thought about what they would say in the office if word of this ever got out. Her reputation would be ruined. She’d be tagged as the woman who slept her way to the top. Regardless of whether she had gotten the job legitimately and she had worked her ass off to get there, the rumors would do her in. Hell, she might not even have a job if this ever got out.
She wanted to turn toward him, to see the expression on his face, but she didn’t want him to see the guilt in her eyes. The regret. Even if she couldn’t remember anything that happened, she regretted she had put herself and him in this position.
“What do you mean ‘why’? This is heading in a direction neither of us is ready for. Neither of us can get through this unscathed, and I don’t want this to get out around the office. So far, we’re safe. Nothing happened, and we can walk away knowing that we did the right thing.”
God she hoped nothing happened. She certainly wouldn’t want him to think she didn’t remember. But, she didn’t. So…
“When you say ‘the right thing’, you mean we didn’t take a chance on one another?”
Logan moved closer, his bare chest pressing against her back, the soft tangle of hair covering the hard planes tickled her skin, sending shivers down her spine. Sam squeezed her legs together as her body ignited. If he got any closer, she wouldn’t be responsible for her own actions.
Oh, hell. Who was she kidding? She was the only one responsible and here she way, lying in bed with her half naked boss, wishing like hell they were both fully naked. His words resounded in her head. A chance?
“What chance is there to take, Logan?” She asked, pulling away from him in an effort to sit up. “We can’t do this. It isn’t appropriate, and you know it as well as I do.”
Apparently that was the wrong thing to say.
“Appropriate? I’m so fucking tired of appropriate. If you want to go, go. I’m damn sure not stopping you.” Logan turned over and dropped his feet to the floor on the opposite side of the bed.
Before Sam could say anything, he continued.
“I don’t regret bringing you to my bed last night. The only thing I regret right now is not taking it to the next level. But, a promise is a promise. I hope you can see your way out because I’m going to take a shower.”
Sam sat there, her heart aching. She didn’t mean to upset him, but clearly he wasn’t thinking with his head. Well, not with the right head anyway. This wasn’t the right thing to do, although nothing had ever felt more right than being with him. She wanted him wrapped around her, inside of her, making her scream. She wanted to let go with him. She wanted all he had to give her, but where would it lead? Sex?
Yes, that was an easy answer. But anything past that was just wishful thinking. Sam knew in her heart that casual sex wasn’t something she could do, no matter how hot Logan was and how desperately she wanted him.
Once they slept together he would usher her out of his house, and she would be more broken than she was before.
She learned her lesson with Nick. He had taken her heart and crushed it in the palm of his hand. For the past eight years, she spent her time trying to trust someone again. Guarding her heart and her feelings so fiercely, she hadn’t allowed herself to get close to anyone. She managed to gain some close friends out of the deal, but that was only because she closed herself off to any idea of romance and friendship was the only option left.
But, until Logan she had never felt so drawn to a man before.
Not even Nick.
It had to be due to the fact that Logan was her boss. He was off limits.
Taboo.
But with that came the fallout. Sam wouldn’t survive it. Her career wouldn’t survive it. To make it worse, she respected Logan when it came to business, and she couldn’t risk something going badly between them. They’d end up hating each other. That would make their lives so much harder, especially now that she was in Dallas, hopefully permanently.
But maybe…
No, absolutely not.
She didn’t want to think about it. The what-if’s could easily send her brain on overload.
What if they just used one another for the next year while she was here? Either of them could make the decision to call it off at any time, and they would continue working together for the benefit of XTX until she went back to San Antonio.
Her body told her that was the answer. But, what if she wanted to stay in Dallas indefinitely? How would that work?
It wouldn’t.
She would want more, he would want nothing and things would become awkward between them.
As she sat in his giant bed, Sam could hear the shower. She could imagine him standing beneath the hot spray, gloriously naked, water sluicing over him, his body sleek and hard and suddenly the only answer was to go to him.
Fuck it.
She never went for anything that wasn’t safe and well planned out. Now, she was going to go for it. What other choice did she have? The what-if’s, the right versus wrong… None of it mattered when her entire being ached for him. She would hate herself if she walked away from Logan and didn’t take the chance he was offering her. She would rather go for it and see where that led.
With a determined breath, Sam planted her feet on the floor, threw right and wrong right out the window and straightened her clothes.
Walking slowly into the bathroom, the tile cold on her bare feet, Sam tried to be quiet. She could see Logan in the massive doorless shower, nearly the size of a normal bathroom in itself, three walls tiled, with jets and showerheads throughout.
The jets sprayed from all directions, directly on his tanned, naked body. She felt the wet heat between her thighs as she stood in the middle of his bathroom like a voyeur.
“Holy hell.” She whispered to herself.
This was it. The point of no return. She could drop her clothes on the floor next to his and join him in the shower, devour his body while he devoured hers and never look back. And she wanted to. Oh how she wanted to.
One step forward and he would know she was there.
Sam lifted her foot to do just that, but instead she turned the opposite direction. She had to get out of there and fast. Without hesitating any longer, she turned and ran out of the house.
~*~*~
Her apartment was quiet. Too quiet.
Sam took a step inside, locking the door behind her out of sheer habit. It wasn’t like anyone was going to come knocking on her door, much less want to come inside.
Especially not after what she’d just done.
The drive home from Logan’s had only taken half an hour, but it felt like an eternity. Her conscious had battled with her heart for the entire drive back, leaving her wishing she had been stronger.
But what did that mean? Strong how?
Strong enough to resist him the night before? Strong enough to tell him she couldn’t stay just to talk? Or should she have been stronger and joined him in the shower just to see where that would take them?
The erotic images that assaulted her told her exactly where that would have gone. The lingering regret nearly overpowered her.
She should’ve stayed.
What was done was done, though. All for the best, she tried to convince herself.
What gave her the idea she could handle a man like Logan anyway? She couldn’t hold on to him, she knew that much. He would want something she wasn’t capable of giving. Or he would want nothing at all.
However, the day must go on.
Sam quickly changed into her workout clothes and headed to the gym. Her membership with the popular franchise had easily transferred from San Antonio to Dallas, offering Sam the same benefits as before. Now, she just needed to immerse herself in some serious, heart pounding exercise, and all would be right in her world.
After two hours of cardio, Sam’s desperate attempt to burn off some of the pent up energy, she headed to the showers. Staying at the gym any longer than she needed to was risky. Even though she had never talked to him there, Sam had seen Logan once or twice.
Hurrying through her shower, then drying her hair quickly, Sam hoped to escape without running into him.
Her luck ran out as she was walking through the lobby. Catching a glimpse of Logan as she neared the exit, Sam was immediately hit with a force she hadn’t been prepared for.
Near the back row of treadmills, Logan was talking to a scantily clad, exceptionally attractive woman. A woman who apparently knew Logan on a more intimate level if the way she was touching him told the story.
An ugly wave of possessiveness overcame her and Sam choked back the sob that threatened. She had no ties to Logan; after all, she had run out on him that very morning.
Sleeping in the same bed for one night did not a relationship make.
It was like an accident on the highway, and she couldn’t seem to tear her gaze from the twosome blatantly flirting like teenagers. She immediately took a dislike to the girl hanging on his every word, as well as his muscular bicep. Although disappointment was like a knife in her back, she wasn’t going to interrupt what appeared to be a rather personal conversation.
Luckily, he hadn’t seemed to notice her standing only a few feet away, so she ducked her head and hurried out the door. As she made her way across the parking lot, she refused to acknowledge the pain constricting her chest, it was imaginary she told herself. She truly didn’t care if Logan was seeing other people. After all, he had made her no promises, and he didn’t owe her anything.
Some women see promises where there aren’t any.
His words from the night before hit her like a ton of bricks. She would not be that woman. At least she still had her pride. After all, she had walked away that morning rather than divulge in a few minutes of shared passion. The intense pain in her chest was her own fault. Shame on her.
After she arrived home, she showered again, shaving and scrubbing with her favorite body wash, spending more attention to detail than she had in a while. But, she needed something to distract her from the thoughts running through her head.
After she dressed in shorts and a t-shirt, she decided she needed to get out of the house. Basically, because she feared Logan would show up, but worse than that, she feared he wouldn’t. She didn’t even know why she thought he would attempt to talk to her. His pride was wounded. Was that screwed up?
As she climbed into her truck, she tried to think of something to do to take her mind off of Logan and the events of the night before. A pedicure would be a good thing, she told herself as she drove out of the apartment complex.
She didn’t know much about the Dallas area, but there was no time like the present to go exploring. She drove a couple of miles to a nail salon she remembered seeing. She sat in the truck for a moment, not reaching for the door handle.
A pedicure would be nice, but it would give her too much time to think.
Screw it. She was going to do something crazy. She backed out of the parking place and headed south, her foot heavier on the gas pedal than she intended. She might be making a monumental mistake, but nothing could be as devastating as the mistake she almost made that morning.
Night descended by the time Sam finally made it back to her apartment. She parked the car in her covered parking spot, but on her way upstairs, she glanced over at the garages located on the property. She wanted a garage, but she also realized that she wanted something more than a garage at the apartment complex. Her scenic drive had taken her past numerous houses, and one in particular had caught her eye.
Maybe tomorrow.
Maybe tomorrow she would alter the rest of her life.
One significant decision per day was her max so she pushed the thought from her mind.
After putting on her pajamas and washing her face, Sam decided to turn her cell phone back on. It had been a conditioned response that she always turned her phone off because she knew she would just be looking at it all day to see if anyone called her. Today was not that day so she had turned it off, hoping to avoid anyone who called or anyone who didn’t.
The phone booted up, and she glanced through the missed calls. There were three missed calls and two texts. She hit the button for her voicemail and pushed the speaker phone.
“Hey. What happened to you today? I went by your house but didn’t see your truck. I wanted to apologize for this morning. Where are you? Maybe we can get together tonight and talk?”
Logan’s voice was deep and sexy. Asshole.
Sam couldn’t believe how her heart was betraying her. She didn’t care about him, especially after the stunt he pulled at the gym just that morning. She didn’t need him, or the shit he would bring to her life.
The next voicemail began to play. “Hey honey, its mom. I just wanted to check in and see how things were going with you. I’m sure you’re busy with work, but I hoped to hear from you today. Call me tomorrow if you get a chance.”
The voicemail said the call had come in about forty five minutes before. Sam made a mental note to call her mom back on Sunday. She just didn’t have the patience for a lengthy conversation at the moment.
The last voicemail began.
“Sam, it’s me, Logan. I’m worried about you. I’m coming by your apartment. You need to let me in when I get there.”
Fuck.
That was the last thing she needed. She looked over at the door and as if on cue, there was a sharp knock that jolted her heart in her chest.
Did she answer it? Did she ignore it? Would he go away if she didn’t answer?
“Sam, it’s me. Please open the door.” She stood motionless. Her traitorous emotions told her to answer the door, but her brain was screaming at her to ignore him.
Sam walked the few feet to the door, took a deep breath and opened it part of the way. The chain was still on the door, so it made it impossible for him to come in.
“Hey. What’s up?” She asked nonchalantly, forcing a smile she didn’t feel. Well, at least she hoped it appeared that way because she felt anything but.
“Can I come in? We need to talk.”
“About what?” She hoped her innocent act would be bought, but she doubted it.
“Let me in, please.”
Wearing a pair of soft, faded Levi’s and a black polo shirt, an outfit Sam would have expected on a much younger man, Logan looked incredibly sexy. The snug shirt outlined his defined upper body, the muscles in his chest protruded against the fabric and the short sleeves circled his muscular arms.
She shut the door, glanced down at her boxer shorts and tank top. Oh well. She had no intentions of letting him stay for long, and she didn’t feel as though this were a fashion show.
After removing the chain from the door, Sam opened it, taking two steps back to allow him to come in. She didn’t want him there, and she didn’t want to risk touching him.
She didn’t want to be within ten miles of him because she was angry and that was a side of her she wasn’t comfortable letting him see. Anger meant she felt something for him, and that was the last thing she would ever admit to.
“Can I get you something to drink?” She asked as she headed for the small kitchen.
“Sam.” Logan gently grabbed her arm and stopped her from walking away. “What’s going on?”
She didn’t turn back to face him, but she stopped in her tracks. After what felt like an eternity, Sam gained her composure and turned to look at him, taking a deep breath.
“Nothing’s wrong, Logan. I needed some time to myself today. After all, you and Cardio Barbie seemed to be having a terrific time. What? Did she kick you to the curb?”
“What are you talking about? Fuck. Don’t answer that.” He ran his hands through his hair before turning and going further into the apartment.
At least he didn’t try to deny it.
Sam continued to the kitchen, grabbed a glass tumbler from the cabinet. Pulling out a can of Diet 7-Up from the fridge and a bottle of Belvedere from the freezer, she set about making herself a drink. She was stingy with the 7-Up and generous with the vodka. This was one of those times when she needed a healthy dose of liquid courage.
After a few fortifying gulps, Sam planted herself beside the bar and proceeded to watch Logan as he took in her apartment. He hadn’t been there before, and Sam wondered where he’d gotten her address.
Deanna.
Sam glared at him, getting angrier and more defensive by the second. He was standing in the middle of the room, looking around at her things.
“What do you need, Logan? I’m really tired and would like to go to bed.”
When he turned to face her, Sam saw something unfamiliar in his eyes.
“Sam, I’m sorry.”
He sounded sincere, but that didn’t explain his little tryst with Cardio Barbie. Then his eyes swept down her, all the way to her bare feet and then slowly back up, sending a traitorous chill through her. He could look all he wanted.
But damn him, he wasn’t going to get his way. Not this time.
In a desperate attempt to fortify her nerves, she downed the rest of her drink and went back for another. Hell, at this rate, she might just get shit faced. It might be the only thing to make her body listen to reason.
Damn it.