Chapter eighteen
On Christmas day, I slept in. Flo woke me up by licking my face and barking the moment I opened my eyes. The poor sod was desperate for a walk.
With a disgruntled sigh, I tumbled out of bed, put my running gear on, and headed to the door, Flo in tow. She was wagging her tail so fast it made me dizzy watching her.
The moment I opened the door I regretted not looking out the window first. It was snowing. Big snowflakes fell to the ground, covering it in white. It wasn’t too cold, though, so my guess was it’d all melt in a couple of hours, making a muddy mess everywhere. But for now it looked beautiful and kinda serene. Even though it was late morning – too late for my usual wake-up call at 6 AM – there was nobody around. People were probably still sleeping or nursing hangovers from the previous night.
Flo bolted out the door the moment I opened it wide enough for her to squeeze through. She barked at the snow, pawing at the white stuff covering the ground, and jumping around in circles chasing the snowflakes.
It was the first time she’d seen snow, I realised. Last couple of winters it’d been quite warm, no sign of snow anywhere south of Newcastle.
“You like the snow, eh?” I said, closing the door behind me. Flo barked enthusiastically, making me smile. “Let’s go for a run and then we can play a little, okay?” She barked in agreement and off we went.
******
By the time we were done playing and exercising, both Flo and I were soaking wet. I stripped my dripping clothes off the moment I closed the door behind me, ordering Flo to not take another step into the house. She needed a bath, too, but I’d deal with that once I’d had my own shower.
An hour later, both of us were dry, warm, and comfortably lounging on the sofa, trying to find something on TV to keep us entertained. Well, keep me entertained, mostly. Flo had her head lying on her paws and looked about to doze off.
For the hundredth time in the last twenty four hours, I wished Jay was here. I wanted to call him, but I didn’t want to disturb him on Christmas day. He was obviously close to his family and didn’t see them nearly often enough now that he lived in Cambridge, so I didn't want to intrude on the little time he got to spend with them. I hoped he’d call me when he got the time.
My stomach growled loudly, making Flo raise her head at the sound. I pet her absentmindedly to let her know everything was alright, and headed to the kitchen to make something to eat. Jane’d sent me home last night with two bags worth of plastic containers full of food. I had enough food for a week. Considering I didn't feel like doing anything but mopping around, I was thankful.
After lunch, I felt restless. I didn't feel like doing anything and yet I couldn't stand still. Walking to the window, I looked outside to see the snow was still falling steadily, covering everything in a fluffy white blanket.
Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I snapped a photo and sent it to Jay, asking him if they had any snow where he was. A few minutes passed with no reply, then an hour, before I threw my phone on the coffee table in order to stop staring at it.
It was getting dark outside, the street lights coming to life, casting a yellowy glow on the snow, making it sparkle. I’d spent nearly the entire day staring out the window, thinking of Jay, hoping he'd pick up the phone and call me. How pathetic was that?
A cab pulled in front of my house. A few seconds later, a blond head covered by a navy hat poked out of the door.
Jay. I wasn’t hallucinating, was I? Jay was really getting out of a cab in front of my house. Right?
I stared at him as he closed the door behind him and the car pulled away. Jay kept his head bowed as he took the few steps to my house and didn't see me lurking by the window. A moment later, the doorbell rang, making Flo bark and trot to the door. I was pretty sure she knew it was him standing on the other side because she had one of her doggy grins plastered on her face, tail wagging furiously.
Pushing past her, I opened the door, coming face to face with the man occupying my thoughts. I felt as if I conjured him here. The thought made me grin widely.
“Hi,” he said, returning my grin. “Can I come in?”
I stepped hastily away from the threshold, letting him in and out of the snow. Jay shook his head and took off his hat, making the floor wet.
I didn't fucking care.
Without saying another word, I pulled him into my arms and kissed him. His lips were cold and smiling against mine. I held on to him, afraid that I’d gone crazy enough to imagine all this.
“Hi,” I said once our lips separated. “What are you doing here?”
Jay shrugged. “I missed you.”
I hated that he’d left his family on Christmas to be with me. But, at the same time, I couldn't be happier that he was here.
“Missed you, too,” I said, swallowing past my closing throat. The strength of the emotion I felt right now overwhelmed me, so the next words slipped out of my mouth before I could censor them. “I love you, Jay.”
Jay’s smile was brilliant. Wrapping his hands around my neck, he buried his face in my neck and held me.
Flo barked impatiently, fed up with waiting for us to make out before she got Jay’s attention. Jay laughed, letting me go to squat down to pet my dog. This, right now, was all I ever wanted for Christmas.
******
I was pretty sure Jay wasn’t entirely comfortable as he lay in my arms, but he didn't dare move. I was squeezing him close and couldn’t bring myself to let him go, even if we were naked in bed and he assured me he wasn’t going anywhere. We’d fallen into bed in a frantic rush of kisses, clothes being pulled and hands desperate for skin. The first time had been fast and hard, both of us needing to get off as quickly as possible. The second time, we’d enjoyed each other’s bodies, caressing bare skin, slowly kissing swollen lips, moving together in a rhythm that left us both breathless.
And, still, I couldn't get enough of Jay.
“Your family must hate me,” I said quietly. It still came out louder than intended in the absolute silence of the room.
“Why do you say that?” Jay raised his head off my chest to look into my eyes. The faint glow of the bedside lamp made his blue eyes seem darker.
“You left them on Christmas Day to be with me.”
The corner of Jay’s mouth lifted in a cheeky smile. “Mum nearly kicked me out the door.”
He laughed at my puzzled expression, lifting his body up until our lips met.
“She said she couldn't stand my miserable face any longer. I was spoiling everyone’s Christmas cheer. That was a direct quote.” Jay moved to lie fully on top of me, his palms supporting his weight on both sides of my head.
“But...” I began. Jay’s kiss cut me off. His lips lingered on mine, his tongue forcing them apart.
I wrapped my arms around him, my fingers digging into his skin. Jay rocked against me, his soft moans caught in our kiss.
“They don't hate you,” Jay whispered, his lips moving to kiss along my jaw. “They know all about you and can’t wait to meet you.”
I swallowed thickly. Jay kissed my Adam's apple when it bobbed up and down a few times, then propped himself on his hands to look at me again. I met his dark gaze head on even though I was afraid of what he might see there.
“Say it again,” Jay said, his eyes burning with lust.
“I love you.”
Jay’s smile set my heart on fire.
“It scares the hell out of me, Jay.”
“Why?”
“Because I get this twist in my gut every time I look at you. Because every time I even think of losing you my lungs stop working.”
My breaths started coming in short pants, my heart beating a frenzied tattoo in my chest. I clutched at Jay’s arms, wanting to feel him closer still, wanting to fuse our bodies together, if just for the night.
A need uncurled inside me that I didn’t even realise was brewing.
“I need you inside me, Jay.” I rolled my hips against his, making him gasp.
Jay’s eyes widened and he bit his lip, looking away.
“Please, I...”
“I’ve never done it before,” Jay said, interrupting me. A pink blush crept on his cheeks, his eyes still not meeting mine.
“You’ve never topped before?” I asked, cupping Jay’s jaw and making him look at me.
He simply shook his head.
“Why not?”
Jay shrugged. “Nobody ever asked me to.”
The familiar rage woke up inside me. I hated every single guy Jay’s ever been with.
“I’m asking,” I said, burying my fingers in his hair.
Jay closed his eyes before he bent down to kiss me.
“What if I...” He began, then paused biting the inside of his cheek. “What if I’m not any good at it? What if you don't like it or if I hurt you?”
“You won't hurt me.” I pulled his mouth down on mine, kissing him deeply until his body started trembling with need. His hard cock slid against mine as our hips rocked gently together. “And I’ll love it,” I whispered in his ear.
Jay moaned, his hand sneaking between us, long fingers wrapping around our cocks.
I lifted my hips off the bed, urging Jay to explore lower. He got the hint, his hand sliding down my shaft until his fingers found my hole. I moaned, deep and needy, biting my lip to stop myself from screaming Jay’s name.
He shut me up with a kiss, his nimble fingers still rubbing my entrance. I wanted him inside me, any part of him, the need to be penetrated clouding my mind.
“Put your finger inside me, Jay,” I said breathlessly, surprised I could even form words at this point.
A devilish glint appeared in Jay’s dark eyes right before he brought his fingers to my mouth.
“Make them wet,” he commanded in a low voice, making a shiver run through me.
I sucked on his fingers, my eyes never straying from his.
“Fuck, Amir. You’re so hot like this.”
Sliding off me, Jay lay on his side propped on his elbow. I instinctively opened my legs wider when his body wasn’t restricting me anymore. Jay smirked, claiming his wet fingers back and finding my hole once again. He was watching me, studying me as his finger breached me, making me gasp.
God, it felt so good! I needed more. I didn't want him to be gentle. But it was his first time, and I wanted it to be as good for him as it would be for me.
“Add another finger, baby,” I croaked, my hand wrapping around my cock. I was painfully hard and needed to relieve some of the pressure, but I didn't want to come like this. So I stroked myself slowly, gently, careful not to reach that point of no return.
Jay added a second finger, his lips finding mine when I screamed his name. I was ready. I was so ready to feel his cock inside me that my body trembled with anticipation.
“Condoms and lube in the nightstand,” I said, pushing his hands away. The urgency in my voice made Jay chuckle, but he reached for the nightstand without any comment.
While he fumbled with the condom, I turned on my side, my thighs spread, exposing my ass to Jay. I felt his slick fingers pressing into me, stretching me, making my whole world shrink to this moment, right now.
“Jay...” I moaned his name, biting my lip to stop me from begging.
Jay withdrew his fingers and I turned to look at him over my shoulder. His pouty lips were red and swollen from our kisses, and his skin had a glowing sheen of sweat visible even in the dim light. His eyes were all pupil when he met mine.
Scooting a little closer, Jay plastered his body onto my back and I felt the head of his cock at my entrance. It took a lot of willpower not to push back and ride his cock fast and hard until we both came.
This was Jay’s first time, I reminded myself. I wasn’t going to push him to go faster than he was comfortable with.
As if reading my mind, Jay pushed in, slowly, but surely until his whole length was sheathed inside me.
“Holy shit!” I reached behind, grabbing Jay’s ass cheek and pulling him even closer. There wasn’t a breath of space between our bodies. I felt surrounded by him, filled by him, enveloped in his scent, his body, to a point where I didn't know who I was without him anymore. “Move, Jay. Please, move.”
My hoarse plea seemed to encourage him and Jay rolled his hips, his breath catching. He bit my shoulder and moaned my name, then started thrusting in and out of me, his hand reaching around my body, fingers fanning on my belly. Jay found his rhythm, making us both groan in pleasure. His lips never left my skin, kissing and nipping at my shoulder, my neck, my jaw. I was close, so close. I needed to feel his lips on mine, taste him before my orgasm claimed me.
Turning my head back as far as it would go, I met Jay’s eager lips, our tongues tangling together without any hesitation. Jay drove his cock in and out of me in long, fast strokes, his tongue fucking me with the same rhythm. I was ready to explode. I needed him to touch my dick more than I needed to breathe.
I bit his lower lip, moaning something incoherent. Jay smiled against my mouth, then deepened the kiss again. His hand slid from my stomach to my cock, the delicious pressure of his fingers wrapped around it making my breath catch in my throat.
I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move. All I could do was feel what Jay was doing to me. The exquisite pleasure of his cock inside me, his mouth on mine, his hand bringing me closer and closer to the edge.
“Fuck, Amir... I hope you’re close. You feel too good... I can’t...” Jay panted into my mouth, his words disrupted by our kisses.
“I’m close...” I gasped into his mouth when he nailed my sweet spot yet again. His fingers tightened around my cock at the same time, making the orgasm building inside me explode in an unstoppable wave of pleasure.
I felt Jay’s body stiffen behind mine, his come-slicked fingers digging into my hip, his teeth sinking into my shoulder as his cock pulsed inside me. His body trembled with his release, and he whispered my name, over and over.
I didn't know how much time passed before we both came down from our pleasure high, but it felt like hours before Jay pulled out of me. I couldn't move even if I tried. My body and mind were completely exhausted, all I wanted was to snuggle into Jay’s arms and sleep for a week.
The warmth of Jay’s body behind me disappeared, making me whimper. Soon, he was back with a warm towel, cleaning me, then curling around me and bringing the covers over us.
“I love you,” he whispered, nuzzling my neck.
“Love you, too,” I managed to mumble before closing my eyes.