Two tiny pink lines on two little white sticks.
I didn’t have the money to buy more than one pack of two, but I didn’t need to.
I was late. I was never late.
“Fuck.” I exhaled shakily and sat down on the floor of the bathroom, wondering what the hell we were going to do now.
We couldn’t afford a baby. We could barely afford to live ourselves. But despite all that, I let my hand drift down to my stomach.
A baby. An actual human being was growing inside me. One that Felix and I had unknowingly created but made from love all the same.
After sitting a while longer, I got up, packed the tests away into the box, and washed my hands. Felix would be home soon, so I went to the kitchen to start making some spaghetti Bolognese.
I’d worked the morning shift, which was torture. I didn’t think I had that full-blown morning sickness thing going on, but I’d definitely felt queasy in the morning for the past week. Another thing that gave me a not-so-subtle hint.
I finished prepping dinner just as Jared walked in the door with Felix, laughing and punching him in the arm as they walked into the kitchen.
“Get fucked. It looked like a turd’s ass.”
Jared chuckled. “Pretty sure turds don’t have asses, but whatever. The guy wanted it. What the fuck else could we do?”
“Um, maybe not talk about turds when we’re about to sit down and eat.” I winked at them and slid their plates across the counter.
Jared grinned and sat down, digging right in. “You make the best spaghetti ever, Mags,” he mumbled around a fork full of pasta.
Felix hugged me from behind, his hands smoothing over my stomach. I had to fight the urge not to flinch. He wouldn’t be able to tell the difference yet, but this was definitely a conversation I was scared out of my brain to have. But one we had to have, no matter what happened after.
He kissed my cheek and then moved to sit next to his brother. I ate in silence next to Felix as he and Jared continued their discussion of the ugly paint job a client had requested for his bike.
Felix was waiting for me when I walked into the bedroom after my shower. I ran the towel over the wet ends of my hair before hanging it up on the hook on the back of the closed door.
“You’re quiet.” He looked me up and down, eyes narrowing. “What’s up?”
Well, no point in putting it off. He’d either be furious, ecstatic, or somewhere in-between. Somewhere in-between was the best I could hope for, really.
I sat down beside him on the bed. “I need to tell you something.”
Humming, he eyed me thoughtfully. “Sounds ominous.” He pulled me on his lap so I straddled him. His fingers started twirling around the wet ends of my hair before he tugged the strands to his lips, sucking the water from the ends and making me giggle. “Stop, ew.”
“Make me.” He grinned wolfishly, and oh, how I wished this could’ve waited.
But it couldn’t, so in an effort not to stammer or have a panic attack, I squeezed my eyes closed and just blurted, “I’m pregnant. Please don’t hate me.”
I wanted to smack myself in the head because it came out as one weird word. I’mpregnantpleasedon’thateme.
Felix started coughing, and I hesitantly peeked one eye open to see his own eyes bulging, his lips slightly parted. “You just say you’re pregnant?”
I nodded, closing my eye again.
It took a minute for him to say something after that. A minute that felt like hours with my heart roaring and my stomach clenched tight. “Mags.”
“Mmmmm?”
He chuckled, but the sound broke off into a curse and another cough. “Look at me.”
I opened my eyes to find that his had softened. “I’m not mad. Shocked as fuck but not mad.” He laughed then. “How could I be? I put my dick inside you almost every night. You’re not to blame.”
I nodded vigorously, my head feeling like one of those bobble-head dogs you see in the back windows of some cars. He chuckled again, grabbing the sides of my face to keep my head still. “But how did it happen? You’ve been on the pill for years.”
Breath escaped me then, because this part was totally my fault. Still, I had to be honest. “I missed my pill. A few days in a row,” I whispered brokenly.
He frowned. “What, like, you forgot or something?”
I felt a tear leak out of my eye. “I … yes.” Sucking in a few gulps of air, I tried again. “My reminder on my phone … I must’ve accidentally switched it off, and so I forgot. It’s happened once before, so I thought it’d be okay. It was only two, maybe three days.” I sniffed, feeling stupid. “I was wrong.”
“Jesus, Mags.” His thumbs wiped up the few tears that had fallen. “Why didn’t you say something?”
I shrugged. “Didn’t think I’d need to. I’m sorry.”
The silence that followed made me feel even more horrible, so I went to climb off his lap.
He stopped me with his hands on my hips, and I looked down at him, finding his eyes on my stomach. Lifting my t-shirt, his hand slowly moved in to gently splay over it. “A baby.” A small smile edged his lips. “Fucking crazy. I mean, I always knew that you’d one day have my kids. Guess life got sick of us putting some things on hold.”
“You did?” I asked.
“Of course. You’re my girl, and that’s never gonna change. You and me, Little Doe. Always.”
I ducked my head, smiling and watching his fingers gently rub my tummy. He could still take me back—right back to where we first began. With just a look, a smile, or a touch, he could pull all my heartstrings as if he was responsible for its every beat.
And I guess he was. Every single one.
Two weeks later, I’d been to the doctor. We were lying in bed, Felix running gentle fingers over the skin of my stomach. I was only about seven weeks along, but he didn’t care. He seemed to think I needed to be kept in bubble wrap. Even went so far as to tell me that I should stop working; that he’d find a way to take care of everything.
I’d laughed and told him I was pregnant, not sick. He’d grumbled and given me a sour look before slapping my ass.
“Hey.” I looked up to find him almost asleep. He’d been at the garage late tonight.
“Hmmm?” He lifted one sleepy eyelid.
“What are we going to call him?”
He chuffed quietly. “Him?”
“Yeah, him.”
“How do you know it’s a him?”
I didn’t. Just had a hunch. I could’ve been way wrong, but I went with it anyway. “Humor me. What will we call him?”
He opened both eyes then, blinking slowly. I lifted my hand to run it over his cheek. He kissed it when my fingers reached his mouth to trace his lips. “Archer.”
“Archer?”
He nodded, closing his eyes again. “Archer. Darren for the middle name.”
While I didn’t exactly love the name, I pondered it as I stared at the ceiling, silently testing variations of it on my lips.
“Mags?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re cute.”
Crinkling my nose, I threw a scowl at him. He laughed huskily into the pillow. “Keep scrunching that tiny nose at me, Little Doe, and I’ll have to do something about it.”
I raised a brow at him, and he groaned, pulling me over him and lifting my sleepshirt from my body, leaving me naked. “Pull down my pants and put my dick in you.”
Pulling them down, I placed him at my entrance, sighing at the friction as he slid inside.
Sex felt different while pregnant, though I couldn’t put my finger on why or how. All I knew was that I wanted more of it, which he didn’t seem to mind one little bit.
“Fuck.” He shifted, sitting up and wrapping my legs behind his back. “Grind down on me, Little Doe. Yeah, just like that,” he whispered to my neck, sucking and biting my skin as I rolled my hips and worked myself over him.
His hand snaked down my back, moving to my ass where he shoved his hand down under it, lifting it in sync with my bouncing hips and making my job easier.
We both came mere minutes later, and Felix laid back down, taking me with him.
After a few silent minutes of him rubbing my back, still inside me, he murmured quietly to my hair, “Summer.”
“What?” I mumbled to his chest.
“If it’s a girl, we’re naming her Summer.”
I laughed at the fact he didn’t think I’d want a say in this. But strangely, I liked the name. “Why Summer?” I asked.
Placing a kiss on my head, he said, “Because I met you right before summer. Summertime always reminds me of you.”
Sometimes, he surprised me with random bouts of sweetness. You never knew when it was coming, which only made it all the more sweeter.
I wrapped my arms around him tighter, thinking that I didn’t just like that name.
I loved it.