Chapter Eleven

Two more days of travel took us north into lands that had once been Fon’s kingdom. We travelled through more villages and recruited more people for the academy.

And I quietly fell in love with the kings. Far from easing my crush, each day I seemed to fall deeper and deeper in love – while the thought of picking a favourite grew more impossible.

“Come with me, Kyann.” I’d thought Fon would try to impress me with something big and flashy. Fire, as he’d once pointed out to me, was the most impressive of the elements. Instead, he took me by the hand and led me away from the campfire on our second night in his kingdom.

My nerves thrummed. Each of the kings was taking a turn, and now was my alone-time with the king of fire. My awareness of Fon vibrated through me. Our fingers were connected, but it was as though our connection went beyond that. I was aware of his steady breaths in the still darkness.

“Here. Sit with me.”

I’d expected Fon to overwhelm me. I’d expected passion; fiery kisses. My gaze settled on his mouth. I wanted fiery kisses. I didn’t expect this quietness as he found a spot for both of us, sitting with our backs against a broad oak, his side pressed against mine, but with him making no attempt to bring us closer.

I was intrigued. Hasty, impatient Fon was actually capable of taking things slowly. I just wished he might speed up a little. My gaze settled on his lips and I wondered if I might be bold enough to initiate our kiss myself.

“What a beautiful sight.”

It took me a moment to realise he didn’t mean the sight I was seeing. I turned, following his gaze to look up where the dark sky was littered with twinkling points of light.

“Some say that the stars are our gods,” Fon told me.

“There are so many.”

Fon nodded. “They created everything at the dawn of time, and then the Goddess Giera sent them to sleep because they were no longer needed once everything existed, and all those gods and goddesses left in our world would only cause trouble when they had nothing to do.”

“I can understand that.” I remembered the trouble we’d been caused by the soultaker. He wasn’t even a god, and he’d helped the Emperor nearly destroy the Empire. I froze, then relaxed against him when Fon put his arm around my shoulders, drawing me closer. It was far better to stay in the present rather than scare myself with remembrances of the past.

“Only the goddess can wake them,” Fon continued. “If there’s ever a need.”

I settled against him, revelling in the comfort of his snug embrace, his warmth burning through me. “Let’s hope there never is.”

“Charnrosa is stepping into a long time of peace, I’m sure of it.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“I can’t be wrong. I know our guardian will make it happen.”

I snuggled against his shoulder so I wouldn’t have to look at him. “That’s a big expectation to put on small shoulders,” I mumbled.

He stroked the top of my back. “But these shoulders have already taken on so much. And achieved so much. I know Charnrosa is safe now.”

My heart lurched. He seemed to be distancing himself from what he’d achieved. And from me. Was he hinting that he wanted to leave Charnrosa in my care and return to sleep? Was that why he’d mentioned the gods and goddesses twinkling overhead? Words tumbled through my mind, but none that made enough sense to speak aloud. I wanted him to stay, but not if I was forcing him.

“My magic is still new,” I managed at last, not quite sure why I’d picked that to say, nor even what I meant by it.

“Your magic is glorious,” Fon said. “Look.”

I opened my eyes. The scudding clouds had covered the moon, obscuring most of the stars and making the night abruptly darker.

“Watch,” Fon told me.

I scanned the skies, wondering what he meant. My breath caught. A shooting star! The fiery missile began close to the horizon on our right. It powered across the sky and I barely breathed as I traced its progress, watching until it vanished out of sight behind trees on our left. I sighed.

“Now you try.”

I straightened, regarding Fon in surprise. The stars were still clouded. It was so dark it was hard to make out his expression. “I – you did that?”

Light glinted as he smiled. “A little fire trickery. It wasn’t as far away as the other stars. Anyone with magic could do it.”

Anticipation swept through me. I pressed suddenly damp hands against my tunic. My magic had developed so much. Was it really possible? I sat straighter. “What do I do?”

“Feel the heat inside you.” I closed my eyes to concentrate. My skin was cool in the darkness, but there was warmth inside me. Was that enough? Fon whispered against my ear, his voice low and intimate, “I know there’s heat inside you, Kyann.”

A blush raced through me, making his words true.

“There,” Fon said approvingly. “Now picture that heat as a star, tearing across the sky.”

I remembered the shooting star he’d made and pictured my own, the burning heat like the centre of a fire, bright against the dark sky.

“You’ve done it.”

I opened my eyes. There was another shooting star, higher in the sky than the first had been. Elation rose in me. I’d made that happen. “It’s beautiful.”

“Agreed.” I shifted my gaze, to see that Fon wasn’t looking at the sky, but at me. Heat burned in my face once more. “Your magic is magnificent, Kyann.” Fon reached forward, stroking my hair away from my face. “You’re magnificent.”

His gaze dipped to my lips and he moved towards me. I wrapped my arms around him, pressing against him as our lips touched and joined. There. There was the passion and the fire I’d expected from him.

His fingers pried beneath my tunic as our kiss deepened. His warm fingertips drew circles over my skin. I groaned and pulled him closer. My skin was burning. The whole of me felt as though I were on fire, desire scorching everything but Fon out of my mind.

I thrust my fingers into his hair, tangling in his curly locks. Fon groaned, his hands stilling on my back, bands of heat burning from my skin to my core.

When we broke apart, Fon’s blue eyes shone brighter than all the stars overhead.

“Oh, Kyann.” He smoothed back my hair. “My life was nothing before you, and I didn’t even know it.”

I wanted to tell him that I loved him. The words burned on my tongue. But I couldn’t say I loved only him. So the declaration ebbed, unsaid.

Fon sighed and settled me once more against his shoulder. We just watched the skies. My heart beat hard as all the things I wanted to say to him circled my thoughts, while my brain declared all of them unsayable.

Finally, Fon broke the silence. “Enchanted sleep isn’t like normal sleep. There are no dreams to pass the time. It’s how I imagine it might be to be dead – utter oblivion.”

“I understand.” My heart beat loudly, suddenly declaring its own, living state. I looked at him, trying to assess the expression in Fon’s eyes. I’d just spoken a lie – I understood his words, but not why he’d said them. Did he want to go back to sleep, or was he desperate to avoid it? My throat dried. I didn’t want Fon to go back to sleep. What would I reply if he said that was what he wanted? How could I bear to lose him? I couldn’t, I was sure of that.

And yet how could I encourage him to stay? What did I have to offer him? I wanted to be with Fon, but I wanted to be with all of them.

I could see nothing in the shadows of his face. I cleared my throat. “That sounds…” Lonely? Terrifying? Peaceful? I tried again. “That sounds like something that would be difficult for you.”

He twisted to face me, cradling both my hands in his. “How so?”

“Being alone doesn’t seem like it would suit you. You’re so … sociable.”

“But I wasn’t aware of what I was missing.” He lifted my hand, placing a tender kiss on the back. “Your relationship with the four kings in a time of peace … it’s changing.”

I swallowed. I was far too aware that was so. But this was the first time one of the kings had acknowledged the fact openly.

He sighed, and his breath over my skin raised goosebumps that ran all the way down my spine. “If you choose one of us, and it’s not me, I want you to send me back to sleep. If I can’t be with you, I couldn’t bear to watch you with someone else.”

The pain in his voice cut through me. I pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. I stayed there, speaking against his cheek, the words so soft they slipped straight into his ear, a secret between the two of us. “I do want you. I don’t think I could bear a life without Fon in it.” I felt the movement of his cheek against mine as he smiled. “I couldn’t bear a life without all of you.”

I thought that would make his smile fall. Instead, he pulled back. I saw the shine of moonlight on his teeth. “You’ll find a way through this, Kyann. You know we adore you. You only have to say what you want and we kings will make it happen.”

“You will?” My head swam. Had I understood Fon correctly? Was there a chance they might entertain… No, that wasn’t possible. Some sort of a shared agreement… It was impossible.

“We would do anything for you,” Fon repeated, then he pressed his lips to mine, his arms tightening around me, and the power of his desire drove everything but sensation from my mind. I couldn’t think, only feel. And that oblivion was welcome.